Yes, Yenta, nymphomaniacal Tourettes really exists and the treatment for it is to move to southern CA and get a gig on a Bravo reality show.

I loved how Vicki's "friends" were dressed exactly like her. A herd of cougars in tube tops is a frightful sight, gravity defying boobs or not.

As for the horrid offspring theme of this show, Shane wins hands down. I must disagree with your husband somewhat. I predict Shane will be a pro athlete. He is already displaying the dickishness required to keep his name in the headlines. He will go the way of A-Rod, and others, by cheating on his wife then banging the senior pop star du jour.
Love you yenta.

When Tamra's mom appeared I remembered thinking how good looking and young she seemed. When she revealed she wanted a facelift, I was offended as I would kill to look like that in sweats and makeup.

Also, 'The Dish' did a little bit about Gretchen's gym amours: 'Is she Drunk or is that Just Gretchen'?

Dear Yenta,

I bow to the master. With all the crack heads and rotten kids on this show, you work miracles and create a recap that is funny and a pleasure to read.

How about that Shane? What a dirtbag. Shane watched his father treat his mother badly all his life. So expecting Shane to treat any woman politely and fairly is not going to happen. He's just not that smart. He only does what he sees others do.

Colton may be able to act nicely to people, but the jury is still out on that one.

As for Kara who knows, maybe she can avoid this family's pit of emotional hell.

I bet Shane's teammates don't like him either.

Great job as usual Yenta.

AnneM

The Housewives were on the Bonnie Hunt show last week. Even during their short segment Vicki managed to work herself into a lather with lots of hand-flapping over Jeana's statement that she never served alcohol in her home. Vicki claimed she had wine at Jeana's a few days ago.
Jeana said she made many allowances for Matt and the kids' bad behavior because she didn't want to embarrass them on camera. Most athletes love their mamas - I bet Shane had a tough time after the airing of that episode.
Yenta - your recaps get better every week. Hope you're staying on for NYC!

Seriously, if my grown son spoke to me like that, it would be the last time I bothered attending a game at all. What a douche! And frankly, Colton would be on his way to living with his father if he thought he could open his mouth to me or my friend (crack-head or not) like that. What is wrong with these kids?! And Rachel should just check into Promises now and be done with it. Whatever happened to that OC kids show Bravo was supposed to do. I don't think my TV would survive one episode. My shoe would be firmly logged in it.

Oh Yenta, how do you do it week after week? Your recaps make watching this show worthwhile. I LOVED the nymphomanical Tourettes comment AND the needing a tetnus shot comment.

Loves me Jeana, but she needs to set boundaries with the kids before they turn into mini-Matts. As for Bratquel - there are no words. I hope that Lynne and Frank make some changes after seeing this on TV, but I hope too much.

There has been a rumor floating around the net that Donn and Vicki had separated prior to the start of filming this season, then got back together. Yes, I have too much time on my hands. But it would explain some of the behavior - Vicki being even nastier than usual to Donn, and Donn occasionally growing a pair and speaking back.

Yenta, thank you, as always for your awesome recaps. I enjoy watching the show even more knowing there is your recapt to look foward to!

Yenta-darlin'... Between the kids on this show, and the kids over on Double Shot Of Love, I am rapidly coming to hate and fear young people in this country. Even more disturbing is to see Jeana continually sitting there and bovinely taking the abuse and making excuses for these two utter shits she's spawned and released into the population. I hope it comes back to haunt Shane for acting like such a dickface on national TV. I also hope that Colton inherits his mother's body-type and winds up fat, then he can feel the sting of having someone critiquing his food intake out loud and in public.

And just when I think that it doesn't get any worse, there's Lynne and her little Drunken-Sluts-In-Training... "I don't condone the kids drinking, but I know it happens and therefore they can do it in front of me... which is totally not condoning behavior on my part, right?" Ugh, I hate all of them (except for the one who smartly left the show, she was sweet). You made me laugh at them, though, so kudos to you!

love, J-Mo :)

I'm actually growing to like Gretchen. She seems like tons of fun. I love people who just want to have a good time, she's also pretty drama-free on her own. She doesn't spend as much time talking badly about the other women, unlike the "Most Sunburnt Wife of Orange County," Tamra. So I'm officially on Team Gretchen.

As for Jeana and her devil spawn I feel no pity or compassion. Shane has annoyed the crap out of me since the first season. I'm not sure what his problem is but he should really get a clue and stfu. I've never heard anyone talk to their mother that way and was absolutely disgusted and appalled when he did so. Pathetic.

Lynn is hard to judge. I don't dislike her but that child of hers is a mess. How can they allow her to do nothing at all? She could at least get a part time job at the spray tan place, since she seems to enjoy them so much. Also, little girl, alcohol is not that freakin cool. It should not be that big of a deal, chill the f*@k out. Good Lord!!

I have to say I am not a big Kara fan either. She tries too hard. She is too precocious for a girl of her age...and I can't deal with her little promo when Jeana comes on...she's so look at me I am so cute.
She is a big dork and it really comes across that way.

Yenta,

After reading your recap, I had to watch the part of the show when Vicki and Jeana are out for dinner and drinks in Chicago.

