Holy burnt eyeballs, Yenta! I was not expecting the masked bilingual Brooklynites tatas to be on display in your recap! Thank you sooo much for not putting up the full-on cootchie pic that I saw online last year, or I'd have hysterical blindness right now.
I'm willing to bet that she was one of those over-acheiving girls in High School who was never without her copy of "The Fountainhead" and interrupted other students in the French Club to correct their grammar. She also reminds me of this one girl that I said hello to once, which she took as undying friendship and then never left me alone for the entire junior year.
I'm looking forward to this season mostly because of your recaps, and keep that Bailey's handy, I think youare going to need it.
Kisses, Twunty

Ok, can anyone post a link or the address to the NY Post item that was the talk of this episode?

Oops, I need to get more coffee in me before I comment. I meant to say that Ramona reminds me of the girl that followed me around, not Alex. Though she would creep me out too.

What a perfect start to my day! The fabulous drag queen was so fabulous. I wonder what would happen if you stuck her with the cast of the OC? And I loved the gay husbands comment about fake boobs when Bethany " I steal my one-liners from 90's rap songs" was right next to him with her new boobs.

Oh, Yenta Darling -
Great recap as always. I laughed, I cried, it was better than Cats....

Thank you for clearing up my problem with Mario - it's the creepy serial killer look! You nailed it, thanks.

Silex's "house" (rooms) in the Hamptons? The Bates Motor Hotel looked cozier. Geez, get over yourselves already! These 2 make me want to hurl. I can see I will need to restock the vodka to get through this season of RHONY.

It seemed to me that Ramona was making an effort to speak s l o w l y and d e l i b r a t e l y when in the confessionals. Maybe she watched her crazy self last season?

Bethany looks too skinny this season - and I hope she does not try to be funny all the time, she seemed to be trying a little too hard this epi.

The Countess (pausing to bow)-for someone writing a book about etiquette she might consider a chapter about talking to wait staff. A simple "no thank you" would have been sufficient. She reminds me of a quote from Dorothy Parker, referring to something said by Claire Booth Luce. Luce was quoted as saying that she was always kind to her inferiors, Parker responded "wherever does she find them?".

No real opinion yet on Kelly, she just seemed like she does not need this attention grabbing show.

But I heart Jill big time!
And I heart you, Yenta!!!!!

I have never seen this show, gonna have to watch it!

Hey Yenta...great recap.

I have a story for you...I think I bumped into Bethenney (literally!) in central park last summer! I was on a long run, and some chick on roller-blades, with jet black hair, a huge rack, and big manly jawline stepped dead in the middle of the bike/running path to tap tap out a message on her blackberry. I didn't have time to avoid her and she apologized. Unfortunately, I can't wear my hearing aid when I run, so there's no voice confirmation...but I could have sworn it was Bethenney (wearing huge Jackie-O like sunglasses). Anyhoo...stopping dead in a busy bike/running lane to send an Email struck me as a Bethenney thing to do, so I assume it was her.

Ramona and Mario really pissed me off w/ the homophobic snickering at the cafe. It was kinda outre for a liberal mecca like NYC and outed them as one of those asshole Fratboy and Barbie couples the city needs less of. For their sakes, I hope it's a cynical public stance because they have a conservative "faith based" business to run, and not actual ignorance.

I love Jill Zarin. I want to be her second gay husband if she ever decides to cheat on Brad.

Keep up the good work! I'll be watching the season with you!
DS

Now these are some whackadoodles I can appreciate. Glad to be rid of that vile tribe and their demon offspring, out on the west coast. Oh Yikes! I had never seen Alexiseseses.. art pics before. How very high society of her. Willam DeFoe in drag-BRILLIANT!
Yenta, I just love the way you so eloquently put these ladies in their place. Kelly does seem pretty normal and an actual socialite, so not so sure how she'll make out this season.
And you are so right on re: the men of this show. Creepy McCreepertons. I love the possible love connection between Slade Slimey & Kelly- LOL.
As always- love, hearts, x's & o's.

Bah! The photo of Alex in the Mardi Gras mask never gets less terrifying. In fact, I think it becomes a little more nightmare-inducing each time.

I agree that Alex's pic just gets creepier. Maybe it's that her nipples are so...confrontational in their glare.

Holy Crap! Yenta, I think that pic of Alex is going to give me nightmares. I had somehow avoided seeing her pics. Not anymore. Must. Wash. My. Eyeballs.

Glad to see crazy eyes is back. I can see how she is trying very hard to be more normal, but I don't think she'll be able to hold out for very long. Loved her nickname of silex for Simon and Alex!

Love you Yenta!! You always make me giggle and guffaw.

SWAK, PottyMouth

OK, now we have Crazy Eyes AND Crazy Nipples!

WOW!! This was great! So much edgier and cattier than the OC recaps, although I enjoyed those as well. This recap was so different from the OC that I had to double check that this was really you, Yenta! Keep it up! I loved it! I could have done without the Alex pic though. MY EYES!!!!! LOL!

Oh, I forgot to say! When I heard Kelly was married to Gilles Bensimon I was like, "Cool! He did photographs for America's Next Top Model!" Very cool! And Kelly does seem way above these ladies. Did it seem to anyone else that the Countess even seemed a bit desperate to be her friend?

huh...i did not realize that a countess need to do research on etiquette. oxymoron?

