***Note from the Editor: Please welcome our newest member of the TVgasm family and one of your auto passes from our last Auditiongasm, YentaPatrol!!
Take my face.
Bravo TV has once again decided to bring us a twisted slice of "Americana", by giving us an up close and personal look at the lives of five "Real Housewives" from New York City. The fact that none of them are housewives, or for that matter the fact that one of the woman isn't even married, must have at some point been pointed out to the person in charge of casting.
Can't you just imagine a bedraggled, unshaven and slightly tipsy, casting director waving a wine glass at Andy Cohen as he tells him, "Listen Bitch, they're women, they're rich, and they agreed to do the show." You've got to feel for the man. Outside of the Trumps there's just not that many reality fame ho's in Manhatten society. Participation on reality shows generally doesn't get covered on the high society pages. But this, my friends, ain't the society pages. Welcome to The Real Housewives of NYC.
The first of the five faux hausenfrau to be introduced to us is Ramona. In a voice over, Ramona tells us that she's "proud of being sexy" while we're shown shots of her dancing. Does anybody else remember that episode of Seinfeld where nobody has the chutzpah to tell Elaine that she can't dance?
I'm so sexy, I'm so sexy, I'm so sexy
We are introduced to Ramona's husband, Mario, with more of the same uncomfortable shots of Ramona/Elaine dancing. If this couple was in the seventy's you know that they'd be hitting every swingers club they could.
Ramona has one daughter named Avery who is clearly unimpressed with having a sex goddess wannabe for a mother. Ramona tells us that, "My husband and I raised Avery conservatively...Sometimes she wishes I would be more conservative." Well you know, if you're going to act like a stripper, it's probably not a good idea to instill too much virtue in your daughter; mixed signals and all that.
Before Mario and Ramona knew each other, they worked out at the same gym and Ramona noticed that he watched her a lot. One night happening to be at the same restaurant, Mario approached Ramona and asked, "Aren't you the girl that wears the black g-string with the green ruffle?" Ahhh, how romantic; even if the imagination boggles at the picture. Curious, I actually searched for any piece of clothing that remotely fit this description.
What do you wear on the treadmill?
By the way, Mario owns a third generation family business that makes religious articles. Angels with g-strings anyone?
Our final scene of this Ramona segment is an up close and personal look of her going for what she optimistically calls beauty "maintenance". And we thankfully leave Ramona with her telling us in a voice completely devoid of any irony, "I believe New Yorkers that live in NYC, there's a chicness about us that you don't find anywhere else in the country, and everybody aspires to be like New Yorkers."
Our next "housewife" is Jill Zarin. Jill has been married to Bobby for the last seven years. From a previous marriage she also has a teenage daughter named Allison who lives with them.
Jill explains to us that, "the Manhattan circle of society is a small circle and entrée is quite expensive." To enter it's important to donate to charities or do things like naming hospitals after yourself. Granted it's been a while since I lived in NYC, but I don't remember there being a Zarin General Hospital. However, Jill assures us that while she never wanted to live in NYC, now she's a "Manhattan socialite and she gets her picture taken in all the fancy magazines."
Husband Bobby, whom I must say seems like a definite mensch (good guy), and step-daughter Allison have a typically strained stepfamily relationship. And we're treated to shots of some of the awkwardness between them.
Jill like Ramona resides in the upper east side. As we leave Jill's world she tells us that, "Bobby and I could live anywhere in the world, but we choose to live in New York." I'm beginning to wonder if the show is supposed to be replacing the "I heart NY" and "take a bite out of the big apple" tourist slogans. It's been a while since there's been a catchy one.
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Comments (13)
Manhatten?
Spell check?
1 of 13 | Posted by spacevenus | Posted on March 6, 2008 11:21 AM
Oh Dear,
I am so mortifyed--and I lived on the lower east side for years. Clearly recapping the show made me a little meshuggana. So thank you spacevenus and please consider all references to Manhatten to really be spelled Manhattan.
YentaPatrol
2 of 13 | Posted by YentaPatrol | Posted on March 6, 2008 11:49 AM
What can I say make that mortified.
3 of 13 | Posted by YentaPatrol | Posted on March 6, 2008 11:51 AM
Ramona a MILF? Do they not see the gut on her? Maybe they meant Man! It Looks Fat...
4 of 13 | Posted by trickydick | Posted on March 6, 2008 12:46 PM
the one thing, I will say about this show, is that they are definately richer than their orange county counterparts. So far Jill looks normal, and in reality is the one that is even featured on the NY social pages. The codependent couple, came of as social climbing wannabes, being on reality TV will definately not help their cause. The countess, is bitchy, and snubby, the preview when she says if you are going to introduce me to someone like a driver, it's Mrs Lesepps not Luanna, just ludicrous. and ramona oy vey, what can I say about her and her husband, other than the swingers comment sounds appropriate. The single gal, looks like a gold digger.
