I realize I sound like a frat brother right now, but can we get some drunken partying and regretful sex for God's sake? I mean really, let's be honest, why are we here? If I wanted to watch a tranny level a bimbo in a 7th consecutive round of ball brawl I'd go to down to the Village.
Finally we get some fun drunken partying again. Everyone is playing flip cup and then Frank starts wrestling with Kenny. The wrestling match, like most wrestling matches between guys, goes from joking to serious, and Kenny ends up hurting his foot. Kenny winds up at the hospital where some shady Mexican doctor who works out of a wedding reception hall tells him she'll give him medication and an anti-inflammatory. And whatever "trabajo de mano" translates to. All I know is Kenny came back happy.
Kenny is fine to compete the next day and he tells us it's because he is a gorgeous machine, which I love. I know lots of people don't like Kenny's fake ego, but I find it very entertaining. CT chimes in warning that "Kenny's foot is a little tendah, so he's gonna be a tahget if we lose. Honestly, can we get a translator in here? I was having an easier time understanding the shady Mexican caterer doctor.
The second challenge is called "Mexican blanket" where they roll the players up in, well, a Mexican blanket. The point of the challenge is to be rolled up in the blanket and then roll across the course from the start line to the finish line. Perhaps the junior college interns MTV hired to come up with these challenges could switch with the 6 year Mexican children MTV hired to name these challenges, so that the kiddies can really start doing their 6 cents worth of work. Just a suggestion.
The vets win by using a strategy where they double team the rookies and block them from getting across the sand. In the end it comes down to the wire, but the vets pull ahead and beat the rookies. When it's over, Danny tells us this challenge was difficult to him because "I've never tried to hold a girl down while being wrapped in a blanket before." No Danny, you strike me as a "roofie their drink so they pass out, then bring them back to your Chevy Blazer" kind of a guy.
The vets announce that they will save Frank; Which is a good thing because Frank just got out of the shower and gelled his hair straight back, and if the casting director of Grease 3 happens to come around looking for the next Danny Zuko he doesn't want to be sandy.
Nehemiah is announced as the person getting thrown in, so he proceeds to jump around and get his adrenaline pumping. He looks like he's heading into the NCAA finals and really wants to be featured in that montage in the end of the game where they show highlights of March Madness and play "One Shining Moment" in the background.
They wind up throwing in Ryan, and the wheel lands on the game "Ram it Home." And not the way Ryan wants it to mean. Ev doesn't think Ryan has a chance, but then again, Evelyn shits bigger than Ryan. The gauntlet is actually closer than we might think, as Ryan puts up a good fight for a while.
Cut to Kenny in the confessional. talking all this trash about Nehemiah and how Nehemiah barks about how tough he is but " brotha you better check yourself, cause you look like hell out there. If Ryan beats you it's gonna be a sad day." Yes, yes almost as sad as a day in which you go to the hospital with no real injury like a big baby.
Ow, Fwank you're hurting my toesie woesies
Sorry Kenny, I love you, but those in glass houses shouldn't throw ghastly gigantic boulders. Oh, and they should probably leave "check yourself" in the early nineties where it belongs, before Ice Cube comes and beats their gorgeous machine of an ass.
Then Kenny calls the rookies a "withered band of misfits," suggest that MTV send in the US Army to challenge them, and finishes by saying there's no way this shabby ass team can beat us in the final challenge. Which in MTV talk translates to: "the rookies win the final challenge."
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Comments (21)
Love the recap..
But I thought Frank or someone else said the "I've never done this before" not Danny?
1 of 21 | Posted by rollachick | Posted on March 11, 2008 2:33 PM
I am so glad to see Casey go home! I thought for sure we'd get a good 5 minutes of her whining & crying about the height challenge.
2 of 21 | Posted by akgirl7 | Posted on March 11, 2008 3:45 PM
I am a Coral lover and hated to see her quit.
On one hand, I do think she is used to being the mastermind and Queen Bee. She didn't have as many people she could ally herself with this time, and I do think she takes offense whenever she is sent into a Gauntlet/Inferno cause she always manages to get out of it. So in this challenge, she felt very much like an outsider, and like she was being screwed over.
