I'm really enjoying The Real World / Road Rules Challenge: Fresh Meat, but this week's episode was a bit, um, lacking in excitement. I'm not sure if that's the show's fault or MTV's. After all, MTV pretty much revealed who'd be going into Exile in all their promos; so really we weren't left to worry over much beyond whether or not Tonya's STDs would spread to another poor victim. Nevertheless, this episode did provide its share of belly flops, stupid comments, and annoying Wes-isms; so it wasn't a total lost cause. And as anyone who read my Jetblue travelogue knows, the show saved me from a post-Treasure Hunters malaise, and for that, I am forever thankful.
This week's episode began the way so many Challenge episodes begin: with the cast doing shots at a local bar. Yay impending liver failure! We then saw Johnnie and Tonya talking about better ways to work as a team, and no, doggy style was not an option (although, I'm sure Tonya was thinking that. Johnny Fairplay better watch out. Once Tonya goes black, she might never go back. And by "back," I mean "crab-infested, syphilitic dirtbag").
Elsewhere in the bar, Wes was on the phone, speaking to his main squeeze Johanna. Actually, it wasn't so much that he was speaking. It was more like hostile complaining. You see, Wes was now the only member of the Austin cast left in Australia, and it was dawning on him that like the viewers, no one else on The Challenge really liked him.
"No one cares if I'm back. No one gives a shit," he whined. Sadly for Wes, he often says this -- at family reunions... class reunions... pretty much any sort of reunion. Let's face it: no one likes him. Still, he was confident that even though he was unpopular, he would still dominate the whole damn game. "I'll just keep plucking people off on at a time," he said. Yes, it's hard for anyone to defeat Wes and his unbridled FrecklePower!
Meanwhile, the next day, we spotted Evan hanging out in a production van for some odd reason. He explained, "I've got a growing pain in my abdomen." For a moment, I thought he meant the Seaver Family had taken up residence in his stomach, but apparently the growing pain was actually a sports hernia (as opposed to the couch potato hernia that I suffered through seven years ago. No joke). Now Evan was worried about how this medical ailment might undermine his chances at fame and riches. Aw, don't fret Evan. Show me that smile again. Don't waste another minute on your cryin'. You're nowhere near the end. The best is ready to begin. Ohh ooooh ohhh. As long as you and Coral got each other, you got the world spinnin' right in your hands. Baby you and she, you gotta be, the luckiest dreamers who never quit dreamin'. Okay, taking the Growing Pains thing too far. I'll stop now.
We then cut to our favorite ailing newbie Diem, who announced, "This is a huge escape for me. And it makes me forget that I have cancer." Sadly for Diem, the next challenge was called, "CANCER TIME!" Actually, no. The next challenge was called "Cross Paths," and in it, teams had to climb onto a rope (hanging twenty-five feet over water) and traverse from one end to another. The only catch was that each member of the team would start on opposite ends, which meant they'd have to cross paths on the rope. Get it? I actually liked this challenge. Simple in concept, but tricky in execution. Casey, on the other hand, was not a fan of this. "That's really scary to me," she said. Other things that are scary to her: dust bunnies, tennis balls, and dandelions.
Well, first up for the big event were Derrick and Diem, who quickly took places on opposite ends of the rope. Diem explained that she had a giant fear of heights, but she was going to pretend there were alligators in the water because her fear of alligators would counteract her fear of heights. Yeah, okay, whatever. Just start the challenge already. The two began climbing along the rope, and everything seemed fine and dandy until they actually had to maneuver around each other. Derrick tried to climb around Diem, but at one point, he nearly lost his grip and had to clutch onto Diem's body, and d'oh! He was grabbing right onto her ovary! Um, Derrick, she just had surgery there like two days ago. Maybe next time you should grab onto her stomach or breasts or whatever.
Ouch. Right in the baby-maker!
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Comments (38)
okay so not a thriller ep but i'm still enjoying the show! i loved how the "i am handling this very well right now" was delivered with a trembling, bout to lose my mind crazy lady voice. go crazies!
why didnt anyone vote any of the fallers in?
1 of 38 | Posted by Leah3t
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Posted on July 5, 2006 2:14 PM
I too was thinking of ways to combine teammates' names into one word. Tonnie, Shanette... God, Bennifer really started something.
People really should be considering voting Katie and Eric in. They've been consistently weak, and even though Kenny and Tina did well this week while Katie and Eric failed again, I guess since people like them they won't be voted in for a while. Like Katie said - alliances never fail!
