After Jill's birthday, watching Simon shop for Alex's birthday is kind of a let down. There's no gay husband, no deviously wonderful heterosexual husband, just Simon blathering on about how lucky he is to have such a beautiful wife and how he really enjoys dressing her to bring out her assets. Apparently, Simon is a man of habit and patronizes the same jewelers frequently or at least yearly, because he expects them to know him. Simon tells us that he knows Alex's taste very well, since over the seven years that they've been married he's seen them mold. The sales lady steers Simon toward the pair of gold earrings that he gave Alex on the yacht episode. Simon jumps on the concept of gold earrings to explain that Alex used to not wear a lot of gold. Instead, she used to wear a lot more platinum. But ever since she got a Luis Vuitton gold watch she's had to accessorize for it. I have to say that I'm a little disappointed that he didn't manage to drop a longer list of their designer possessions into the conversation. And when Simon winks at the sales associate, I become firmly convinced that she deserves a raise. She didn't even blink and I know that just watching it on TV made me taste just a little bit of vomit.

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Anybody else feeling nauseous?

We finish up with Simon assuring us that Alex loves it when he lavishes her, after all what woman wouldn't. Well, you know Simon, I'm not one to pass on expensive gifts, but I think I'd prefer having my house finished to new gold earrings. But maybe, if they come back for season two, those pictures of Alex will have earned enough money to refurbish the house in style.

Ramona And Mario Pillow Talk.

The clip takes place after Ramona finishes chaperoning Avery's school dance. Mario is laying on the bed reading a newspaper, when Ramona staggers in to their bedroom wearing seriously inappropriate chaperone clothes. If Avery were going to a catholic school, I would pay serious money for some pictures of the nuns' expressions when Ramona walked in. I bet they all started crossing themselves.

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Being married means never having to dial an escort service.

Ramona is a little disappointed that the girls outnumbered boys by two to one and complains that she doesn't know how they were supposed to socialize when the music was so loud. Mario lost in visions of himself as a young boy at a dance chiefly populated by adolescent girls makes cursory supportive noises. Then Ramona takes out her camera and shows Mario pictures that she took even though Avery asked her not to. And mentions that even though Avery didn't want her talking to her friends, her friends all approached Ramona when she giving out the drinks. Therefore, in Ramona's twisted brain, she didn't talk to Avery's friends they talked to her. Avery still has to learn that when you're dealing with crazy people it helps to not only lay out clear ground rules, but to also discuss any other possibilities that might arise.

Ramona snuggles against her husband and confides that the dance took her back to being single and she tells him that she doesn't want to be where they are. Which is a really bizarre statement, if you consider that she's talking about the desperate lonely angst of twelve year olds.

But the most bizarre thing is the really stilted obviously rehearsed speech that Mario delivers saying that it's a good thing that their married and they don't have to go looking at a dance. I can't help applauding Mario's good sense, chiefly because forty-year-old men who go looking for romance at seventh grade dances are commonly referred to as pedophiles.

Betheny Lunches With Her Ex.

Real Housewives of NYC: Just When You Thought You Were Over Them... Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5  |  6  |  7  |  8  |  9 

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Comments (11)

roadtripper8:

It was an unexpected surprise to turn on Bravo and see this extra clips shows... even more delightful was the fact that you recapped it, Yenta! Great job as always. Thanks for the Panama Canal tip too.

AnneM:

Dear Yenta,

I’ve been waiting to see if you would recap the clip-show and it was as usual, worth the wait. Well done indeed.

The first party scene showed us even more footage of Jill throwing a party. I’ve finally figured out why she invites Ramona to parties.

Jill likes to watch the human pinball machine (Ramona) , light up, bounce around off of furniture and people, until her eyes light-up, roll back in her head, her hair stands on end and she is rolled outside and back to her car.

No seating cards ? How hard is it ?

Let’s see, I’m hungry, the food and plates are out and there are places to sit. I pick up a plate, I get my food, I sit and eat. My dog could figure that out.

So as she bounces off the last little table and her eyes roll back in her head, she collects Mario and Avery and bounces out the door and to her car. I’m just glad she didn’t break anything.

I’m not even going to discuss the Count and Countess playing tennis. He’s a big jerk and a bully. I’m guessing the only one that misses this guy is Noel. Stay in Europe you big baby.

Now onto the good parts. Loved Jill’s comments about lingerie. Am I the only person who sees lingerie as really a gift for my husband? But Bobby redeemed himself, the watch and earrings while not my taste, were lovely gifts.

And then there’s Simon. You got this part wrong dear Yenta. You said there was “no Gay Husband. shopping for Alex’s gift”.

Simon is Alex’s gay husband. The earrings were nice but his comments about platinum were so over the top.

So Alex has platinum at home and he’s changing her over to gold to go with her expensive watch????? Platinum? Who are they kidding.

I’m guessing by platinum he means the Epiphany collection by QVC.

