This season was shockingly more bitchy and delusional than seasons past, but your recaps made it worth it! I'm sad to say that I'm really looking forward to the fight that's bound to happen next week.

I'm also glad that I won't be seeing Vicki on my TV anymore after the reunion. She and Tamra get on my nerves too much. They can't possibly be more uncharitable with their opinions on anyone but themselves. Please, telling everyone you hate attention whores while showing your new watch to everyone who will look and babbling about how you need to be loved? You're not fooling anyone.

LMAO Gasmi YOU ARE THE BEST
I just love how you refer to vicky as "Cracky". I must forward this link to her, ya think she will enjoy it?

Yenta, I am so glad the NYC ladies are starting up so that I can keep getting my weekly fix of you! You never fail to crack me up!! The back-fat comment? Made me spit my food out! At least she didn't have back cleavage going on!

I hadn't heard any of the rumors surrounding Gretchen, and I'll be interested to hear what she has to say about all of it. But really? At the end of the day, you said it best. I also cannot believe that this is the man she is supposed to love, wasting away, dying, and she continually goes out partying. Not only that, but she tells us over and over about how she's always at the hospital!!!! YOU HAVE CAMERAS RECORDING YOU! She is yucky.

That's it for me! I'll be looking out for the NYC recap - can't wait to hear what you have to say about thems bitches! :)

SWAK, PottyMouth

This show started out funny as hell and it ended just effin sad.

Vicki just hates everything that is not all about her. Psychotic meds and street drugs don't mix, bitch.

Tamra was so jealous of Gretchen than she couldn't see straight. She aged about 15 years in 13 weeks. Poor stupid, wrinkled old lady...with big boobs. ha!

Gretchen has to be a sociopath. There is not one bit of remorse or guilt in that whore whatsoever. My gawd, if I left my boyfriend/husband in the hospital for ONE night to go to a dinner party I would feel like liquid shit for the rest of my life. It's one thing to relax, maybe catch a movie or drink with a friend but this chick is emotionally stunted.

As for Lynne and Jeanna...I hate those two for letting their kids treat them like something that got stuck to the bottom of their shoe. Maybe deep down they believe they deserve to be treated that way, who knows. Whatever the reason they are just dumb bitches.

OH,Yenta! I been hitting the cough syrup with codeine the last couple days. You know I will share with you!
I felt bad for Alan. I am sure it didnt help his ego any to hear that,according the other bithches, he aint nothin' to look at. How rude!! Jeana set him straight, she let him know that she wasnt putting up with any of those things that gentlemen do for their ladies.
Speaking of Jeana, she most defintely did not check that dress from all angles. Thank goodness that CrackHo was there to keep the nipples in place.
When Simon gave Tamra that box.....I thought for a second that it was one of those expensive vibrators from the "Build-Your-Own-Smell" places.
Vicki sounded like a 5 yr old kid on Christmas morning when she said "I got a WATCH!!". How does Donn stand her?? I guess it is cheaper to keep her.
Tamra and Vicki bitchin about Gretchen's gift was just to much. Those are the bitchinest women I have ever seen!!
I had a flashback of watching Saturday Night Fever at the tender age of 9 when I saw Colton's suit. How Retro!
I would also like to see Lynne fry up some bacon,sausage,eggs,hashbrowns, grits and toast for her darlings. That is what I fix my family. Who the hell eats a half bagel with a tiny bit of PB??
At the very end, it said that Ryan was injured at work. Wonder what kind of work he was doing?? Then it said that Michael was the first to graduate college, but I thought that brianna had already graduated nursing school. Whatever!! The reunion show should be fun!

Yenta - another fabulous recap! I'm glad you commented on Lynne's kitchen. I was thinking it looked like they just shoot that family in the empty kitchen of a deserted house or sound stage. There's not ONE THING on the counters! Not even a freaking towel! It looks so odd. I'm so glad you are recapping the NYC housewives. Your humor is such a gift - thanks for sharing.

haven't finished the recap yet, but I wanted to write this so other commentors could read it. but other than the bravo site and tvgasm. where do you read all this housewife gossip? my apologies if this breaking the rules. I don't want to be breaken the laws. well now back to the recap, so I can't write a better comment.

