Leatherface is such a f*cking bitch and that is putting it nicely. and I totally got Bethenney's point about the snub...it's like I was nothing before, but now you need me and my cameras so now you want to be all up in my face. F her! Her kids are going to be name dropping, drug addict, loose vajayjayed brats with a huge ego and sense of entitlement.

Seriously, who says on camera that they don't do charity work in the age of OBAMA?

Dear Yenta,

Those women are crazy, all of them.

First let's talk about Leather. After watching last week's show I decided to do a little homework and find out more about Leather.

So I checked and it turns out she is from Rockford Ill. Rockford Illinois? I thought she said she grew up with a lot of famous designers. I didn't realize that there was a huge fashion thing going on in Rockford. If there is they certainly hide it well.

And then I thought well maybe she met them at some fancy boarding school. It said she went to an elite private school.

It turns out the private school she attended is also in Rockford. I hardly think that Tommy Hilfiger or maybe Calvin Klein went to school in Rockford Illinois. I bet they can't even find it on a map.

Now I'm no snob, but the way Leather drops names I thought she might be from Paris or at least Greenwich, Conn. But no, she is from Rockford. No wonder she and Alex get along. Alex is from Kansas another midwest Gal.

I'm from Wisconsin, I went to a good school, I have great friends and I love living here. The only name I drop is to tell folks where I got our dogs and what vet we use. I have no need to say I know somebody famous.

And then the other thing from last week was Simon. When Alex was trying on clothes in that designers showroom, Simon said if Alex gets pregnant it wouldn't be his because he had a vasectomy. I wish I hadn't heard that.

He probably thinks it makes him more attractive to women because he can't get them pregnant. Alex probably even worries a little that he might run off with someone else. Yuck, I don't think she has anything to worry about and I really wish I didn't know about the vasectomy. But I am glad he can't reproduce anymore.

You are a gem Yenta,

Love and luck,

TVAnnie

Kelly did make even Countess LuLu look nice this week, and that is an achievement. She is unbelievable. She doesn't have time to support her own charities, but she doesn't have any? It's "cute" that Allie has arthritis? What a loon. Thank God for Bethenny - she makes this show watchable. I CAN'T WAIT to see the smackdown between those two next week.

My complaint about this season is that so many of the scenes are obviously forced so they have some footage. LuLu going to Kelly's for lunch? You know that never would have happened without Bravo forcing them to. But what is it about these NYC gals that keeps me watching? I was never interested in watching the OC women, and the Atlanta ones were just trashy, but something about this nutty group keeps me glued to the TV every Tuesday night. Sigh. I guess I'll just have to go with it and see it through!

Thanks for the great recaps!

Well, I guess Kelly isn't dull anymore. Delusional, narcissistic, and self-satisfied, but not dull!

BTW not only isn't rheumatoid arthritis "cute," it's not about "creaky joints" either. That's osteoarthritis.

I'd like to see Kelly fall off that horse a few more times.

Linda, I think it's because at least a few of these women have redeeming qualities, at least to me. Yeah, they are funny and crazy, but not as alien as the OC wives or the zany Atlanta wives.

I think it would be helpful if all the shows had at least one fairly normal, "voice of reason" type. Their reactions would be priceless and would give the viewers someone to identify with.

Yenta! I hope you didn't get too much of that delicious ice cream all over your TV. I try to eat dry goods during this show so it's easier to clean up later.

What a fucking bitch leatherface is. It really is BAD when I am liking LuLu more than this one.

The whole name dropping thing is so annoying and I really hope Bethanny sticks it to her good next week. Leather seems like one of THOSE girls. You know the ones. They always are SO much more fabulous than everyone else. Just ask them.

And being late for the meeting? R-U-D-E. That is one of my all time pet peeves. No, you weren't late because you're oh so busy, you were late because you're a rude obnoxious bitch who thinks you're better than everyone else. Crawl back into the hole you came out of.

Wow. That was harsh. Maybe I need to eat something.

Love you Yenta!
SWAK, PottyMouth

I was really surprised at Lulu's graciousness this week too. You know she had to be dying to dish about the neighborhood where Kelly has chosen to live, but she didn't. Good little Countess. She did however, manage to get in one morsel of self importance when she said she was glad she could help the designers by wearing their clothes, sitting in the front row and being photographed. She's such a giver.

Jill and Bethanny are priceless. My old roommate, also from Lawn Guyland, said braur
and the other one that cracked me up was drar-wer for drawer.

Kelly, Schmelly-ugh, what a waste of fabulous legs. (Yes I'm jealous). Hope her parents didn't fork over too much for that fancy private school. I could barely understand her mumbling when she was interviewing Jill Stuart. I can only imagine what her articles look like before her editor gets ahold of them.

