This show is ripe with material and "characters" for a funny, snarky, interesting recap. Which this wasn't.

Disappointing.

Dear MissThing;

I am truly crushed that my recap was disappointing for you. I worked hard on it, but sometimes things just don't work out.

I am impressed that you can express your views in such a supportive and helpful manner. In fact, you are clearly so witty that I would like to offer to let you recap for me next week, as it will be a very busy week for and I'd hate to go two weeks in a row without meeting your high standards.

I'll try to do better in the future,
Yenta

Once again, Yenta, you had me laughing out loud. Great recap!

As far as the possibility of a wedding in the future ... um, I'd had to put my money on odds of an upcoming Intervention. That girl has a drinking problem. I think it's pretty clear. Bethany is fun to watch, and has a lot of witty observations ... but so do a lot of drunk people I know. She always has a glazed-over, far-away yet speedy look, even when she's not drinking. I think she's malnourished and saves up her calories all day for cocktail hour. I mean, have you ever seen her actually eat anything?

When I was watching this episode and Bethany says that she went to boarding school in Miami ... I remarked out loud "Oh ho! So little match girl went to boarding school, now did she?"
Then I realized that Yenta Patrol's recaps were becoming part of watching the show for me now!

I also thought Alex was slightly more likeable in this episode. Is it possible we will find out we were all wrong about her? She was pretty composed when Bethany made that cruel comment about never chosing her for a friend. Alex just raised her eyebrows like "Wow. That's rude."

On the topic of Simon chartering a boat ... hey! they never left the dock until all their guests left? Geeze! Did they feed the guests anything besides cocktails? No wonder Bethany got smashed. She hadn't eaten all day, of course! But have some class, Simon, and feed your guests and at least take them for a quick cruise around the bay. Only the birthday girl gets dinner. Odd.

I have lots more to say on this episode/recap. Will have to post again later.

Hey, I think it's funny that Miss Thing says this episode is ripe for funny snarky comments... but then doesn't have a single one to contribute!

Mimi

I thought this was a great recap yenta! Keep up the good work!

Man if I had to hear Beth talk about the break up one more time I was going to rip my ears off my head! She didn't even make sense in all her babbling talk either.

That was so gross when Jill's dog was licking her nostrils. Blech! It amazes me how many people have dogs and don't know how to handle them. It's not rocket science.

Damn you hit the nail on the head with the MJ picture! Man I never noticed the jaws on Bethany until this episode...what is going on there?

I can't wait for the show down with Simon & Romona. It's harsh that she's so rude about him being there but then again why did Alex bring him? It is girls night after all...or maybe she mistook him as a girl????

I thought this was a great recap. It had me moon-walking and giggling at the same time.

I loved the recap.

I feel so sorry for Avery. Between Looks-Desperate-Ramona-Mommy and Please-Say-You'll-Take -Over-The-Business-Daddy, she's being forced to decide on a career when she's in the sixth grade. When I was in the sixth grade I didn't even know who I loved more David Cassidy or Bobby Sherman, much less decide on my future occupation.

And what about Ramona's outfit? It's bad enough she wore it to the dance, but how about the fact that she went to the beauty salon and out for tea dressed like a hooker. That poor kid.

Ramona says Avery's friends look up to her. That's true, she's taller than they are.

And Allie???? I love Jill, but Allie commenting on how she hopes Ginger dies? I have the feeling Allie is very, very spoiled. I too don't like talking about a young girl's weight, but she needs to get better control of her diet now before she really puts on a lot of weight.

And poor Bethenny, what luck.

She breaks up with Jason and none of that is on camera. The only thing we see is the bender she goes on, while constantly complaining about the tequila.

If you think about it, they really made her look psycho by not showing the break up scene.

Oh well, next week should be good when Desperate-Ramona gets into it with I'm-Not-Gay-Simon. My money is on Jill, she can take all of them with one hand tied behind her back.

Til next time,

Once again, great recap! And that MJ/Bethanny comparison: brilliant!

Mimi: I agree, Alex was slightly more likeable this episode -- not only was she polite when Betheny was decidedly insulting, she also seemed geniunely concerned about her (from saying something about she knew that sometimes people just have to talk, and then clearly saying something to Simon to invite her to the boat party to cheer her up). But then she made out with Simon, ruining it all for me.

I felt sad for Betheny - I understand how she feels.

Wow, I love reading your comments.

Mimi: I've have the same thoughts about Bethenny's drinking and her food intake. I'm glad somebody else out there is thinking along the same lines.

Akgirl7: I'm hoping for a real slapdown between Ramona and Simon next week as well, but it looks like the Countess might squelch it.

bmcl: I'm blushing like a schoolgirl

Anne M: Your line about the girls looking up to Ramona because she's taller made me laugh out loud.

RjFrankel: I agree the editing may have made Bethenny look crazier than she needed to look. I'm sad for her too : (

I just want to let you guys know how much it means to us struggling recappers to read your comments and see you get involved with the show. It makes it really fun.