Having said all that, I will still watch this train wreck.
5 of 13 | Posted by nflow | Posted on March 6, 2008 2:30 PM
Was anyone else reminded of the Griswalds shopping in France in European Vacation when Alex and Simon were shopping?
6 of 13 | Posted by Allycatt | Posted on March 6, 2008 4:04 PM
Oh, Yenta, you are funny!
I was going to rag on your spelling of meshuggana (it's technically meshugener or meshuggener), but I googled it, and it's an acceptable spelling.
Yes, that's right. I don't feel like working. Have a great weekend!
7 of 13 | Posted by spacevenus | Posted on March 7, 2008 9:14 AM
This show is an affront to all that is good and decent in the world, but I'm going to watch it anyway just so I can read the recaps. Hope I don't gag to death!
8 of 13 | Posted by FreeSpirit | Posted on March 10, 2008 8:08 AM
I must say I cringed when I saw they were spinning off my favorite guilty pleasure, The REAL Housewives of Orange County; however, this show is a MUST SEE. What it's lacking in silicone and Sky Tops, it makes up with blatant social climbing,snobbery that would make a character in a Wharton novel blush, and positioning most marketing executives should take note of. I hope the recaps keep coming. I love them!!! I only wish more would have been written about the OC Housewives. These women make the Housewives of Orange County almost seem earthy and real -note I said 'almost'. Great Recap, and is it just me but a Countess named Luann? Good call on the social climbers!!!!! "like characters out of an Agatha Christie mystery" :)
9 of 13 | Posted by chask70 | Posted on March 19, 2008 6:13 AM
Just watched Real Housewives NYC for the first time last night. Had Tivo’d it but never sat down and watched it. Only had the last 2 episodes recorded so am really out of the loop. I was so blown away that as soon as I could this morning, I went looking for a someplace on the net to find out, what on earth, others were thinking about these women! Yenta, absolutely loved your recap and comments!! - couldn’t wait to register for the forum.
My particular fascination is with Alex/Simon. I am still reeling from their unabashed shallowness! They are living in a self absorbed fantasyland trying to fool themselves and others. I have met a lot of shallow people in my life but none so stupid as to let the whole country in to observe firsthand! Do they really think their fraud will go unnoticed? Not only, is it blatantly obvious that they are climbers but, they are the epitome of near do wells”. They seem so very self important for no reason that I can see – and how are they financing this? One of the other wives was spot on when she pointed out that Alex/Simon vacationed in St. Barths, as if they were part of the society crowd, but were actually there “off season”. Why, if all the trappings are so very important to them (i.e. clothes, status, vacation spots, private schools, etc.) would they be caught dead living in such a shamble of a house?!! - and without any apology/excuse. Don’t they realize that if they are trying to “play that game” one of the most important “trappings” of the crowd they want to run with is their home/address. I thought Bethany was kind to overlook their fraud – though I wonder if she won’t expose them to the others next week. Can’t wait to see!! Also, can’t wait for re-runs to see how this all began!
10 of 13 | Posted by tivofan | Posted on April 10, 2008 10:05 AM
I am originally from NY, live in the DC area now. Love this show, knew people like that, wow pretentious or what!!!!! Ramona is a piece of work and so is Alex. I like Jill, I think for the most part she is very real, but the countess, although she is pretty fair for the most part is a little plastic sometimes. Betheny is beautiful and although has issues, is fun to watch. The one that irks me most is Alex, just the fact that her and her husband are constantly trying to go up the social ladder is pretty sad.
11 of 13 | Posted by irishgal | Posted on April 14, 2008 11:24 AM
I am originally from NY, live in the DC area now. Love this show, knew people like that, wow pretentious or what!!!!! Ramona is a piece of work and so is Alex. I like Jill, I think for the most part she is very real, but the countess, although she is pretty fair for the most part is a little plastic sometimes. Betheny is beautiful and although has issues, is fun to watch. The one that irks me most is Alex, just the fact that her and her husband are constantly trying to go up the social ladder is pretty sad.
12 of 13 | Posted by irishgal | Posted on April 14, 2008 11:25 AM
I am originally from NY, live in the DC area now. Love this show, knew people like that, wow pretentious or what!!!!! Ramona is a piece of work and so is Alex. I like Jill, I think for the most part she is very real, but the countess, although she is pretty fair for the most part is a little plastic sometimes. Betheny is beautiful and although has issues, is fun to watch. The one that irks me most is Alex, just the fact that her and her husband are constantly trying to go up the social ladder is pretty sad.
13 of 13 | Posted by irishgal | Posted on April 14, 2008 11:25 AM