I have to say the OC has always been my favorite installment of the housewives, but this year it is seriously letting me down. Tamra is pure evil.. maybe it's editing maybe it is not.... but I agree Karma is a bitch.
Maybe Tamra should get a J.O.B.

Twuntyyyyy!!! You're back!!!

Twunty, that was a fine recap and very funny. I cannot bring myself to watch these wretched women this year, so I will be looking forward to your recaps all the more. Countin' on ya, baby!!!

The first time I saw Tamra this season, I was sure she'd "had some work done" during the break.

Does anyone agree?

[God, I hate that bitch!!]

"If I was rich, single and dying of cancer you better believe that I'd be on the arm of the cutest surfer boy with the biggest wang to ever see the inside of a pair of Jams. I'd buy him whatever the hell he wanted so long as he made my last days rabbit free yet orgasmic."

TWUNTY!!! That brought the LOLZ like nothin else!

The whole recap was incredible. Man, can we be neighbors? Co-workers? Siamese twins? O.o

Really, Tamra and Vicky are the worst. I persnally think that there are very few people in the world who don't talk about and judge other people. But, DAMN, not to their face and in front of a frickin camera crew. You never know what lies in your own future and you can come out with egg all over your smug face. And in Tamra's case...egg and aged leather is not a winning combo!

You know, I actually thought about giving this nuclear trainwreck of a show a chance, but I've decided to rely on you, Twunty, for the lulz and the high-lariousness.

BTW, whatever happened to the My Antonio recaps? They were high-larious!!!

One of the funniest recaps I've read in a long while...your disdain of RHOC shows through beautifully :)

Twunty! Thank you for a hilarious recap. Like uglycutie, the bit about the surfer boy? Made me pee my pants a little.

Thanks for the giggles!

SWAK, PottyMouth

AWESOME recap! Thank you Twunty! You managed to keep just the right amount of snark (LOTS) and keep the recap interesting in a way that was more than a "this and this and this happened" but instead lets us remember (what happened) and go- "oh yeah!" and laugh remembering.

I get it now. Tamara is a mean girl. But she is a DESPERATE mean girl. She has to come up with this Gretchen hate so she'll stick around. I think if anything, Bravo has taught them it is that "You are REPLACEABLE". She doesn't want to be like Atlanta's too nice ex-basketball player housewife,what's her name? She's gone from the show. So she does outrageous things: drunk naked,here son, why don't you take advantage of her- to grabbing her husband's "junk" - to her mean Gretchen hate. The beyotch wants, no NEEDS to keep this JOB. And being a RHW is a job.
Speaking of jobs- how far has Cara come from that spoiled girl to a college kid, waitressing no less. I have hope for her.

Terrific recap--

Slade's a total creep, isn't he??

It was Tamra's mother that had the face lift last year, not Gretchen's. I remember this because I watched Tamra happlily place her mother in an "after care facility", after the surgery.

This, from the woman who swore she'd never leave a member of her family in the hospital while they needed her. (while calling Gretchen out for going to Bass Lake while Jeff was in the hospital).

What's up with these women, they supposedly make all this money and not one of them thought to save any of it?? What a bunch of losers.

You're the best! Thanks for the laughs

Jeepers, Twunty, that was terrific!

I'm totally with you on some seriously horrible karma coming back to Slade McSmileyfuckerdoodle. Latching on to Gretchen in a desperate attempt to remain "relevant" is just sick and sad and nine kinds of annoying. I thought we were through with him after that horrible "Date My Ex" crapshow. Nice body or not, he's a massive asshole and the kind of douche I see in L.A. all the time who think he's God's gift and looks down on everyone else.

I know people love the Keoughs and all, but I tend to vehemently disagree, and actually I feel some satisfaction in seeing Kara have to budget shop after her and Jeana were making fun of and simultaneously ignoring the "bummers" that lived in the park near her fabulous apartment in Berkeley last season. It's about time she learned that hard times and severe lifestyle slides are not always the result of being lazy or stupid or non-white-O.C.-ites. It's going to be interesting to see how Jeana tries to play off her departure as NOT being the direct result of trying to extort more cash out of Bravo to keep her on the show.