Yenta

Yenta,
Please ignore rude and unsolicited opinions about your columns. I think that the majority of the readers here agree that your posts are both witty and humorous.
Please keep posting your hilarious recaps!

HUGE NEWS REGARDING JASON AND AVERY!!!!

Page Six from the post has an article appearing in Saturday's Post.

1. Jason, Bethenny's on-off boyfriend, was fired from his job for appearing on the show!!! This has lost him millions of dollars. He is taking legal action against his employers.

2. Avery got in trouble at school for saying "lezzbos" or "lezzies" on the episode where they are in the Hamptons. The school does not want her participation in the show to effect anyone's life in a negative manner.

I can't wait to see how their PR machine tries to make this look good.

I agree that Alex became much more likeable in this episode, in contrast with Bethenny's rudeness. She did not deserve to have Bethenny say something that rude to her on her birthday and at her birthday party, to which Bethenny was basically a pity-invite!
And the Michael Jackson thing: Spot On! Bethenny's nose has been nipped a bit too aggressively at the tip, and it's definitely not suited with the rest of her features. Yes, it's an obvious bad nose-job and I can only wonder what her real nose looked like. Kudos on the body, though.
One thing that wasn't mentioned was that even Ramona came across as likeable in this episode when she talked about financial independence and her mother with Avery. I felt for her, because she must have been through a lot watching her mother being abused and trapped. So no matter how unclassy she is and all that, I commend her for becoming a successful woman and for encouraging her daughter to be the same. The way she goes about it, however, is another story.
The Countess is just intimidating to watch, she's just such an imposing presence, in both good and bad ways, and I love how she elegantly she puts Ramona in her place in next week's episode preview. You can tell Ramona's stomach just sank after that, especially since she's desperate for the Countess's approval.

Yenta,

Aha. Maybe it is your "busy week" that contributes to an inability to consistently turn out a recap that is at the same high level of entertainment of (almost without execption) every other recapper on the site. Maybe one of them has time to sub for you this week?

Gablesgirl: for the record, Yenta does SOLICIT opinions routinely. Thus, I provided mine. I love the TVGasam site as a whole, and I am incredibly and consistently impressed by the talent/wit of almost all the recappers, almost all the time. In my opinion - based on not just this one recap - Yenta doesn't measure up to the rest. Simple as that.

Dear Miss Thing,

I really am sorry that my recaps seem to have been such a disappointment to you. And I wholeheartedly agree that the writers on this site are an extremely talented bunch.

I will continue to work to "measure up" to your standards and perhaps in the meantime you can content yourself with the other recappers.

If I ever do write a recap that you laugh at, I will consider it a great accomplishment.

Love and kisses,
Yenta

Yenta,

I literally laughed out loud while reading your recap. I never laugh out loud. So funny, so great. I was in withdrawal because TWOP shut down their Real Housewives of NYC forum, but I wouldn't have found you otherwise, and your stuff is so much better. Their recaps didn't come close. Just the right mix of affection and skewering. Perfect pitch. Thank you.

Yenta, loved the captions! I enjoy reading your observations about things i didn't catch (such as how Simon will hire a yacht but not a driver!) Also, if they live in B'lyn, they must've taken the B'lyn Battery Tunnel--that's when he had her put on that blindfold--that's a fairly long ride to Chelsea Piers. She probably looked like some sort of hostage to fellow drivers!

AnneM, thanks for the Page 6 scoop---that sux for Jason. How can his company complain, he hasn't been shown on-air THAT much?? Also, i don't think the name of his employer was mentioned, so what's the big deal? Strange.

Too lazy to scroll up, but i agree w/ the commenter above who gave credit to Ramona in ths episode---she's my least favorite of the hausfraus (luv that word, Yenta!) due to her lack of class, but her career success & the financial independence she wants to teach her daughter are commendable. If only everything else about her was! OH!! & I want to agree w/ a commenter last week who perfectly noted that Ramona's eyes have the same perpetual look of surprise that Kathie Lee Gifford does, I think you hit the nail on the head!

Yenta, i couldn't help but notice Bethanny's hotness either, she looks great (but the ruffled swim bottom, why??) as well as Allie's unflattering outfit. (The Dog Whisperer had a similar case with owner choosing dog over child, he was pretty pissed off at owner's refusal to comply with rules). Oh & thank you for pointing out how Bethanny kept babbling on proudly about not being '1 of those single, aging women in Manhattan with ticking bio. clocks'---I thot the same as you---didn't she just ask her BF of 6 mos. (6 months!!) if he'd be ready to have kids in 2 years, WTF?? Yea, you're not 1 of those women, Bets, don't worry.

Lastly, i checked out the Housewives blogs on Bravo earlier this week while i waited for my fix that is this recap--Jill seems like the nicest, down-to-earth lady. ('Come say hi if you see me on the street!')