And dearest Yenta, we thought spring had sprung, but alas, there was snow atop the daffodils when I awoke this morning. Looks like a comfort food day to me.

Thanks for another great one! Love, Shanti

My lord Leather is intolerable. Even when the Countess is being a semi-royal beeyotch she's not as obnoxious as that woman. And did anyone else think Leather looked really broad in that wrap dress? Lulu looked great in it, but when Leather put it on it was like watching a football player in drag. Lulu must have quite the poker face the way she was fawning over how amazing she looked.

Thank you for making me laugh yet again and calling Leatherface out for the fake, social climbing nightmare that she is. Is she really 39? She looks like she's pushing 50 with a vengence.

Who's taking bets that Kelly won't be back next season? I'll see your jellybean sundae and raise you a pitcher of long island ice teas! Here's hoping.

I'm sorry but I can't stand her. She's not even fun to hate, like Ramona or Lulu. Actually, I think that it would be wise if Bravo replaced her with someone who has more of a personality, like the dead horse in her living room. (too harsh?) Meh.

Love you and a big kiss,
Twunty

I'm so glad JillZarin got the perfect opportunity to get Ramona back for the cooking party snub. She's the best housewife of all the shows. And I really really dislike "Madonna." What is with her taking sneaky looks at the camera? She does it in just about every segment she's in. Is she making sure it's still pointed at her? All she had to do was be nice, somewhat likeable, and she could write her own ticket, but instead she has a court date and (hopefully) a pink slip from the Real Housewives.

Great job Yenta (and glad you are back with us on the dark side....).

Well, Kelly went from boring to bitch in nothing flat. Dumb bunny, too - when she was talking about all that she does and said she "writes for articles" it made me pity the person who edits for articles.

JZ's line about "wearing nothing but the necklace - but she's not Alex" was the line of the show for me. Loves me JZ! Loved how JZ tried to move the Creaky Joints meeting along - "that's ok, it's better with just us 5". It killed me when Miss Important said "I only have 15 more minutes I can spend here" and then spent 13 of those minutes going on about why she could not lend her name to the event. STFU already - I have been involved with non profits, and everyone knows what being on the committee entails.

I thought Crazy Eyes was quite restrained when drunken Simon was invading her space at the show. Personally, I would have used the pepper spray.

AnneM - great comment and agree 100% that although it was certainly TMI, I am so glad to hear there will not be any more VanKempens running around stabbing burgers.

My money is firmly on Bethenny for the smackdown - I'm loading in extra, throwable junk food for the show.

And BTW - I have now discovered that the RHONJ are actually quite close to my home! Not that I think I will run into any of these woman at the Dollar Tree...

Yenta, you make me laugh week after week - thanks for sharing your awesome wit with us! xoxoxo

njgasmifan:

Maybe you'll run into the N.J.H.W.'s at Pathway if not the Dollar Tree. Please report back if you do, that would be awesome.

Hi, I can't wait for the NJ Housewives. I just hope it's not an embarrassment. Someone asked what fruit they are going to hold up. I grew up in NJ and it seems everyone has (or used to have) a dairy up the road, so I was thinking maybe a bottle of milk. Or maybe they will have a sense of humor and hold up a can of hairspray.

The NJ accent is mostly the same as NY; the major difference is it is rhotic. "Joisey" does not exist. The schools are good so I don't foresee the grammar issues of the RHWOA.

FloOky: I was thinking they NJ wives might hold up tomatoes. Cans of hairspray would be hysterical though!

Holy hell! Count No Neck has dumped Luann! He's been having an affair with a woman in Geneva. And, just a month before her Class with the Countess book comes out. Ouch!

Yanaja: Thanks for sharing. It's good to know what you really think LOL

AnneM: Thanks for all the detective work. I so wish they had featured you instead of Kelly on the show. You wouldn't mind moving to NYC for a while, would you? That way we could spend our Tuesday nights cheering on a nice, intelligent, funny person, instead of cringing every time Leather opens her mouth. The folks in her hometown must be so proud...

LindaLC: I agree the scene with Lulu at Leather's for lunch was kind of awkward. It must be fun to be a producer on the show, kind of like being God; you and you go here, you sit there, you and you have to talk to each other...Sigh. Maybe there's a 12 step program for hausenfrau addiction that I can join?

Pixielated: Thanks for your input on Allie's arthritis. I wonder why Jill named the charity "Creaky Joints"? Maybe because that's what most people think of with arthritis? At any rate, you inspired me to look up the condition and Poor Allie...

Pottymouth: I am so switching to dry goods for tonight. Not only did I have ice cream on the TV, I had smears of doggie saliva from my dogs helpful efforts to clean the screen.

