Ahh, Yenta, again you did not disappoint!! The "Gretchen knocking the girl off the pole" was priceless. Poor, Poor Lynne. Does she realize that vegaterians do not need horseradish for their shrimp? I was cracking up when she asked the poor waiter where she should put her horseradish.LOL... And I think she should always wear open toe shoes when playing Bingo, whoops I mean blackjack, how else is she going to be able to count to 21?? And Wow, you don't know if the house has AC or not. Even though the big machine makes a loud noise sometimes?? I'm starting to get a little scared of Lynne. Gretchen didn't waste a second getting to Vegas. No matter that the "love of her life" just got home after weeks (or months) of being in the hospital... I cracked up when they sat at the blackjack table and Jeana wanted to know what Gretchen was looking for "another sugardaddy"? It's almost over Yenta, I think one more eppy before the reunion... You go girl!!

did anyone hear Lynne's airhead quote - "what stays in Vegas, stays in Vegas?" It's only the most common saying that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, but Lynne manages to screw that up. She needs to step away from the bong every so often.

Lynne is indeed a scary bitch. I always wondered why she has such a vacant look in her eyes, it's because she's actually VACANT BEHIND THE EYES!

And everytime I try to feel for Gretchen she fucks it up. That man looks like death and she goes for a girls weekend? WTF?

Great recap hon!

Yenta, I thnk your on to something with the diet pill theory. Jeanna just seemed off, not her normal self. And Lynne, bless her heart. Good thing Frank found her and thinks she's the shit, otherwise methinks she would have ended up in a doublewide somewheres, cooking up meth with her high school sweetheart.
Yenta, doesn't it scare you that you know these gals all too well? OOh, love Breana too! Another great recap, thanks.

I meant "you're" instead of your. I hate when people do that.

Yenta, another week, another awesome recap. I don't understand how Breana turned out so awesome when she has such a fuckwit for a mother.

I am totally with you on loving Lynne, except for the teenie tiny detail that she's raising kids. Bratty ones no less!

I loved when her mom told her she was an enabler, and she had that proud moment look, then it looked like she hit a glitch in her software. Wait, was that a compliment? Enabler is good, right? hahahahaha.

I could go on and on and on, but you've said it all already, much better than I could.

LOVE! SWAK, PottyMouth

"Am I crazy for liking the original better?" No, Yenta, you are not. She's gone from looking as cute as a teddy bear to looking like Vicki. Shame on that doctor for doing the surgery, shame on the daughter for encouraging it, and shame on that woman for letting her natural beauty go ;)

I liked the original of Tamra's mom better too. There is nothing attractive about having Joan Rivers eyes. Also, can you imagine what kind of man Tamra is going to find for her mother? I'm a little scared, since I feel like Simon is sort of a good judgment fluke in the train wreck that is Tamra's life.

Also, I'm so glad that someone else pointed out that Lynne totally messed up the "what happens in Vegas..." slogan. Her vacant mind is starting to get on my nerves a little bit.

I'm nervous for next week's "I can't get over my parent's divorce" episode. I feel like I might have to fast forward through most of that BS.

I heard Lynne say "What stays in Vegas,Stays in Vegas", what a moron! (and a piss poor excuse for a mother). I do like Gretchen, she is a fun girl, but exactly how old is she? I thought she was 30, but on the 'pricey dildo' episode, she said she graduated 25 yrs ago, so that would make her the same age as me, 43. Jeff looked really bad, at least his children were there to take care of him. I got a feeling that when Jeff dies, it wont take Gretchen long to find someone new.
Oh,Brianna~~ I love this girl! She works, she looks wore out at the end of the day. She is a normal size. I am also a nurse, and at the end of a 12 hr shift, I am ready to drop~~ Belive me, there isnt a body fluid out there that I havent stepped in or had splattered on me. It is good to see a working girl on that train-wreck of a show.
Shame on Jeana's parents for not visiting her in CA. If Stevie can do it, then so can they!

fatgirsrule:
"Shame on Jeana's parents for not visiting her in CA. If Stevie can do it, then so can they!"
I'm going to disagree with you on that one. I know first hand how difficult is is to travel with an elderly, infirm person. Jeana has the means, time and health to make a visit to her parents home in Wisconson, which is right next door to Kane County, IL where she travels to see that disrespectful eldest spawn of hers. How greatful would her sis be to get a break now and then from caring for mom & dad?

shantigal:
I was trying to be funny, but I guess it didnt work.

