I laughed and laughed at the doggy life jackets, but then I noticed the handle on top, and wondered if they had the handler for the toddlers model? That could be useful! I don't hate Gretchen, and I adore Lynne, except where her parenting skills are concerned. Vickie was WAY too defensive at the lunch, yep, I think she thinks THEY think she doesn't treat Donn very well! Great recap, keep up the good work!

Your recaps never let me down. When they were having the discussion about Jeff's life insurance I couldn't help but think that if Gretchen said she was getting 20% of his policy Vicki would have called her a gold digger behind her back. That was a lose/lose conversation for her.

love your recaps, but what's with the awful, grainy screen grabs two weeks in a row?

Yenta,
My neck hurts from nodding "YES" so much while reading! You just always nail these BI's right on the head... THANK YOU.

Funny how Lauren had no problem with her future ex MIL called a crack ho each week - but don't you dare call Michael chubby!!

Gretchen's rant about the ex was way outta line. Really honey, it's not all about you. And I did feel a little sorry for Lynne the way Jeana and Crack Mama were jumping on her for making the point that this was a delicate conversation to have with a dying man.

Not much else to say, these ladies are almost caricatures of themeselves these days. Yenta, hope the family drama is over- big hugs for the laughs!

PS - I also Googled Cuff Luv (I know, gotta get a LIFE) and discovered the name belongs to someone else. Some businesswoman, that Lynne.....

Oh Yenta...I fell in love with your recaps while watching RHO New York. I'm a Manhattan-ite, so I started watching out of morbid curiosity and your recaps hooked me. Then, Atlanta came along and it was the most wonderful gift that Bravo has ever given me. I decided to try the OC Originals this season, and I'm completely bored with it and find just about everyone on the show to be completely unlikeable. I need me some NeNe, STAT!

I may just give up and stick to your recaps. Loved the "make the bed and cook me breakfast joke."

You rule.
DS

While I watched this episode, I kept laughing--trying to guess what you'd pick to recap. Then came the motherlode...Vicky on her ass. Karma is quite the bitch.

Silver -
for real! that was the money shot of the entire epi... and yes,I agree- Karma is quite the bitch!

I couldn't believe that Lynne had the audacity to claim that she works hard and that whew, making cuffs really hurts her hands. I was trying so hard to like Lynne as she is the best of the worse. The cream of the crop would be just pure hyperbole. But when she came out with that delusional drivel about working hard. I was like come on how can you say that when people are losing their jobs, can't afford to feed their families and work 10-12 hour days. You, my friend, are creating custom, crap love cuffs with costume jewelry and leather that was made by children in China. Ask them how hard they work and then check back in with me.

Also Jeanna and Vicki were so tacky at the lunch with Gretchen and Lynne. You can tell that they have zippy self confidence because of how pissed they got that Lynne would dare weight in with a dissenting voice.

BUT...BUT...Vicki falling down was a blessing from the lord above and I am not a believer until that moment. Thank you and I hate to shout karma at moment like that. But how about we told you so. Oh Vicki that crazy crack head.

GREAT JOB ON THE OLD RECAP!!

Oh yeah the best part of Vicki falling down. Is that they replay her getting hit in the head with a football.

Vicki on her ass, in front of her esteemed colleagues, all is right with the world once again. I hope, hope that she bites it in at least one more epi before the end of the season.

They showed a close up of Lynne's hands when she was calling Gretchen on the morning after. I know 83 year olds with nicer looking paws than that. Yuck. These gals crack me up with their cantaloupe boobs and liver spotted decolletages. That's hot.

Wow, what a confounding episode. Gretchen's hesitance to get the deathbed executor rights almost makes me think she's legit. I am progressively liking Lynne; although she's not an earner, she cut through the bullshit by saying about Gretchen: "Is she ever gonna have to worry? I mean, look at her." G. is a bombshell and can coast/earn on her looks. I love Jeana and hope she gets her self-esteem bolstered. Vicki got deserved come-uppance when she wiped out....I wish Donn would grow a pair and ditch her. What a freakish bitch!

Yenta, you just tickled me to death (borrowing my southern friends expression) with your sidenote to Lauren. Too Funny, I couldn't stop laughing. I didn't see her jump up to help her crack-head mother-in-law. In fact, I didn't see anyone rush to help her up! I did see alot of people giggling though. LOL. I told you that the creepy Gretchen/Ryan hook-up was going to turn out to be nothing! I just had that feeling. Those damn editors!!

Hey Gasmi,
I'm so glad to be home!!!

Valmommyt: A girlfriend of mine who has toddlers said the same thing when she saw the handle on my pup's lifejacket. After she stopped laughing, she actually had someone make and sew handles onto her kid's lifejackets. And I agree, Vicki is definitely sporting a guilty conscience when it comes to Donn.

Sheiney: I totally agree, the life insurance convo was definitely a setup, but Gretchen made the most of it. She came off looking okay.

Real_Atlanta_Girl: Sorry about the screengrabs. I've been having issues adjusting to the new software and loading pics. But darling Flipit seems to have a solution, so hopefully next week we'll be better.