Amazing recap, as per usual. I just wanted to say one thing about Gretchen and everyone's comments about her being out partying all the time.

First, Gretchen signed a contract a long time before Jeff's condition became so bad. They both sat down and discussed the contract, which required a certain amount of filming at specific locations, and a certain amount of filming with the other housewives. Jeff told her to sign the contract knowing she would have obligations. She wouldn't have signed it if he didn't agree to it first. Second, for one on the first episodes, I'm not sure which, there was a scene when some of the other housewives called Gretchen while they were out to lunch. She picked up and they asked her about Jeff, and so on. Well she was actually supposed to be filming that day but Jeff was feeling ill, so she told the producers she couldn't go. They ended up sitting her down and telling her that she would be in breach of her contract if she couldn't attend the scheduled events and she would be fined a huge amount of money if it happened again. Third, she specifically told the camera crew before they even began filming that they would not be allowed to film Jeff anywhere near or in the hospital out of respect for him and his family. So that's why there is never any footage of her there. She was at the hospital whenever she could be, and Jeff understood that she had made committments she couldn't get out of. She loved Jeff, and he loved her. I understand that she agreed to be filmed and she knew ahead of time that people would judge her, but it's not like she knew that these would be his last few months. She was absolutely devastated when he passed. So yes, everyone has the right to their own opinion, but try to get every side of the story before you judge people. And that's not aimed at anyone in particular, just in general.

Other than that, I absolutely love reading this blog and it always makes me laugh out loud. Thanks for all of your hard work!

So if we can't judge and make fun of Gretchen without knowing the full story, why can we judge and make fun of Vicki, Tamra, Jeana, and Lynne without knowing the full story? Just sayin'.

Yeah, maybe she had obligations but she didn't have to act like a dog in heat everytime she was on camera. And I'm sure she could have backed out of the show once they realized Jeff was dying. He didn't know that when he approved of her doing the show.

I'm with you Pixielated. Gretchen was way too happy each time she was on a break from spending time with Jeff. I can understand that this was a job for her, but when people have someone close to them that is dying, they take a leave of absence. She could have backed out of the contract. At the beginning of this show I felt for her, but after watching her on one too many "breaks" I just couldn't stomach her. I apologize to her if this was all the result of editing, but she really came off bad.

Great recap, as usual- can't wait for New York (Ramona's husband checks out two women in a really creepy way as they are having a dinner outside some restaurant- classy)

To pixielated:
I think Sgirl was trying to say that, in light of of the contract, she had to be out at social events because they would have been fined a bunch of money. She had mentioned that she had to take money out of her savings account to pay for some of the bills while Jeff was in the hospital,when Vicki and Jeana were on her about being added to the will, so I'm sure she wouldn't have been able to afford the hefty fine.On the flip side we can judge Vicki and Tamra because they have proven themselves to be incredibly backstabbing and gossipy. Doesn't it also seem odd that Vicki and Tamra are the ones talking about Gretchen in their blogs? They're hurt because they felt as though they were being lied to about her relationship with Jeff, yet they really didn't want to hear about her or her relationship while filming. My theory is that, since they were such horrible beasts during the show, they have to save face and rationalize it somehow. I don't think Gretchen is Mother Theresa, but I also think she did alot more than she's been given credit for. I hope it's cleared up by Andy, at the reunion.

I too started out loving this show however many seasons ago, but this one was nothing but sad. The only positive outcome was Yenta's awesome recaps!

Re: Gretchen, if it walks like a gold-digging whore and talks like a gold-digging whore, it is a gold-digging whore. That said, Jeff knew what he was getting into. Seriously, he conveniently delivers a harley to the final party and then calls during the party to make sure she's having fun? He knew the score... The whole situation just perplexes me.

Ugh, poor Donn. He'd be a wise man to ask Breanna for that Army recruiter's phone number. Living and working in a war zone has to be better than living with Cracky (best name evahhhh btw!) and her rolexes.

So my question - do you think Gretchen will be back next season?

real atlanta girl- I agree with that. If Jeff was fine with her, then their arrangement was none of the other housewives business. Jealousy has some long, acrylic nails in the OC.
I think if Gretchen was in it for exposure, then yes. If she wasn't there is no way she would go back.

