Yentaaaaaaa! It's finally DONE! What a terrifically nasty reunion show this was (although the Atlanta-hoes at least threatened physical violence on each other while Miss Andy looked on and giggled). The sheer vitriolic nastiness between Tamra and Gwretch was bee-yoo-tee-full to behold!

And as far as Gwretch is concerned, I have no clue why she didn't bother having a hospital room marriage ceremony... if it was good enough for Alexis Carrington and Cecil Colby (who were far richer and classier) then it should have been good enough for her! Unless, of course, that wasn't in her "paid caretaker" contract.

I was soooo happy to see La-La-Lynne finally take a fucking shot back at the Mean Girls with her "rocket scientists" comment, that was a total fist-pump-"Yessssss!"-moment if I've ever had one. Now if only she could do the same for her Demon-Spawn-Daughters she'd be on a roll!

And Jeana, my GOD, will she EVER wake up to the fact that she's got serious issues with the plethora of abusive men in her life? It's obvious that the Arizona Cowboy will never get anywhere with her as long as he's being, you know, nice to her...

If Slade Smiley comes back to this show next season as Gwretch's new douchebag-lover then Bravo! is going to have one seriously pissed off Queen In The Desert here, because I have never wanted someone to drop off the D-list map and into obscurity more than I want he and Jo to do. Talk about whoring yourself out to reality shows while a loved one is battling life-threatening illnesses! Then again, maybe that's why he and the Gwretch are perfect for each other.

You did an awesome job, I have so loved reading your work here, now on to the N.Y.C. coozies!

love, J-Mo :)

Imagine my delight when I found your recap was up this morning! Yenta and coffee, two things that go perfectly together on a Sunday morning!

As for fake boobies, I saw my first pair in the early nineties on a model who was so proud of them she lifted her shirt and showed them to me in all their pear shaped glory. The funny thing was that they didn't fit the bra she was supposed to be wearing for Victoria's Secret and since I was already there working on something else for the same photographer, they gave me the job instead. I felt bad for her until I saw my picture in all the holiday store windows.

And Gretchen. Oh dear. Doesn't she show all the classic signs of a liar? The way she keeps moving her mouth around and shifting her eyes like she wants to get the hell out of there, it was truly squirm inducing.

I hope they continue this franchise forever, it is such a guilty pleasure of mine. I would love to see them get some Texas or New Jersey wives involved. I mean, just imagine the hair! And will someone please get Bravo to improve their website? Please!

Yenta: Thanks for your on-spot recaps, I've always enjoyed them.

I couldn't believe when Vicki said, "I need Don to tell me I'm doing good everyday."

How does this play with her running seminars on "Living Inspired and Fully Engaged"? Truly Cracky

I loved this recap so much, especially the end- woo hoo.
Tamra and Vicki looked like rabies infested dogs at the start of this show. They were salivating, and waiting to go in for the kill, but they made themselves look worse in the end.
My question re: Tamra receiving the call and text from Jay- How did he get her number? Why would he choose to call her and not one of Gretchen's real friends? Something's not right. I think Tamra may be the real stalker.
It was obvious that Gretchen was lying, when asked if she slept with Jay, but the photos of them were taken on New Years- after Jeff passed away. Everyone grieves differently, and why do Tamra and Vicki care? They never wanted to get to know about her, or her relationship- but now they are so curious, please. Jeff was a smart man, that was married 5 times. Whether their relationship was real, or one of convenience, was really nobody's business because he knew what he was doing.
Vicki was a hypocrite, when talking about the underage drinking, because she brought her son and his pals beer when she paid a surprise visit to him at college- when he was still underage. By the way, how many times have we seen Vicki and Donn not only drink too much, but also drive a boat while doing so. Underage drinking is wrong, but Vicki seems to forget to look in the mirror before she throws her judgement around.
I wish the battles would have been more heated- they were too tame for me. You can still look like a lady while calling someone out.
Oh, and Jeff's daughter did an interview, post reunion and pics, and backed up pretty much everything that Gretchen said. I'm not a huge fan of hers, but she has gotten a raw deal. The things that she had to do- bathing him, putting tubes in him, dealing with anything that came out of his body- I would do it, but I would also need to take breathers. I don't think she's the brightest- she still wants to be friends with these people- but I don't think they gave her a fair chance.
I'm so glad to be done with these women. I've spent too much time on this crap.