But on the other hand, she was being screwed over. The guys blatantly threw the last two girls missions. Even her "friend" Evan, who I think is very shady and not funny even though he tries to be, had a hand in it. The bigger the stakes are, the shadier people becomes in these shows. And that is clear in the veteran guys, cause they all are selfish scumbags. So, I think she also just wanted to give them a taste of their own medicine. But, unlike tranny Evelyn said, that will not be Coral's legacy. I mean, she has always been one of the viewers' favorites in these shows for years. Most people know her for her bad ass attitude and funny one-liners in her interviews. One challenge isn't gonna really hurt that.
By the way, Evelyn's legacy will probably be being a manly lesbian who got played by a fake-lesbian for camera time.
3 of 21 | Posted by hollabackboy | Posted on March 11, 2008 5:15 PM
"No Danny, you strike me as a "roofie their drink so they pass out, then bring them back to your Chevy Blazer" kind of a guy. "
lmao. danny is such a douce.
great recap ahah
4 of 21 | Posted by kelseym13 | Posted on March 11, 2008 6:17 PM
"No Danny, you strike me as a "roofie their drink so they pass out, then bring them back to your Chevy Blazer" kind of a guy."
lmao danny is such a douche
great recap
5 of 21 | Posted by kelseym13 | Posted on March 11, 2008 6:19 PM
Hollaback, first of all, "trabajo de mano"...PRICELESS. Felicidades. Great recap.
Now, let me just say this about Coral. All the way back to her season on TRW, she's been on my nerves. She browbeat Mike (Miz) on a daily basis, and I seem to recall a whole lot of smack talking about interracial relationships being wrong--even though I believe she may have been the product of one (or maybe it was that other girl who wore waaay to much makeup), and she also macked on at least two white boys herself during these Challenges!
She actually IS quite funny on occasion, but after her "spider bite" nonsense on that infamous Final Challenge, I saw right through her. Her leaving the show now just proved that she could talk the talk, but certainly could not walk the walk. You can't try to wear the "Queen Bee Sistah Gurl" crown and simultaneously cry that people are whispering about you and hurting your feelings.
As a final note, you're sooo funny with your hatred of Evelyn! It's sorta like mine for Veronica and Tonya (who mercifully have not appeared this season).
6 of 21 | Posted by snarky | Posted on March 11, 2008 6:24 PM
Oops---McSteeny, those compliments on the recap were obviously "PARA TI"!!
7 of 21 | Posted by snarky | Posted on March 11, 2008 6:29 PM
dude why are you sticking up for coral in this blog. the snot nose had to go for weeks now. it's just that the rookies suck so much that the opportunity to get rid of her had not arisen until now. thank god that whiny stuck up biatch is gone. i feel like i just took a shit and out came coral. what a relief.
seriously i had a laugh out loud moment when kenny said he was a gorgeous machine. he really is. i'm sure his momma has told him that many times.
anyway.... i am wondering when MTV is going to just make up the rules as they go along (like they do in Big Brother) and add some f'n veterans to that rookie team. this is just getting embarassing.
8 of 21 | Posted by kaf0220 | Posted on March 11, 2008 9:08 PM
I think Coral was right in doing what she did because she really screwed them over which is what they were trying to do to her. All the girls were really relaxed because they knew that Coral was going into the gauntlet but when she left 'se les cerro el culito' and I'm glad that Casey is gone. I thought Evan was really insensitive when he was like but "what are we gonna do? There's still gonna be a Gauntlet." It's like well dude, good luck with that. He is so annoying. In closing, I ♥ Kenny!!! :)
9 of 21 | Posted by MichyPR | Posted on March 12, 2008 2:33 AM
McSteeny, Love your recaps. Especially your translation of C.T.'s language. Kenny is GREAT. Casey has always irritated me but not as much as that awful Susie from The Inferno. Thank goodness she is not here.
10 of 21 | Posted by LisaMay | Posted on March 12, 2008 6:23 AM
Yeah, I'm sort of on the fence about Coral leaving. On one hand she is always entertaining to watch, but I also agree that she talks the talk but can't walk the walk. She has never really performed overly well, people were just too afraid of her to throw her into gauntlets, inferno's, etc. I kinda like the way she left and agree that that is not how she will be remembered.
Two things to add. I think its hysterical how Rachel does not even realize how weak of a player she is. She thinks bc she was a nurse in the army that she's all tough, but she rarely performs well and this week was the only one to truly DQ by falling.
Also, when Nehamiah (who seriously needs to shave or something) and Ryan were talking how they have the dream team - Frank's little aside was hilarious (first funny thing he's said all season) about how they were so wrong and their team is basically the opposite of a dream team.
The rookies really are sad. I don't understand how they can perform so badly!
