Simon and Alex are hopeful that their three year old son, Francois, will suddenly start spouting fluent French; after all they are paying mega bucks for a French au pair to live with them while they speak English at home. Alex tells us, "I expect Francois to move from speaking English here to speaking French at Saint Barts." This is followed by shots of them trying to speak to the kid in French, which is clearly not working. Now it sounds like Simon may actually speak French, but I'm having some doubts that Alex actually knows anymore than a few well-rehearsed pigeon phrases.
There are some attempts to get Francois to order juice and say the word for apple in French. Finally, Simon whispers "pomme" in Francois's ear. "Pomme" Francois tells his mother. Alex nods happily, her kid spoke French. "Deux pomme jus?" she asks him then oddly follows up with a random "Je ne sais pas." Which makes no sense, but what the hay, Francois happily says "yeah" and off they go. While Alex's voice over explains that they completely embrace the culture.
Back in the Hamptons, Ramona and her friends are hanging out by the pool when Mario joins them saying "I want some action." This innocuous statement leads to a conversation about who taught Ramona to pole dance and who dances more like a stripper. Apparently, Ramona is suddenly offended by a friends comment. They have a little tussle that cumulates with her friend pushing Ramona into the pool and jumping in after her. By way of revenge Ramona decides to throw her friend's little dog into the pool. I have to say that Ramona's daughter Avery is the only one yelling no at this point. I also have to say that Ramona is nuts. You don't terrorize another person's dog. Embarrassed once again by her mother Avery tells the camera, "Sometimes they just get a bit too carried away. Like they'll do silly ridiculous things that are unnecessary."
Ramona and her friend kiss and make up. Avery objects to their kissing and mutters, "We've got lesbos in the house." Okay, I feel for this kid, but somebody's got to tell her that this is not a cool point of view. When her mother along with two of her friends happily identify themselves as MILF's, it's too much for Avery who storms off leaving her mother to wonder why her daughter is judging her. Remember, you raised her conservatively. Not a good idea if you're planning on pole dancing and embracing MILFdom.
Alex and Simon go shopping. Their goal is to get a dress for opening night at the opera. The owner of the boutique opens up bottle of champagne and says they needed to stay until champagne is all drunk. Hmmm, I wonder if Wal-Mart could try this. Simon figures that this will take 3-4 hours, which he says is the length of a standard shopping trip. He also tells us that, "I'm blessed to have a wife, who's blessed to have a model figure and she looks awesome in everything she puts on." For her part, Alex can't imagine shopping without Simon. In fact, they're each others stylists. They end up buying twenty-three different pieces and spending around $25,000. I'm telling you, all Wal-Mart has to do is start cracking open the champagne and profits would soar.
Meanwhile, the Countess B**tch has decided to start off their time at the Hamptons by buying their ten year-old son a dog. They decide to name the dog "Astin" because the Count wants to have two dogs and name the second Martin, after which he will buy an Astin Martin.
Being a responsible mom, the Countess B**tch has called a family meeting to make sure that everybody understands that they will all be responsible for Astin, "but" she adds brightly, "of course Roseanna is going to take a little bit more of a hit than we will, unfortunately for her."
Hey, Roseanna can clean it
Roseanna's expression as she views the dog is priceless.
The son tells us that his mom's last dog wasn't fully potty trained and Roseanna had to clean up after it. This is followed by Roseanna acknowledging that the family will probably be tired of the dog after a week and she will have to do everything. Will some kind person out there please give Roseanna a nice job where she isn't expected to clean up the urine and feces from a dog that the owner got on a whim and neither bothered to train nor take responsibility for.
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Comments (13)
Manhatten?
Spell check?
1 of 13 | Posted by spacevenus | Posted on March 6, 2008 11:21 AM
Oh Dear,
I am so mortifyed--and I lived on the lower east side for years. Clearly recapping the show made me a little meshuggana. So thank you spacevenus and please consider all references to Manhatten to really be spelled Manhattan.
YentaPatrol
2 of 13 | Posted by YentaPatrol | Posted on March 6, 2008 11:49 AM
What can I say make that mortified.
3 of 13 | Posted by YentaPatrol | Posted on March 6, 2008 11:51 AM
Ramona a MILF? Do they not see the gut on her? Maybe they meant Man! It Looks Fat...
4 of 13 | Posted by trickydick | Posted on March 6, 2008 12:46 PM
the one thing, I will say about this show, is that they are definately richer than their orange county counterparts. So far Jill looks normal, and in reality is the one that is even featured on the NY social pages. The codependent couple, came of as social climbing wannabes, being on reality TV will definately not help their cause. The countess, is bitchy, and snubby, the preview when she says if you are going to introduce me to someone like a driver, it's Mrs Lesepps not Luanna, just ludicrous. and ramona oy vey, what can I say about her and her husband, other than the swingers comment sounds appropriate. The single gal, looks like a gold digger.
