Thank you, thank you, thank you, Yenta. I am amazed at how you make me laugh about these twits almost as much as I'm amazed at how out of touch they are. Is there no one in Orange County suffering from anything other than needle pinches from botox injections or tanning booth burns? I would love to give them a tour of Cleveland's east side and then leave them at the bus terminal to fight over a single ticket back to Caliornia.

I live in Laguna Beach and PROMISE that these women are NOT the majority. I couldn't live here if they were. That said...since the first season of this show, I've been more aware of the TRHOC 'types' and they are scary. I can't help but stare at them like a side show carnival--so cartoonish.
Yenta-you make a M.O.T. proud (see, we are in the OC too). I love your recaps and no-holds-barred descriptions. Thanks for the smiles!

Yenta, you are too much dollface. This episode nearly put me in the nervous hospital. Bravo to Bravo for being able to find the most unstable, socially unacceptable, clueless "families" in the U.S. Just when you think there can't be anyone worse than __________(fill in the blank), Bravo manages to find (script) them.

Excellent work on the back research, re:Slade & Jeff's family. Thanks for your unappologetic take on these whack jobs.

couple of questions:

slade lost his daughter?

and what blogs are jeff's family making comments about gretchen on?

just wondering what the back story is on these characters.

yenta your recaps are awesome. i am so glad that you honed right in on the vicki/briana relationship. my mother says a lot of the same things that vicki says and it was almost painful to watch the beginning segment between briana and vicki.

when i was watching it i was hoping that you would make comments about it in your recap. i mean only a complete psycho or a person with suffering from borderline personality disorder would claim that they would kill themselves should some they care about die. it is very disturbing to hear and a bit co-dependent that you can't live with the other person.

Actually, RS & Yenta, I'm interested in 'hearing' what Jeff's family said as well. I looked at Gretchen's blog on the Real Housewives site. Unfortunately, each of her posts has around 95-351 comments and I'm too tired to read them all. Of the few I scanned they were typically from strangers who either lambasted her or praised her. So, I'm wondering where/when/what Jeff's fam posted -

I love Briana, bless her heart. Isn't it ironic that the wacko-est Housewife of them all has the coolest kid? (Probably totally messed up in her own way, but a productive and likable person.)

As I said last week, I am truly glad that Jeff's bad taste in women didn't leave him alone in his final days. At least his kids have an ounce of decency. I hope he didn't see any of this footage, like Gretchen joking about hooking up with hospital personnel. So classy!

Hey Folks,

Oy!! I forgot that I can't post links and I lost what I just wrote. Hate that! So, there was a really long ongoing thread of comments at Absurd to Sublime but the link I had to it is no longer pulling it up. There's alot of infighting going on between the different Gretchen/Jeff factions. However, some other sites have some of the juicier quotes from the thread, so I'm going to cut and paste a couple of those. I apologize if this takes alot of space:

The story for the show is, she has been dating Jeff for 2 years BUT that doesn't make sense. Gretchen and Chris filed for divorce in July 2007? Gretchen is known to have slept with 2 co workers in the Real estate industry from 2005 - 2006. Had a relationship with someone with last name Caine from July 2007 to Jan 2008. Then someone with the last name of Photoglou from Jan 2008 until Sept 2008. Even attending the Sex and The City party in a Limo with Photoglou in early June with no ring on. They were, at one point, with all the other Housewives and their husbands. This should be interesting to see how they edit all of this to make sense with the facts that are public record."

"Slade Smiley did try to get a spot on season 4 through Gretchen Rossi. Slade is the one who went to bravo through Katie McIntosh to get Gretchen on the show. after getting Gretchen on the show, Slade put it to Gretchen that he and her should date on the show to create controversy. This was per Slade done through the urging of Scott Dunlop. NOW after months of rejection by Gretchen Rossi, Slade is putting his friends on Gretchen. It is my understanding Gretchen has now met and willing to meet Slades friends but not Slade due to her friendship with Jo. Gretchen has said this is only for the storyline for Season 5... "