See you next week, Yenta! (oh i meant to say last week, I hope you are OK re) near mugging :-( People sux ass! Pardonnez-moi francais. Oh & that reminds me, Bethanny said she spoke French too but couldn't say a word to Hottie St Barts hotel guy (you are right!) Maybe she dsn't remember French by the 8th Tequila?! (tee hee, i should talk, I wouldn't remember my own name by that point either!)

I still don't think Alex is very likable, if only for the fact that she married Simon. She has always been nice, but I can't get over her disgusting makeout scene on the boat. I fastforwarded through it.

I also think they edited it to make Bethany sound more annoying than she was actually being. I mean, in real life, if you break up with someone you end up having to tell lots of friends about it at different times. It was just annoying bc we saw one right after the other. I don't think she has an alcohol problem...I think she was drinking this episode to stop thinking about her break up and normally, just to have a cocktail with friends.

Jill is still by far my favorite. Gross nose thing aside, she seems really down to earth and funny.

Still like the Countess too, but I actually really liked the Count in this episode too. I thought it was funny when he told Victoria he could just ship her to Thailand (and that girl really needs to learn to eat with her mouth closed).

As far as Ramona...I could not believe she was walking around like that. No one walks around like that! I do feel bad for her as far as her mother situation, but she comments on it every single episode. And the salon that she brought the girls to is actually a chain and pretty cheap as far as NY standards. I wouldn't even comment on it, except by the captions at the bottom of the screen you would think the editors made it out to be this really fancy salon or something. I loved when Avery commented how her mom wears things even when they don't look good.

I have been a lurker here for quite some time but cannot hold back...I too was literally laughing out loud at your recap. The picture of the Pillsbury doughboy was almost too much too handle. Hysterical, Entertaining and great! I was waiting, waiting, waiting for your post and enjoyed every minute of it!

Hey Gasmii;

You guys crack me up. I love reading your observations on the show.

AnneM: Thanks for the newflash. I did some hunting and it turns out that Jason is suing for $55 mill!

Gablesgirl: Thanks for the support : )

Boris8: I have to admit that I'm struggling to see Ramona as more likeable, but reading your post made me appreciate her a little more.

Leigh: Welcome to the site! They're are some really nice people here.

Tati: Thanks for taking the time to post your thoughts. I'm in pretty good shape after the "mugging incident" (Possibly in better shape than my would be mugger, who was taken home in a patrol car) Thanks for asking.

Yankees fan: Thanks for pointing out that the salon wasn't an exclusive ultra-expensive one. I'm sure the show cuts deals with these places in exchange for publicity. It's worth keeping an eye out for the ones they try to present as exclusive, when they're not.

Tillee: I'm sorry this week I probably won't post until Saturday. But just for you, I'll work extra hard to get in as early as possible. Glad you're no longing just lurking : )

I found it very strange that Alex and Simon had dinner alone on the boat and that they served no food, but only cocktails to their guests. They may have just wanted to enjoy a romantic meal alone because it seems that they can't live without each other and have a hard time being around others. But I think its because they couldn't afford to provide food for their guest. My bet is that Alex and Simon are house poor, but try to come off as having gobs of money. I also love how they try so hard to show off how cultured they are. Right. But they did win a small place in my heart when they took care of Bethanny at the party.

This was posted on the gawker website:

9:15am, Friday,April 4- 77th street stop, 6 train. I rush down to the platform and stand next to a petite woman tapping away on her BB. Status Quo for this stop. Train arrives, and we all step in- this petite thing looks up at me,directly into my eyes and lo and behold- RAMONA!! Now, I have lived in NYC for my whole life, and have seen plenty of sightings, but none more exciting than this! She is an enigma to me. At first, there was familiarity but I didn't recognize her. When I did, I certainly did not want her to KNOW I did. Ironically, she stared deep into my eyes almost searching for recognition. You could smell the desperation. We rode together two stops and boy, did i check her out on the sly head to toe. Pointy little boots, tacky orange hued fur coat, bad highlights and mascara boogers! HOMEGIRL is just regular folk- schlepping on the 6 train with all of us- HA!

Yankeesfan: OMG, thank you so much!! The gawker quote totally stoked me for tonight!! Poor Ramona, I wonder if she'll start wearing name tags when she rides the train.

Reckless_saturn_11: I agree with you. I suspect that they're house poor as well. Apparently, they've spent the time since the show having their house worked on. Maybe, desperate to spiff it up for the second season?

See you guys, after tonight's episode. I hope it's a good one...
Yenta

These recaps are so hysterical! I love the insight into the sheer madness of it all!

Was anyone as grossed out as I was by Snarla/Poser and James Lipton tongue kissing on the yacht? That elicited a gag response in my throat..and not only did they do it once, but TWICE. Perhaps we can flash forward some 15 odd years and see "Frank" as the subject of the sequel to "The Birdcage"..they could have Simon designing wardrobes for the opera instead of choreographer at a club in South Beach.