Hey Gasmii:
Like a hungry family in the middle of the night, the Bravo staff went back to the Hausenfrau of NYC carcass and picked over its remains, pulling out a few overlooked pieces to serve up for a midnight snack. There's not much here, but it in a time of Hausenfrau famine, I'm grateful for what I can get.

I'm still "crazy"
This lost footage episode is really a series of Real Housewife sound bites, they're even shorter clips than normal and there's a lot of them. It might be a wish come true if I had acute ADD, but it's kind of a bitch to recap. For the sake of sparing the reader a surplus of contrived, connectors ("And then," "Meanwhile," "After," "Next,") and because the editors have generously supplied each clip with it's own title, I'm simply going to do a min-recap of each segment...Hope that works for you, I can only come up with so many connectors before I start to feel motion sick.
Jill Throws A Party At Her Hamptons' House.
Apparently, Ramona wasn't the only hausenfrau to throw a dinner party last summer in the Hampton. Jill's friend Gloria is visiting and she's another really good cook. Anybody else notice that Jill likes to collect friends who are really good cooks and put them to work? So, Jill's rushing around directing her troops to get the silverware polished, the tables set, and the red carpet ironed, because this is going to be one big ass fabulous dinner party. She doesn't even know how many people are coming, which means that her friend/cook Gloria doesn't know how much food to make. I don't know about you, but the one thing that would seriously stress me in the kitchen is not knowing quantity.
Jill tells us that she's invited Ramona because Ramona is in someway connected to some of the friends Jill has out in the Hamptons. And you've got to love the way Jill phrases that. God forbid, that the connection Jill's talking about could be friendship. Seriously, she makes it sound like Ramona does their taxes. On the other hand, I've got to admit that it's good-natured of Jill to invite her at all, because, personally, I'm not big on having crazy unmedicated people at my parties. It's not so much the crazy, as the unmedicated, that I mind. In addition to the Ramona crew, Jill has also invited Betheny and her now unemployed litigating boyfriend, Jason.
Ramona arrives with Avery and Mario and, like always, she's apologizing for being late; this time blaming it on Mario's tennis game. The dinner is set up as kind of a casual buffet style meal, and Ramona's already having some problems with it. It seems that she hasn't quite reached the chapter on etiquette for casual dining. When Ramona realizes that there are a number of tables set up and no assigned seats, it's just too much for her to handle. Her eyes start to pop, as she babbles incoherent lines about scrambling for chairs and asking someone to help her out. Then, snatching the napkin and a plate from one table setting, she calls for her husband saying that she found a nice table and they should take that one.

Unable to contain herself, Ramona hawks a loogie
Jill stands off to the side watching with an expression of amazed disbelief and tells the camera, "Take a plate. Get the food. Sit down next to someone you like. What's the big deal?"