Njgasmifan: I was feeling a little bad for Lynne, as well. Girl doesn't seem to have much luck with the housewives. Which is kind of ironic if you figure that she actually is a housewife. Thanks for the kind words, I'm hoping the family drama is done for the time being.

Dogsnaxx: I so wish we had NeNe around to slap these women into shape. Sigh!! But the NYC hausenfrau will be back in a couple of weeks!!

Silver: If the producers could just arrange for Vicki to fall on her ass every week. Surely that's not too much to ask :)

Areyoucliff: I was surprised by how defensive Vicki and Jeana were during the life insurance convo as well. Lynne wasn't even putting up that much of an argument. I really think that the diet pills they're taking are not helping the situation.

Shantigal: "Cantaloupe boobs and spotted decolletages" HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Luvs it!

Lyo: I'm progressively liking Lynne as well. I just wish somebody would adopt her kids...

featherhead: You were so right about the creepy hookup. And thank God, because I really don't know if I could have stomached any other outcome. Actually, it kind of amazed me that it took so long for anybody to come forward to help Vicki out. It was like they were all frozen in fear of how she was going to react.
Thanks so much for reading and posting your comments. You totally make my day.

Hugs,
Yenta

Yenta, I just read an interview with the crackhead herself and it was too funny. She goes on and on how she is misunderstood and what a nice person she really is, how she cries and prays everynight, but they don't show that. She doesn't like Lynn and Gretchen, she doesn't even have their phone numbers, I know can you believe it?? How Gretchen is not the person everybody thinks she is, but Cracky is not going to spill the beans, she'll let Tamra tell it. Whine, whine, whine. She's delusional I tell ya!!

It's such a shame that Jeff's illness has precluded her from getting enough camera time to take a major role this season.

lolololol

It seems like by living in CA, that Lauren would have a tan and not be so ghost white. but, anyway, I still hate fake titties and this show had lots of em. to bad the little kids have to see so much drinking, inappropriate touching, fake tits, Ryan, etc.....
Did anyone else notice how flabby Tamras stomach looked when she had the bikini on? looked like the legs had lots of celluite also. instead of a boob job, maybe she should have gotten some 'tightening' done.
Who pays that much for a vibrator? KMart has some really cool body massagers with a gel head that gets warm and they are on sale for $9 bucks! can you believe that? And it works as well as any $1000 vibrator works!
Also, I am sure that Jeff has already made financial plans for Gretchen. And if he hasnt, then maybe she will think twice before she shacks up with another sugar daddy. Why doesnt Jeff marry Gretchen before he dies? Could it be that he doesnt want her to have anything and does want his kids to get it all??
Oh, did i mention how creepy ryan is? I would not let him fuck me with somebody else's dick.

OH, By the way, why doesnt TVGasm recap the Duggar's and Jon&Kate??? Those shows are wack!

OH, By the way, why doesnt TVGasm recap the Duggar's and Jon&Kate??? Those shows are wack!

OH, By the way, why doesnt TVGasm recap the Duggar's and Jon&Kate??? Those shows are wack!

"Who pays that much for a vibrator? KMart has some really cool body massagers with a gel head that gets warm and they are on sale for $9 bucks!"

That is what is known as a trailer trash vibrator.

You see there are several social classes of vibrators that have certain common characteristics ala being made or developed by the Japanese, sold in sex shops, sold in high end fashion boutiques. Lets discuss what makes each class unique.

Trailer trash vibrators i.e Walmart vibrators.

These are everyday items that are not listed as sex toys but can be used as such by women see vibrating shower heads, washing machines etc. Also organic matter can be used such as cucumbers.

Middle class vibrators. Actually sold as sex devices and actually look like penises. Usually found in dingy sex shops with semen in the video rooms or if you are lucky to have a sex shop for couples (or single males that don't want filth on their shoes from walking around plus many other disgusting things you find in the regular sex shop) such as Adam & Eve.

The Japanese variety. Sold in sex shops in Japan and at certain online retailers who ship to the US the Japanese variety is the creme de la creme of functionality and is aestithicaly pleasing and has decent costs. The Japanese are truly ahead of the US in terms of sex toy design for women and have certain male devices that are very high quality. These devices are often very pleasing and are way ahead of what the US has in terms of vibrators.

I was in fact quite surprised that the Japaense didn't come out with a streamlined haptic device for male pleasure such as the upcoming Realtouch device for straight men and a version for gay men.

Last we have the novue rich vibrators. Often designed by someone famous such as Dave Stewart of EURYTHMICS and usually are solid steel. These vibrators are actually sold in bouquties that a rich person would gladly step foot in as opposed to a sex shop unless they got a thrill from slumming. Also since they often have a few diamonds on them they often attract the dumb rich women who are attracted to sparkly shiny things.

Said vibrators aren't actually any different from functionality as the middle class ones and aren't as good in performance as the Japanese variety. The only differance from middle class is where the noueve rich vibrators are sold and they aren't realisticly modeled on penises. The lesson is buy Japanese if you want quality, affordability, performance and be aesthitcaly pleasing to the eye.

