Consider This Shark Jumped

dannymelinda050506It's hard to imagine that The Real World/Road Rules Challenge could ever jump the shark, but my friends, I think it has happened. MTV revealed the cast of the new season today, titled Fresh Meat, and if first impressions are worth anything -- and I think they are -- it looks fairly abysmal. As the name indicates, the producers have brought on twelve new, random viewers from home to compete against our old Real World and Road Rules alums. This is the equivalent of introducing a baby to a sitcom in its seventh season. Granted, I don't want to completely write off something before I see it (and you all know I'll still totally be watching), but c'mon now. I seem to remember one season of Road Rules where the cast had to square off against some MTV.com contest winner, and that was fine for one episode. But a whole season?

To be honest, what probably disconcerts me the most are the returning stars -- almost all of whom annoy me intensely. We've got a rundown of who's coming back after the jump...

Returning Real World/Road Rules Cast Members:

  • Coral (okay, gotta have her. We sorely missed her last season)
  • Danny from Austin (there aren't enough words to describe how much this guy sucks. But there are photos)
  • Darrell (fairly annoying. Thinks he's funnier than he is -- the Timmy Complex. I just hope he keeps his fake, goofy teeth and afro wig at home)
  • Derrick (most overly dramatic cast member EVER)
  • Johanna (eh, not the worst. But still carries the taint of the Austin season)
  • Katie (okay, she's a keeper -- although, we better see more of her crazy side again)
  • Melinda from Austin (nice girl, but entirely way too wrapped up in the vortex of suck that is Danny. And her chronic codependency is really annoying TV)
  • Shane (never was a star)
  • Theo (goofy guy. Happy to have him back)
  • Tina (awful. The downfall of Western Civilzation)
  • Tonya (gotta have her)
  • Wes (total idiot)

« Neutrogenagasm Part II | Main | Clipgasm: Wife Swat Edition »

Comments (30)

sweetjane Author Profile Page:

too damn many couples. HOWEVER, i am TOTALLY excited about coral laying the smack down on these new girls. they think they are great? HA- they have not yet endured the wrath of coral (who is quite possibly my fav female cast member EVER!!)
yes- i know i just used an insane number of caps. sorry. just love the rw/rr crap-tacular that is a challenge.

TheEmancipationofGigi Author Profile Page:

Ugh, 12 new people is obscene, and probably boring...and why so many Austin people? Where's the Miz?

JerseyGirl Author Profile Page:

I'll watch it for Coral alone.

annna Author Profile Page:

no rachel? veronica? robin? ruthie? beth? man... this is once again going to suck.

Madeyoulaugh Author Profile Page:

Annna,

Are you really sad beth isnt in this one? Beth has got to be approaching 40, not exactly MTV demo. I think we have become used to who MTV gives us and have missed out on a lot of chances at new people. What about the Phillie chicks? they were total wack jobs. Id rather see one or two of them mix it up with psycho Rachel from Austin before bringing back cast members from when Fresh Prince of BelAir was considered ground breaking.

I dont care if these kids won a contest or just happened accross the challenge. I think its time for some new meat... and if they suck, they suck but anthings better than Ruth getting drunk, beth getting botox bitchy and Veronica and Rachelnot being so gay for eachother *wink*.


but thats just me.

MYL

scorpiella Author Profile Page:

All will be fine with Coral back. This is the challenge where a kangaroo decapitates Wes, right?

babeblue Author Profile Page:

isn't this the one where wes allegedly gets mauled by a kangaroo?

tvaholic Author Profile Page:

Danny is such a tool-look at the picture. Mel is all "Please take a picture of me & my fiance! Isn't he cute? Aren't we a cute couple??" And you know Danny is thinking, "Cool, with my hat tilted you can't see where my head was bashed in. Should I smile or just give a smoldering look to the camera. Yeah, smolder, that's the good stuff. Oh, Melinda, when did she get here?"