Seriously, WTF?
While the guests are toasting, Ramona gathers her husband and child and doesn't let the door hit her on the backside as she escapes out to prowl the night.
The Count And The Countess Play Tennis.
The Count and Countess have decided to while away their time playing each other at tennis. There was a time when good sportsmanship was supposed to be a hallmark of the European nobility. However, after watching the Count, I'm pretty sure that that day and age has passed.
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Comments (11)
It was an unexpected surprise to turn on Bravo and see this extra clips shows... even more delightful was the fact that you recapped it, Yenta! Great job as always. Thanks for the Panama Canal tip too.
1 of 11 | Posted by roadtripper8 | Posted on June 3, 2008 5:40 AM
Dear Yenta,
I’ve been waiting to see if you would recap the clip-show and it was as usual, worth the wait. Well done indeed.
The first party scene showed us even more footage of Jill throwing a party. I’ve finally figured out why she invites Ramona to parties.
Jill likes to watch the human pinball machine (Ramona) , light up, bounce around off of furniture and people, until her eyes light-up, roll back in her head, her hair stands on end and she is rolled outside and back to her car.
No seating cards ? How hard is it ?
Let’s see, I’m hungry, the food and plates are out and there are places to sit. I pick up a plate, I get my food, I sit and eat. My dog could figure that out.
So as she bounces off the last little table and her eyes roll back in her head, she collects Mario and Avery and bounces out the door and to her car. I’m just glad she didn’t break anything.
I’m not even going to discuss the Count and Countess playing tennis. He’s a big jerk and a bully. I’m guessing the only one that misses this guy is Noel. Stay in Europe you big baby.
Now onto the good parts. Loved Jill’s comments about lingerie. Am I the only person who sees lingerie as really a gift for my husband? But Bobby redeemed himself, the watch and earrings while not my taste, were lovely gifts.
And then there’s Simon. You got this part wrong dear Yenta. You said there was “no Gay Husband. shopping for Alex’s gift”.
Simon is Alex’s gay husband. The earrings were nice but his comments about platinum were so over the top.
So Alex has platinum at home and he’s changing her over to gold to go with her expensive watch????? Platinum? Who are they kidding.
I’m guessing by platinum he means the Epiphany collection by QVC.
Seriously they go to the Caribbean in August and live in a hovel and he wants us to believe she has platinum just laying around the hovel. Please, don’t insult our intelligence.
The next clip shows Ramoana (I like spelling it that way) coming home from poor Avery’s dance and announces that the girls outnumbered the boys 2-1.
She goes to an ALL GIRL SCHOOL...So I’m guessing it’s not easy to get little 12 year old boys to go to a dance at a school they don’t attend. Besides, what girl would want to dance with the kind of boy who volunteered to go to a dance at an all girl’s school?
Dear Bethenny, why would you ever initiate going out to dinner with a happily married ex-boyfriend? Did you not see Bridget Jones Diary? Have you never watched Seinfeld? You know the one where Elaine makes up a Spanish bullfighter boyfriend named Eduardo Corrochio to try and make her happily married friends jealous???
The last thing you need is someone telling you how screwed-up and lonely you seem and how happy full of love he is. Please no more dates with the happily marrieds until you are one yourself.
Then my favorite clip of the show, “Little Frankie Goes to Art School” Apparently,running around and not behaving at all is endearing to Alex. At first I thought Frankie might have an attention deficit disorder but I was wrong. He has an attention overload disorder.
Attention overload is when you have two parents so busy climbing an imaginary ladder and doting on themselves, they have no time for limit- setting and expectations of behavior.
Alex and Simone, fire the Au Pair. She is the only one in your house that speaks fluent French and you cannot afford her. Then enroll the two monsters in any preschool that will take them and pray that someone can turn around their behavior so that they will succeed when they start grade school. Learning manners and English are the two biggest issues with your sons.
Thank you Yenta for a wonderful and enlightening trip down clip show lane. I thoroughly enjoyed it and now we know why The Countess calls that big baby she married “The Count” instead of by his name and why she doesn’t exactly cry her eyes out when he leaves for Europe.
Ahh next season awaits. By the way, I heard the women are doing a photo shoot for Bazaar. I hope that wasn’t a rumor, I would love to see what they do with Alex’s hair. Maybe just put a big old straw hat and overalls on our Kansas girl. Then black out a few teeth and let some chickens run around the set. Perfect.
'Til next season.
AnneM
2 of 11 | Posted by AnneM | Posted on June 3, 2008 6:58 AM
The fact the the Countess's kids had never been to the Statue of Liberty was so weird to me. You would think they'd been there a million times since it was a "gift from the family." Thanks for your insight on why that's historically not the best interpretation, I had no idea.
3 of 11 | Posted by MrsBojangles | Posted on June 3, 2008 7:52 AM
thanks for the history lesson. My husband told me about the delessops when he was forced to watch the show with me :-) I had no idea, and i'm guessing a lot of others didn't either..
4 of 11 | Posted by crt123 | Posted on June 3, 2008 11:04 AM
I'm amazed that your take on these clips is so close to my own reactions. Most of the "lost" footage is just more of the same, but the footage with "the Count" is truly disturbing. I can't help but wonder why the producers passed on airing it the first time around.
5 of 11 | Posted by britskivv | Posted on June 3, 2008 2:51 PM
Loved the recap! I miss this show. The best clip was Frankie going to art class. I'm surprised you didn't mention the art teacher saying, "If you had a class of 30 Francois's, it would be very challenging"!!!! I'm sure Alex will interpret this as a compliment to him somehow.
"The Count" is a disturbed man. I put his title in quotes since I doubt it has any relevance to anything in this day and age. Does he have other children? I was wondering that since he's on his fourth wife or something.
LOVED the recaps!! I hope there's a RHONYC season 2!
Linda
6 of 11 | Posted by LindaLC | Posted on June 4, 2008 12:51 PM
Hey Gasmii,
Boy do I miss the Hausenfrau ladies:)
I totally agree "The Count" is really disturbing. Thank God for Rosy.
As far as I know, Bravo has committed to a season 2 and they're probably getting ready to start filming. Anybody in NY might take a stroll by Zarin Fabrics to see if cameramen are hanging out...
AnneM: you might think about throwing your hat into the ring as a recapper : ) But if you do, you still have to leave awesome comments...
See you guys soon,
Yenta
7 of 11 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on June 4, 2008 3:10 PM
wasn't anyone disturbed by the creepy "adoration stare" alex had on while watching francois in art class?
8 of 11 | Posted by babs | Posted on June 5, 2008 10:07 AM
Dear Yenta,
I would love to be a recapper, what do I need to do?
I was a systems analyst, can't work anymore, back surgery made things worse.
I have nothing to do during the day except to let my dogs in and out and write letters to the editors of the papers around here.
They read one of my letters on CNN last week, I was pretty excited.
Let me know how to get into recapping, I need the diversion.
Thanks,
AnneM
PS I will always comment about shows I watch anyway, it's like being at work around the water cooler. I miss that.
9 of 11 | Posted by AnneM | Posted on June 8, 2008 3:17 AM
Hey AnneM:
I'm sorry to hear about your back. If I were you, I'd shoot the big guy, Flipit, an e-mail and ask him. I don't know how he evaluates writers when there's no auditions going on. Just send it to staff@tvgasm.com.
Hugs,
Yenta
10 of 11 | Posted by yentapatrol | Posted on June 8, 2008 5:32 PM
Dear Yenta,
Thank you!!!
Actually Flipit e-mailed me and told me to send him a recap and he'll take a look at it.
Now I need to pick a show.
I'll let you know what happens.
AnneM
11 of 11 | Posted by AnneM | Posted on June 9, 2008 2:35 PM