Let me start out by offering my sincere apologies for any permanent eye damage. I'm afraid Alex's photo does burn a permanent imprint on those retinas....

Twunty McSlore: Heart. I'm so hoping you might be able to offer some of your personal expertise on the new housewife. Is she really fab or is she a manufactured persona? I totally missed the drag race recap last week, and I'm totally kicking myself. Funny, funny stuff you got there. And I completely love your description of Alex in high school.

Lawyergal: You can just google New York Post Housewife Catfights.

Sheiney: I'm guessing that Tamra and the drag queen are going to look identical in a couple of years. Heh-heh

Njgasmifan: I'm a little worried about Bethenny as well. I hope she doesn't crash by trying too hard.

Fatgirsrule: Honey you're going to love this one. I can't wait to read your comments about the Countess, just keep your codeine handy ; )

Dogsnaxx: Loved your Bethenny story. How funny. I think you have Ramona and Mario tagged pretty well. Even though I tend to cut Ramona some slack, because, well, she's insane...

Shantigal: "How very high society of her." LOL Too funny. I have to say that I'm glad to be rid of the OC women as well this season. Let's hope these, ladies are entertaining without being vile.

LAjane: OMG I hope I didn't trigger bad dreams. Remember it's not real. Alex is just a cartoon character, or at least that's what I keep telling myself.

boris8: Darling, I think you're on a another forum that I read for housewife research. Poor Alex's nipples. You've got to feel for them.

Pottymouth: I think you're right, Crazy Eyes is really working on being calm, or she's medicated. Either way it's kind of sweet...I hope Hell's kitchen keeps going for a really really long time, too funny : )

Pixielated: Hugs

Thatswhatshesaid: Wow, I had no idea that the recap was that much different. I think because the tone of the show is different, it might reflect in the recap. I agree the Countess did seem to being trying harder than usual. We'll see how that plays out.

mrngstar: I have to admit the part about the etiquette research was me being bitchy. In truth I have no idea why it's taking so long for her to put out the book.

Love you all.
Hugs,
Yenta

Thanks Yenta, I found the article by googling "New York Post Housewifes Catfight." Want to hear the crazy part - the search resulted in 27,800 hits!!

Also, that article was on 6/27/08. So, that places the start of the season for continuity sake. Jill mentions that Silex will not be invited to her 7/4 party. I wonder if we'll see that?

I hate to dump on Silex, but did anyone else get a little thrill, right after dissing the McMansions, that they pulled up to a house that was only missing a car up on blocks and a rusted propane tank in the back? Loved their admonition to the little princes not to jump on the bed because they don't jump on Mummy and Daddy's bed at home. Um, didn't we see sweet Francois doing an Olympic trampoline routine over Mummy while she lay across the bed last season? Can't wait to see the show where we suddenly don't put our toys in other people's food at home, now do we? On a more serious not, I dunno if there are special laws in "The Hamptons", but down here on Earth, we need to confine our toddlers to car safety seats.
And, "The Countess doesn't drink beer from a bottle." Oh, plu-eeze!! A simple, "No, thank you" would've worked. Not sure what to make of Kelly yet. Maybe she can hook Betheny up with one of the kagillions of men that she knows. Curious to see how Kelly and Alex's first intro goes, though.

Dear Yenta,
You are great in Orange County but you BELONG in New York City!
Way to kick off the season with the nude pic of Alex...genius!
Xo Tillee

Holy crap! This new girl, Kelly has to have the FUGLIEST fake boobs on TV!!! I thought she was well off - why doesn't she get them fixed? They look so horribly placed, pulling to the sides, as if they wanted to hide under her armpits. Grosssssss!! I thought Betheny's were not pretty, but Kelly definitely takes the cake in this department.
I feel awkward focusing on this subject, but Bravo producers went out of their way to show both women in situations in which this is the only comment that came to my mind.

This is hilarious, even better than the OC recaps. The bidet comment made me laugh out loud.

And I agree with the other posters, the new girl has some very unfortunate breast implants.

Hi Yenta! Honey, no one does the housewives like you do. I heart you back, big time.
I think that Kelly is a bit older than me but I'm going to do my research and let you know what I come up with. If we ever worked together, it has slipped my memory but to be honest, she is as bland as a model possibly could be, and I've met plenty of those.
I'm going to shut up now and eagerly await your next recap.
I hope your weather has improved! If not, drink a hot toddy for me. Big kiss,
Twunty

I'm so glad someone else noted Kelly's horrible breasts. They are completely wall-eyed. The Marty Feldman of breast implants. Awful! I wish more time had been given to the hilarious shack the Van Kempens are calling a Hampton's vaca home. Talk about a hole. I'm pretty sure Mario is burying his dead prostitues there.

Kinda mean to say her breasts are "horrible." Some women have breasts that are naturally far apart. Implants don't fix it, and ask any doctor, they can't simply move breasts.

No, natural breasts don't sprout from your underarms. Never seen it, ever. Only breast implants make breasts look like that. Not to mention that they look like 1/2 slices of grapefruits glued to her body. Those are implants. Really ugly implants.

This is my update comment. This episode has come back to bite Ramona and Mario. I'm loving the Karma.

Is their daughter going to have to ride the bus to school now? I really wish they had thought about what
effect the Bravo blog was/is
having on her. My daughter would lock herself in her room and refuse to come out until she turned 18.