I really think Tonnie could beat Wes and Casey. Tonya is stronger than Casey and Wes may be stronger than Johnnie, but I don't think Casey has much left in her. Also, she should lose it just to spite Wes.
2 of 38 | Posted by antebellum
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Posted on July 5, 2006 3:38 PM
Quick FYI on Evan's condition: my husband had (probably still has) an athletic hernia, which is when a muscle in the groin pulls away from the bone (maybe pelvis? I can't remember). It's pretty common in athletes competing in sports with a lot of pushing-off motion, like hockey and football players.
Evan was wrong when he said doing nothing won't make it get better, minimizing activity is actually a treatment option, as is surgery. Recovery is about 6 months no matter what you do, so we chose the nothing option. The Mister seems to have gotten better, but he does have to keep an eye on it.
Here endeth the heria lession.
3 of 38 | Posted by brigita
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Posted on July 5, 2006 3:45 PM
Good riddance to Johnya. Johnnie is boring aside from his freakish strength, and Tonya, eh, she's annoying and is like a human Petri dish. I think they could beat Wes and Casey; although, as much as we all hate Wes' ghostly visage, he makes for good (i.e. stupid) TV.
4 of 38 | Posted by MissKatrina
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Posted on July 5, 2006 4:19 PM
Eric's bellyflop was funny.
Tonya wants people to be honest with her - ok, I don't like you.
hb
5 of 38 | Posted by HoneyBunny
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Posted on July 5, 2006 4:30 PM
I don't get why everyone is talking about merit. This isn't like the last Challenge where people were on large teams. It's essentially every couple for themselves, so people should be voting the strongest couples into Exile to get rid of them. I was surprised that none of these idiots figured this out and voted in Coral and Evan, since they were finally eligible for Exile. If you were in the very last challenge, would you rather be up against Coral and Evan or a weak team like Katie and Eric or Johanna and Jesse?
Nice recap, btw! I loved the Growing Pains section. Show us that smile again, Evan.
6 of 38 | Posted by gatsby
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Posted on July 5, 2006 4:52 PM
What did you think about this episode?
Belly flops were funny as hell as was Wes' statements.
What did you think about this commentary? The Svan thinks that B-Side is an asshole who deserves to get cancer. Knock off the fucking cancer jokes, dickhead.
7 of 38 | Posted by The Svan
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Posted on July 5, 2006 5:23 PM
Whoa. The Svan needs to unclench. It. Is. A. Joke.
Very funny as always B-Side.
8 of 38 | Posted by mountain_girl
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Posted on July 5, 2006 6:05 PM
coral and the errant spider... love it, b-side
9 of 38 | Posted by Chloe
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Posted on July 5, 2006 6:29 PM
Interesting episode. the lack of drama still didn't keep me from liking it. Hopefully Johnnie and Tawnnn-yuhh [as he would say it] we'll beat ditzy and di**head in the Exile. Yes B-Side Kenny is a brave man. To see such horrible sights and not blind your eyes into oblivion is amazing to me. Speaking of Kenny i think I saw him at a fireworks display in Cedar Grove.. [is hometown according to freshmeat].
10 of 38 | Posted by Terence
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Posted on July 5, 2006 6:47 PM
Is the Svan aware that talking about yourself in the third person CAUSES CANCER!
11 of 38 | Posted by EdHill
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Posted on July 5, 2006 6:48 PM
The Svan - if these recaps and comments keep causing you so much anxiety - there is always the option to - LEAVE.
B-Side - Hilarious recap - I love that you got the photos of Tina's fat ass. The same fat assed girl who then ripped on Eric for falling and creating a "tsunami". She's really one to be pointing fingers.
12 of 38 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie
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Posted on July 5, 2006 7:19 PM
Why was Derrick apologizing to Tonya? Doesn't he know he's still going to be able to fuck her?...as if he cares about anything else.
13 of 38 | Posted by painless
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Posted on July 5, 2006 7:29 PM
Gatsby- Exactly!!! These people are so stupid! And who cares if they are your friends... aren't you there to win the money? Dumbasses... and I think there should be a ban on mo or faux hawks on all future reality shows.
Wes still looks like Scott Fargas.
B-Side- love the Growing Pains reference!
14 of 38 | Posted by mo_knows
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Posted on July 5, 2006 7:36 PM
go wes! I hate to see him win but i love to see the others lose
15 of 38 | Posted by sillygirl
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Posted on July 5, 2006 8:20 PM
tanya's mouth really grosses me out in that picture.