SGirl - I think thru the goodness of your heart and basic human decency you’re trying to excuse things that were inexcusable.
I think that Gretchen is the sorriest excuse for a human being that I've ever seen on RealityTV. She is a nymphomaniac fame whore who tried to hump anything that moved, could not stand to have the attention on someone else for 5 seconds before going cuckoo to get the spotlight back onto herself. As if that was not enough she is clearly motivated in life by only one thing - MONEY. I am sure she will go thru life from one sugar daddy to the next, unless she stoops even lower and sticks to terminally ill grandpas. My heart went out to Jeff each time this stupid ho skank was on TV instead of by his side. Plus she could not wait to 'share' the private feelings of Jeff with the whole bloody public; her reading his letter aloud to everyone at the party smacked of complete lack of human feelings. She deserves to ... Oh, heck - Karma is a bitch is all I'll say.
Laurie withdrew when Josh got into serious trouble, so could - and SHOULD - have Gretchen. But she is such RealityTV-whore that obviously it did not even cross her pea brain. I hate this skank with all my heart for what poor Jeff must have felt sitting in the hospital by himself while his 'Fiancé' was whoring herself on vacays and drinking breaks every week. As I said in a previous post I've gone thru similar experience, in that my husband was very ill, and it took all we both had emotionally, mentally and physically to get him thru it, but he was luckier that Jeff and is now back in health. So each time I see this bitch I look at her thru the prism of my and my husband's experience. I realize my words may sound harsh to some, but if you've shared in similar life trials you know I speak not from viciousness but from bleeding heart. Creatures like Gretchen do not deserve to be called human beings.
I can't wait to see the reunion show, and the new revelations Tamra has to share about Gretchen.
My only hope in this whole disaster is that Jeff was too sick to bother with seeing even a single minute of the material Bravo had shot before passing on. May his soul be at peace.

Regarding Gretchen: It is what it is. I liked her, I thought she was nice and full of heart. I guess I just don't agree with the harsh assessments of her.

I found her and her actions much easier to stomach than those of Tamra and Vicki. Relationships are complex...we only know a small fraction of the truth here.

Thanks for all the recaps, Yenta! Fun, fun, fun!

Here is an update on Gretchen's love life just in case y'all have been living under a rock for the last two weeks. Jay left Gretchen, Gretchen found herself a new monkey business manager -- SLADE SMILEY. Slade Smiley was arrested AT GRETCHEN'S HOME on an outstanding warrant. Here is a post from TMZ detailing Jay Photoglou's version of events:

(Soap opera writers couldn't come up with better stuff)

I lived with Gretchen in Costa Mesa. And was living out of a suitcase with a friend when I left because she was going to dinner with Slade. When I went to pick up more clothes on Wed Feb 18th Slades car was in the driveway. I know Gretchen well so I called the police dept to do a civil asst and help me recover some more clothes. I had proper identification to be there so they attempted to get Slade or Gretchen to open the door. No response from them so when I told them I have a way to get in the dispatcher recieved a call from Slade saying he was with Gretchen and they were in Vegas. Slade called a recorded line to lie to the police. He also told the dispatcher that a neighbor called him to say the police were there. So that is why he called. So I proceeded to enter the house as I did I saw there was Slades wallet shirt Jacket shoes and car keys were in plain sight. The officer and I then heard foot steps upstairs. But Slade and Gretchen would still not come out of her room. This is public information and probably on a report. I did recover more clothes BUT did not have a moving truck set up so I was only able to get clothes not furniture. The officers did not tell me but I over heard them say He has a suspended Lic and a fake tag on his unregistered car as well as a warrant for $10,000 out of LA county. This is what I think I heard. I will be moving the rest of my stuff out next week.

Cries too much.
- Makes wingy faces when he has to kiss a girl.
- Hair too neat.
- Skin too moisturized.
- Proposed to Deeanna.
- Cries too much.
- In too good shape for a post-30 guy with a career.
- Icky smarmy too-white smile.
- Cries too much.

i'm bald and not in shape, but otherwise, good call. i'm totally crying right now.

great season, yenta! love!

