Ah, well, moving on. What does JZ say to somebody in Africa who says it's not fair she has so much money? Finally, a question JZ knows the answer to. Without blinking an eye, or giving it a second thought, she delivers the most politically incorrect answer ever: "Life's not fair." Thank God she added that little detail about a charity raising money for a schoolhouse in Africa, otherwise she might have come off as sounding kind of entitled. And really, it's not that JZ feels like she's entitled to her wealth and luxury. Nope. She deserves it because she does good things every day. Important things like holding open elevator doors for people. That might not sound like much, but I'm telling you when you're late and rushing for an interview a person who holds the door for you is right up there with Mother Theresa. I love you, Jill, but you should NEVER. EVER. Talk about the economy.

For her part, Leather has been working hard to ensure that the legal community is solvent during these difficult times. Between her boy toy assault charges and being sued for ripping off the concept for her owl pendant, I'm guessing that Leather's lawyer is her biggest fan. It's probably a good thing that Leather is focusing on her career. She's going to have some serious legal bills to pay, and new head shots are a good start. Of course, it can't be easy trying to model with a prematurely cracked, cured, and dyed face, so it's no surprise that Leather's wearing jeans one step away from assless chaps.

we love a good booty shot.jpg

Sometimes a camera is just a camera and sometimes it's something more...

Quick man or woman.jpg

Think quick!! Man or woman?

Leather is quick to assure us that taking good pictures is not easy at all, especially when you're supposed to look like a woman. Seriously, thank God she's got that hair going on. But Leather's not done with sharing the psychological trials of being a model. You see, being photographed breeds insecurity. Well thank God something is breeding insecurity for her.

Kelly thrilled with pictures.jpg

Sadly, all that insecurity doesn't seem to be thriving in Leather's psyche.


All that self-love is just so inspiring for Leather. After all, nothing gives the promise of elegant party favors like your half nude body splayed across the invitation. I can't even imagine my husband's expression if I suggested this to him.

kelly invite.jpg

What a creative and literary way to make use of your crotch.

After that up close and personal look at Leather, I've got a whole new appreciation for how attractive Lulu is. Of course, Lulu has certain advantages. Her breasts aren't struggling to leap off her body in different directions, she's actually built like a woman, and her face doesn't beg to be used as shoe leather.

Lulu and Victoria have hit the streets for a day of shopping and they start out with a local street vendor who promptly relieves the Countess of $150.00 for two necklaces. Way to support the local economy!! But the Countess has more important things on her mind. She's on a mission to buy Victoria enough clothes that she never. Ever. Has to go to Goodwill again. You totally have to love the blond woman who keeps sneaking into the background. You just know she's got her friends over, eating popcorn and watching for her cameo.

The Countess is convinced that there's no treat that compares to watching your mother try on clothes in the dressing room. It's truly amazing how each of these women suffer from rampant delusions. As bad as I'm feeling for Victoria, I feel even worse for her little brother. On the other hand, if Lulu keeps hauling Noel along to fashion shows we may have an early favorite for winning the kiddie version of Project Runway.

Halloween is right around the corner and that means costume party time. In JZ's recession proof world that means serious business. We're talking months of costume induced anxiety for her and her dog. Personally, I'm sure the people hosting any party that killer makes an appearance at are fervently hoping for a muzzle. But, sadly, there's no sign of a muzzle in the totally ridonk outfit that JZ's designer has come up with for the pooch. JZ is going as a blond bewigged Elle from Legally Blond and her dog is taking the part of Bruiser, in drag. I really can't blame her for attacking the costume.

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This show is totally going to be on PETA's hit list.

Five minutes of commercials...

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One minute of JZ's sister and aunt.
Real Housewives of NYC: It's The Economy, Stupid!! Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5 

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Comments (24)

crt123:

Great recap..One question though.....what did the BBC interviewer mean when he said the recession was caused by "you lot"? Did he mean Americans, rich people..but certainly he didn't mean Jewish people..because that's kinda what it sounded like to me..I'm not usually that sensitive and or paranoid, it seemed like a strange thing to say though..

yeschef:

He is refering to Wall Street. New York with all the banks, lenders, mortages, stock market.

This whole sub prime mess and derivates came from Wall Street. So a lot of the blame for the economic downturn across the world is on the wealthy New Yorkers who caused the downturn due their greed imploding.

Jews are in favor of Usury laws last I checked and the whole mess was caused by getting rid of those Usury laws.

pixielated:

Unless JZ or her husband are bankers or mortgage brokers, I don't think we (or the BBC) can blame them for the recession. How about the politicians who loosened the laws governing mortgages and banking practices. And how about real estate agents who were selling houses to people who couldn't afford them? And the people who were buying homes they couldn't afford? There's plenty of blame to go around.

Sorry to be so preachy. That interview did seem to be a setup.

