And, so, the conversation commences with Laurie asking George where they're going on their honeymoon because she wants to go somewhere romantic. George's romantic suggestion, Dubai. Personally, I'm thinking George isn't too serious, but Laurie is willing to go work with the suggestion and says that she wouldn't mind stopping over in Dubai. You know, just for the shopping, because Dubai is sooooooo commercial. But, what she really wants is some exotic abandoned beach with miles of white sand. George mumbles that she should talk to a certain billionaire, because he has his own island, and he's always in the market to entertain other men's wives.
Nine months is just long enough to give birth to whole new kind of dysfunctional marriage.
Determined to see George's attitude as both interested and helpful, at least in front of the cameras, Laurie goes with the assumption that, if George is introducing this billionaire into the conversation, it must be because George knows him and can arrange the use of his island. George's expression when Lauri asks him to contact this guy and fix things for her is priceless. But, me thinks that Laurie has noticed more than she is letting on, because she's sounding awfully insecure when she asks, "Are you still in love with me, babe?"
George chews, swallows, and nods, "Absolutely." Well, at least he didn't answer her with his mouth full.
Not content, or secure enough, to accept her future ex's answer, Laurie asks that pathetic question that all men love so much, "Why are you still in love with me?" You know, I've got to wonder if perhaps George doesn't have a new secretary?
Thank God for Jeana's more astringent, down-to-earth, personality. Today, she's busy showing the house to Coto's newest housewife/paid companion/best nurse ever, Gretchen Rossi, and, of course, Gretchen's fiancé and personal bank, Jeff. Jeff is a frail looking older fellow that looks like Kenny Rogers about nine months after he signed on as a spokemodel for Nutrasystems weight loss system. Gretchen, on the other hand, looks like the physical embodiment of a straight man's wet dream.
Jeana thinks that Gretchen looks just like Tamra, but I actually think that Tamra is prettier than Gretchen in less perfect kind of way. And, Tamra has an honest, completely self-indulgent, bitchiness that I can't help admiring. I'm a little worried that Gretchen is going to try and convince me that she's only inspired by noble ambitions in life.
I just want to live with lepers, but rich old men keep giving me diamonds.
Jeana's take on Gretchen and Jeff's relationship is that Jeff looks too old for her. But, speaking with the tolerance of an experienced woman, she shrugs, noting that she did the same thing when she was Gretchen's age. Beside, Jo did it with Slade, and we all know how well that worked out. Jo got the ultimate prize, a reality TV spinoff of her own. Woohoo!!!
After watching Gretchen go "yay!" over a big closet and learning that the house was listed at a mere $3.2 million, when it was really worth 4 million, we get to go jewelry shopping. Gretchen likey sparkly, shiny things, and she has no trouble in making her wants known. I have to admire a woman who so unselfconsciously demonstrates pure unadulterated greed. But, when she says "I want you to give me a new set like that," in the voice of an immature two year-old brat, I have to pause the tape and pour out a little whiskey. I'm telling you, a double shot of whiskey straight up, no ice, just a splash of ginger ale, and a twist of lemon, might be enough to get me through the Gretchen segments. Note to Flipit: I'll take payment in the form of intravenous booze for the next 6 weeks.
Pretty please Daddy, can I have that and that and that.
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Comments (18)
Just wanted to let you know that you switched up Jeana's house. The moose was in the family room and the pictures of her in her youth were all over the bedroom. I'm with you, she need to kick Matt out of the house!! Can't stand him!
The conversation between Lori and George was almost painful to watch. Every other word out of her mouth is "Babe" and he seemed to not even want to be there.
Love your recaps and I am still on the fence about Gretchen. I feel bad that he passed away. Reading her blog, it seems he was the one who pushed to be on the show.
1 of 18 | Posted by featherhead | Posted on November 29, 2008 5:08 AM
The Real Housewives of Atlanta was my first bit of exposure to the RH franchise. Boy was this one different! I'm sure things will spice up as the season goes on.
I came away only liking Jeana and Tamra. I agree that Tamra is better looking than Gretchen. I don't know if Gretchen is older or younger than she says she is. She doesn't look 30.