Seriously they go to the Caribbean in August and live in a hovel and he wants us to believe she has platinum just laying around the hovel. Please, don’t insult our intelligence.

The next clip shows Ramoana (I like spelling it that way) coming home from poor Avery’s dance and announces that the girls outnumbered the boys 2-1.

She goes to an ALL GIRL SCHOOL...So I’m guessing it’s not easy to get little 12 year old boys to go to a dance at a school they don’t attend. Besides, what girl would want to dance with the kind of boy who volunteered to go to a dance at an all girl’s school?

Dear Bethenny, why would you ever initiate going out to dinner with a happily married ex-boyfriend? Did you not see Bridget Jones Diary? Have you never watched Seinfeld? You know the one where Elaine makes up a Spanish bullfighter boyfriend named Eduardo Corrochio to try and make her happily married friends jealous???

The last thing you need is someone telling you how screwed-up and lonely you seem and how happy full of love he is. Please no more dates with the happily marrieds until you are one yourself.

Then my favorite clip of the show, “Little Frankie Goes to Art School” Apparently,running around and not behaving at all is endearing to Alex. At first I thought Frankie might have an attention deficit disorder but I was wrong. He has an attention overload disorder.

Attention overload is when you have two parents so busy climbing an imaginary ladder and doting on themselves, they have no time for limit- setting and expectations of behavior.

Alex and Simone, fire the Au Pair. She is the only one in your house that speaks fluent French and you cannot afford her. Then enroll the two monsters in any preschool that will take them and pray that someone can turn around their behavior so that they will succeed when they start grade school. Learning manners and English are the two biggest issues with your sons.

Thank you Yenta for a wonderful and enlightening trip down clip show lane. I thoroughly enjoyed it and now we know why The Countess calls that big baby she married “The Count” instead of by his name and why she doesn’t exactly cry her eyes out when he leaves for Europe.

Ahh next season awaits. By the way, I heard the women are doing a photo shoot for Bazaar. I hope that wasn’t a rumor, I would love to see what they do with Alex’s hair. Maybe just put a big old straw hat and overalls on our Kansas girl. Then black out a few teeth and let some chickens run around the set. Perfect.

'Til next season.

AnneM

MrsBojangles:

The fact the the Countess's kids had never been to the Statue of Liberty was so weird to me. You would think they'd been there a million times since it was a "gift from the family." Thanks for your insight on why that's historically not the best interpretation, I had no idea.

crt123:

thanks for the history lesson. My husband told me about the delessops when he was forced to watch the show with me :-) I had no idea, and i'm guessing a lot of others didn't either..

britskivv:

I'm amazed that your take on these clips is so close to my own reactions. Most of the "lost" footage is just more of the same, but the footage with "the Count" is truly disturbing. I can't help but wonder why the producers passed on airing it the first time around.

LindaLC:

Loved the recap! I miss this show. The best clip was Frankie going to art class. I'm surprised you didn't mention the art teacher saying, "If you had a class of 30 Francois's, it would be very challenging"!!!! I'm sure Alex will interpret this as a compliment to him somehow.

"The Count" is a disturbed man. I put his title in quotes since I doubt it has any relevance to anything in this day and age. Does he have other children? I was wondering that since he's on his fourth wife or something.

LOVED the recaps!! I hope there's a RHONYC season 2!

Linda

yentapatrol:

Hey Gasmii,

Boy do I miss the Hausenfrau ladies:)

I totally agree "The Count" is really disturbing. Thank God for Rosy.

As far as I know, Bravo has committed to a season 2 and they're probably getting ready to start filming. Anybody in NY might take a stroll by Zarin Fabrics to see if cameramen are hanging out...

AnneM: you might think about throwing your hat into the ring as a recapper : ) But if you do, you still have to leave awesome comments...

See you guys soon,
Yenta

babs:

wasn't anyone disturbed by the creepy "adoration stare" alex had on while watching francois in art class?

AnneM:

Dear Yenta,

I would love to be a recapper, what do I need to do?

I was a systems analyst, can't work anymore, back surgery made things worse.

I have nothing to do during the day except to let my dogs in and out and write letters to the editors of the papers around here.

They read one of my letters on CNN last week, I was pretty excited.

Let me know how to get into recapping, I need the diversion.

Thanks,

AnneM

PS I will always comment about shows I watch anyway, it's like being at work around the water cooler. I miss that.

yentapatrol:

Hey AnneM:

I'm sorry to hear about your back. If I were you, I'd shoot the big guy, Flipit, an e-mail and ask him. I don't know how he evaluates writers when there's no auditions going on. Just send it to staff@tvgasm.com.
Hugs,
Yenta

AnneM:

Dear Yenta,

Thank you!!!

Actually Flipit e-mailed me and told me to send him a recap and he'll take a look at it.

Now I need to pick a show.

I'll let you know what happens.

AnneM

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