When she was all dressed up as Marie Antoinette, I expected her to proclaim, "Let them eat cake."

J-Mo:

OMG, Yenta I'm doying heah! You nailed this episode to the wall and then stuck darts in it!

First off, JZ and the economy... when she blew $16,000.00 last week on a plastic-y looking purse (in Day-Glo croc-skin or whatever) I knew there was no way she had any clue.

Brad needs to stop proclaiming his gayness, because he truthfully has zero taste... perhaps he's really trying to get all up in JZ's hoo-hah?

Alex's Feed-Bag Blouse? At the Met? Really? I applaud the charity sentiment wholeheartedly, but somebody please tell me she still wound up on a worst-dressed list.

I also have to love how Crazy-Eyes says she's not intimidated by rich or powerful or famous people, but her tween daughter strikes fear in her heart... most likely because that little girl knows all the really GOOD dirt on her.

Loved Bethenny as Roller-Girl (she meant Heather Graham's character from "Boogie Nights" right?) and the girl can actually SKATE!

And as for Leather's awesome party? Girl, I feel you about the randomness thing. It didn't look like she even knew ANY of those people that were there, it looked like a crapfest of epic proportions. Plus, if Silex had THAT much time to pose for photos in their silly costumes then it can't have been all that A-list of a gig. Did you also love how LuLu tripped and almost went flying as they were on their way out of it? I can't wait for Round Two between Leather and Lady B this next week!

Awesome job as always, love your writing!

love, J-Mo :)

here4beer:

I think the BBC guy was referring to Americans in general when he said "you lot." That's how I took it, anyway.

I really hated that corset on TV, but I have to admit that Alex looks really lovely in that picture. I'm not sure if burlap is appropriate for opening night at the Met, but she still looks great.

Yenta, I can't believe you made us look at all those horrible pics of leatherface, and didn't include a pic of Max in his loincloth! D:

Viane Slice:

Hi!

I’ve been lurking for months and finally decided to join. You guys have the best recaps ever. They are totally hilarious.

I won’t lie: this week’s episode really made me squirm, especially watching JZ being grilled about the recession in her fabulously redecorated (gag) dwelling. She should have said something graceful like, “I am aware there is a recession. I am also aware I’m one of the lucky ones. That’s why I give back and help the less fortunate…” then she could segue into her charities especially building the schoolhouse in Africa. Where’s her PR person? Someone should have been right there to head off that train wreck.

About Silex: is it me or do they seem better when they aren’t trying so hard? When they aren’t being rabid attention grabbers, both Alex and Simon are good listeners, can be thoughtful and insightful and obviously love their kids. Why can’t they just be that way all time and stop trying to show how luxurious their life is when it’s obvious that they are high middle income people trying to live the life of the uber rich in New York? Because let’s be honest: if they could afford to live in Manhattan, they would have. If they could afford to rent a massive cottage in the Hamptons or go to St Barts during the in season, they would have.

I did like that feed bag corset. Quite honestly it was well made but where would it have been truly appropriate to wear it? At work on Friday casual day I guess?

Leather needs to get out of her delusional little world. She’s nasty and condescending and when she blogs on Bravo she does the best spin on her behavior. She either doesn’t acknowledge it or she blames it on the other person. During her confrontation with Bethenny she actually blogged that it was Bethenny who was in the bar alcove lurking to accost her. Uh huh. I know editing can twist things, but I don’t think they could twist Bethenny walking to the exit and Leather is already there, no way.

Also, all these women provide commentary on what is expected (or women think they are expected) to look and act like to be approved in today’s society. I think the youngest is in their late 30s yet all of them are striving one way or the other that they have not aged past twenty nine years old tops. What ever happened to aging gracefully and showing class and elegance one has attained through years of experience? They are all fairly attractive for their ages. I thought Crazy Eyes looked good for 45. But never ever even on their best days will they be cute, flirty girls again. Is it fear that they will no longer be considered sexually viable to men? Think of the women we know who would considered beautiful even when they were older: Audrey Hepburn, Lena Horne, Jackie Onassis, Eartha Kitt, and Coco Chanel who was known to captivate men until her death at 87.

I watch how these women interact with the daughters, these budding beauties who will in a short time shine like stars, given the chance. But the way they are shown on TV those poor girls might have to seize the chance to be their own person. I’ve watched Victoria look like a cornered rabbit when confronted by Luanne. I’ve watched Crazy Eyes’ daughter cringe in horror because of her mother’s insistence to act like a Playmate at the Playboy mansion. I’ve watched JZ’s daughter look on in sullen silence at her mother’s antics. Leather’s daughters are treated like recruits in bootcamp.

I’m hoping maybe it’s just editing, but I think the Housewives will have jealous fits when the daughters start their own social lives being everything the Housewives have lost and try so vainly to regain.