Shantigal: I'm so sorry about the snow dump. I HATE THAT. But hang on, I do think we're almost there. I can see some grass in my back yard and a few bulbs are pushing there way up through the snow. Last year one of my crazy writer friends was blaming their case of writers block on the long winter. So they defrosted their window boxes with pots of boiling water and then planted a mess of flowers just to make life a little better. This year the same friend shoveled the snow off her deck in early march and ran electrical lines out so she could sit outside with space heaters keeping herself warm and pretend that it was summer.

LAjane: A really cynical part of me keeps wondering if the producers aren't pairing Leather up with Lulu to make the audience appreciate Lulu more. I have to say intentional or not it does seem to be working.

TwuntyMcSlore: I hope you're right about Leather not being back next season, but I suspect the money will be too much of a temptation unless the producers axe her. If I'm right, I'm going for both your pitcher of Ice Teas and my jelly beans!!

FloOky: You are so right about Leather self-sabotaging. If she had just acted like a decent person, it would have been really easy to get the audience behind her. Either she wants to be hated or she really has absolutely no self-awareness. I'm not sure she's smart enough to play a villain, so I'm voting for number two.

I totally appreciate your input on the "Joisey" versus "Joyerrsey" accent. Can you suggest an appropriate phonetic spelling for the state name, before I start out offending the entire state?

Love the hairspray idea : )

Njgasmifan: OMG you so have to start staking out the RHONJ houses. I bet Flipit would give you a press badge...

I'm in Bethenny's corner as well. Seriously, I feel like I'm getting ready to watch a prize fight. Heh-heh

Hugs,
Yenta

Kit9: WHAT!?!? Where did you see this? OMG, I'm looking....

I am ready to stake out the new HW! (Flipit, call me about the press badge!) I suspect they live in some of the exclusive gated communities, but will of course report any HW sightings...and if I have to visit the Fountain Day Spa or Riverside Mall to do research, well I'll just suck it up in the name of journalism.

FloOky is right- Jersey has lots of different accents/inflections. But, there are a lot of variations. Jer-say, Joisey, Jers-zee. Depends on where you are and where the folks originated from. My personal peeve is the "aks" for ask - I do hear that more often than I'd like.

I think they will use tomatoes but I adore the hairspray idea!

Yenta, search faster - we are dying for this info on Count No-Neck!

Okay, the best sources I can find are Page Six and Gawker. Both say that Count No Neck has taken up with an Ethiopian woman in Geneva. The scoop is that she suspected something was going on and he wouldn't return her calls on the subject. Apparently, he decided breaking the news via e-mail was the way to go. I'm thinking a new chapter in the etiquette book? I'm actually feeling a little bad for the Countess. Yes, she does get to keep the title.

Njgasmifan: I so want to go to the spas with you...all in the name of research of course : )

Wow, thanks for the info Yenta and kit9. That is a lousey way to hear that your marriage is over - I do feel a bit sorry for Lulu....

Yenta darling - two eyes are better than one, so let's go!

I still think Kelly's dress is the same one worn by Veruca Salt in Charlie and the Chocolate factory or at least inspired by it, just like her 'hairstyle'. Thanks for the HILLARIOUS RECAPS!!!

c.

Dear Yenta,

I wonder how the NYC moms would get along with me? I would laugh at Alex and Simon and tell them to get their own life, instead of trying to get one from some high sociaty folks. I would also tell them that no one likes children without manners. I would tell Ramona to get longer skirts not because she doesn't look good, but because she's over 50 and it's the right thing to do. I would also ask her to get valium to keep her from bouncing off the walls so much. I'd tell Jill she's lovely and how nice she and Bobby are and I would be a good shoulder for LuLu to cry on. I would completely ignore Leather and Bethenny would be bored silly talking to me. I'm guessing she and I have nothing in common except that I think she is very funny.

I would need you and Flippit to help counteract all the craziness in the lives of our housewives.

I feel bad for the Countess. At my age, we have a lot of friends who found out that their spouses were cheating and it has ruined so many marriages and broken up families. I've been disabled for the past 3 years, I can't get around much, I can't drive and we live out in the country so when your family breaks up, it's very isolating. Even when you are surrounded by people it is isolating to lose your spouse/partner.

Maybe this explains why she is so abrasive this season and why she went off on Ramona when Ramona said the count was old. It has to be hard for her and knowing it was going on and then being on a reality show and having kids. It's going to hurt her and the kids for a long time. I think Noel was pretty close to his Dad. I think Victoria may be relieved at his departure.

Poor Luann. I hope Simon doesn't hit on her.

TVannie

Ohhh...I know we are in NY but can we go to Cali for a second? I was reading yesterday that Vicki received death threats!

ps...the Luann story is the biggest thing splashed on the front of page six!