Sorry for the long comment. I think I may need to go to Bass Lake for a break.

Thank you so much Yenta, you were the best part of this season.

Yenta,

Thanks for all the great recaps. I always look forward to reading them. Andy didn't say enough to Vicki and Tamra. They were awful and I love how they tried to put it on Lynn that she was mean. Andy needed to pursue that more!!! I love reading your thoughts. It's been as enjoyable as watching the show.
I wondered also how Jay had Tamra's phone number and thanks to Sheiney for pointing out about Vicki bring her son beer. I kept thinking there was something in the past when her Michael was drinking underage. Does Vicki watch when her son is on? I know he doesn't threaten to kill her but he doesn't give her a lot of respect either.
The reunion shows need to be longer!

My most favorite part of the entire reunion show came right at the end. When Andy was talking about the t-shirts. And Tamra said something about really buying hers. Referring to her boobs. And Andy says, "So to speak."

Other than that I think the girls all had big, old glasses of the delusional Kool-Aid before starting the show. I think what is happening is that their behavior is so atrocious that they only way they can live with themselves and not be in therapy. Is to just lie and lie to themselves about their behaviors and motivations for it. Self-awareness, self improvement what is that?

Well Yenta you have come a long way baby from your first recap of the New York bitties. And thank you for all your awesomeness and killer recaps. Can't wait to see what awaits us this season with the New York yentas. How low can they go?

sheiney: where did you see the interview with Jeff's daughter just out of curiosity?

I must also add that i used to like cracky but this season has ruined it for me. when she started telling lynne that she has made her cry while lynne was crying i wanted to punch her.

I hope it's ok to post this. I thought it was interesting.

Gretchen’s portrayal on Housewives that she was a devoted caretaker, always there for him, etc, was that accurate as far as you and your family knew?

Gretchen was the only one my dad had out in California all the time so yes she was a devoted caretaker, but when she had time off because other people were out there she definitely caught up with going out.

2) Are you and anyone in your family still in touch with her?
Jake, Lizzy and I still talk to her.

3) How have you guys held up against all these new revelations that she may have been cheating on your dad while he was in the hospital?
Jake has been having a lot of issues with the speculations being made. All I know is what Gretchen has told me which was that Jay was a good friend who she had seen a ways back, my dad never liked that guy and obviously for a good reason.

I do believe that they had a thing but I don’t really care, my dad loved Gretchen but I’m almost certain he never would have married her. I think Jay is a selfish manipulative jerk, and just wants the exposure from the story. He doesn’t give a rats ass that when he degrades Gretchen he is also degrading my father, and that makes things a lot harder for our family to be okay with. I hold a lot of resentment for people who only care about themselves and never think about the consequences of their actions. He is a sad excuse of a human being.

I should have included that the above information was an interview with Jeff's daughter, Jill.

I, too am happy this season is finally over. What a pathetic group of women. They all came out looking so bad in this reunion show - even my fav, Jeana. I have just a few observations. I was amazed with Cracky's answer when Andy asked her what she loves about Donn. She replied with something like "what I love about him is how he loves me". Can you get more narcissistic?! Did anyone else notice how odd Lynn's lips looked when she started crying? I don't mean to pick on a girl when she's sad, but they looked like two stiff boards. Is that what happens when your lips are shot full of collagen? Lastly I want to thank you Yenta - without you this season would have been unbearable!

Whew, huge sigh of relief. I'm not going to go through their antics at the reunion since you did it so beautifully. I'm still giggling picturing you as a "little yenta".

I will say that you have awoken my inner entreprenuer. I'll be making 24K gold chicken wire tv screen food protectors for use while watching any Real Housewives series. I'll be selling them on ebay.

Thanks for such great recaps all season.

The very first question that Andy asked Jeana was about Cara having fake boobs. Then jeana said "You will have to ask Cara about that", then she said 'yes they are fake'. What happened to asking cara??
Tamra reminds me of a very mean girl that i went to middle school with. She was rich, popular and mean. Mean to kids like me. Tamra even looks like this girl.
The part about Jay calling Tamra made no sense. Why would he call her???
Oh Vicki.....remember when you would buy your darlings beer b/c they were underage???? Dont be a hypocrit vicki.
I am a nurse and I have been around many people when they die. Never once has someone near death sat up in their bed and gave someone a 'final hug'. People dying from a disease like cancer are usually in a coma-like state by the time death comes.
I dont think I could have stood one more episode of the dysfunctional women. But, I will pray for them.
I will be praying for all of ya'll, too!! take care.
rebecca

I guess I will never fully have a real "favorite" among these messes.