Have we ever discussed Jeana's mole? There is a mole on her right chin that always kind of jumps out at me...with all the botoxing, boob jobs etc you would think that mole would have gotten the ax by now. Sorry...this is a very random thought :) I like Jeana, just not her mole.

I recently rented the first season of RHOC. It really brought home how much most of these women have changed. Not sure whether it's from being on a reality show, the botox, the crack or the diet pills, but whatever the reason, the change is not good. The only one who has not gone downhill is Jeana. Yenta, your recaps continue to be the best part of this show!

Tillee:
I have never noticed the mole, but will make sure to look the next time. I would never,ever get a boob job, plastic surgery of any kind,botox, something lifted,something tightened,etc.... BUT, I would have a mole removed. I hate moles.......and fake boobs. And Fake People.

First words when viewing this blog. Holy shit, that is a billboard size Vicki head. Yikes! How can they spring that on unsuspecting drivers? Yenta how could you spring that on us unsuspecting readers?

Actually it was good times in my house this morning when I was greeted with the scary robot woman designed to resemble Vicki. I am still wondering at the magical powers of airbrushing. Because her skin doesn't look orange and her cheeks seem to be free of the orange peel skin, the tell tale signs of cellulite.

THANK YOU, yenta for your always funny as hell blogs. These women remind me so much of my friend's parents. At the end of the season instead of the reunion show with Andy Coen. They should surprise them with a reunion show run by Dr. Drew. Maybe he can shed a light on these women's behaviors and then the healing could start for them, their kids and for the rest of us. That have spent our Tuesdays getting scarred by Vicki being Vicki. I almost cut a bitch in class today. She was highlighting with a blue highlighter which is my FAVORITE HIGHLIGHTER!

AND---olderandwiser---I was thinking the same thing after watching the marathon of the last season of RHOC. I was thinking how much these women have changed, but if you look closely the cracks in the facades were already there. For the most part they seemed all sweet, nice and they actually seemed like friends,

You could tell that when the perfect storm of semi fame, stress, botox and competition from a younger housewife. These women were going to let the catty out, the back stabbing, trying to give your friend alcohol poisoning and the betrayal would begin. They really have turned their backs on who they used to be or they were just really good at hiding it the first couple of seasons. Because some of their personalities are there, just not in full bloom.

I also think that the editors and PAs have created a show that forces the ladies to show their darker side.

A random aside: Kim Zolack from the Atlanta season has started a new blog and it is worth reading just because it is so full of inane drivel. And because of the you tube clips of the Bonnie Hunt Show. Bonnie makes fun of Kim auditioning for American Idol. Kim posted these clips to her blog because she thought Bonnie was complimenting her. Still our delusional Kim. You need to check it out. Just stop reading before your eyes start bleeding. It is a good waste of five minutes at least you get a laugh.

fatgirlsrule:
It takes me a while sometimes, especially on a Sunday morn, to get it. I just took it too seriously since my siblings all left town and I'm caring for the folks.

I wander if anyone else noticed how poor Jeff was reacting to Gretchen and her antics after his return from the hospital. I could not help but feel that he was getting really irritated, and kind or short with her, especially during dinner. He must have REALLY hated the cameras in his house while he was barely alive, and her behavior was just atrocious. Plus she seemed so COLD to him! She was polite, and wanted to come across as caring, but it all reeked of bulls**t, and he probably could see thru it, and that's why he had such a bad outlook on everything.
And I just want to say one final thing. My husband had been ill for a time a while back. I did not spend one minute away from him - I took a time off without pay though we could scarcely afford it, but his wellbeing was more important to us than money; I slept in his room, in a sitting position, on a plastic chair every night, with my head on his bed with an extra pillow nurses had given me; drove home in the mornings to shower and change clothes, and was right back by his side thru all the procedures and other crap he had to undergo. It never occurred to me to 'go refill my tank' as Gretchen says, or to look to his family members to 'help me out with shifts at the hospital' because it ‘was wearing me out’. I knew that my presence was the only thing he needed and wanted (other than medical care) and I was more than happy to provide it. I never considered it sacrifice; I was truly happy I could do anything to help him thru it. And at those moments when we were apart, I could not think of anything else but him and his health, and I would just burst into tears worrying about what may happen to him, especially while I was away. Thank God he pulled thru, and we came out of it stronger as a couple and cemented together forever because it was a 'joint ordeal'.
I get sick to my stomach every time they show Gretchen and her antics. It really breaks my heart to watch her try to make herself out to be a regular Mother Teresa, and listen to her talk of SACRIFICE she HAD to make to care for him!!!! You Fuc*ing WHORE! You didn’t even work anymore because he was supporting you; you had nothing else to do but be with him. And as long as he was healthy it was great – sugar daddy spoiling his princess, SPOILED ROTTEN Attention Grabbing, classless Whore! But when he got sick suddenly you are ‘sacrificing your life for this man!!??!?!?!?’ WTF????? This sacrifice must really had taken a lot out of you, what with all the running around with your ass on fire, laughing and chasing men and attention, grinding and humping on anything that moves, dancing and drinking, going away on vacations and trips, and generally being a total WHORE while this poor, poor man was dying ALONE in the hospital bed.
I sincerely prey that Jeff did not get a chance to see this crap on TV. And as for Gretchen - Karma is a BITCH. Just you wait.

