Last week on The Gauntlet III, we reunited with some old friends, were thrilled to discover that every show is going to be a full hour long, and got into recapping straight away. This week we had to watch the Rookies lose again, discover that Johnny Bananas has ruined my love for him, and wait an inexcusably long time for this recap to come out. But hey... the drama and sexual tensions are high, we got rid of Tyler, and guess what? I even learned how to spell Nehemiah's name correctly. See Gasmii, it's not all bad.
I could go into a lengthy explanation of why this recap is out so late, but the reality is that even if I did, you'd either not believe me or decide it's not a good enough excuse. So let's just treat this the way we as a people treat any act of betrayal. I'll promise to never do it again, and you'll hold a small grudge but reluctantly agree to forgive me. Then we'll just wait it out while you tell me you trust me, but secretly sneak into my cell phone occasionally to see if I'm up to no good. I think that's fair.
We open this week with Nehemiah and Beth. We all remember the whole "moth to a flame" speech Beth was dishing out at The Duel. Personally I always thought of it as more of a fruit fly to a giant noisy bug zapper, but I think I get where she was going with it. Anyway, I get the feeling that little speech of hers resulted in Nehemiah being subjected to relentless mockery from everyone he knows. And potentially even anonymous passersby.
The backlash he received must have been torturous, because to say that Nehemiah is on a mission to dispel the Beth rumors would be like saying that one legged McCartney ex lady is holding a little bit of a grudge. Seriously, you get the sense that saying the word cougar, or even just catching a glimpse of an animal even slightly resembling a cougar could send him into fits of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder at any moment.
Nehemiah makes it clear that nothing happened between he and Beth. Then he raises his voice so everyone can hear him and spits out a few insults including describing her laugh as "witchy." After a round of applause, Nehemiah has sufficiently reestablished his rep and embarrassed Beth in front of all the Gauntlet 3 participants and most of the American television viewers between the ages of 15 and 30. Mission accomplished. Now if only he could shake those pesky scabies she gave him.
They itch like a bitch, don't they?
While admittedly entertaining, the whole Beth embarrassment scene was somewhat unnecessary if you ask me. I'd even feel bad for Beth if not for the following two facts: 1. I'm an evil, evil bitch with sympathy for no one; and 2) I think appearing on a show where you are more than ten years older than your target audience is kinda asking for ridicule. Except, of course, in the case of Beverly Hills 90210; where it's perfectly acceptable to not only appeal to an audience significantly younger than you, but also to be 45 years old and play a seventeen-year old high school student. Oh but Gasmii, that's neither here nor there, because this isn't West Beverly High and Beth is nooooo Jennie Garth.
So instead of feeling bad for her, Beth's embarrassment gets the same response from me as Audrina getting repeatedly burned by Justin-Bobby, and all those girls who get rejected on The Bachelor: "Bitch was asking for it."
Next we get a quick montage of all the budding love in Puerto Vallarta, including a clingier every day Jillian. I think by the end of the show she might be permanently affixed to Frank's back. In other couples news, by the looks of her new wardrobe, I think Tori has officially been named the face of Brad's motorcycle racing clothing line. (He really has one. I saw his myspace page). Is there anything hotter than a beauty queen in a motor-cross hoodie? Probably.
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Comments (21)
I totally agree about Robin randomly looking attractive. I figured out that she's actually good looking if she parts her hair from the side versus down the middle. I think it offsets her face by covering most of it, thus making her better looking.
PS, after Johnny Bananas "go get em girl" or whatever comment, I pretty much threw in the towel on my love for him.
Can't wait for the girls to flip out(and by girls, I mean Katie, Coral, & Robin...I love those bitches)
1 of 21 | Posted by lalia | Posted on February 6, 2008 12:04 AM
Just wanted to say good God what is up with Evan's forehead??? Wow, I couldn't tell if he was wearing a headband or if his toupee was out of place. Jeez, poor guy. Oh and I ♥ Kenny, he is so hot!
2 of 21 | Posted by MichyPR | Posted on February 6, 2008 2:37 AM
I honestly almost felt sorry for Tyler...until I remembered what a mean prick he was on his season. So I think karma has finally come back around to him.
I also have the same feeling about Robin - but then she opens her mouth, which completely validates the ugly side.
3 of 21 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on February 6, 2008 7:02 AM
YOU SHOULD HAVE REALIZED YOU SUCK AT THESE CHALLENGES BY NOW, YOU LOW LIFE BITCH! LOL
4 of 21 | Posted by nerrawllehctim | Posted on February 6, 2008 10:02 AM
A couple things:
Wasn't Brad making out with Robin during the 'hooking up' scenes?
Where was Danny the whole episode? Shooting roids in the bathroom?
Good Recap!!
