Dear Yenta,

Just like the end of a great movie, I paused reading your recap, so I could thoroughly enjoy it. I was laughing out loud. Great job as usual.

Alex was all shiny new on the reunion. It looks like someone spent time to fix that mane she calls hair and it looked really good.

Well, let’s get to the good stuff.

Our dear Jill looked great in her Team Jill t-shirt and jacket. It’s a nice look for her. Young but not embarrassing and as usual her hair and make-up were flawless. I think she ‘s pretty honest, she should own up to marching out of the Luca-Luca show, but if that’s the worst thing she did, she’s a peach.

The Countess also looked good. I like her. I know that she’s not a huge deal like the Queen of England or anything. But she seems nice enough and her kids behave pretty well. Our kids used to beg us not to go out too and I begged my Mom and Dad not to go out too. Most kids do this if their parents are getting dressed to go somewhere. They want to come with because they don’t want you to have fun without them.

Bethenny is hilarious. I sent an e-mail to her blog and told her that her talents are wasted on cooking. She should have a big movie deal. She is beautiful, quick witted and sympathetic. What a great combination. As an added plus she is also brutally honest.

Which brings us to RaMOANa. Let’s see, a sick family member, a previous engagement, a bad day at work. Next week her excuse will be that the little voices in her head were due back on the Space Shuttle so she had to fly to Houston.

I’ve learned a thing or two the older I get. One of them is “you can’t pray a lie” It’s from Huckleberry Finn, written by Mark Twain. I’m sorry to say that Mark Twain is not a friend of my Dad’s but I read Huck Finn and I’ve used that line most of my adult life. Lying requires much more effort than I’m willing to waste on it. I tell the truth. I admit when I’m wrong and I apologize to people if I’ve done something I shouldn’t. It’s not rocket science, it’s just common courtesy.

And then there’s Alex. I’ve decided that Alex really should have a title. Perhaps Queen of Denial? sorry, Simon has a lock on that one. Where to start , there are so many things.

So they laugh at themselves, they were just acting, they don’t want to climb the social ladder, they really have good friends, their house isn’t a wreck and her hair always look perfect and there is peace on Earth.

Alex is the worst kind of acquaintance. She lied to everybody. If she and Simon were in fact just acting a part for the benefit of the show, that means she lied to all of the other women.

I guess when Jill mentioned knowing the owner of that private school, Alex was only pretending to drool and Simon was just pretending to get all squirmy like I get when the waitress is bringing desert. Boy, good acting. Perhaps they should just audition for the Opera that they love so much or maybe they could put on a show. Just like in the old Our Gang reruns,, . They can put on a show and raise money to restore their castle and drive back the invading hordes of bad people from Europia that stole their money and title.

And when they take back the castle, there will be peace and Simon will turn back into a horse and Alex will give him to Bethenny so she can ride home to visit her father in Kentucky.

The End.

I can write fairytales almost as well as Alex and I'm not even drugged!!

Thanks for the laughs Yenta. Don't be a stranger.

AnneM

This is Jill Zarin. i think this is the funniest site I have seen...BRAVO..( no pun intended). I want to answer some question you posed...
Charity...how many people on TV SHOWS give anything to charity from merchandise?
I did the shirts on www.jillzarin.com because fans asked me to and did it for fun. I have to pay BRAVO and their FULLFILLMENT company almost 1/3 of price and I have to pay for merchandise. Plus sets ups, minimums, shipping, design. I won't make any money if we don't sell most of them but i did it for the fans and charity.
DON'T BE MEAN.
Anyway...loved reading this. I am looking forward to quiet time now...
TEAM JILL

Hey There;

AnneM: I'm looking forward to reading your wonderful comments on the next season. Thanks for all of the smiles.

JillZarin: I humbly apologize for being mean, it kind of goes with the job, but for the most part I try to do it with some love. Your t-shirts are a mitzvah and as an act of repentance I will immediately order a bunch for my family.

Hugs,
Yenta

Oh where oh where do I start? Those spastic wild flailing arm gestures are the first thing I have comment on. Ramona was out of control! I did think, wow, that woman is bipolor or manic or something.