Thanks for another great recap, the only hope I have left for something worth watching will be if the new girl actually grabs a candelabra and whops Crackie Vickie over the head with it when they get into their little tiff. Gwretchen (& Slayed), Tamiflu, Slurry can all just toddle off into the drunken sunset and drown for all I care.

love, J-Mo :)

Excellent recap!!! You rocked it.

So I'm confused Lynne is about to get kicked out of her house in a few episodes from now because they haven't paid rent but they are getting plastic surgery. What is wrong with this picture? This is why we are in the financial crisis we are in.

Ok I don't know all of Slade's shenanigans from Season 1 or 2 I didn't watch then but I can not get over the fact that he looks so much like Tori Spelling's husband Dean McDermott. Every time Slade is on screen I expect Tori to leap out with her messed up boobs and screech about her mother or being broke or something.

It just weirds me out. And Tamra is a jealous ho-bag.

Did anyone see Tamra, Alex, and Jeana on George Lopez' late-night talk show? Funny stuff.

What I don't understand about these OC women is why are they not trying to capitalize on their reality show "fame" like the housewives from Atlanta and New York did? For fuck sakes if Kim Zoliack can make money off of singing than these ladies are capable of coming up with some sort of scam to make money off their adoring fans. Romona, of the New York housewives, is making bank by selling crappy jewelry on OVC.

And Twunty it was Tamara's mom who had the face lift last year.

And Lynn you are the worst mother of all time. You make Kate Gosselin look like the patron saint of motherhood. Sorry I had to throw in a Kate Gosselin jab because, yes, she still bothers me. The way to help you daughter with her self esteem issues is not to get her a new nose. Thus enforcing and rewarding her belief that her worth is tied to her appearance, but to that we all have an intrinsic value and worth simply by being. We are defined more by the choices we make than what we look like. Jesus that lady is fucked in the head. But isn't most everyone that appears on this show?

I read somewhere that Vicki has started her own "insurance school" called Coto University or something to that effect. I remember Bravo filming her on a cruise that she set up to teach people how to get into the insurance business. One of the passengers/students Bravo interviewed said she was an exotic dancer from Vegas who loved this show, saw how successful Vicki was/is, and decided to follow in her footsteps.

I will hate to see Jeana leave. She seems to be the only one with any sense whatsoever, even if she lets the men in her life run over her like a dog. It's good to see her daughter at least working and spending her own money. Slurry's kids should take note.

Twunty,

Did you ever see the episode of "I Love Lucy" where she and Ethel sport "designer" dresses that Ricky had made of burlap feed sacks? Lucy and Ethel wear them because they were told that this was the latest fashion in Paris.

I have a feeling Brianna has never seen that episode poor girl. The only thing missing was the bucket on her head and she would have been a dead ringer for Ethel.

Tamra is vile. I can't wait until Vicki drops her as a friend when the money goes bye bye. The only thing that would make this perfect, would be Crackie losing her house too.

Just think, if Donn leaves, he gets half of Crackie's empire. And then it will be Crackie clipping coupons and doing home face lifts to save cash.

Great job Twunty, lots of laughs as usual.

TVannie

If Roxanne would just cut off that nasty unkept hair, she would look much better and she would look her age. Did anyone see vicki,Jenna and Lynn on Dr. Phil?

Who's Roxanne?

I was looking at the website set up by Slade's baby mama for his terminally ill son. It's so sad. What a cute kid. What a bastard Slade is! If he wants to flaunt his schlong and show how studly he thinks he is why doesn't he get a job at a male strip club and make some money to pay for his kid's medical expenses! Douchebag bastard!

fatgirlsrule....OMG!! so sorry I missed the Dr. Phil trainwreck. What did they say and what advice did he try to give to them??

BTW....loved all your snarky comments on Toddlers and Tiaras recaps! :-)

Isnt Lynn's Oldest train wreck of a daughter named Roxanne? Maybe I am wrong, I dont know.