Gauntlet 3: The Legacy of Coral

This week on The Gauntlet 3 we learn of the heinous violence that is undertaken in Puerto Vallarta restaurants.

gauntbrad.jpg

Three of Dylan McKay's bajas were killed in the making of this fajita

We open with a full moon and the beautiful sound of a t-moble sidekick clue. Then we are told that the clues are coming from TJ. Riiiight. This leads me to the following question: Where is TJ when he's not giving instructions on gauntlets and challenges? Is he held up in some Mexican hotel room playing Connect Four with the camera men and the medics? Does his girlfriend get to come stay with him? I propose that next season TJ gets to mingle and sleep in the same accommodations as the cast. This show could use a little more drama and this way we can see who the first girl to crawl into his bed would be. I say Paula.

Over near the balcony, Ev is saying that the veterans need to get rid of Katie and Coral. Before we get into that though, we need to discuss Evelyn. Forgive me for my crudeness but in my personal opinion there are two kinds of lesbians: The kind that are girls who are attracted to girls, and the kind who I'm convinced were supposed to be born as men, but God just fucked up biologically and accidentally gave the baby boobies and maybe a vajayjay. That anatomically screwed up kind is Evelyn to me. One step above a baby born with elbows for feet.

Anyway, somebody at MTV tips Coral off that she's about to get screwed over, so Coral comes out to eavesdrop. MTV's assistance aside, she has seemed very suspicious that people are talking about her for a while now, and she has really lost her sense of security since the last time we saw her. She still comes out with the great lines and the nonchalant attitude, but there's something paranoid about her that we've never seen in her before. Eh, maybe she's just smoking the ganj.

The next day, Evan tells us that he woke up to find a pissed off Coral. Coral is complaining that she thought Evan was her friend. Cue the flashbacks and the slow music. No really, they had flashbacks with slow music. The flashbacks featured the Fresh Meat season where Coral and Evan were teamed up, and Coral tells Evan that she just likes to have one friend that she can count on in these challenges. As we cut back to real time we can start to see Evan starting to feel bad about how he was treating Coral. To Evan's benefit, when they first tried to throw Beth into the gauntlet against Coral, Evan was the first one to say that he doesn't want to send Beth in. Since then though, his loyalty has faded as quickly as his hairline.

The challenge the next day takes place on top of the Peninsula Condo and is called "Over the Edge." The teams have to walk across a plank suspended above a 300-foot building, climb down a ladder, grab a flag and then return up the ladder and back to the starting point. The team with the fastest combined time wins the challenge. The winning girls of course are safe from elimination, and the winning boys team wins Schwinn motor scooters.

For the couple of you who don't know, Schwinn happens to be a sponsor for one Thomas Joseph Lavin. So I'm thinking these motor scooters were donated in exchange for TJ wearing Schwinn logo tees all season long. If such is the case, then by all means allow me to tell you that Schwinn is by far the best maker of bikes of all time. I myself buy nothing but the Schwinn for all of my biking needs. Hell, my car is a Schwinn. Schwinn: buy one today. Now, Schwinn, MTV, and/or/TJ Lavin: hook a girl up and throw a motor scooter my way. It will make my trip to work much more fun, and I will love you forever if you do. PS if you're out of motor scooters an Under Armour challenge jersey with my name on the back will do. Thanks.

The veterans decide that the person with the biggest dick goes first so Evelyn steps up, but not before it scratches its balls and spits. Most of the veteran guys do well, including Adam who completes the whole challenge in 47 seconds. Even Casey sucks it up and completes the challenge announcing that she has conquered her fear of heights. Congrats. Unfortunately I have not conquered my fear of annoying blonde chicks.

Gauntlet 3: The Legacy of Coral Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4 

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Comments (21)

rollachick:

Love the recap..

But I thought Frank or someone else said the "I've never done this before" not Danny?

akgirl7:

I am so glad to see Casey go home! I thought for sure we'd get a good 5 minutes of her whining & crying about the height challenge.

hollabackboy:

I am a Coral lover and hated to see her quit.

On one hand, I do think she is used to being the mastermind and Queen Bee. She didn't have as many people she could ally herself with this time, and I do think she takes offense whenever she is sent into a Gauntlet/Inferno cause she always manages to get out of it. So in this challenge, she felt very much like an outsider, and like she was being screwed over.