C'mon now. Do you think that was really Jill replying? Well, I don't blame her for defending herself if it was really her. I know 10% doesn't sound like much, but after being a retailer myself for a few years ... I learned a tough lesson: it's really hard to make worthwhile profit. Every where you turn someone is taking a cut of your measly markup, including the credit cards, shipping it in & out. Packaging. It's depressing! But did anyone else think that Tshirt looked a lot like Ramona's True Faith designs? I wondered if Jill did that just to piss Ramona off!? I mean, I doubt Ramona can copyright the cross or a fluer de lis (or whatever the heck that emblem is).

If that was Jill: here's one more suck-up comment meant for you to read: I thought the show where Allison and Jill are doing the dog training at LuAnn's house... I thought it was a revealing view of how pretty Allison is. She looked gorgeous in some of the close up shots. Kinda exotic looking. I was surprised no one commented on it here.

Okay ... let's get to Alex! This just cracked me up when Alex and Simon were defending the nude photos. And they kept insisting "They were from TWO YEARS AGO!" ... as if 2 years is a lifetime ago. C'mon! They were so incredulous that anyone thought it had anything to do with who they were now. I guess they change identities every few years. Two years ago she was a jet setting model. Last year they were Eurotrash, this year NYC socalites, in a few years maybe they'll join the peace corps.

Two years ago doesn't constitute your distant past when you were "young and foolish." What a lame excuse.

Ramona's disdain at such raunchy behavior was really ridiculous. I do agree she was just irritated that someone else might have challenged her position as the "sexy one."

Well, hey, great recap Yenta. I'm sorry to see the recaps end. I will have to start watching some other show just so I can read your recaps of it! Thanks a lot. I've really enjoyed your wit.

Mimi

Oh where oh where do I start? Those spastic wild flailing arm gestures are the first thing I have comment on. Ramona was out of control! I did think, wow, that woman is bipolor or manic or something.

C'mon now. Do you think that was really Jill replying? Well, I don't blame her for defending herself if it was really her. I know 10% doesn't sound like much, but after being a retailer myself for a few years ... I learned a tough lesson: it's really hard to make worthwhile profit. Every where you turn someone is taking a cut of your measly markup, including the credit cards, shipping it in & out. Packaging. It's depressing! But did anyone else think that Tshirt looked a lot like Ramona's True Faith designs? I wondered if Jill did that just to piss Ramona off!? I mean, I doubt Ramona can copyright the cross or a fluer de lis (or whatever the heck that emblem is).

If that was Jill: here's one more suck-up comment meant for you to read: I thought the show where Allison and Jill are doing the dog training at LuAnn's house... I thought it was a revealing view of how pretty Allison is. She looked gorgeous in some of the close up shots. Kinda exotic looking. I was surprised no one commented on it here.

Okay ... let's get to Alex! This just cracked me up when Alex and Simon were defending the nude photos. And they kept insisting "They were from TWO YEARS AGO!" ... as if 2 years is a lifetime ago. C'mon! They were so incredulous that anyone thought it had anything to do with who they were now. I guess they change identities every few years. Two years ago she was a jet setting model. Last year they were Eurotrash, this year NYC socalites, in a few years maybe they'll join the peace corps.

Two years ago doesn't constitute your distant past when you were "young and foolish." What a lame excuse.

Ramona's disdain at such raunchy behavior was really ridiculous. I do agree she was just irritated that someone else might have challenged her position as the "sexy one."

Well, hey, great recap Yenta. I'm sorry to see them end. I will have to start watching some other show just so I can read your take on it! Thanks a lot. I've really enjoyed your wit.

Mimi

Oh Yenta, what a fun ride it's been! Is it really over? Why the hell did Bravo only film 7 episodes for this show anyway??! I greatly enjoyed your recap but I'm a bit bummed that it'll be a while before you can expertly dish on these ladies again!

I agree with your observations, especially those about Alex, what LEVEL of denial is she (& Simon for that matter) at?? She wrote the same exact thing on her blog, about 'a wise woman once said...' (except in her blog she said it was her dad's friend) and went on in the same vein about contradictions & loopy double-talk. I've lost even more respect for these two cornflakes after this episode---like Bethenny said, why not just own who they are? All that nonsense about Francois speaking Latin, that was just a stupid people trick? What stupid people is she referring to anyway, Bethenny & LuAnn, as the ones she told this nonsense to? So strange. At least her hair looked surprisingly nicer than it did all season. And tee-hee, Simon did look an international spy in his get-up, didn't he? Apparently, the other women were surprised that he showed up, since only the women were invited to the reunion, & that is why Jill kept asking why he was there (which he never answered!)