Oh Yenta, Oh Yenta where to begin?

For a season finale that was completely over the top. Over the top in pettiness, hypocrisy, smarminess, back stabbingness- it scraped the bottom of the barrel and gave us everything that we loath and hate about these women. For this- you gave us a recap that was completely inspired and over the top.

Match, set, win- Yenta.

I didn't think it could happen, but you bitch slapped these bitches and won. It makes me feel comforted that people see through the shallow, veneer of this show and realize that these are not women to lookup to.

The photo screen caps and cracky:
Hi-larious.

I really have nothing more to add to this conversation. Other than I just didn't think that Vicki (cracky), Lauri, Tamra and Gretchen could go much lower, but they saw the edge and just jumped over it feet first. I so hope some of them get their commupence at the reunion- keeping all my fingers and toes crossed.

And I can't believe the eat disorders that Lynne is giving her daughters as their inheritance. And I was wondering how Simon could afford to give Tamra that bracelet when their house in foreclosure- didn't realize it wasn't paid for by him. And Tamra and Vicki grow the fuck it up. I haven't acted like since 7th grade.

pizza girl- was that in the comments section? They only mentioned that he was picked up on a "civil contempt warrant" and that it may possbly involve unpaid child support- but it's been unconfirmed. Side note- it probably does have to do with child support, sadly. There's no mention of Gretchen or a possible boyfriend.

While I don't think that Gretchen behaved like a saint during the show, I have to say she's my second favorite of the housewives (after Jeanna). If I had to hang out with one of them, I'd pick her over bitter and jealous and Tamra, and bitter/jealous/batshit crazy Vicki. At least she didn't start spitting venom every time that her "friends" left the room.

Best recap I have read. It touched all the areas. I would only add to take a look at the walls in Lynne's house...nothing on them..besides the sterile kitchen...the house appears to be equally sterile...and it matches her personality.

There is no defense for Gretchen....given the condition of her BF...she should not have particpated in any reality program...to do so just shows her selfishish and self centered personality. No surprise.

But please no way to defend Gretchen.

I could be wrong..but I thought it was Donn, Vicki's husband who read the letter to Gretchen???

I was hoping for a slide to occur and take out the patio at the Cliff's...oh well...I am am optimist.

Best recap I have read. It touched all the areas. I would only add to take a look at the walls in Lynne's house...nothing on them..besides the sterile kitchen...the house appears to be equally sterile...and it matches her personality.

There is no defense for Gretchen....given the condition of her BF...she should not have particpated in any reality program...to do so just shows her selfishish and self centered personality. No surprise.

But please no way to defend Gretchen.

I could be wrong..but I thought it was Donn, Vicki's husband who read the letter to Gretchen???

I was hoping for a slide to occur and take out the patio at the Cliff's...oh well...I am am optimist.

Sounds like you like dirty martinis - would love to send you a sample of my company's product - Dirty Sue - premium olive juice for dirty martinis.

www.dirtysue.com

Let me know.

Best,

Eric
et1969@mac.com

Ivken - it was Gretchen's dad who read his letter. Her dad looks eerily similar to Donn. I had to do a double-take every time he was on-screen.

awwww, thanks for the shout-out, dear Yenta! :-)
I for one could not have gotten through the season without dirty vodka martinis. These women make me want to take a shower after viewing to get the slime off of me.

I agree with your comments about Gretchen. Gretchen is the one who continually professed her passionate love for Jeff. If that had been me, I would have had a hard time vay-kaying and partying so much, contract or no. My BF was quite ill a few years back and I could not picture myself going out - I got to work at 7 am so I could leave early every day and spend the next 8 hours or so with him. Even the few hours I was home or at work, I could think of nothing else, and I certainly wasn't groping everything with a Y chromosome. As Renata said, karma's a bitch. Maybe dating Slimey Slade is part of the pay back?

Cracky (love this!) has really gone over the edge. First saying to the camera that she does not need to show off her watch, only if people ask -then nearly punching people in the nose yelling "LOOK AT MY ROLEX". Her and Tamara are truly bitter and angry people - if it's not about me, it's WRONG!