I was kind of surprised at her (Gretchen) going off on Jeff's daughter, Jill, saying that her "job" taking care of Jill's dying father was hard work! It came off as so selfish and, to me, totally exposed her! I kept expecting Jill to call her out as a gold-digger, but she never did. I didn't see any warmth between the two. It was like Gretchen saw Jill as her competition for spending all of Jeff's money. I'm sure knowing Jeff had terminal cancer made her decision to marry him that much easier. "I only have to put up with this guy for a year or two? Where do I sign?" So sad! Ah well, I'm sure Jeff is no saint either, he's had 5 wives!
2 of 18 | Posted by Thatswhatshesaid | Posted on November 29, 2008 3:58 PM
Thatswhatshesaid
Totally, 100% agree with what you said.
3 of 18 | Posted by trister | Posted on November 29, 2008 5:01 PM
I've never seen this show before, but caught just for the heck of it.
I thought Jeff's daughter was a *itch in her own right. Demanding a better car, pouting about having to get a job. I think Gretchen could've handled it better, but the daughter didn't seem real put off by Gretchen, so they obviously have quite a bit of acceptance & familiarity w/each other.
I'm loving Jeana and.... that's about it. But I have to ask? What is up with Lauri's face? How much work has she had done? Between the plastic surgery & the make-up, she looks terrible. No way could she pass for a drag queen.... she's too ugly & worked over.
4 of 18 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on November 29, 2008 6:09 PM
Goodness, I’m so glad it was not just my imagination when Lauri and George were having dinner. I thought he was so bored by her blabber, and there was no real conversation between them at all. He really seems to be soooo over her. Well, that did not take long...
As for Gretchen, for me she might be the most hateful character in all of reality TV. She pretty much came out and admitted that 'Jeff was so generous and giving, that the physical part (that is his non-hotness) was unimportant'. I've never heard a woman describe herself so poignantly and piteously as a total gold digging whore. She is not even that pretty, although she's got a great figure (makes you wander if it too was paid for by Jeff in some plastic surgeon's office). Here is a woman that will do anything as long as there is a shiny object on the other side as a reward. I hate to be so suspicious but from the way she was talking of taking care of Jeff as a 'hard work!!' I think she only accepted his proposal because she knew he was not long for this world. I would like to find out if they actually ever got married, or if she was his 'fiancée' till the end. That would sure put her is quite a precocious position within his family when it came time to read the will. (I know it is wrong to focus on such issues when the poor guy died, but Gretchen is the one who brought it up, so it is now an open topic).
And what is Vicky on? Is she really doing crack? She seems insane at times, on top of being totally delusional. I almost died laughing last season when she described herself proudly as a ‘MILF’. Woman, look in the mirror – you’re as far away from being a MILF as Hilary Clinton.
5 of 18 | Posted by rentaa | Posted on November 29, 2008 6:13 PM
I may be a little bias in my opinion on Gretchen because I actually know her personally. She comes into my work about once a month or so, and she is such a sweetheart. She has talked to me about her fiance, and she really does seem to care about him and love him... not just his money. I know she was really upset when he died. I'm pretty sure she makes good money with her own job, so she's not just a golddigger. And trust me, she really is gorgeous with and without makeup on. Her fun-loving personality on the show really is her. Anyways, I just wanted to let you all know, from someone who has actually met her, give her a chance because she really is a sweet girl.
6 of 18 | Posted by Sgirl | Posted on November 29, 2008 6:45 PM
Agree with what everyone is saying about Gretchen.
Sgirl: I'm sure she has a sweet side as well, but she chose to have her life filmed. We realize that what we see is at the producer's discretion, but she should too. She put herself out there to be judged, fair or not fair.
I definitely agree about Lauri & George. It was very uncomfortable watching the dinner scene. And I have to believe there must be something very redeeming about Vicki that would explain why her kids and husband have not run screaming from one of her many homes.
7 of 18 | Posted by shantigal | Posted on November 29, 2008 8:44 PM
anyone notice lauri say: ...and they said it wouldn't last. i thought i heard that at the end of their dinner conversation as the camera was pulling away....hmm...