"Who pays that much for a vibrator? KMart has some really cool body massagers with a gel head that gets warm and they are on sale for $9 bucks!"

That is what is known as a trailer trash vibrator.

You see there are several social classes of vibrators that have certain common characteristics ala being made or developed by the Japanese, sold in sex shops, sold in high end fashion boutiques. Lets discuss what makes each class unique.

Trailer trash vibrators i.e Walmart vibrators.

These are everyday items that are not listed as sex toys but can be used as such by women see vibrating shower heads, washing machines etc. Also organic matter can be used such as cucumbers.

Note that are a few vibrators that can fit multiple classes such as the Hello Kitty Shoulder Massager which achieved legendary status and was highly sought after not only due to how cute it was but how effective it was plus it was designed by the Japanese so it fits the middle class and Japanese social classes.

Middle class vibrators. Actually sold as sex devices and actually look like penises. Usually found in dingy sex shops with semen in the video rooms or if you are lucky to have a sex shop for couples (or single males that don't want filth on their shoes from walking around plus many other disgusting things you find in the regular sex shop) such as Adam & Eve.

The Japanese variety. Sold in sex shops in Japan and at certain online retailers who ship to the US the Japanese variety is the creme de la creme of functionality and is aestithicaly pleasing and has decent costs. The Japanese are truly ahead of the US in terms of sex toy design for women and have certain male devices that are very high quality. These devices are often very pleasing and are way ahead of what the US has in terms of vibrators.

I was in fact quite surprised that the Japaense didn't come out with a streamlined haptic device for male pleasure such as the upcoming Realtouch device for straight men and a version for gay men.

Last we have the novue rich vibrators. Often designed by someone famous such as Dave Stewart of EURYTHMICS and usually are solid steel. These vibrators are actually sold in bouquties that a rich person would gladly step foot in as opposed to a sex shop unless they got a thrill from slumming. Also since they often have a few diamonds on them they often attract the dumb rich women who are attracted to sparkly shiny things.

Said vibrators aren't actually any different from functionality as the middle class ones and aren't as good in performance as the Japanese variety. The only differance from middle class is where the noueve rich vibrators are sold and they aren't realisticly modeled on penises. The lesson is buy Japanese if you want quality, affordability, performance and be aesthitcaly pleasing to the eye.

Blasted commenting errors that make it look like the message didn't go through. We really need a edit/delete function.

Sorry, no trailer trash here! I just know how to budget my money and have a really good orgasm at the same time.

Sorry, no trailer trash here! I just know how to budget my money and have a really good orgasm at the same time.

Feh, I cannot believe I have lowered my trash tv watching standards to religiously watching this tripe. Now, I have seduced my boyfriend into watching it too. Although, we dont have as much fun watching this as we do looking at nipple slips in slow motion on rock of love bus. We are like twelve year old boys when we see nipples on cable TV. anyhoo... I was disapointed that Gretch still hangs out with Tamra like this woman didnt go out of her way to get her sloppy naked wasted like frat boys looking to pull a train. It is as though Nothing Happened.

Then Ryan the date rape creepyMCcreeperton shows back up and gretch probably threw up in her mouth when she sees alien FAS boy in the light of day. I would.

I am so sick of Jeanna's alpha omega Mamma Dogs talk. So no one can voice an opinion different than yours without being chastised for being Rude or Ignorant. And No neck Vicki is insulting Lynne a number of times. Alternating the insults with pulls from her trusty crack pipe. Jeanna... you are not a dog even though drunk old matt treated you like you were one.

Cuff love picked up by Fred Seagel? Are we really sure about this? Looks like some Target jewelry that has had the big red sticker marked clearance on it for a few weeks. No, not a fan. Maybe, at a craft show by the beach. Keep smoking your weed pretty pants. My boyfriend and I decided we did like Lynne the best out of all the ladies, though.

Seeing Vicki land on her cracked out ass was one of the best moments EVER in all of history. I hate her. I really hate her. a lot. and her stupid diet pills too.
Great Recap (of course) miss lady!

Yeschef, it's nice to know that snobbery extends even to the world of vibrators.

Yeschef & fatgirlsrule, a finger or two works just fine, and economical too!

yenta,

Great work as usual. I don't know how you do it, but you are able to explain "Cracky" (that's my little pet name for Vicki) in a way that almost makes her human.

I think you're right, I think she took Gretchen and Lynne's attitudes as somehow an attack on her relationship with Donn.

Can you imagine Vicki putting down her laptop one second for Donn? If that guy goes into the hospital, all you will hear from Vicki is that it really screwed up her availability for work.

I really hope Lynne gets to hit her in a boxing ring. I would pay to see it.

Shantigal: I love the vibrator! it is pretty much effortless. I also have a jetted tub, but can only use it when i am home alone. My kids run in and out of my bathroom to much, and if i lock the door, they keep knocking and knocking....kills the mood.

Shantigal: I love the vibrator! it is pretty much effortless. I also have a jetted tub, but can only use it when i am home alone. My kids run in and out of my bathroom to much, and if i lock the door, they keep knocking and knocking....kills the mood.