16 of 38 | Posted by anniedawg25
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Posted on July 5, 2006 9:09 PM
Hmmm... I never made fun of Diem for having cancer. And I never questioned her character for going through this with cancer. But apparently the mere mention of the word "cancer" is enough to get people all disturbed. Sounds like a case of PC hypersensitivity. Yay!
17 of 38 | Posted by B-Side
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Posted on July 5, 2006 9:46 PM
B-side, you forgot to mention that cancer IS funny.
Public Service Announcement: I want to bang Diem.
18 of 38 | Posted by painless
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Posted on July 5, 2006 9:52 PM
Loved the recap, B-side but please don't quote Growing Pains again. That was painful.
I loved Tonya's rant about nobody having the balls to tell her the vote wasn't about merit. When are the votes to put someone in jeopardy on the Challenge ever about merit? Get a grip and a clue, Tonya. Most of these people don't like you and don't want you around. After everything that has been said to your face (let alone behind your back) is this fact even in doubt? Are you that delusional?
Gatsby, as smart as it may be to vote in the stronger people, that rarely happens in the Challenge. It usually comes down to a popularity contest which is what makes watching this so much fun!
19 of 38 | Posted by zevonia
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Posted on July 6, 2006 1:55 AM
terrence (#10) that probably was kenny you saw at the fireworks in cedar grove. my ex went to high school with him and according to him kenny still lives around there.
20 of 38 | Posted by sarah smile
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Posted on July 6, 2006 7:13 AM
i just had to add this fun tidbit- tonya is now MARRIED. i watch the after show every week (love that blair herder). tonya was on this week and she talked about the fact that she is married. and was dating the guy on the challenge, so she didn't hook up. his name is adam. poor fool.
21 of 38 | Posted by sweetjane
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Posted on July 6, 2006 7:24 AM
If you think you dislike Tonya now, you'll hate her after you watch her on True Life: I'm a Reality Show Star bitching and crying about how much she hates her "fame" at various bar and strip mall openings, yet continually signing up for more.
22 of 38 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on July 6, 2006 7:41 AM
Svan (sorry, I refuse to call you "the Svan" - yes, I know you think it is ever so witty), you should hold firm and boycott this site until B-Side stops mentioning the word cancer. Everybody would win - you wouldn't have to be offended and we wouldn't have to read your annoying posts.
23 of 38 | Posted by SaveFerris
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Posted on July 6, 2006 8:00 AM
gotta agree with gatsby bout leaving the weakest teams till the end but who wants to send Coral&Evan to Exile where they will inevitably kick anyone's ass and on top of it u just pissed off Coral *shudder*
Wes needs to go away. Is his fake bravado a desperate attempt to cover his lack in other areas? Run Johanna!!! get that eye surgery u need and RUN! He hurts my eyes to look @
24 of 38 | Posted by UgoGurl
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Posted on July 6, 2006 8:06 AM
I hope next week is the end of Wes. I am sick of seeing him on my TV. Plus, I don't like Tonya but I would LOVE to see the look on everyone's face, seeing Tonya come back from Exile. Hehe!! That would be *sigh* awesome. :)
25 of 38 | Posted by stacyrocks
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Posted on July 6, 2006 9:03 AM
Wow, where else would you find a "Growing Pains" reference in almost the same breath as STD's? And why does it make me so happy? I haven't watched a second of Fresh Meat but I'm enjoying the recaps, thanks B-Side.
Ubiquitous-I saw that ep of True Life,& I think Tonya's boyfriend in there is the guy she married. I'm kind of disappointed she didn't end up with Fairplay if for no good reason other than to just save American women from the male version of Tonya.
Way off track here, but does anyone know if Coral & Abe are still together? Has she mentioned him at all?
26 of 38 | Posted by tvaholic
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Posted on July 6, 2006 10:24 AM
I despise Wes, but I hope the urban legend is true that he gets his ass kicked by a kangaroo. The image of that in my mind's eye is awesome. Please show that and then send him off the show pronto.
27 of 38 | Posted by joeypotter
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Posted on July 6, 2006 11:07 AM
Not sure where people's hate for Tonya comes from. Yes she's banged many former cast members, but who cares? So has Theo right? And she is annoying but she was not the worst person on True Life I'm a Reality Star (That honor definitely goes to Fairplay- he is disgusting)and she isn't that annoying on this Challenge.
Now hating Wes is a hate I can get behind! If I never have to see his stupid, hateful, smug face ever again I will be happy. No one deserves to be subjected to the Austin cast.