I think that Simon was mentioning his vasectomy much for the same that reason that vasectomized men want to talk about it. Their saying hey look at me- I have so much sex, I am such a virile, hormone crazed sex god that I had to get a vasectomy to keep all uterus empty of my offspring. Once again Simon uses a sledgehammer instead of a scalpel in declaring his sexuality.

Since I can't have enough of the real housewives...brains...I need brains. I have begun to read Simon's personal blog. And yes you too can get his status updates on Facebook...brains... You think that you have seen the depth of his narcissitic delusions on the show, but nothing compares to the his blogs. Simon is a crack addict, giving head in a bathroom for another hit, but only for that one more hit- kind of delusional.

Oh but why single Simon out? Doesn't fit that everyone on the show?

Wow, Yenta, looks like the breaking news is blowing up over here! I was watching this episode last tuesday with my mouth completely open in a very unlovely yawp during the entire Arthritic Awesomeness segment, I just could NOT believe that Kelly was such an ungracious bitch, and I thought JZ handled it PERFECTLY, that was genius on her part. I'm so excited for tonight's episode to see the smackdown between Leather and Bethenny! You are an awesome writer, BTW, and I love your style!

love, J-Mo :)

njgasmifan: Isn't that an awful way to find out about a marriage breaking up--especially after 16 years. I wonder if he's going to text message his kids with the news?

Chask70: I think you might be right about the dress. Also, I realized on my doggie walk today that it's the same dress worn by Wednesday from the Adam's family. Head slap!

AnneM: I wonder if you're right about the Countess losing it this season because of stress in her marriage? Yikes!

Tillee: I saw the death threats for Vicki--I swear it wasn't me! I have to say that I'm a little suspicious that she's manufacturing drama to get her contract renewed. For what it's worth the rumor mill has it that Kelly Bensimon's smackdown of her boyfriend was manufactured for publicity/contract renewal as well.

Areyoucliff: You are too funny. There's a really funny segment/video of Simon and Alex on the TMZ site where they're both pretty plowed and he's just dreadful--but funny...

J-Mo: I feel a little bit like the grasshopper receiving praise from the master--you know wax on, wax off. Thank you so much. You and Flipit are totally my recapping idols. BTW both my husband and son have now seen your video and they're now Ms. Ebony fans...

Hugs,
Yenta

I can't believe that Vicki recieved death threats, she is so plesant, I can't imagine her upsetting anyone???? :) I had totally forgotten about Wednesday Adams wearing Kelly's dress too -that dress must be a cinematic legend!!! Re: The Countess Divorice Scandal, do you thing her book with be dis-'counted' -ba dump bump. Can'twait for tonight!!

". Their saying hey look at me- I have so much sex, I am such a virile, hormone crazed "

More likely the reasoning is that hey ladies since I cannot knock you up "why not have sex with me?" A lot of men have a belief that fear of being pregnant is what motivivates women into not having sex. Plus hey no kid no proof of adultery that would stand up in court.

" I have to say that I'm a little suspicious that she's manufacturing drama to get her contract renewed"

I don't think this suspicion is grounded in reality. There is ample history of such threats being made by fans against a character on a tv show for both fictional and real conflicts with the costars. Wheter it be a reality or fictionalized show this has happened before. If some of the stalkers hadn't been arrested the tv star would have likely been killed.

Ha, not only is Lu-Ann getting a divorce but she plans to keep her title regardless. Hahahaha that is HYSTERICAL.

"Countess Luann de Lesseps and Count de Lesseps
Divorcing - 16 Years
The 'Real Housewives of New York City' star plans to keep her title, despite the split." from PopEater.

I guess from now on she is Countless de Lesseps...

Still think it sucks that he did not have the balls to talk to her face to face or even by phone. After 16 years, a spouse deserves better.

njgasmifan, I do agree with you, regardless of how long a couple is together, this technology-age trend of breaking up via IM, Facebook, e-mail, et al., is HORRIBLE.

I don't want to say its karma for the way she has treated others in the past, but it is somewhat a possibility.... treat others the way you yourself would like to be treated. Pretty simple...

Chask70--- dis-counted... hahaha that was HILARIOUS!

It is unimaginable that a man of the Count's stature would stoop so low, but reading all these comments makes me think.....maybe he really hates her far more than we could know and has no regard for her whatsoever! wow, can you imagine?

"It is unimaginable that a man of the Count's stature would stoop so low"

Me thinks you haven't read much of the history of people with titles nor of this particular counts marriage history. He was previously married three times. Me thinks adulterly has been commited before.

Wouldn't it have to have been the countess herself who broke the story to Page Six? There's no story that anyone hacked her email account.

Since he lived full time overseas and just dropped in from time to time, there were no bombs dropped here.

I wonder if Kelly Bensimon's "imaginary boyfriend" Maximillano Palacio (she can't spell his name correctly) broke up with her via email too.