I have to say first off that I am just catching up on all of your posts as have been ill and sorta in and out of the hospital lately and YOUR posts have done a great deal to keep me laughing outloud so thank you! Basically you're AWESOME, Yenta.
In any case, I'm having trouble deciding between Leather being a.) Wildly, SHOCKINGLY immature and stupid or b.) High. Or both? So confused. I also can't decide if I hate her more or as MUCH as Tamra/Vicki from the OC. Decisions, decisions. And also, thanks so much for speaking MY thoughts on that opening scene with the Creaky Joints meeting. SERIOUSLY had trouble not screaming at my t.v. If only Jill had a P.A. to show her the dailies of that whole scene from last week with Bethanny...I don't think she would've been QUITE so effusive with her praise. And lastly, I read on Bethanny's blog on Bravo that since filming has wrapped, they've trouble COLLECTING the prizes that Kelly had offered IN said meeting. Again: Shocking.
Anyway, thanks again for being so delightful and funny Yenta! You are loved up in this house!
-Tiffany

Oh, oops! Just realized that you already wrote about that thing in Bethanny's blog. O.k., well still: pretty appalling!!

Another fantastical recap - I look forward to this every week.

OK wtf is up with Mario? Methinks he may have grabbed the wrong pill bottle out of ye olde shared medicine cabinet. Serious anger management issues.

What is now becoming clearer with each passing mario-sode is how much he and Ramona are alike. They are both frenetic and jumpy and seem to believe they have the right to tell people whatever comes into their overfilled little minds. They both worry a lot about how they appear...Ramona and her "I invented fashion" and Mario screaming about this stupid tennis match for weeks...to what? Remind everyone he is a ranked player? Who cares? Why would Jill care? They are ridiculously perfect for each other. They make me almost like Simon and that makes me almost sick to my stomach.

Oh...which reminds me, Simon did have a good point last week when he called Ramona and Mario out as hypocrites. Soooo...its ok to be in teeny bikinis with a nude model and play kissypoo with her, in front of your daughter, while being filmed for a reality TV show...but a semi-acquaintance of yours has some topless shots come out and you feel "duped" and "taken advantage of". huh wha? I think the voices in her head had an argument and Ramona lost.

Kelly Benmethface….good lord. She is such an obvious POS. After telling Jill’s daughter that it was “cute” that she has rheumatoid arthritis here she is donating Coach bags and her ex-husband’s services? Where was all this good will last week? Why not throw these out there at the first meeting to soften the “I don’t put my name on anything” blow? whateves

Looking forward to this NJ show…it seems a little Soppranos for me but I’ll be there.

One good good thing about this week Yenta, at least you didn't throw any food and the housework was lightened ever so slightly.

Transgendered Michael Phelps- ha, perfect. I had been thinking all along that she had the build of a male swimmer. Maybe they share the same dealer. Wonder how Max got sparkles from her. There is nothing sparkly about distressed leather.

Ramona seemingly held it together, but it wouldn't surprise me if she had an anuerism trying to hold all that crazy in. And Mario, like realitee said, makes me kind of like Simon, ugh.
Maybe we'll see Mario pop up on the New Jersey series as a "friend of the family".

Jill's apartment is putrid. Why would you be friends with someone who spent that much of your money to make your apartment look like that? Oh the trials these women must endure to get their mugs on tv.

Raising a skinny girl cocktail to you Yenta.
Shanti

Great recap, Yenta!

Loved that you mentioned Fatal Attraction in regard to LF because I totally thought that the outfit she wore to the tennis match looked like a halloween bunny suit worn backward with the cotton tail in front! WTF with that dress?

Funniest line during episode (from Lady B scoffing about Silex not going out much): They're at the opening of a door!

Funniest cutline: That's okay Simon, you always have your dignity.

Funniest comment (from Shantigal): There is nothing sparkly about distressed leather. LOL!

All I could think about when Leather's date was talking about the sparkles was strippers. A friend of mine used to date a stripper and he would always end up with sparkles from her lotion, smelling like cotton candy to boot.

Also, I had to pause the episode for a second to recover when Lulu said that "losing all that weight is the easy part!" to that poor girl. You could almost see her struggle with whether to tactfully let it go, which of course she didn't.

Great recap and even better screencaps, Yenta! I laughed out loud when that one girl (at the self esteem seminar) starting rolling her eyes while being forced to listen to LuAnn's BS. LuAnn can be so deliciously passive-agressive. She might just as well have said to the little girl, "Yeah, I think you'd make a wondeful model...you fat tub of LARDASS!" I do still have a tiny bit of sympathy for the Countess, though, because I imagine it must be humiliating to learn via email that your Count is replacing you, and with a Princess no less!

Jill's apartment? There are no words. Brad, you just plain suck...and not in a good way either. That POP table would be much more fitting if the letter "O" was doubled.