Vicki sits there and tells everyone that she doesn't believe her kids should have sex before marriage. I think she really only means that Brianna should not have sex before marriage. It's obvious that her son and his girlfriend had sex right in Vicki's house. Or am I wrong?

But my favorite part of this show was the introduction of "Vicki's People".

When she goes to Chicago, it's Vicki's town. The people are Vicki's people. When she is in Mexico, they are at Vicki's vacation spot and when they go to Lake Havasu, they are in Vicki's weekend place.

It's like Vicki thinks everyone in the world revolves around her. And if you don't revolve around her, you want to. I really think the show looks more and more forced each week.

Thanks for keeping your recaps fresh and funny.

AnneM

AnneM - good catch on Vicki's double standard. Her son's girlfriend sure seems to be sharing a bedroom with him - and Vicki just loves the girl. Yenta - your recaps are priceless. You are the Queen! I'm not worthy!

Shantigal: I so hope you're not right about batboy joining the majors. Not that I watch baseball, but it would ruin my breakfast to see his face on a box of wheaties. But you're usually right, so I better prepare myself. Sigh!

Anicho01: I completely agree about Tamra's mom. I thought she was adorable and it sucks that she feels like she didn't look good enough to be attractive.

AnneM: I've been wondering what Shane's teammates think of him. I mean he wouldn't be able to get away with threatening to throw bats at everybody that pisses off on the team. Would he?

Spellbound: Thanks for the update on the Bonnie Hunt show. I meant to try and catch it, but life got too crazy. Gotta love this new year : )

Bugmom22: "I don't think my TV would survive one episode. My shoe would be firmly logged in it." LOL Mine as well!!

Njgasmifan: I saw the rumor about Donn and Vicki as well, but I thought they separated after filming and got back together before the show aired? Either way, that marriage is beyond my understanding. Love the "Bratquel" Nickname : )

J-Mo: Have I mentioned that you are so my hero for taking on the Ikki double shot? I agree. I look at the youngsters on your show and the youngsters on my show, and I grow instantly depressed. Oh God that means I'm growing old, doesn't it?

MrsBojangles: I agree about Lynne. I actually kind of like her. But when I see her in her mother role, my brain feels like it's going to explode. And I have an overwhelming urge to feed her...

Tillee: I think you're right about Kara. I just tend to feel a little bad for her. I can't imagine growing up at the mercy of two brothers like Shane and Colton, not to mention the ultimate nightmare Matt.

AnneM: I was wondering about the double standard, as well. But I think I remember Vicki making a big thing about Michael and Lauren not sleeping together on a previous season when he went off to college. Not that anybody believed her...Regardless, she definitely has double standard in strictness between Michael and Briana. Even after Briana moved out of the house, she didn't want her going to an overnight concert with her boyfriend.

Olderandwiser: Thanks for the compliment, but "Queen" is more in J-Mo's league, I just strive for the good ole Jewish American Princess title. LOL

Love you guys,
We only have a few more weeks and then we're off to New York for a change of pace if not dysfunction!!!

Mad hugs,
Yenta

"Even more disturbing is to see Jeana continually sitting there and bovinely taking the abuse and making excuses for these two utter shits she's spawned and released into the population."

J-Mo - I so totally heart you....

I hope that precious little Shane paid for his own lunch after talking to his mamma that way. And what is that big red dot on the middle of his bottom lip that has been there for years??
Vicki saying that the F word isnt used in her home....oh please! How many times have her and her son shouted %#&* at each other?? There was a lot of double standards on this episode.

Sorry Yenta, guess I misread the rumours....
I was just so happy that Donn might finally get away from the shrew.

I am glad I'm not the only one who thought Vicki was out of line about Jeanna's kids & pre-marital sex. Am I wrong or isn't Michael's girlfriend LIVING at Vicki's house for the summer this was filmed? Oh, okay - she's just living there for what reason? Certainly can't be sex! HELLO? Vicki you'd be a more believable preacher if you didn't have her living under your roof. P.S. first time poster but having a ball reading these recaps as no one I know personally will admit they watch the trainwreck of OC!!

there are times that I have to remind myself that you are talking about Vicki and not my mother. This was one of those times--

"A crack ho with borderline personality disorder living on diet pills and booze."

This was a screen cap under a picture of Vicki. What allowed me to realize you were talking about Vicki was the reference to crack ho. If you were talking about my mom you would have used pill addict ho. Thanks you for adding material to my stand up act. My sister and I read your recaps and laugh and laugh mostly because so much of it reminds of us of our mother. We have sick minds, so we love gallows humor.

Thanks!

Why do all these women have such unattractive children?? Vickies kids are FUGLY! Especially the son! Ryan, blech! and say what you will about Tamara, she is beautiful, how could she have such a repulsive looking son? The only one who is somewhat attractive is Cara, and she is a spoiled bitch!

Hi Gasmi
This is the first time I have posted on this site
Gawd I hope icky vicky looses that notion of moving back here to Chi-town. Her ex and I will be forced to go into the witness protection program as I am sure she would spend plenty of time and money stalking us! Yeah he heard from her when she was in town, as if he would answer THAT text. Jeana even called trying to lure us into her web. I think spending ANY time with her would be freakin' HELLISH.
LOVE,LOVE,LOVE your oh-so-astute recaps and thanks to flipit!