Okay, I’m off my soapbox. I promise no more rants. This is just my first time, don’t hate me ::::big liquid eyes::::.

Fight the power,
VS

yeschef:

"Where’s her PR person? Someone should have been right there to head off that train wreck."

Uh this type of train wreck is quite common now. There was a wife of a TARP receipiant who had an article on how hard it was for her and the disdain it generated in the people who read it was of epic proportion.

Here are the some whines this person wrote about.

"I haven't even looked at spring clothes... Like so many others, I'm shopping in my closet."

"This year, of course, entertaining our crowd [for my husband's birthday] at our usual multi-star Michelin hotspots would simply not do...We ultimately picked the cozier restaurant-even though it ended up costing us more, so eager was the more chic outfit to host the party. Why spend the extra bucks? Because our chosen place is distinctly low-profile and rarely mentioned in the press."

"I drive the family crazy by switching off the lights every time we leave a room."

uglycutie:

Although I did find the JZ interview with the BBC HI-larious, I think it would have been even better had the DisCountess had an opportunity to answer the question about what she would say those in Africa who think it's unfair she's living the life she lives.

I think it may have gone something like this: (in a condescending tone and a voice that sounds like she just smoked 3 packs of cigarettes) Oh, honey, you don't have to tell me what's unfair. I grew up very poor. I am Native American, you know. But I was open and tried different things and it landed me a Count and, now, here I am. Maybe if those girls in Africa wore more supportive bras and considered giving skin bleaching a shot, they too may have a chance of living this life." Long pause. "Love that Simon Cowell."

ohionancy:

Did anyone else find it odd that Luann did not seem to know anything about what her daughter had been up to away at school the past two months? She was questioning her about the food & did not know she had been attending dances. It was like she had not spoke with her at all since she had left!! I found that so sad. I'm sure they have phones there - she doesn't call her!!

pixielated:

I think Lulu would have had something to say about Africa since the Count left her for an Ethiopian!

Ohionancy, all those questions Lulu asked her daughter might have been set up so the audience could get some info on Victoria's activities.

Viane Slice, When I was reading what you said about the daughters, I thought that it is probably a good thing that Victoria is in boarding school. That will prevent any competitiveness from Lulu and let her develop her own (albeit privileged) view of the world.

FloOkY:

Hi Yenta, great recap, funny stuff, thanks.

I don't want anyone coming after me with flaming pitchforks, but I just need to rant for a minute. The purpose of the questions by the slimy, sanctimonious BBC reporter was intended to make Jill look bad or otherwise get a rise out of her for the article; it makes for a "better" story. He misses his own demeaning racism by just happening to bring up "someone from Africa" as if that's the lowest thing on the planet he could think of. Larry King, being mildly retarded and lacking even one ethical molecule, is an easy, transparent interviewer to watch to see the hackneyed technique. "Who did you dislike most while living in the house?" "So how long have you been an alcoholic?" "What's your biggest complaint about the film's producer?"

I was dismayed to hear Jill agree with Slimeball that she should have guilt. She and her husband employ and provide a livelihood to, presumably, a fair number of people in their community with the business they built.

The bag was probably comped just like the other goods and services in the show.

Regarding the feed bag, it was chosen by someone who owns a denim ball gown, don't forget. I don't dislike them as much as some, it's fun to watch and they seem like nice people. I just wouldn't get drunk alone with those two, I'm afraid something kinky and gross would happen, and I'd be fumbling with the lock on the front door in a horrified panic.

Thanks again for the fun recaps; I can't wait till next week when Kelly makes another ass out of herself!

~Floo

nyc cookie:

ok--I just want to say that after a lifetime membership in the itty bitty titty club, looking at Kelly's girls (boobs--not her kids!), I am so glad I never did anything about them. I am now 37 and still an A cup, but they look normal--even after 3 kids. Sometimes to feel extra sexy, I use those chicken cutlet things. But at the end of the day, they come off when my bra does and it feels great. Also, I was wondering, if you have an augmentation done, do you still have feelings in your nipples???
Also, I have posted on Kelly's blog about 3 times this week to stop saying she graduated from Columbia. I went there, and she is giving the University a black eye (pun intended! lol) I don't mind claiming Barrack Obama as an alumni, but please Kelly keep Columbia out of your mouth--you are embarassing the school.

nyc cookie:

Sorry forgot to add that my comments have not been posted on her Bravo blog, and I doubt they will be!

Baxter:

Great Recap! Your comments about Kelly have me rolling. They are all so true.

I have to disagree about Jill and the BBC interview. I thought she did a good job of dodging his obvious digs at her. I think I would have lost my composure after his "is it your lots fault" question. Jill's wealth comes from fabric not Wall Street. She has no reason to feel guilty.

yeschef:

"Also, I was wondering, if you have an augmentation done, do you still have feelings in your nipples???
"

There are women don't have any feelings in their nipples prior to augemention but do after.