Still love Bethenny and Jill the best. I like LuAnn but the footage of her and Bethenny's driver still bothers me a bit (she wouldn't even shake his hand when he held out to her! and the bit about how he should be introduced to her the way children are still turns my stomach. I'd love to see her up in the Bronx with that infinite group of 'children'!)

As for Ramona, she went out of her way to prove that she lives in her own bug-eyed planet with a wacked-out set of rules. I am convinced there is a 13 y.o. (with A.D.D, no less) living inside of her, like you said. I couldn't believe how she claimed to be so bored when the discussion turned to Alex, and then stormed out during talk of Alex's photos (which I've seen, BTW--WOW--As tacky as her St. Bart outfits! Not the ones celebrating her post-pregnancy, the other ones, ouch.) I'm glad Simon pointed out Ramona’s hypocrisy--how are Alex's photos so over-the-top, yet Ramona's own behavior, kissing her friend at the pool, in front of her own mortified child OK?? I couldn't stand how she kept coming up with a million excuses for her poor behavior at Jill's dinner, and ended up refusing to apologize. Classy. Big set of balls, that one.

Yenta, thank you for entertaining me with this silly show this season. You pointed out everything that I notice (like about Andy Cohen--he is SO not a host! I think he's the president of Bravo, right? Figures.) xoxo, Tati

Oh Yenta, what a fun ride it's been! Is it really over? Why the hell did Bravo only film 7 episodes for this show anyway??! I greatly enjoyed your recap but I'm a bit bummed that it'll be a while before you can expertly dish on these ladies again!

I agree with your observations, especially those about Alex, what LEVEL of denial is she (& Simon for that matter) at?? She wrote the same exact thing on her blog, about 'a wise woman once said...' (except in her blog she said it was her dad's friend) and went on in the same vein about contradictions & loopy double-talk. I've lost even more respect for these two cornflakes after this episode---like Bethenny said, why not just own who they are? All that nonsense about Francois speaking Latin, that was just a stupid people trick? What stupid people is she referring to anyway, Bethenny & LuAnn, as the ones she told this nonsense to? So strange. At least her hair looked surprisingly nicer than it did all season. And tee-hee, Simon did look an international spy in his get-up, didn't he? Apparently, the other women were surprised that he showed up, since only the women were invited to the reunion, & that is why Jill kept asking why he was there (which he never answered!)

Still love Bethenny and Jill the best. I like LuAnn but the footage of her and Bethenny's driver still bothers me a bit (she wouldn't even shake his hand when he held out to her! and the bit about how he should be introduced to her the way children are still turns my stomach. I'd love to see her up in the Bronx with that infinite group of 'children'!)

As for Ramona, she went out of her way to prove that she lives in her own bug-eyed planet with a wacked-out set of rules. I am convinced there is a 13 y.o. (with A.D.D, no less) living inside of her, like you said. I couldn't believe how she claimed to be so bored when the discussion turned to Alex, and then stormed out during talk of Alex's photos (which I've seen, BTW--WOW--As tacky as her St. Bart outfits! Not the ones celebrating her post-pregnancy, the other ones, ouch.) I'm glad Simon pointed out Ramona’s hypocrisy--how are Alex's photos so over-the-top, yet Ramona's own behavior, kissing her friend at the pool, in front of her own mortified child OK?? I couldn't stand how she kept coming up with a million excuses for her poor behavior at Jill's dinner, and ended up refusing to apologize. Classy. Big set of balls, that one.

Yenta, thank you for entertaining me with this silly show this season. You pointed out everything that I notice (like about Andy Cohen--he is SO not a host! I think he's the president of Bravo, right? Figures.) xoxo, Tati

Shoot. I didn't mean to post that twice. Sorry.

Well here's some more of where that came from:

Yenta, that line about "pulling hair and bitch slapping each other around the Russian Tea Room." .. OMG, that was so damn funny!

What DTM DTM mean? Oh ... it just occurred to me. Dyed to match? That's a bad thing, I guess. Michael Kors does not approve, I take it?

Well, I'm going to go re-watch this and see if Alex looks loopy to me. I thought she just seemed like she decided to pretend to be above it all. Because she knew there was no other way to defend her embarrassing statements.

It's just hair ... indeed!