Judy Fike said…

I happen to be Jeff’s sister and although I knew the kind of relationship they had – he seeking the “Malibu Barbie” armpiece & her seeking $$$$$ and someone to take care of her… I’m just glad he wasn’t able to see how superficial this relationship was. At Christmas when he first found out about his illness & limited chance of survival, he had no intentions of marrying her or anyone else…”

The problem is, almost all of the commenters are anonymous, so there’s no way of knowing they are real and not just someone who hates Gretchen posting over and over again (like, say…Vicki). They’re still fun to read, like this one:

“Gretchen didn’t love Jeff, she loved his money, his connections, and the lifestyle that he could afford her. I also know for fact that Gretchen didn’t spend the time she claims she did taking care of Jeff. Jeff spent way too many hours and days alone in the hospital while Gretchen was out partying it up with her friends and doing promotional things for this show (that she has no business being on). “

As always, it's hard to know what to believe, but it's interesting reading nonetheless.

As for Slade's deceased child, a buddy of mine pointed out that it was his son not a daughter who was suffering from a fatal form of brain cancer last year. As far as I know the poor child has since passed away.

Susie: I love the idea of taking these ladies for a joy ride through the east side of Cleveland and dumping them. Best new reality show ever!! Thanks for the giggle.

Silver: Thanks for giving me some faith in Laguna beach. Please take a few minutes to do some sun/sand worshipping for me. I'm under several feet of snow here and it warms my heart to know that somebody can still frolick.

Shanitgal: You must immediately spike your hot chocolate with Bailey's. No nervous hospital for you!! We need you to keep us smiling with your posts.

Reckless Saturn: I completely understand about Vicki and her probable personality disorder. I think when you've had to deal with something like that in a family member, it makes it really hard to watch. Yikes!!

Anicho01: One of the comments on the original thread at Absurd to Sublime from someone claiming to be one of Jeff's family members stated that they had tried to post their take on the Gretchen storyline but their posts kept getting censored.

If anybody has any other info, please dish it.

Hugs,
Yenta

Oops,
Pixielated: Sorry!! I didn't mean to miss you, I think we were posting at the same time : ) I totally agree with you about hoping that Jeff didn't see the footage, but still how awful for his kids if they did!! UGGH!

Hugs to you too,
Yenta

Oof! I can't bring myself to watch this show...but I'm really enjoying the recaps!

I can't seem to keep any of the people straight though, they all look the same in the photographs. Or is that racist of me to say?

Frankly, I think Jeff knew what he was getting with Gretchen cuz after all, wasn't he married 4x? I'm sure he was looking for Malibu Barbie and knew what it took to keep her. Besides, he was dying...so what man doesn't want to look at someone like Gretchen in his last days?

Not supporting it, but just saying that Jeff wasn't no dummy, that's all.

Yenta,

Fabulous job as usual. Vicki is such a crazy woman. I just can't imagine her in business doing a good job. can you imagine working for her?

Bosses like Vicki are the reason some people drink during their lunch hours.

Can't wait until next week. I bet Jeana loses her pom poms for good!!

AnneM

I can't get over the fact that Gretchen looks so completely like a TRANNY! Every time I see her face, I can't help but thinks that she used to be a dude, and not a handsome one at that, who went thru the 'sex change' ect. I mean, look at her pictures in this recap. Does she resemble a woman in any of them??? And the same is true for the show, althoug during the show I tend to focus more on what a totally fake, mercennary attention whore she is, and less on her appearance.
As for Vicki - she gets nuttier with every week. As far as I remember she started out much closer to normal, but took a huge skid into the psychotic as time went by.
Lynne is a disgusting piece of human garbage - the way she raises her daughters make me nauseous. And her daughter Raquel is probably the most obnoxious girl I've seen on TV in a long time. Every time after watching her I want to run to the bathroom and take a shower. She makes me all icky. I wander that the Child Protective Services have not paid a visit to that household - there is still some hope for the younger daughter if someone helps her out of that worm nest. I can't believe that BRAVO is going soooo low in their hunt for ratings.

Is it just me or do Gretchen and Tamra look alike? Grethcen does that weird thing when one eye goes shut and the other stays open, and now Tamra is doing it.