Tvaholic- I am also very curious about whatever happened to Coral and Abe. I think she said in an interview that they are just friends now, but I need to know what really happened. That was my fave RW/RR relationship ever!
28 of 38 | Posted by gasmgrrl
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Posted on July 6, 2006 2:16 PM
gasmgrrl-yeah, especially since it came out of frickin' nowhere! (Coral & Abe)
I think one of the reasons I don't like Tonya is because she was banging Fairplay. I mean, sleeping around is one thing, I'm all for gettin' while the gettin's good, but Fairplay?? Yuck. And she seemed so innocent & naive on RW Chicago.
29 of 38 | Posted by tvaholic
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Posted on July 6, 2006 2:33 PM
gasmgrrl, the others' hatred of Tonya is long standing with many things going into it (not just her promiscuity). We have to remember that these people see each other away from the show (there's a whole world of celebrialty out there where people from all reality shows meet up). Also there's a great deal of footage we don't see. It's a combination of personality, personal hygiene and the ever popular annoyance factor. Not to mention her rather shaky hold on her emotions and her inability to tell the truth. I have felt sorry for Tonya in the past but she not fresh meat. She knows what these Challenges are like and she knows she's not popular so why come on the show? Because she wants the attention and the money. End of story.
30 of 38 | Posted by zevonia
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Posted on July 6, 2006 4:27 PM
Ok, I am a proud alum of Arizona State University...yet, every time I watch this show I end up thinking: First, Mary Kay Letourneau...next, Scott Peterson...and now...Wes. Sweet Jesus, what's next? I'm seriously considering mailing my diploma back to Tempe.
31 of 38 | Posted by whwhwhymustiwatch???
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Posted on July 6, 2006 8:28 PM
I don't give a crap how many people Tonya has fucked.
Why does Tonya suck?
Tonya is shameless.
Tonya has no dignity.
32 of 38 | Posted by painless
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Posted on July 6, 2006 8:55 PM
I loved Eric's bellyflop, he's probably not Katie's type due to his girth - but they would make a great couple.
Wes is a putz. I love watching Theo's facial expressions when Wes starts yammering about the "old-timers". I think Casey should just refuse to do the exile race, and when Wes starts his tantrum she should just point and laugh.
Tonya is hateable, because she's a manipulative, histrionic, malingering, white-trash tramp. I hated her on RW Chicago because she was a malingering hypchondriac, and a manipulative liar. I hated her in her first challenge because she was a manipulative, malingering, simpering twit. I've hated her on all subsequent, and current challenges because she's a manipulative, attention-seeking, disease-ridden slut. **Does anyone remember her "injury" on the challenge when she showed up in a Robo-Cop knee-brace; and when her team wanted to send her in to the elimination round she balked and miraculously recovered? She hasn't had any injuries or illnesses since, hmmm.....
Svan, you seem very critical in general - why are participating in this blog? You're kind of like the CANCER mitigating the good fun the rest of us are having. Lighten up.
33 of 38 | Posted by Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict
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Posted on July 7, 2006 8:12 AM
I kind of felt bad for Tonya for some weird reason. She's not exactly my favorite person in the game, but it was kind of unfair for them to send her in when they did really well in the mission. But anyway, that's the game and they voted on who they liked least, this time around anyway. But I don't feel too bad for her. I'm predicting that her and Johnnie go in, and they kikc Wes & Casey out. Because Casey is going to be on the After Show next week, and whenever someone is on the After Show after an elimination episode, 9 times out of 10, they were eliminated.
I'm definitely keeping my fingers crossed, because I HATE WES!!! What kind of douchebag does pull ups in the middle of a mission? It would have been so funny if he lost his grip right then and fell. Also,
I laughed my ass off when Kenny complained about Tina's ass in his face. I'm surprised he could get around it.
34 of 38 | Posted by hollabackboy
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Posted on July 7, 2006 8:52 AM
35 of 38 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on July 7, 2006 9:50 AM
Oh my goodness... this is certainly a sign of the forthcoming apocalypse... Baby Wes! Check my URL!
36 of 38 | Posted by Rayne888
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Posted on July 7, 2006 10:31 AM
Why is everyone using the word livid?? How much hostility is in the house? I bet half of them don't even know what it means.
37 of 38 | Posted by reeeeelbigfsh
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Posted on July 8, 2006 8:14 PM
Why is everyone using the word livid?? How much hostility is in the house? I bet half of them don't even know what it means.
38 of 38 | Posted by reeeeelbigfsh
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Posted on July 8, 2006 8:23 PM