With each episode, my love for Jill grows deeper (I want her as one of my girlfriends!!!) my like for Bethenny (and possibly, a bit of sympathy...but not in a bad/you are a big black whole of need way) grows stronger, my revulsion of Ramona continues, and my desire to knock the pretentiousness outta the wannabe-europeans - Alex and the CountAss - remains.

Jill makes this show. She and Bobby are the only thing "Real" about it.

Thankfully, it appears that Ramona and her ball-less wonder of a husband are financially sound enough to afford the monumnetal costs associated with Avery's future years in therapy thanks to Ramona's "mothering".

Wow, what an exciting week this was, as the Countess took a walk on the lower middle class of life, and slummed it, replete with Rhoda wanna-be and a lice infestation, while Alex climed ever so much higher and let it slip that GASP sometimes she works in Ohio... I will admit I was looking forward to this week, and have also been following our soicety matrons in at www.nysd.com to see when their names will pop up as well. The more I watch this show, the more I love Jill, as she seems to be the most real of the women, and also the most grounded. I would flock to her anyday!!! It was also nice to see how often Alex and Simon could show how truly unusual their child was, and take the advice from Jill, with a name like "FRANC" it can't ever be good. I like how they also put on their dress to impress business attire to visit the Claremont School, and kudo's on plying the viewers with once more, how 'international' they truly aspire to be. One question at what rung on the social climbing ladder does one get a nose bleed? I loved the Countess's 'Bohemian Chic Shepard Look' also, I also like the Rhoda Wanna-be accessory too, just when you thought the lower East Side was safe from Axel Rose. Ramona - I could see her slowly becoming the stage mother from hell, but hey, if the girl doesn't want to do it? Has she seen 'Life Beyond Tomorrow' -not pretty. And last, but not least Bethenny. I feel that I too had see that entire scene before. My nana was like that, before the electro-shock, and judging by the previews, she ends up like nana too. I only hope she realizes that some guys you just don't push....Oh well. YentaPatrol, I LOVE your posts, I only wish you had started one for the housewives of Orange County too...Keep them coming, you help make my midwest upbringing, seem so much more NYC!!!

This is all so confusing....
IF my nephew (age 4) was singing Twinkle, Twinkle in Latin, I would seek permanent custody. I think he's brilliant because he knows his colors, is great on a plane to Florida to see Gramma and because he takes time out to pretend he's a frog once in a while.

Someone please tell Alex and her gay husband (oh sorry, Jill has the gay husband) Simon that those are not little actors hired to play the part of adorable children. They are real kids who need to grow up and learn things, including not to be rude, pretentious, social climbing idiots.

Please let them watch Sesame Street and Disney movies. They might be saved if there is a quick intervention.

Otherwise they will be enmeshed in the same behavior as Alex and Simon and that would be a great tragedy. I have a hard time calling these two parents, they don't look out for the kids best interests. They think that's what they're doing, but it is in their best interest to allow them to be children.

Alex and Simon-is it just me but isn't there place just a dive. The door to their apartment or whatever walks right into their crowded bedroom. They do not have any pictures or decorations anywhere. There kids look like rug rats. I guess you can take the gal out of the trailer park but not the trailer park out of the gal. Alex needs to wear a better bra, her boobs sag. She is actually pretty ugly onlong with that ratty hair. Simon is just gross. No wonder they met in an online dating place. Sounds like they don't have the money to vacation in the Hamptons. I betcha she really doesn't spend that much money on clothes. What is her job with Victoria Secrets? I have a feeling they are living way outside of their means. The Countess is just plain annoying. I like her kids though, especially her daughter. I LOVE JILL! She is real. Can't stand Romana. Someone teach her how to dress and accesorize please!

Wow great recap, lots to discuss!
I immediatlt got suspicious when Luanne turned up the charm for that lady with the terrible hair. I propose that since Luanne took an instant dislike to Ramona, she decided she would much rather be making friends in the very small circle of cast members. Be more in the loop, etc.
I agree, I saw the pic of Alex with her hair done I was like who is that woman? and why in the name of all thats holy will she not do her own hair when SHE KNOWS it can look so much better.Tragic.Uggh Simon gives me that creeps.

Love Jill and Bethany! But when Beth was so despreate over the dinner I was begging her to stop! Please lady keep it together! And what was that about her Fathers 1 and 2? was there background on this that I missed? Very perplexing. Hmmm

Yeah, I agree. It's not just Alex's horrible horrible hair that makes her unattractive..she (and Alex) are just not attractive people). And her makeup when she was out with The Countess, Jill and Bethany was horrible. Every time she closed her eyes I wanted to help her blend.