Oh, the story about the "nuggett' tatoo... that is a load of shit if I ever smelled one. IF it is true, Ryan showed have his balls cut off for saying something about 'it worked out for the best' that the baby was miscarried. As a married women who has miscarried twice, I could have just puked when he said that! If he doesnt want kids, then he needs to keep his dick in his pants or put a baggie on it.
Also, I love Brianna! This girl works 12 hr shifts just like I do at a nursing home/hospital. At the end of the day I look tired with my hair all messy and no makeup due to sweating all day. Thank goodness someone on this show has their head on straight.

For an update on Grayson Smiley, go to:

www.amazinggray.org

You know what? I really like Gretchen. I do! She stands up for herself and seems genuine, compared to the other women. And that scene, where Tamra and Gretchen were going at it, I thought Gretchen was going to CUT HER. Seriously, don't fuck with Gretchen. She will cut you.

Oh Yenta, yet another fantastic, cut-to-the-heart-of-it recap! Thanks for the laughs. How sad was it that Vicki was BEGGING Briana to say that she loved Vicki more than the dog? Although I do love the wary look Vicki's kids get on their faces when speaking to CrackMama....And when a hormonal teenage boy tells you you look like a stripper - well, perhaps it's time to reconsider your wardrobe selection. So far I am not a Lynn fan, and Raquel makes me want to put a foot through the TV. Major kudos, though, to Briana for finding a career she enjoys and can be passionate about.
Yenta and fellow fans - happy new year to you!

Raquel looks and sounds like Kristen C. from Laguna Beach. Even her facial expressions are the same. Weird! And what the hell was a 15 yr old girl wearing that dress (if you can call it a dress) for?? And Lynn saw nothing wrong with it!! It was funny when everyone was standing at Raquels car and dad said "girls are expensive" with the little Hooch standing right there.... funny shit i tell ya!

That is so sad about Slade's son. The poor little guy has been through alot. I noticed there are no pics of slade on the webite.

On another topic..fatgirlsrule, before you posted that about Kristin from Laguna beach I thought the exact thing!!

fatgirlsrule:

Yeah! Raquel does sound like Kristen C! I kept thinking she reminded me of her and it's because of the voice and attitude. I liked Kristen C though. I don't care for Raquel. Or, "Raqwell" as they would have called her in Laguna. Ha ha!(Season 3 when the Juniors became Seniors)

I also looked at the Grayson Smiley website, and there is no mention of parents and no pics of Slade. There are several different women holding the child, so I wonder who the mom is?

Wouldn't it be great if one of these people (or families) invested all of their money with Bernard Madoff!? I'd pay good money to see a reality show about how they would live w/o money! Especially if it was Lynne.

Yenta, how do "we know" all this stuff about Gretchen's personal life, such as who she slept with, etc. Is that what it said on the board you got it from? It's weird that somebody would KNOW exactly who she'd had sex with, etc. (Who she is dating or seen with is different; of course it might be safe to assume whoever she's dating is sleeping with her). I'm always suspicious about the "we know" and "we know for a fact" phrasings, especially if they are blind!

Not that I like Gretchen. I don't.

Lynn is all wrinkled and has dried out hair. Anyone who would encourage their kids to not eat and to drink alchol is an awful person in my book. And just why did Raquel have to have a car for her 18th B-Day??? I was 24 before I got my first car, and that was only because I paid for it myself!

Itchy: I'm glad you're enjoying the recaps. I'm personally thankful that the producers thought to introduce a brunette into the mix. It's helping me tell them apart.

Ziggychk: I totally agree that Jeff must have had a fetish for Barbie dolls. I honestly hope she made him happy in his last days.

AnneM: If I remember correctly Vicki's last assistant was forced to undergo a Brazilian wax while Vicki listened at the door. Strangely, that assistant seems to have disappeared from the show.

Renata: I find Lynne's parenting disturbing as well. I do hope that some of it is due to editing...

FatGirlsRule: I've been a little suspicious of the "nugget" story as well. It does seem like Ryan is trying to milk his air time.

I love the comparison to Kristen C. I wonder if Raquel watched Laguna Beach.

PizzaGirl: Thanks for the website.

Norwego: Even Gretchen needs fans : )

Njgasmifan: Please, please don't put your foot through the TV. I totally understand the urge, though. I've been throwing food at the screen and now it's all blurry.