I hope that Bratquel sticks with a job, just to overcome the enabled, dysfunctional upbringing she has had. There was something about Lynne's kitchen that bothered me, thanks for clearing that up - IT'S NOT REAL LOOKING! Not contaminated by food, at any rate.

Still think Jeana is the most "real" - even if her children need a swift kick.

Yenta, thank you from the bottom of vokda soaked heart for making this season so much fun! Keep 'em coming with RHONY!
kisses -

Not only did I get Gretchens daddy (the sugar-free one) mixed up with Don, but I also thought that Kimberly looked like Vicki.
Did anyone notice that when Tamra's mom was telling Gretchen about her new facelift and Gretchen asked if there was any pain, Tamras mom said "She asked me if I was burning and SHE said yes and gave me two wonderful shots". That was weird.
Raquels hair is gross and so is her boyfriend.

Dear Gasmi,
I'm so sorry I haven't had time to respond to all of you wonderful comments. I do read them all and enjoy them thoroughly. I'm in the midst of house hunting in a city close to a hundred miles away right now, so I'm doing a lot of driving and it's killing my schedule.

TONIGHT SHOULD BE INSANE. I'll be thinking of all of you when I sit down to watch.
Hugs,
Yents

YENTA: There are several houses for sale in the development that I live in. There is one beside me and across the street. Oh, I also have a pool....and a good strong out- of- work hubby who can move the big stuff.

I just want to say two things:

First - Great job, Yenta, these bitches deserved everything you dished out.

Second - I have to say that now I hate Tamra forever because she called Slade a "homo". There are two reasons for this:

First - Slade is a complete douchebag and an insult to homosexuality everywhere, we do not DO NOT DO NOT) want him on our team, especially since he is responsible for foisting Jo De La Rosa on the world (I saw her album at Fry's Electronics for $6.00 but I hate her so much I won't even part with that much)...

Second - while not as nasty as using the "F-word" (fa&&ot) I found the context that Tamra used "homo" in to be incredibly offensive and rude... it's the exact same way I have been hearing the word applied to me and my person my entire life from homophobic assholes and bitches like her. Shame on you, Tamra, I hope the next time you get your weave tightened they use some strands coated in itching powder... and super-glue. Bitch.

okay, so that was, like six things I said, but I got carried away (as usual)!

love to you Yenta!

J-Mo :)

I think Tamra called Slade a HOBO b/c he was wearing flip flops and sweats.
OH, how can they stand to be out in the heat (I am assuming it is hot in CA), and be dressed like that? I would have been drenched in sweat.

Sorry, fatgirlsrule, it was captioned, she said "homo". She's getting torn a new one for it, too... as well she should.

love, J-Mo :)

I know the caption said H but the other letters were blurred out. I swear it sounded like hobo, but it dont really matter, cause I dont like Tamra or Vicki. They were so nice to Gretchen about the coin purse gift, but then they talked so horrible about her giving a gift. I actually like Gretchen, Cant Wait for the Showdown Tongiht!!

fatgirlsrule... perhaps Bravo is now blurring their own caption (and possibly the audio track) since the uproar, however the show I saw it was uncovered and it clearly said "homo" and she clearly said "homo". There is a screen shot of it if you look at absurdtosublime *dot* blogspot *dot* com *slash* 2009 *slash* 02 *slash* tamras-homo-gate *dot* html

I don't mean to harp on this point, but I don't toss these kind of accusations out at people lightly, I just want to be clear she did say it, thus earning a place on my shit list.

love, J-Mo :)

J-Mo - you are right. She said Homo. She confirms her ignorance and lack of class more with each episode, doesn't she? Your comments were right on! Love and kisses, OlderandWiser

I clearly heard "homo" as well, and it was followed by Simon "joking" that she thought she meant him because of his pink shirt. She seemed embarrassed that the camera was right there (although, HELLO, you are wearing a mike) when she looked over her shoulder.
J-Mo is 100% on target - it's not even WHAT she said but the way it was said it, showing (once again) her true colors. Of course this season we have had many reasons to hate on her, but this was over the top IMO.

I was watching some episodes from when Slade and Jo were on. In this show, they went for counseling and Slade had on the same thong flip-flops!