Lynne was maybe the closest but she's borderline comatose and I hate her daughter's but at least her husband loves her...which leads me to Jeana. Now, she had her moments where she could have been the hero had we never met her husband or sons. But maybe when the cameras are off there really is something to her that Bravo didn't show us. I mean, when those in your life that are SUPPOSED to loved you hate and even threaten to bring physical harm upon you, well, something's not adding up.

Tamra's tendency to be lodged up Vicky's ass mixed with the fact that she was way jealous of Gretchen, just led to her self-distructing on my TV.

As for Vicky. I don't know which of her Sybil personalities I hated most. The whore who flirted and leg-humped everything with a penis that looked her direction or the neglected loving wife who just wanted her husband's approval or the business woman who had time for none of it...or Pookie the 45 pound crack head who lives under the over pass. Phew!

Is Jill the daughter who was on Rock of Love? In the recaps, the girl who was Jeff's daughter was always referred to as "Sporty Ho" so I'm not sure what her name is!

Is it just me, or is Jeana starting to remind anybody else of Wynonna Judd? Or maybe it's that other country singer who married Garth Brooks?

People used to talk about actresses like Raquel Welch having silicone breasts back in the '70s. They weren't implants, though. I'm not sure what the process was, but breast enhancement has been done for many years. I've heard it mentioned regarding Dolly Parton ('70s or '80s) as well.

Lynne is about the only one of these hos that seems relatively human. She's a bad mother, yeah, but she seems to be an ok person.

Maybe hugging Gretchen was the last thing Jeff did before he faded away and she is just exaggerating. You know, maybe he hugged her and then died several days later.

I'd like to know more about Jeff's obituary and where it can be found. He sounded like an interesting guy. I'd also like to see its reference to Gretchen as a "paid companion."

You missed the part when Cracky, its too easy, attempted to make all about her. Well when she tried to make it more about her. When Lynne was crying she said,"but I have cried too Lynne." As if that excuses Vicki's cruel actions and words. Vicki isn't how people treat you, it is how you treat other people. It pisses me off when people don't have do any self reflection. They just live life hogging up the left hand lane, going slow, with their heads up their ass. Thinking it is all about them and doesn't the world and everyone just owe them everything. These women are just the tip of the iceberg of what is out there. Sorry this show gets my panties all in a twist.

Phew...it's done. Yenta, I want to say I only watched because I wanted to be "in" on the jokes while reading your recaps; however, I really found my inner sadist and watched each episode more intently than I intended.

That was my confession.

Tamra--what the eff was up with your face and hair? You are far from the hottest housewife in O.C. Methinks it may be your evil insides leaking out of the overly tightened pores.

Vicki--go away.

Pixie,

Being the RoL fan that I am, I can tell you that Jenny was the daughter on that show. I don't remember her making an appearance on Housewives. According to what I've read online, she and Jeff may or may not have been estranged. I don't think they were, because I did read something somewhere(reliable I know!)that indicated he had given her his blessing to go the show. It may have been on bravofan or realfauxhousewives. Jenny only lasted a couple of episodes before Bret sent her packing so she could "take care of her soul" is how he put it I believe. Big of him, don't you think?

If you'll excuse me, RoL is about to start, and I still need to tease my hair.

I forgot to ask what Jeff's last name was. I wanted to google it and see if i could find his obit.
Tamara is nutts if she thinks someone would want to buy her old nasty implants. I dont think she could sell them on ebay b/c they were in her body and probably considered a body part. Make me gag to think about it.

Tamra's story about Jay: While I have really grown to dislike Tamra, I think she was telling the truth. I assume Jay called Tamra because he was mad at Gretchen and knew he would get back at her by calling Tamra. Gretchen's story totally falls flat: If he was a "stalker" who made a move on you, why are you still hanging out with him? Why did you invite him to Bass Lake? Clearly he is not a stalker.

Also: Why are you out at a party 'til 1am while your fiance is in the hospital, and you are going to spend the next day at the racetrack filming? It really makes me wonder how she spent any time with Jeff at all. I'm still not sure what was up with Gretchen the whole time.