I heart Bethenny, but she's getting awfully down and dirty in her blog lately. She's sounding a bit egomaniacal and her dissing of Silex was so mean-spirited. Hopefully this recent viciousness is just a temporary thing, caused perhaps by an overdose of bitter herbs. Please, Lady B, check thyself before thou wreck thyself.

p.s.
Yenta, I am so happy that you'll be doing the RHoNJ! I mean I'm glad that you'll be doing the RECAPS, not that you'll be "doing" the actual housewives themselves. I caught the sneak peek yesterday, and I'm already a little in love with those trashy Jersey bitches. Thick as thieves indeed!

Is Max the guy that Kelly beat up? Wow, with those big shoulders and man-hands, homegirl could really put the hurt on somebody.

If Bethenny keeps it up in her blog, we might have to change her brand from Skinny Girl to Meany Girl.

Lookin' forward to some Joisey Goils. Let's see some big boobs, bigger hair, and stretch pants, ASAP.

Hi Yenta,
Sorry i missed you last week but i was too busy with the Long Islands.
After last week this episode was a bit of a downer for me. I hate JZ's apartment, hated the infomercial feel I got from the ladies (maybe it's in their contract but it is wearing super thin), and wanted to shove my size 7 1/2 motorcycle boots up Mario's ass. What a big baby. I too read his blog on Bravo. Grow up, Ted Bundy, or at least think before you speak. There is no excuse for it.
Anyhoo, love you. CANNOT WAIT for your Jersey girls.
Big kiss
Twunty

Just when I start to like LuLu, she visits Smart Girls and behaves like a dumbass! If she talked to my imaginary daughter that way, I'd kick her ass. And then I read on her blog that she's going back there?!? With her book?!? And the girls are excited about it??? LuLu is Loco. My advice to Smart Girls is lock the doors, turn out the lights, and pretend that no one is there when the Crazy Countess comes a-callin'.

Mario truly needs help. You know, the first season I thought Ramona was the crazy one and he was normal. He is far from it. Maybe being married to a serial killer is what has made her crazy.

I'm not even talking about Leatherface any more. I'm hoping if I ignore her she will go away.

So excited and looking forward to hearing your take on the NJ wives, Yenta. The family dynamic should make for interesting times.

Love you and your recaps Yenta!

SWAK, PottyMouth

This show was a bit of a snore, but Yenta's recap made it worthwhile!

The faces of the young girls when the Count-less was taking was priceless. Could.Not.Be.More. Bored.
But the way Count-less dissed the girls by laughing and insulting them - just wrong, and took away any real sympathy I was feeling for her being dumped via email.

JZ's blog says that they have had to give back the money received for Leatherface's donation - since they have been unable to pin down her or the ex-hubby. So LF is all talk, no action and lots of meth and sparkles - ugh.

The much awaited tennis match was a flop - I was hoping for a Crazy Eyes meltdown. But agree with all who comment on Mario's anger and obession - he was taking this match way too seriously and needs a 'tude adjustment. Ramona, for all her complaining about how boring the match was, screwed up her shots enough for a few laughs.

Yenta, I need my carpet cleaned after the screencap "Rabid Yorkie". So right on!

Well, the RHONJ is my worst nightmare - it looks like a cross between Growing Up Gotti and The Soprano's. But you know I'll be watching! With lines like "I grew up in NJ all my life", who can resist??

THANKS YENTA - awesome job as always! xoxox

Ok...haven't finished the recap yet but I read this online from Kelly Bensimon on her thoughts of why she joined the RHONY “I wanted to put my name up there,” she says. “It’s not enough for New York to know me. I wanted the rest of America to know me. I have a great life. I have a lot of fun.” But hasn't she said MULTIPLE times, "I don't put my name on anything?" Except reality shows? She is KA-Razy!!

Great recap as always! I love to read these. This show is getting crazier by the minute. WTF with Mario? Why was he so worked up about this tennis match? He didn't even play in last years. At first I thought you were over the top to refer to him as a serial killer, but now I'm not so sure. The big question is: how is Avery turning out so nice and normal? She seems like the nicest kid on the show.

I was shocked that BenSimon was actually donating to Jill's charity and being helpful, but now it looks like she did nothing but make promises she couldn't keep. I need to keep up with my blog reading to see what's going on. I wonder if she'll do the show again. She might need the $$ for lawyer's fees I guess.

I am developing a soft spot for Countess LuLu. She is looking more and more normal as the season goes on. She might be a nut, but she did seem like she wanted to help those girls. And what a scumbag her husband is. Sigh. Those poor kids.

Can't wait to see what happens next week -

I used to not mind Mario so much, but he has been such a douche about this tennis match! I feel bad for Simon to have f'ed up so badly but it was kind of fun to see Mario so frustrated!
Lulu was totally demeaning to those girls! Too bad she didn't fall of her high heels while shooting hoops. They would've gotten a kick out of that.
I'm sorry but Jill's apartment is Tacky with a capital T. I wouldn't trust someone who dresses like a pimp to decorate my apartment (see tennis match outfit).
Kelly, Kelly, Kelly. A legend in her own mind. I just read that Saks canned her! What BS is she going to fill her blog with now?