$@^&*!! Sorry y'all hadda read my diatribe twice, problem posting. Just wanted to add that if that's really Jill Z up there (doubt it, since when, all this time & no other peeps? maybe had to wait til show was over?) I don't think Yenta was being mean with the comment about the 10% donation, I can see where she's coming from, I thought the same thing, 10%, that doesn't seem like very much, does it? But thanks, Mimi, for pointing out how the retail industry works and how everyone takes from your product so that 10% is actually a fair amount. And yea, Jill's shirt did have a theme that looked reminiscent of Bug-Eyes designs, HA! sucker.

Thanks, Yenta. Another fine piece of satire.

Wow, what a reunion! I haven't seen that much mental illness since...well...since the previous episode.

While I'm no clinician, I'm going out on a limb here and say that both Ramona and Simelax are prominently featured in your nearest DSM-IV.

Simelax' fortress of delusions and rationalizations is impenetrable; Ramona indeed appears to be tormented by a conference of tiny elves or that live in her head.

If there is a Season II, the failure of Ramona and Simelax to return would be clear proof of a loving and merciful God.

Agree with all the comments on here..fantastic recap.

I just have to say how happy I was that the screen grab of Ramona hoisting herself off the couch made it to the recap!!!! As soon as I saw this super graceful move I spent the better part of 10 minutes replaying it for my personal viewing pleasure.

What a hypocrite....this actually provides a visual of the contradiction that is Ramona.

As she is showing her total disgust with nude photos she provides us all with a grandpa inspired spread eagle move off the sofa. Ramona IS class personified. Thanks for reminding us why we should be so upset by the human body.

ARRGGHH...she is the technical virgin who does everything but and then claims chastity. What a joke.

Now, I am ashamed to say this and I know all of you will think I'm crazy but...I like Alex and Simon! AAAHHH. However, just like you all, on the first one or two episodes the sight of them made me cringe, but as the season went on, I learned to respect them.

The one thing I respect and admire about them the most is their marriage. Yeah, so they're a little codependent but they have each others backs and they are on the same wavelength and without a doubt are very much in love. Throughout the season I always loved how they handled themselves when people would "attack" them. When Ramona had her schizophrenic hissy-fit at the dinner party, they didn't make a big scene in return. They just continued what they were doing and enjoyed themselves. When Bethany was being selfish and bitchy at Alex's boat birthday party, and she made the snide remark about how she would never had seeked out Alex as a friend, Alex just rolled her eyes. I'm sure Alex and Simon have not forgotten those things and do remember that these women are not their good friends, which is why, I would imagine, she takes what they say with a grain of salt.

Don't get me wrong, however, Alex and Simon are incredibly pretentious, and should definitley turn that down a notch. But, their social climbing isn't a new thing in society. Every woman/man who wasn't born into "society," who is now apart of it has done it one way or another. Whether it was marrying a Count, and receiving a stupid title or marrying a wealthy man who owns family buisnesses and being very sociable and a "connector". And lets not forget, in the begining of the season, Ramona is the one that was trying so desperately to be friends with the Countess.

I also didn't understand the harping on Alex and Simon about their house. I would have been very offended if someone questioned the health of my children based off of living conditions they only saw on tv. I think their the other ladies opinions about that showed how stuck up these women can be. I highly doubt Simon and Alex would put their children in danger.

Also, Ramona is insane. By leaving when they talked about Alex's nude photos, she made the whole scene about herself. If she would have sat there quietly no one would have even thought about her. What a drama queen.

Also, LuAnn tried to make sense of her actions with the limo driver, but it didn't help. That man was not a child and should not be expected to act like one. She is not famous, and titles mean nothing in the US, if she hadn't told anyone she was a "Countess" no one would have known, or cared. That man does not give a damn about your position, he just wants to get paid. Get off your high horse LuAnn.

Sorry so long.

Yenta- thank you for all of the great recaps! I can't wait for more NYC Housewives and anything else you can give us!

I don't know if we were graced with the presence of the real JillZarin or not but I do love her so! I think she owned up to the Luca Luca show when she said she really didn't want to be there and didn't get the seats she wanted.

Just please, keep that doggy away from your nose.

I think I need to watch it again- Never crossed my mind Alex was taking happy pills on the reunion show but I was distracted with her hair looking pretty for once. I thought she and Simon showed great restraint considering all of the criticism thrown their way. But Bethany was right- just own it, own it all- you want to be pretentious socialites, that is your right. But be honest, please.