8 of 18 | Posted by mrngstar | Posted on November 30, 2008 11:04 AM
mrngstar: Yes! I did hear that! My immediate reaction was, "Wha what?! It's only been 9 months! That's HARDLY enough time to declare your marriage a success!" Weird.
9 of 18 | Posted by Thatswhatshesaid | Posted on November 30, 2008 6:48 PM
Hi YP, yay, you're back to recap one of my fave shows! Thanks for your investigative reporting about George & his ex. It's a shame to hear about Jeff, poor guy. I thought his daughter seemed rather bratty, but maybe that's just her age. As for Gretchen, I need to watch a few more episodes before deciding on her---I didn't dislike her right away, I thought she seemed sweet (good acting?) and yes, shallow, but she wouldn't be the first (cough cough, Anna Nicole!) Also, i didn't think her boobs were very fake-looking or ginormous--in that shot of her in her bikini next to Jeff, hers didn't seem anywhere near Tamra's head-sized boobs! Kinda normal actually.
I was happy to see Ryan shaping up and getting his act together. As twisted as it may seem to think of encouraging your mom to get plastic surgery, i thot Tamra's intentions were in the right place---she wants to help Mom move on after a painful, old divorce. Tamra & Jeana remain my faves from last season's HW. I really like Vicki's kids, they seem pretty well-adjusted, given the force that is Vicki! Poor Don....wonder if he's reaching a breaking point.
Looking forward to another juicy season!
10 of 18 | Posted by tati | Posted on December 1, 2008 8:17 AM
Lauri, Lauri...
All of the sudden Dubai is declasse? Is this not the same woman who 2 years ago lived in a townhouse that was covered with cat poop? Her entitlement attitude is beyond belief!!
11 of 18 | Posted by tillee | Posted on December 1, 2008 4:59 PM
Taking care of someone with leukemia IS hard work. My father had leukemia, and taking care of him was a full time job for both me and my mother. So cut Gretchen some slack.
12 of 18 | Posted by Itsme | Posted on December 2, 2008 9:54 AM
Itsme:
I'm not debating that taking care of someone with Leukemia is hard. I'm sure it is. I only took offense to Gretchen being indignant about it and calling it "hard work". It didn't come out sounding like a labor of love; it sounded more like a chore that she wanted "credit" for. Like somebody owed her for taking care of him. It just didn't sound very loving when she said it.
13 of 18 | Posted by Thatswhatshesaid | Posted on December 2, 2008 7:32 PM
I'm so glad these ladies are back, I missed them.
I really don't understand Vickie at all. She has enough money, but she is pushing her husband and kids away while she works more and more. Why is working so hard?
I have a friend who did that and loved being at work because it got her out of the house. It makes me think Vickie is traveling to get away from her family.
I don't think Don will stick around if she doesn't stop the crazy working and traveling schedule.
14 of 18 | Posted by AnneM | Posted on December 2, 2008 7:44 PM
It's like a train wreck, but I still can't take my eyes off the screen...did anybody else think the motorcycle salesman deserves a HUGE raise for not laughing in Gretchen's face? She used to ride dirt bikes and now wants a Harley? IN PINK?? Agree with folks here, I love Jeanna and Tamara - Yenta, thanks for a hysterical recap!
15 of 18 | Posted by njgasmifan | Posted on December 3, 2008 9:13 AM
What happened to Brynn (the non-blonde) and her search to get with the guy who clearly wasn't interested in her? Does anyone know what happened there?
16 of 18 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on December 3, 2008 11:31 AM
slutty_whore:
I believe you are referring to Quinn?? I just re-watched the reunion of the OC Housewives the other day and Quinn said that she had broken up with the guy who clearly wasn't interested...she also said that she and the young guy she was hanging out with were "just friends" and they never even kissed......
17 of 18 | Posted by LNNC92 | Posted on December 3, 2008 12:24 PM
This is way better than posting on the Bravo boards. Finally, people with comments I can relate to.
18 of 18 | Posted by Case-Sensitive | Posted on January 26, 2009 9:14 AM