This week's show started with the tribunal of Linette, Aviv, and Diem all talking about the scandalous Exile nominations. As you might remember, Diem put Shane and Linette on the chopping block, despite previous promises that she wouldn't. You see, Diem, Linette, and Aviv were going to be best friends forever and never stab each other on the back... despite being on a reality show renowned for massive betrayals and catty bitches.

Well, Linette explained her feelings very earnestly to Diem. "I'm not upset at you, Diem. I'm hurt." Translation: I am VERY upset at you, bitch. I will cut you!

"We're not upset. We just happen to be staring at you very, very disapprovingly."

Linette then pleaded not to be the first team to go on the pardon challenge, and if she was going to be first, she wanted Diem to tell her beforehand. You know, that way she could digest the information and form the proper bitch rage to complement it. Well, Diem wanted to make peace and was all for this idea, but clearly, she wasn't the one who called the shots on her team. That would be Derrick, who quickly informed us, "We're not going to let Shane and Linette win the pardon. That would be the dumbest thing we could do." Of course, I wasn't sure if Derrick was in any position to talk about "dumb" seeing that he's never been afraid to wear a tea cozy as a hat.

Anyway, with tensions reaching a near simmer, Casey then told us that she and Wes may be down, but they weren't out. "We're winning the pardon, and we're sending Darrell and Aviv in. How do you like them apples?" Whatever you say, Casey. Countdown to Wes quitting the challenge out of frustration begins.... now.

Elsewhere, Linette and Theo cuddled up together for what could be their very last cuddle in the cuddle-riffic continent of Australia. Linette told us she didn't want to be emotionally attached to Theo, but darnit, she couldn't help it! Especially when he laid on that intoxicating Theo charm, which usually consists of two parts drawl, one part twang, and five parts nonsense. Nevertheless, Theo told her she'd be fine in the challenge and that he was lucky to have met her. Translation: Yeah, um, so when we get back to the U.S., I probably won't call you or anything.

The next day, the kids headed out to the river where they encountered tonight's big event: "Jump Down Under." Basically, teams had to dive off a platform, plunging twelve meters into the water below (that's about four stories, or storeys since we're being metric and Australian). The duos then had to swim twenty feet (so much for the metric system) to the "Rave Super-Launch," which was basically a giant, inflatable suppository.

Teams would have to climb onto the thing with a rope ladder, grab a flag, and then swim another thirty feet to a buoy. The team with the fastest time would win the pardon AND a pair of Oakleys with a built in MP3 player. I forget the model name, but I think they're called THE MOST RIDICULOUS LOOKING SUNGLASSES EVER. Yeah, that won't suck when you sit on them or lose them in a movie theater.

Well, as Diem and Derrick selected the team order for this challenge, Aviv again reminded us how much she didn't want Linette and Shane to go first. Wouldn't be a problem though because Diem already said she wouldn't allow it, right? Um... yeah... not so much. First up were none other than Shane and Linette. This was followed by rolls of laughter in the TVgasm offices. Suckers.