I forgot, who's Tina? (How sad I know all the others??)

babeblue Author Profile Page:

scorpiella - great minds think alike...

does anyone know if melinda and danny have gotten married yet?

babeblue Author Profile Page:

tina was the loud talking trailer trashtatic brunette that hated tonya's guts on the last challenge

raggedy_andy Author Profile Page:

That sucks. I know I'm not the only one who's looked at some of the challenges and thought, "I could do better than those fools," but it doesn't seem fair that the "fresh meat" get to bypass the "fun" of being on Real World or Road Rules. How are we supposed to pre-hate them like the others? Of course, there's a little guilty pleasure since they finally brought me sort of something to look at with Eric (eh, it's a start :-P).

babeblue Author Profile Page:

i meant to say the last challenge that dave mirra hosted (think it was the inferno)

hayhor Author Profile Page:

The plaid fabric hat with the short bill haunts me...I fear I may not be able to watch if Danny wears it every episode this season.

Don't know if any of you saw that True Life on MTV about being a reality TV star. It featured, most notably, Tonya talking allllllll about how she's sick of being a reality show star, she wants to live a normal life, she's never doing another challenge, etc. I call serious shenanigans on her.

alienlips Author Profile Page:

Where is Danny's wicked elbow in the picture above, yo? Distressing to see no elbow shot! Looking forward to Coral putting Danny in his place...Yo!

tvaholic Author Profile Page:

Thanks babeblue, i remember her now...unfortunately.

doorsmats Author Profile Page:

Is the British Army granting Prince Harry an extended holiday from training to participate in the challenge?

***Probably won't make a lick of sense unless you recall RW-Austin's vacation***

I can't wait til Mel talks Darrell/Theo/anyone with a Y-chromosome and Danny loses it.

Talk about a ratings bonanza if Danny walks in on her having a 3-way with Darrell and Theo......DAGGER!

Trent880 Author Profile Page:

Makes you wonder what most of these people would be doing if they didn't have this gravy train to live off of.... Coral? I'm thinking DMV. Wes? Applebee's waiter, lunch shift, if he was *lucky*. Danny? Seancody.com Melinda? Applebee's hostess, lunch shift. Derrick? I got nothin'...turquoise hat model?

The Svan Author Profile Page:

So, Melinda is doing this without Danny? This is a good first step for her.

zevonia Author Profile Page:

No, The Svan, Danny & Melinda will both be there. Think how awful it was last time with Kina and Randy whining & mooning and then quadruple it with Melinda and Danny. I don't know if I'll be able to stomach it.

Leah3t Author Profile Page:

who will care about or cheer for the nobodies?

ImHot Author Profile Page:

But Leah3t, they are all nobodies. I won't be cheering for any of them. I'll just be watching and hoping that Wes really does get mauled by a kangaroo. If that's a rumor, it's just cruel to get my hopes up like that.

J-Balls Author Profile Page:

I hope everyone conspires right at the beginning to get rid of the Jackhammah early. That way they can all have their way with Melinda ('cause you know they can). It would be so funny to watch the Jackhamma lose it.

you know melinda would leave if danny got booted off.

The Svan Author Profile Page:

zevonia, thank you for correcting The Svan. It's appreicated. B-Side should have listed him in that list. That's really going to suck. Arg.

bridgeguy Author Profile Page:

Danny is second on the list. How'd you miss that? Unless he was originally missing and later retconned in. He and Mel are annoying though. Can't figure out what Mel sees in Danny that we don't. (Btw- also annoying? Refering to oneself in the 3rd person. Why?)

I believe Miz is retired from the Challenges.

Is MTV ever gonna bring back the actual Road Rules show? How about a Laguna Beach/8th & Ocean Challenge?


Cantstandya Author Profile Page:

The Real World/Road Rules dreck is the worst reality stuff on tv. The. Worst.

Those shows actually suck the soul out of the viewer.

antebellum Author Profile Page:

Wow, this Fresh Meat idea is terrible. The cast of "alumni" sucks also. Not looking forward to the Austin barrage.

I just hope TJ Lavin hosts it. (Not really.)

Seriously, at least that cutie Shane is on it. That's the only redeeming quality I can see so far. Where's Seattle David? When will Derrick retire from these pathetic shows?

The first Inferno was the last good Challenge. It was great. RIP.

antebellum Author Profile Page:

Oh wait, shit. Coral's back! How could I forget? And I like Theo, even after his Tonya tryst. If Katie turns on the drama, I'll be thankful for her as well.

Terence Author Profile Page:

Ha. The idea of an 8th & Ocean/ Laguna Beach challenege sounds great. I can so see Vinci and Kristin playing lovebirds and LC catfighting STI infested Heidi for looking at Stephen... ah.. good T.V.

10