Great recap as always. But I shuttered at the use of the word, hubby. I am on a one woman's quest to bring a halt to the use of that word.

Although the ladies of this show make me shutter more, so maybe I have my priorities wrong.

Are we going to see more of your book? I have been fully engaged with the characters!

This episode was too deep! Haha. Jeana needs to find a man or something because this pasive aggressive bitchiness is getting on my nereves.
Tamra is as annoying as ever, and I couldn't care less about her abandonement issues with her father. Also, I found it funny about when Tamra was talking about the effect the divorce had on her mother, and how it left her mother "souless" or something...are you sure Tamra? It sounded to me like Tamra was making stuff up about her mother's feelings. Also, Tamra is 40 and her parents got divorced when she was 25, so its been 15 years. That quite a long time, but hey, maybe the situation is deeper than vapid Tamra is letting on.

Gretchen really upset me this week. I was growing to like her and still do to an extent, but the fact that she went on a vacation the weekend Jeff came back from 2 months in the hospital is unforgivable and makes her look more like a gold digger. I'm sure the women would have understood if she had backed out of the trip. I'm just going to blame this situation on editing, because I don't want to believe that she would do something so bad.

Renata, I completley understand where you're coming from. It doesn't make any sense that Gretchen acts the way she does. However, I think Jeff knew what he was getting into with Gretchen and I think they both had an understanding of what it was about. Jeff wasn't stupid and had been married 5 times before. I think he just wanted to have a hot young thing by his side who would be easy to plactate with money, and that's what he got. I bet his last years were fun and lighthearted with her, which I believe is what he wanted.

I did notice "The Mole" on Jeana's chin while watching last night. Yea, you would think she would get that chopped off. I also noticed that while the ladies were at the blackjack table that Lynne said something about "are those drinks? how do you get one?" and someone said, "You have to order one". Good thing that what Stays in Vegas Stays in Vegas. Anyone notice how unflattering Lynne's body looked when she was dancing at the end? For someone who is so concerned about how they look and afraid of some fat, she sure does have a gut and some 'not so tight skin' around her butt and hips. The look on Jeana's face when the Boy was talking to her....that was so funny!! Vicki's 'date' looked like Dereck Jeter even with the blurred face. Surely Jeter isnt that lonesome......who knows!
Oh, and I am not defending Gretchen, but as a Hospice nurse, Long Term Facility Nurse, Trauma Nurse and presently a Peds Nurse (which is my calling), people deal with grief in their own way. Some people do run the other way when death is near. I have seen families who never left their loved ones bedside,and I have seen families who couldnt be found when death was near. I have had patients who wanted to be alone when dying and refused to let their families at their bedside. Avoiding the issue and carrying on with daily activities is common. Believe me, I have seen it over and over. That might be what is going on with Gretchen,IDK... Oh well, have a nice day, it is gonna be 66 in NC today!!

Big hugs to you Yenta - once again an excellent recap! Screencap of Lynne and Mom - the.best.ever. - I snorted coffee so hard it nearly came out my nose.

When Briana talked about bodily fluids, Vicki looked like one of the Stepford Wives robots with a short circut. What a piece of work! And please don't tell Vicki, but I LOVE Grey Goose vodka martinis with blue cheese stuffed olives. Does she think she invented them? Loser...