But on the other hand, she was being screwed over. The guys blatantly threw the last two girls missions. Even her "friend" Evan, who I think is very shady and not funny even though he tries to be, had a hand in it. The bigger the stakes are, the shadier people becomes in these shows. And that is clear in the veteran guys, cause they all are selfish scumbags. So, I think she also just wanted to give them a taste of their own medicine. But, unlike tranny Evelyn said, that will not be Coral's legacy. I mean, she has always been one of the viewers' favorites in these shows for years. Most people know her for her bad ass attitude and funny one-liners in her interviews. One challenge isn't gonna really hurt that.

By the way, Evelyn's legacy will probably be being a manly lesbian who got played by a fake-lesbian for camera time.

kelseym13:

"No Danny, you strike me as a "roofie their drink so they pass out, then bring them back to your Chevy Blazer" kind of a guy. "

lmao. danny is such a douce.

great recap ahah

kelseym13:

"No Danny, you strike me as a "roofie their drink so they pass out, then bring them back to your Chevy Blazer" kind of a guy."

lmao danny is such a douche

great recap

snarky:

Hollaback, first of all, "trabajo de mano"...PRICELESS. Felicidades. Great recap.

Now, let me just say this about Coral. All the way back to her season on TRW, she's been on my nerves. She browbeat Mike (Miz) on a daily basis, and I seem to recall a whole lot of smack talking about interracial relationships being wrong--even though I believe she may have been the product of one (or maybe it was that other girl who wore waaay to much makeup), and she also macked on at least two white boys herself during these Challenges!

She actually IS quite funny on occasion, but after her "spider bite" nonsense on that infamous Final Challenge, I saw right through her. Her leaving the show now just proved that she could talk the talk, but certainly could not walk the walk. You can't try to wear the "Queen Bee Sistah Gurl" crown and simultaneously cry that people are whispering about you and hurting your feelings.

As a final note, you're sooo funny with your hatred of Evelyn! It's sorta like mine for Veronica and Tonya (who mercifully have not appeared this season).


snarky:

Oops---McSteeny, those compliments on the recap were obviously "PARA TI"!!

kaf0220:

dude why are you sticking up for coral in this blog. the snot nose had to go for weeks now. it's just that the rookies suck so much that the opportunity to get rid of her had not arisen until now. thank god that whiny stuck up biatch is gone. i feel like i just took a shit and out came coral. what a relief.

seriously i had a laugh out loud moment when kenny said he was a gorgeous machine. he really is. i'm sure his momma has told him that many times.

anyway.... i am wondering when MTV is going to just make up the rules as they go along (like they do in Big Brother) and add some f'n veterans to that rookie team. this is just getting embarassing.

MichyPR:

I think Coral was right in doing what she did because she really screwed them over which is what they were trying to do to her. All the girls were really relaxed because they knew that Coral was going into the gauntlet but when she left 'se les cerro el culito' and I'm glad that Casey is gone. I thought Evan was really insensitive when he was like but "what are we gonna do? There's still gonna be a Gauntlet." It's like well dude, good luck with that. He is so annoying. In closing, I ♥ Kenny!!! :)

LisaMay:

McSteeny, Love your recaps. Especially your translation of C.T.'s language. Kenny is GREAT. Casey has always irritated me but not as much as that awful Susie from The Inferno. Thank goodness she is not here.

yankeesfan:

Yeah, I'm sort of on the fence about Coral leaving. On one hand she is always entertaining to watch, but I also agree that she talks the talk but can't walk the walk. She has never really performed overly well, people were just too afraid of her to throw her into gauntlets, inferno's, etc. I kinda like the way she left and agree that that is not how she will be remembered.

Two things to add. I think its hysterical how Rachel does not even realize how weak of a player she is. She thinks bc she was a nurse in the army that she's all tough, but she rarely performs well and this week was the only one to truly DQ by falling.

Also, when Nehamiah (who seriously needs to shave or something) and Ryan were talking how they have the dream team - Frank's little aside was hilarious (first funny thing he's said all season) about how they were so wrong and their team is basically the opposite of a dream team.

The rookies really are sad. I don't understand how they can perform so badly!

SpaceVenus:

McSteeny, I totally agree with you about Ev. Also, I really start to hate Evan; his comment about Coral belonging to a different generation pissed the hell out of me. It's that gauntlet exaggeration (like Beth having 50 lbs on everybody). Plus, the newer “kids” forget they’ll be coming back for decades themselves.