Sheiney: Thanks for confirming what I thought about Vicki bringing her son beer. That was the first thought I had after she made that comment.

Yenta, thanks to your references to the OC Register, I spent about an hour reading it on-line. I might have to get a subscription! Do you think they deliver to Indiana?

I don't know where I have been but I didn't know one of Jeff's daughters was on Rock of Love! Are you all talking about Love Bus, and the girl with the white neck but brown face who was crying about her dad dying? Oh my!

I believe that Gretchen and Jeff did have a relationship of convience, and so what? They both knew what they were doing and that's all that matters. Jeff had been married 5 times and was wealthy. I doubt he was that dense. As long as Gretchen brang him happpiness in the end is all that matters.

Tamra is pathetic. Why on God's green Earth does she care so much about Gretchen's morals? Its very weird. She needs to be concerned about her terrible son's morals before anyone else's.

Vicki refuses to be held accountable for anything! How did Lynn make you cry? What does that have to do with her crying now? Does that somehow lessen Lynn's emotions because you cried too?

Jeana, poor Jeana. I hope she realizes that making excuses for poor behavior by the men in her life is only making it worse.

Thanks for the great recaps.

"I've heard it mentioned regarding Dolly Parton ('70s or '80s) as well."

Quite a number of women with already large breasts get implants to reduce the sagging effect that occurs as they age.

Breast implants have been around for decades. It like most plastic surgery was actually originally used for reconstructive purposes say injuries or birth defects or to repair damage from surgical procedures. A number of women have mismatched sized breasts so they get implants to even them out as well as make it look like they didn't have their breasts removed due to cancer or what some sicko did to them while attacking them.

Breast implants can reverse a lot of psychological damage due to injuries or physical abnormalties in a woman's chest.

Despite what some people say one's apperance does have an effect on their psyche and no amount of counseling can do anything about it.

I must confess that not only do I love Yenta's recaps, but some of the comments have me gasping for air as well. You guys always make my days a little bit better.

Oh Yenta - I've tried to convince myself that the only reason I watched the reunion was so that I could truly enjoy your recap. And a great recap it is.

Vicki and her "you made me cry, too" was just beyond delusional and pathetic. I was truly surprised at Jeanna's snipe at Lynne, then she did not even seem remorseful that she had made Lynne cry. Tamara was just full of vitriol, and Gretchen appeared to be lying about Jay.

I guess what gets me about these house hos is that from their backstories it appears that they all grew up in average, middle class settings. What makes them now think that they are so far above everyone else and their shit don't stink? I don't mean to say that being born into privledge gives you a free pass to be a bitch, just that I am surprised by the way these woman act like some sort of royalty. Hard to say if I will watch next season - but if Yenta' recapping, I'll most likey watch so I can fully enjoy her reports! (and it's a great excuse to drink vodka martinis.....).

Real? The only thing real about these "ladies" (and I am using that term in the loosest sense possible) is their delusion.

Vicki, Vicki, Vicki. She's as needy as a puppy dog. I just finished watching the NYC housewives and I was CRACKING UP! I told my husband I would love to pit Vicki against Ramona. Those are the biggest "me me me" women on TV.

HOW did Lynne make Vicki cry? Because she had the nerve to disagree with Vicki? That she voiced her opinion that she thought it was tacky for Vicki to tell Gretchen how to get money out of Jeff before he died?? That just showed how much more class Lynne has. Tamra could have taken some lessons from her!

What do you mean, Vicki, when you say you wouldn't allow your children to treat you the way Jeana's children treat her? Your son sucks. He's the most useless user on the show. Even worse than Tamra's son, in my opinion. Your little loser only came back home to "join the business" because he thinks he can get more money out of you. Does this mean he dropped out of college?? But how can that be? I thought he was perfect! His behavior on the cruise is exactly how he'll be acting in 30 years. "MY fun and MY feelings will come first - ahead of my wife, ahead of my children." And that, Vicki, is thanks to your parenting skills. Looks like maybe you and Jeana had the same teacher?

And I'd bet my hard-earned dollars that sonny boy came home drunk more than once. I like your daughter, but your son is a waste of space. A lot like you.

And everytime you scream "Woo-hoo!" in that shrill, cracked voice, my upper lift curls up on the left side. It's automatic. Weird.