Agree with posters - Jeana seemed off and cranky this epi. Maybe it was the editing, but not quite herself.

Lynne - OMG. Yes, by all means don't wake your precious daughter up by running the blender. Get a grip, woman! You are NOT doing these children a favor. Sigh... she came across as mentally dimmer than usual in this show. Very sad.

I hated seeing the part with Jeff at home - struck me that maybe Gretchen pushed for that to be taped so she could show how nurturing and caring she is...before she runs off to Vegas for the weekend.

Would someone please tell me why I still watch this dreck? Oh yeah, it's so I can enjoy Yenta's great recaps. Thanks for the laughs, Yenta!

Featherhead: OMG I thought there were 2 more eppy's to go before the reunion. I so hope your right. Not that I don't love the show, but I'm beginning to feel like I'm writing about guests who refuse to go home!!!

Real_Atlanta_Girl: Yes I am a bimbo. I totally missed Lynne saying that. Sigh!!

Cherie: You are too funny. I'm so glad you decided to take up recapping!!

Shantigal: It truly does worry me that I know these women so well. I mean seriously obsessive worrying. Ah well, on the other hand I get to play in TVgasm and frolic with the gasmii, so who cares if I don't have a life : )

Pottymouth: Breana is truly a small miracle. Love your Hell's kitchen recaps. : )

Anichoo1: Thanks for chiming in on the facelift. I really don't get alot of the plastic surgery fad.

LAjane: I'm completely with you on dreading the Tamra/parental divorce issues. Please, please God let the editors have dropped most of it on the editing room floor.

fatgirlsrule: You are so my hero. I have an obsessive fear of bodily fluids--think Monk and his handiwipes.

Tillee: You are too funny. I never really noticed the mole, but I will definitely look for it next week.

Olderandwiser: I miss season 1. It really is amazing how much the show has changed since then.

Areyoucliff: I'm so sorry to have shocked you with the Vicki head. I probably should have put a warning first : ) I would so love to see the reunion being hosted by Dr. Drew. It would definitely have the best meltdowns ever.

Renata: I'm so sorry you and your husband went through such a tough time. I can imagine that it must be very difficult to watch Gretchen's antics. But you're right karma is a bitch and everybody ages--plastic surgery or not.

Reckless_Saturn: I hope you're all healed up. I was getting worried : ) Just for you I will try to purge hubby from my recaps-I have to admit that the word makes my, er, ahem, 'husband' shudder as well. Thanks for reading my book. I'm planning on posting the whole thing a chapter a week. I promise I won't leave you hanging.

MrsBojangles: You are so right about Jeana needing to find a man. She almost never even smiles anymore.

njgasmifan: I'm so sorry about the coffee : ) You've inspired me--I'm definitely going to try these infamous martinis for this week's episode. Hopefully, if they're as good as you say, they'll numb the pain of watching Tamra deal with her traumatic past.

Thanks so much for taking the time to post your comments.
Love you all,
Hugs,
Yenta

Yenta,
The upcoming "I'm a 40 year old woman who never dealt with my Daddy issues" looks painful beyond belief. I will be hoisting a martini glass with you, girlfriend.

How about next week's recap title, "Mole Patrol"?
I'm sorry Yenta, I am just cracking myself up these days :)
xo Tillee

Yenta, I am so sorry for getting your hopes up. My bad, there are two more eppys. "Are we There Yet" and "Bling". Are you going to recap the New York Housewives? I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Heart.

Renata, I so admire you and the way you supported your husband. I doubt that many people would be able to equal what you did. However, there certainly is a middle ground between what you did and Gretchen! I agree, her constant state of sexual arousal is a bit nauseating. Poor Jeff is paying dearly for his taste for bimbos.

MrsBojangles, I'm not sure that Jeff had "years" with Gretchen. If so, she was also banging other men at the same time, if internet intel is trustworthy.

Breanna is a wonder, but probably messed up in her own way. At least her problems allow her to make a contribution to society and help people. It might also be a good way for her to submerge herself in her work and forget her own pain. (Speaking from experience here.) Bless her, though.

I don't know if Jeana needs a man. It's that kind of thinking that got her Matt! Maybe a fling, but she also needs to deal with a lot of stuff from the Matt years and try to get help for her sons. Well, at least the younger one.

Raquel needs to get earplugs!