Ramona, Ramona, Ramona... please someone tell me how Mario puts up with her? I don't get it at all. I bet the other housewives are PISSED she is on the show (for an entertaining dose of crazy) and they have to put up with her. How does her poor husband do it? She gives new meaning to Batshit Crazy.

I can’t wait to see if these ladies change next season once they’ve watched themselves and see how others view them. I think JillZarin and Bethany will be the same. Notsosure on the others.

First of all, thanks Yenta for recapping this show. You did a fab job and I can't wait for season 2.

I personally like all the housewives, except for Ramona. The other four def have their bad sides (some have more "bad" than others). But they're flawed just like the rest of us. At the end of the day, I think B, J, L and A really are sweet people.

Now for Ramona. To her credit, she does seem like a devoted mom. You can tell that nothing in the world is more important to her than Avery. She is very proud of her daughter. And she is dead on about how no one in the world should put them in a position of being dependent on another. Make your own way in life. That being said, Ramona is just straight up mean and rude. At least if she's going to be a bitch, own it-instead, she deflects everything she's done onto everyone and everything around her. And the whole dinner party ordeal-geesh. And to this day, she gives a different excuse for her behavior every time shes confroted about it-first it was she was upset about not getting her girls night, then it was a bad day at the office, then it was she had other plans, then its a sick family member. I mean dayum. Anyway, she's a trip and I can't wait to watch her bring the crazy next season.

One last thing, Alex's comment about "a wise women once said if you find yourself in a condradiction, check your premises..." Well, the wise woman was Ayn Rand. The book was Atlas Shrugged. And I have no idea why Alex felt it like she needed to quote it. The only thing I can think was that in prep for the reunion, she was had rebuttles prepared but those little pills mucked things up for her.

Anyway, great job!!

"Because you didn't tell me that Simon was coming. If you had told me that Simon was coming, I would have come to the dinner party. You invite me as a guest, you should tell me who's going to be there. You told me, 'girls night'."

I keep reading this over and over again just trying to make sense of it all. But my ears are starting to bleed, so I just have to get along with my day. I salute YentaPatrol for having the were with all to listen closely enough to Ramona to be able to quote her word for word.

Ugh. Enough with Simon and Alex. Delusional party of two, delusional party of two. But they would only like to sit next people that can help their social status. Did they even listen to what was coming out of their mouth? They had an excuse for everything that was thrown at them. My favorite scene with them was when they where at the opera. How they missed everyone because they were late and would catch people at dinner. To me it just looked like they were super uncomfortable and looking for someone to dive bomb to tell them how wonderful Simon and Alex are.

Great recaps. Hope to see you are the gasm.

Great recap Yenta! I don't think I've ever laughed this much reading a recap before! The reunion show was fantastic and gave you so much good stuff to work with! You did awesome with it!

Your description of Ramona and all the voices in her head was hilarious! "I'm guessing that one of Ramona's voices is about thirteen years old and has just gone into her room and slammed the door. Maybe it will be a bit quieter in Ramona's head for a little while." LMAO!!!! That was a perfect description. And thank you for the screengrab of her "elegantly" getting up off the couch. I giggled with delight when she did that. Poor Avery must be just mortified!

I thought Bethenny was a very rude bitch at the reunion. The way she laid into Alex and Simon was uncalled for in my opinion. I agree with MrsBojangles that they handled themselves very well when being "attacked" by everyone.

I love Jill and LuAnn. I think they are both great.

I look forward to reading more of your work Yenta!

Hello Yenta,

I only wish that I had found this site during the RHONY run. It's positively better than watching the show. You and I are on the same wavelength!!!
BRAVO (PUN Intended)

No doubt about it, this recap is much better than watching the show. Great job Yenta.

Kudos to Bethanny for speaking the truth. Simon and Alex are all show and no go. Throughout the whole season they were going to this event b/c it could help them and then trashing that event b/c it wasn't "important" enough. They were concerned with doing things that would rise their social status and meanwhile, they are living in a fall-apart house in Brooklyn. The only reason they invited Bethanny to their house was b/c they deemed her to be not that important of a person, socially. They'd never invite the Countess, Jill or even Ramona to see that mess.

Early in the season Bethanny talked about how you could be a fraud living in NYC. You could live in a studio apt. but dress well and drive a hot car and people would think you were a millionare. The Hamptons, she explained, is all show. People see where you live and how you live and that's why Simon and Alex don't do the Hamptons. They choose to fly to the hot and muggy Carribean in August, b/c they don't have anything to show. They are phonies.