It depends on a variety of factors. Some women get real amorous after a boob job which do have a number of legimate reasons some women have fairly large breasts and the augmentation can make them look more natural and don't sag.

NotWithoutMyTV:

They always cut away for reaction shots of the hausenfrau's children whenever they're around to witness the Fabulousity of their mothers. Is that look of faint shock and hurt Victoria always seems to wear in response to the Countess, or is that just how her face looks? Either way, I feel bad for the kid, who seems basically nice.

I'm really not looking forward to Bethany vs. Leartherface, Round Two. The first one was really... disturbing, and Round Two just seems like manufactured drama. If two women REALLY hate each others guts and livers, and yet keep seeking each other out, you sit there wondering "why?", and then you remember "Oh, yeah. Producers."

2MUCHBRAVO:

Pretty good epi. Love the recap and pictures Yentl! OMG! how can Kelly wear anything that accentuates those wandering bubbies?? How could she not sue her plastic surgeon? Oh, that's right, she's usually the one *being* sued.
I thought all the ladies (Simon included) looked pretty good in their costumes. JZ's designer friend must've taken some upholstery fabric right off the bolt for Brad's suit!
On Kel-Kel's Bravo blog she said her kids had Halloween and she lost track of time. She also said her parents were in town (and, uh, you were hosting a party). Perhaps she could have A) left her parents in charge of TrT'ing with the girls or B) decided that if Halloween is too special to miss with her girls and might conflict with her party, she should schedule said party for another night. She allegedly hosted the party for the son of a friend who 'she would do anything for.' Anything except host his party like a responsible adult. And, Kel, an open bar isn't the same as a cash bar (cheap dumb bimbo).
Did anyone catch the 6 inch scar on Max Max's tum tum? Yowzaa! Can anyone explain how putting on panty hose, a one-piece bunny suit, pumps and throwing your hair in a ribbon can take 1 1/2 hours? What do you all think she meant when she said, "It's not nice?" She had just "explained" her lateness, but also talked about how she looked all over for the other ladies and found out they had left. I think she was referring to them. She's not nearly deep enough to realize it's not nice to keep all your guests waiting. (Anyone see a similar theme with the Ginny Hilfiger party?)
Did that fashion photographer make anyone else's skin crawl? Ewwwww.

NotWithoutMyTV:

2MUCHBRAVO, you said:

"Did that fashion photographer make anyone else's skin crawl? Ewwwww."

This kind of exposure to alternative lifestyles is why I value Bravo so much. I have limited exposure to just "plain old gays" in my personal life, so, without Bravo, I would have no idea that there are all these gay subtypes, like "flaming gay men who like men but pretend to like women too when TV cameras bath them in the light of notoriety", or "flamboyant hairdressers/clothing designers who secretly aspire to be asexual tweeners for all eternity."

It's like having the weirdest characters in the world come into my living room several times a week. And then blotting out their existence with the remote any time I wish.

lexxi1129:

Oh, Yenta - you knows I loves ya, but I can not believe you didnt mention how Silex let one of their children hold a big assed knife while they were carving the pumpkins. Did anyone see how big that knife was?!?!? The camera person only zoomed in on it for like 5 times...

Great recap, tho!

PottyMouth:

Yenta! That picture of Kelly's boobs is beyond disturbing. I thought Lynne from OC had a bad boob job, but this is something beyond bad. Grotesque. Nightmare-inducing.

What a bitch Kelly is. I couldn't believe she had the audacity to act upset that everyone left her party when she couldn't even bother to show up on time. It's not like she was only five minutes late. It looked like she was over an hour late. Hate her!

I agree that the reunion should be a doozy. Can't wait! In the meantime, I'll have your recaps of the rest of the season to look forward to!

SWAK,
PottyMouth

pixielated:

Don't you think that the guy on the right in that picture of Kelly-of-the-wandering-boobs looks like he could be Kel's bleached, leather-faced brother?

You have gotta start giving us some pictures of Maxie as a reward for putting up with these hos.

FloOkY:

Anyone see Kelly's entry on awfulplasticsurgery? It's called "Kelly Bensimon's Breasts Horrify the Web." AHAHAHA I'm sorry I actually defended her once. Can't wait to read when Max says he was hired; it was just a modeling job.

viane slice:

Pixelated, that guy on Kelly's right is Laird Hamilton who is married to Gabrielle Reece who is on the left. He's a famous surfer and she's a supermodel. I tried to send a link to show a good picture of them but I couldn't. There are plenty of pics of them on the net. They've both been featured in People's Most Beautiful issues.

TinyT:

Oh dear Yenta,

Thank you for such excellent commentary...priceless! Only your comments make the show watchable.

I have a question. Why do we refer to Ramona's husband as a killer? I missed that reference somehow.

Thanks again!

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