Having said all that, I will still watch this train wreck.
5 of 13 | Posted by nflow | Posted on March 6, 2008 2:30 PM
Was anyone else reminded of the Griswalds shopping in France in European Vacation when Alex and Simon were shopping?
6 of 13 | Posted by Allycatt | Posted on March 6, 2008 4:04 PM
Oh, Yenta, you are funny!
I was going to rag on your spelling of meshuggana (it's technically meshugener or meshuggener), but I googled it, and it's an acceptable spelling.
Yes, that's right. I don't feel like working. Have a great weekend!
7 of 13 | Posted by spacevenus | Posted on March 7, 2008 9:14 AM
This show is an affront to all that is good and decent in the world, but I'm going to watch it anyway just so I can read the recaps. Hope I don't gag to death!
8 of 13 | Posted by FreeSpirit | Posted on March 10, 2008 8:08 AM
I must say I cringed when I saw they were spinning off my favorite guilty pleasure, The REAL Housewives of Orange County; however, this show is a MUST SEE. What it's lacking in silicone and Sky Tops, it makes up with blatant social climbing,snobbery that would make a character in a Wharton novel blush, and positioning most marketing executives should take note of. I hope the recaps keep coming. I love them!!! I only wish more would have been written about the OC Housewives. These women make the Housewives of Orange County almost seem earthy and real -note I said 'almost'. Great Recap, and is it just me but a Countess named Luann? Good call on the social climbers!!!!! "like characters out of an Agatha Christie mystery" :)
9 of 13 | Posted by chask70 | Posted on March 19, 2008 6:13 AM
Just watched Real Housewives NYC for the first time last night. Had Tivo’d it but never sat down and watched it. Only had the last 2 episodes recorded so am really out of the loop. I was so blown away that as soon as I could this morning, I went looking for a someplace on the net to find out, what on earth, others were thinking about these women! Yenta, absolutely loved your recap and comments!! - couldn’t wait to register for the forum.
My particular fascination is with Alex/Simon. I am still reeling from their unabashed shallowness! They are living in a self absorbed fantasyland trying to fool themselves and others. I have met a lot of shallow people in my life but none so stupid as to let the whole country in to observe firsthand! Do they really think their fraud will go unnoticed? Not only, is it blatantly obvious that they are climbers but, they are the epitome of near do wells”. They seem so very self important for no reason that I can see – and how are they financing this? One of the other wives was spot on when she pointed out that Alex/Simon vacationed in St. Barths, as if they were part of the society crowd, but were actually there “off season”. Why, if all the trappings are so very important to them (i.e. clothes, status, vacation spots, private schools, etc.) would they be caught dead living in such a shamble of a house?!! - and without any apology/excuse. Don’t they realize that if they are trying to “play that game” one of the most important “trappings” of the crowd they want to run with is their home/address. I thought Bethany was kind to overlook their fraud – though I wonder if she won’t expose them to the others next week. Can’t wait to see!! Also, can’t wait for re-runs to see how this all began!
10 of 13 | Posted by tivofan | Posted on April 10, 2008 10:05 AM
I am originally from NY, live in the DC area now. Love this show, knew people like that, wow pretentious or what!!!!! Ramona is a piece of work and so is Alex. I like Jill, I think for the most part she is very real, but the countess, although she is pretty fair for the most part is a little plastic sometimes. Betheny is beautiful and although has issues, is fun to watch. The one that irks me most is Alex, just the fact that her and her husband are constantly trying to go up the social ladder is pretty sad.
11 of 13 | Posted by irishgal | Posted on April 14, 2008 11:24 AM
I am originally from NY, live in the DC area now. Love this show, knew people like that, wow pretentious or what!!!!! Ramona is a piece of work and so is Alex. I like Jill, I think for the most part she is very real, but the countess, although she is pretty fair for the most part is a little plastic sometimes. Betheny is beautiful and although has issues, is fun to watch. The one that irks me most is Alex, just the fact that her and her husband are constantly trying to go up the social ladder is pretty sad.
12 of 13 | Posted by irishgal | Posted on April 14, 2008 11:25 AM
I am originally from NY, live in the DC area now. Love this show, knew people like that, wow pretentious or what!!!!! Ramona is a piece of work and so is Alex. I like Jill, I think for the most part she is very real, but the countess, although she is pretty fair for the most part is a little plastic sometimes. Betheny is beautiful and although has issues, is fun to watch. The one that irks me most is Alex, just the fact that her and her husband are constantly trying to go up the social ladder is pretty sad.
13 of 13 | Posted by irishgal | Posted on April 14, 2008 11:25 AM