Kenny's comment was hilarious. Frank is a douche.

I understand that the vets hate Coral and Katie much more than that dim Casey, but she was totally useless, since her first day on MTV. I'm glad she's gone.

One more thing. Why don't the vets try and get rid of more people? Having that huge team would mean dividing the final pot of money so many more ways.

shia0bundan:

I was never the biggest Coral fan, but really, she made this show. Evelyn needs to STFU. Casey too... no Casey, especially. She's known for being Wes's punching bag (rightfully so IMO), giving blowjobs, and sucking. GREAT LEGACY CASEY!

I really want a challenge with all the old vets back (Veronica, Darrell, Abram, etc.) and maybe the fake "vets" from this Gauntlet (seriously, how are the Fresh Meat vets?) could be the Rookies. They should have a 5 challenge Vet Rule... that would be sweeet.

treebug:

Casey bothers me. For much of the season I had her confused with Cameron from RW San Diego and could not understand how she changed! I think I wiped any memory of her out of my head.

Great recap.

MichyPR:

I had forgotten that Casey was Wes' partner. Now I remember, didn't Wes have to carry her bags in the final mission cause she was totally worthless or something like that? Bye Casey, good riddance.

BigBrwnEyez:

Sorry Tranny Ev, Coral's legacy will always be "I dont't wrestle, I beat Bi***ches up!" While I know that Coral has never put up in the challenges she has always been great entertainment for these lame shows. It was sad to see the changing of the guard of sorts in Challenges because Coral for the first time was outside looking in whereas before, she was running s**t. I wish she could have exited as gracefully as Timmy did last time but oh well. Clearly it is time for me to stop watching this crap because these kids just geet on my damn nerves.

sardini:

I said it before, and I'll say it again. They need to have a challenge featuring all the old RW / RR cast members that disappeared of the face of the earth and / or married Scott Wolf.

I like Coral because she is old school, but I think she's all talk. She's like Paris Hilton, even if she's your BFF, she's really not. Like Wes said to Casey at first, "Don't trust anyone you saw on TV in middle school". Hahaha! Sad though, in middle school, I was watching the San Fran season. I'm old.

angelic_shy_sweet_guy:

Nice recap.

I really didn't understand how the vets could think that Casey was more useful to them than Coral. Then again, she probably lets all the guys, especially Evelyn, teabag her (btw, I think she's the kind of mega-lesbian with testicles, not a big penis).

I actually do think Coral already walked the walk since she beat Beth. I doubt even the steroid and testosterone injected Evelyn could've beaten Beth just because of her size. In the Fresh Meat season, she and Evan were winning before they got their injuries.

I'm scared of the next show because Danny is apparently not getting along with the team and, if he and CT get into what can probably be classified as a "verbal" argument on some weird, annoying planet, I might have to hunt them down and kill them.

bnx11:

it's confusing me much when the vets are saying that Coral backstabbed them and shit, when in the first place, they were the one backstabbing coral! I absolutely LOVED the fact that coral fought back that way. Kudos for that. What now, vets. Their plans totally backfired on them! PLUS casey gets to go home!!! HOW WONDERFUL!

hoboscooter:

I enjoy watching Coral, but give me a break - if she really thought she deserved to be there, go in to the gauntlet and kick some ass. Was she afraid of Evelyn? Probably. After watching Coral all these years she just doesn't seem like someone who can take exactly what she dishes out. I love how Casey calls her "lady."

And who cares if Coral beat Beth? Beth always gives up. ALWAYS. She only returns to these challenges to get her name back in circulation. She's done more challenges than anyone and has never won. She probably knows she can only stay 2 weeks and then loses on purpose. Beth says she wants to be there b/c she's a competitor, but if that were true, she wouldn't give up just because her teammates want her gone and conspire to make it happen (which apparently is every challenge). If you're a competitor, you stay and fight.

bonita:

hoboscooter, i completely agree -- i've been saying the same thing since like 3 seasons ago. coral NEVER wants to go into the gauntlet/inferno/whatever b.c she knows she's WEAK. if you "deserve" (or want) to make it to the final challenge, PROVE IT IN THE GAUNTLET.

it's just that now there are people in the mix who aren't afraid of her b.c she can see through her shit. she's all talk and no walk. all strut and no stuff. all sing and no song. you know what i mean.

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