Tillee: I agree about Slade's son. I wish "Real" tragedy would stay out of "Real" TV.

Thatswhathesaid: Thanks for posting : )

Pixielated: I totally agree there's no way of confirming whether the quotes I posted are true. I just wanted to offer a possible counterpoint to the Bravo/Gretchen storyline as they're spinning it. I wish the original thread was still active. It made for interesting reading. I'm pretty sure a couple of the other readers here participated in that thread on the other site, so maybe they can share their thoughts?

I do have to say that some of the points about Gretchen and her relationships seem to have been at least partially corroborated when I poked around. But like all of us, I only have so much time...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

Hugs to everybody,
Yenta

I live in a part of the country that JUST got access to Bravo so I am only now catching on to the whole RHO...ATL, OC, NYC bandwagon. Love it though! I do have to say that at least Raquel didn't get a brand spankin' new BMW. But did you catch that she doesn't even have her license?! Also, Vicki is Ka-razy...and Ryan (Tamra's son) is the grossest person I've seen in a long time. I hope women see this and never want date him.

I agree about Raquel sounding like Kristin Cavallari from Laguna... I noticed that during the past few episodes. I think she's trying to be her. After all that talk about her birthday party, it looked pretty lame... I couldn't believe what I was watching during the scene with the younger sister and her boyfriend in the parking lot... that is hilarious that he called her a stripper

Rachel does sound like donkey-laugh Kristin. The irony being that Kristin is a mid-teen Laguna transplant. So I guess that makes them both wannabes?

And I'm calling B.S. on the Nugget story. The Urban Dictionary says a nugget is a good bud. I definitely see Ryan as more of a slacker/stoner than a "sensitive" guy pining for what could have been.

LOL @ the Brazillian wax story. I missed that episode!! I get my eyebrows waxed every two or three weeks, and that is torture enough for me,couldnt imagine 'down there' being waxed!
Have a nice night~~
Rebecca

Am new to this site and an instant fan! Thank you for crystallizing what makes the show both revolting and endlessly entertaining. You may have covered it in the archives but she cannot be bashed enough: how un-talented is Jo? Her singing sounds like nasal hyenas in heat. What's with the bullshit she was fed by the record producers Slade brought by last season...can they really believe she has talent??

Yentapatrol... gosh, what a great job you did, I absolutely love the way you skewer these absolute backstabbing petty immature bitches... I'm pretty much over Gretchen and her Mother Teresa bit.

And Jo De La Rosa! I must tell you that I SAW HER ALBUM on sale at Fry's Electronics a couple of months ago... for about $6. It looked very lonely. I ALMOST bought it (because I send out a terrible CD with my Christmas cards every year... yeah, I'm thoughtful like that) but in the end I didn't even want to contribute six measly dollars to keeping her "career" alive.

Love to you, can't wait to see if Gretch consoles herself with MILFing Tamra's son next week!

xoxo

J-Mo :)

Thanks so much Yenta for the awesome recap AND cut n paste's from the blogoshpere. Very interesting indeed to read what other people have to say, particularly about Gretchen.

But mostly I'm chiming in because I'm in my 20's and I know there's no way that the word "nugget" on another 20something is anything other then a pot reference.
He might convince his mom of some lame baby related story, but I'm no fool!
Stoned maybe...
Foolish? Never!

Thanks, Yenta, for your terrific summaries. I'm left panting for the next one to appear!!!

You did miss one detail that I think would have added to the "drama" of the "ladies' lunch:" Lynn's dramatic "CUT" and her decreeing that the "ladies" should not talk about children or illness.

I thought the whole exchange gave a good insight into both Lynn's controlling, insensitive personality and the "outrage" of the others at being told what to do.

For what it's worth, I like Gretchen. She's got her faults, but I don't think she's as mean as Tamra & Vicki.

these bitches are crazy I found some juicy gossip about gretchen check this site out realfauxhousewives.wordpress.com

Gretchen had a boyfriend named jay pothoglou while she was with jeff. if she would of cared about jeff then she woulnt of being on a tv show partying and letting other men grope her. her karma will come.