I also love Jill (and have to disagree with AnneM - I think Bobby is very metrosexual, but also very straight) Simon, on the other hand, who knows. I also cannot stand looking at him.

The Countess gets on my nerves sometimes, but I overall like her...especially when compared to Ramona...who I think has some eye problems...do they look a little crossed or something to anyone else?

Yankeesfan, I agree with your comments re) Ramona's eyes (incidentally, I'm a Mets fan, who would've thot we could agree, hee hee!) I think her eyes may be cross-eyed, and prone to bugging out---she seems to have them open very widely all the time, it's very strange. I like her the least of this crew. I do admire some of the other lessons she's teaching her daughter, such as ensuring that you make your own money, so you are not dependent on your husband, but her obsession with Avery's acting career negates all that, to a degree.

I felt Bethenny's pain during her dinner w/ Jason--he doesn't seem like a bad guy, but come on-- can you blame a man who values his privacy first & foremost, to NOT want to have that discussion on national TV? Next week threatens to show her meltdown, poor girl. She seems very wounded by her (lack of?) relationship with her father, some severe daddy issues there.

I like Jill, she seems to be the most down-to-earth gal in this lot. The Countess is fun to watch, b/c she is so full of herself, but not ashamed of it. Interesting aside, I read on Bravo's site that she is part Native American.

I won't waste any text on Alex & Simon, suffice it to say that I agree with all the previous posters' re) their child-rearing, grooming, etc. I wonder why they mostly film their home scenes in the bedroom -- I believe they own that entire townhouse? They seem to think they know everything, yet they actually know very little about real life. They seem to display many characteristics of those with new money, as if they read in a manual how to act/live/love/carry on, now that one is rich. (To another poster who asked---I believe in the 1st eppy, Alex said she is some sort of webpage/graphic designer, has her own company--I'm guessing she has something to do with designing Victoria Secret's website?)

Thank you, YentaPatrol, for a spot-on recap---you notice everything that I'm hoping will be mentioned in the recap (insightful Rosie, neice Nicole, horny Lauren the friend, etc). Looking forward to more giggles next week!

I cringed for Bethenny during that dinner - all I kept thinking is he doesn't want her to move in but he doesn't want to humiliate her on national television by saying so. God, I am so glad that none of my super-embarassing/desperate moments were caught on tv.

I felt bad for Bethenny also. We've all be there.

I also noticed that Simon and Alex do not have a living room, there is a bed there (which I am assuming is one of the boys or maybe the nanny?), the outside door is right there. Also, ediquette requires that when YOU invite someone to dinner, YOU pay the tab!! At the end of Jill and Alex's dinner did you notice that Simon was like "hum, should we get the check?", so Bobby, who has more class in his little finger then Simon and Alex combined, told him not to worry about it, they would pay the tab. They had invited Jill and Bobby out so that they could hook up with Jill's friend's school. Just Jill getting them in should have cost them the dinner tab. LOSERS!! Damn, they aggravate me, could ya tell??

Jill and Bobby certainly have better manners and put Alex and Simon to shame. Of course, Simon should have paid the tab - sheesh what a cheapo. I guess he always conducts himself in this bargain shopping way; ask about the tab instead of just grabbing it and vacationing in the off season. They seem very ungrateful.
Sorry, guys, I just do not see how Bethenny even qualifies for a spot on this show. If she is serving the purpose of showing "how NOT to become a real housewife" then I understand. Just saying...
Ramona reminds me of Rocky on "I Know My Kid's a Star". Watching Ramona in any situation is like watching a train wreck. However, we do need some comic relief and she does make me laugh, just not the joyful laughing, sad and shaking my head kind of laughing. Her eyes, always opening to their fullest - YIKES!
The Countess is really a bit funny and you can see that she was a real person before the Count. I hope that she will remain a good friend to Jill, Jill deserves sweet, good friends. I can detect some loyalty there between Luanne and Jill.
Thanks, YentaPatrol, for another insightful and humorous recap!

Ramona looks JUST LIKE kathie Lee Gifford!

and....I could swear the flashing light necklace LuAnne got off the street vendor had a pot leaf on it.....I might need to look closer!

Bethanny needs to leave the family drama at home. No one wants to hear that at a dinner function!