5 of 21 | Posted by SkipToMyLu | Posted on February 6, 2008 11:03 AM
Obviously, Tyler did not have the power of RED GOD on his side for this particular Gauntlet event.
I didn't find Johnny Bananas' comment all that offensive. That is probably because I hate Tyler, though, so don't take my opinion too seriously.
I would like to see CT and Danny get in a fight; it would be a Battle of the Boston Accents! "Nah, dood, you're retahded!" "Nah, dood, you're wicket retahded!"
6 of 21 | Posted by MissKatrina | Posted on February 6, 2008 11:03 AM
for some reason whenever tori (i think it is tori, could be jillian though) talks i get really annoyed. its something with how she moves her mouth, not how she actually sounds. i remember noticing this on that viewers revenge show, and this plus the fact that kina was on it made me never watch again.
7 of 21 | Posted by blairwaldorf | Posted on February 7, 2008 6:00 AM
also, i almost forgot. what was with melinda's comment about how the veterans get to wear the red shirts while the rookies get the blue? i don't know why but what would be the difference really if the veterans had blue shirts and rookies had red?
8 of 21 | Posted by blairwaldorf | Posted on February 7, 2008 6:04 AM
To blairwaldorf:
That's probably Tori, I think she moves her jaw in a weird way and it makes her mouth look like a square or something.
I can't get over Evan's unfortunate hairline, poor guy.
Can't wait for last night's recap, I gotta say it was an interesting episode IMHO.
9 of 21 | Posted by michypr | Posted on February 7, 2008 6:52 AM
I'm ecstatic Tyler is gone! I couldn't look at his weird facial expressions any longer. Also, could he be a bigger drama queen about needing the money (way to avoid being a stereotype)? His delusional sense of entitlement is really grating.
Oh, and what is it with these people falling in love after 12 minutes together?
10 of 21 | Posted by SpaceVenus | Posted on February 7, 2008 7:31 AM
You summed up the Beth-Nehemiah situation well. On the Duel, he was pretty into her, but the teasing must have gotten the better of him. I think Nehemiah could do a lot worse than Beth though! She looks good for a 40 year old broad, and he looks good, well, for a gorilla...
I hated Tyler in RW Philly, but I have to keep reminding myself that he's an awful person so that I don't feel sympathy that he was rejected by Ryan and mocked by John.
11 of 21 | Posted by Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict | Posted on February 7, 2008 9:01 AM
Brad was kissing Tori not Robin. I thought it was Robin too. Which would have been weird since they seem to be good friends and just that.
Nehemiah tries too hard sometimes to be liked by Evan and Kenny. Get over it dude.
12 of 21 | Posted by bakismaki | Posted on February 7, 2008 9:11 AM
I agree Beth looks good for her age, but I would imagine she would be one scary mess the morning after sleeping with her.
Jillian is hot. I think she's the best looking girl there. Nice work Frank.
13 of 21 | Posted by bakismaki | Posted on February 7, 2008 9:14 AM
Tyler wasnt in Philly, he was in Key West, he is such a twat, i was happy he went home, he seemed like he was trying to be a stereotype
14 of 21 | Posted by preppyboy | Posted on February 7, 2008 4:08 PM
i tried to wear my tough face while reading the recap.
couldn't do it.
bravo mcsteeny yet again.
15 of 21 | Posted by k37744 | Posted on February 8, 2008 6:39 AM
CheeZ:
She looks good for a 40 year old broad, and he looks good, well, for a gorilla...
We have a reality celebrity on TVGasm!! Hey CT!
16 of 21 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on February 8, 2008 7:05 AM
@ preppyboy:
You are right. Whenever I think of Tyler, I think of Philly because of that note he left on the door for Svetlana while they were in Key West: YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED IN PHILLY, YOU LOW LIFE BITCH!
17 of 21 | Posted by Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict | Posted on February 8, 2008 8:18 AM
Great recap Mcsteeny! Looking foforward to the next one. WhAs I'm watching the episodes I say all these bitchy comments in my head and I always tell myself to remember them so that i can post them but i never do. Although i do know that one of them was about Evan's hairline/forehead...unfortunate.
18 of 21 | Posted by krickle1215 | Posted on February 8, 2008 2:02 PM
geez...sorry about the typos, I guess that I should review before I post.
19 of 21 | Posted by krickle1215 | Posted on February 8, 2008 2:04 PM
Dr Mcsteeny
Theres going to be another season of kidnation You should recap it for us
20 of 21 | Posted by warof7 | Posted on February 10, 2008 10:23 AM
Hey, McSteeny. Just for the record, Angel was on the recent season of Road Rules. She was the one who called Kina a transvestite.
21 of 21 | Posted by nerrawllehctim | Posted on February 10, 2008 3:50 PM