Yankeesfan (#6), AnneM was referring to Jill's "gay husband" Brad, not her real husband Bobby.

SnappyComeback(#10)- I completely agree with you about Bethenny- WHY is she on the show? She's neither a mother nor a housewife. I also find her quite annoying, like Ramona.

Jill is definitely my favorite, and I love when she is hanging out with her girl LuAnn. They crack me up.

YentaPatrol, thank you SO much for recapping this show-you rock!

I'm not sure which gal I dislike most, The Cuntess or The JAP. I noticed that they love lording it over Romana and Snarla (and her conjoined twin, Simon) just a little too much. I'm glad I'm not the only one puzzled by Bethany's presence on this show. Were they unable to find a forth frau?

I finally figured it out!!!!

I know who SIMON reminds me of. It's James Lipton, that really pretentious host of "The Actors' Studio".

It's been driving me crazy, I knew there was something about him that seemed familiar. I almost want to apologize to James Lipton for the comparison.

Either that guy or Will Farrell's character of that guy who is a "lover" of Rachel Dracht's character and they talk openly about their sex life. He's pretty gross in that skit.

ok,ok, no more worrying about Simon.

I guess you can take the gal out of the trailer park but not the trailer park out of the gal. Alex needs to wear a better bra, her boobs sag. She is actually pretty ugly onlong with that ratty hair.
-------

I love this comment. Alex is just plain nasty. OMG, those teeth!! She would fit in better on the Discovery Channel, posing for Great White Shark close ups.

The dreadful hair has been well-documented, but what about that flatened face? Blech!! A model's figure??!! She looks more like a prisoner of war. Simon's no prize either, and together their pathetic status-seeking is just plain transparent and annoying.

Jill is great! Bethany has her momeents. Luanne is a little too full of herself; I'm not really sure what relevence there is in her being a Countess -- by default, of sorts. Ramona would do well to start taking Valium, Xanax or both. Immediately. And enough of bug-eyed Avery already.

I love this part of your recap about Alex:
unable to repress a sudden overwhelming surge of pretentiousness ... Alex overwhelmed and twitching with the compulsion to spew her pretentious pompous drivel across the table cannot help but share ...

OMG, you've really got Alex nailed! She truly cannot help herself! How can that couple not realize how ridiculous they sound? I was really surprised when the Countess seemed to take a liking to her. I don't buy it. There's no way the Countess didn't see through Alex's fake sophistication. My theory is that LuAnn realized she may have appeared Catty & snooty in the thing with Ramona ... and if she behaved at all rudely to Alex (no matter how much Alex deserved it), it wouldn't be befitting of a Countess. I think she was feigning liking Alex, just so she didn't look like a snob on tv.

Oh... I agree with the part about Bethany's "incredulous smile". Bethany's expression through that entire meal was priceless! You could really tell that she was trying hard to be polite and not roll her eyes at Alex's embarrassing behavior.

I love how Bethany says she decided not to join the language "pissing match." Smart move. I've got to say here ... um, I speak a little Italian and I'm pretty sure Alex has a handful of memorized sentences in Italian and that's it. That conversation in Italian made no sense. Honestly, I couldn't make sense of LuAnn's questions either, but I know for sure that "Qui or Si" ... neither one was an appropriate answer to LuAnn's question.

One last thing about Alex: She made damn sure that she squeezed in the information about attending Northwestern... (the whole opera director story was a just a means to get that tidbit in)... but I'm wondering if she graduated? If you look at Alex' & Simon's family website, in all it's pretentious glory, neither one says what degrees they got from the schools they prominently mention.

Okay, Mimi, it's just a show. Let it go. Let it go.

Season 2? I'll take a stab at a synopsis for Episode #1, though I can't come close to Yenta's hilarious tone.

No longer willing to keep Johan in the background, Alex and Simon reveal that their youngest spawn already has his own website -- IN SANSKIT, no less. Wilting under the critical comments about her looks, Alex consults a plastic surgeon (a bargin doc, of course); however, the surgeon informs Alex that he cannot help her, that even medical science can do only so much. Simon is caught leaving a gay bath house.

Ramona's eyes are even more bugged out and she becomes a dead ringer for the late character actor Marty Feldman. Mario runs off with a mistress.

Jill continues to be the delightful Jill, thank God for that. She contacts Social Services in an attempt to save Francois and Johann.

Luanne learns that, due to a clerical error, she is actually a Countless, sending into a Meth binge and landing her in rehab, along side roommate Bethanny.

Oh, the possibilties.