11 of 21 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on March 12, 2008 7:06 AM
McSteeny, I totally agree with you about Ev. Also, I really start to hate Evan; his comment about Coral belonging to a different generation pissed the hell out of me. It's that gauntlet exaggeration (like Beth having 50 lbs on everybody). Plus, the newer “kids” forget they’ll be coming back for decades themselves.
Kenny's comment was hilarious. Frank is a douche.
I understand that the vets hate Coral and Katie much more than that dim Casey, but she was totally useless, since her first day on MTV. I'm glad she's gone.
One more thing. Why don't the vets try and get rid of more people? Having that huge team would mean dividing the final pot of money so many more ways.
12 of 21 | Posted by SpaceVenus | Posted on March 12, 2008 9:29 AM
I was never the biggest Coral fan, but really, she made this show. Evelyn needs to STFU. Casey too... no Casey, especially. She's known for being Wes's punching bag (rightfully so IMO), giving blowjobs, and sucking. GREAT LEGACY CASEY!
I really want a challenge with all the old vets back (Veronica, Darrell, Abram, etc.) and maybe the fake "vets" from this Gauntlet (seriously, how are the Fresh Meat vets?) could be the Rookies. They should have a 5 challenge Vet Rule... that would be sweeet.
13 of 21 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on March 12, 2008 11:56 AM
Casey bothers me. For much of the season I had her confused with Cameron from RW San Diego and could not understand how she changed! I think I wiped any memory of her out of my head.
Great recap.
14 of 21 | Posted by treebug | Posted on March 12, 2008 12:00 PM
I had forgotten that Casey was Wes' partner. Now I remember, didn't Wes have to carry her bags in the final mission cause she was totally worthless or something like that? Bye Casey, good riddance.
15 of 21 | Posted by MichyPR | Posted on March 12, 2008 12:25 PM
Sorry Tranny Ev, Coral's legacy will always be "I dont't wrestle, I beat Bi***ches up!" While I know that Coral has never put up in the challenges she has always been great entertainment for these lame shows. It was sad to see the changing of the guard of sorts in Challenges because Coral for the first time was outside looking in whereas before, she was running s**t. I wish she could have exited as gracefully as Timmy did last time but oh well. Clearly it is time for me to stop watching this crap because these kids just geet on my damn nerves.
16 of 21 | Posted by BigBrwnEyez | Posted on March 12, 2008 1:16 PM
I said it before, and I'll say it again. They need to have a challenge featuring all the old RW / RR cast members that disappeared of the face of the earth and / or married Scott Wolf.
I like Coral because she is old school, but I think she's all talk. She's like Paris Hilton, even if she's your BFF, she's really not. Like Wes said to Casey at first, "Don't trust anyone you saw on TV in middle school". Hahaha! Sad though, in middle school, I was watching the San Fran season. I'm old.
17 of 21 | Posted by sardini | Posted on March 12, 2008 2:30 PM
Nice recap.
I really didn't understand how the vets could think that Casey was more useful to them than Coral. Then again, she probably lets all the guys, especially Evelyn, teabag her (btw, I think she's the kind of mega-lesbian with testicles, not a big penis).
I actually do think Coral already walked the walk since she beat Beth. I doubt even the steroid and testosterone injected Evelyn could've beaten Beth just because of her size. In the Fresh Meat season, she and Evan were winning before they got their injuries.
I'm scared of the next show because Danny is apparently not getting along with the team and, if he and CT get into what can probably be classified as a "verbal" argument on some weird, annoying planet, I might have to hunt them down and kill them.
18 of 21 | Posted by angelic_shy_sweet_guy | Posted on March 12, 2008 2:43 PM
it's confusing me much when the vets are saying that Coral backstabbed them and shit, when in the first place, they were the one backstabbing coral! I absolutely LOVED the fact that coral fought back that way. Kudos for that. What now, vets. Their plans totally backfired on them! PLUS casey gets to go home!!! HOW WONDERFUL!
19 of 21 | Posted by bnx11 | Posted on March 12, 2008 3:28 PM
I enjoy watching Coral, but give me a break - if she really thought she deserved to be there, go in to the gauntlet and kick some ass. Was she afraid of Evelyn? Probably. After watching Coral all these years she just doesn't seem like someone who can take exactly what she dishes out. I love how Casey calls her "lady."
And who cares if Coral beat Beth? Beth always gives up. ALWAYS. She only returns to these challenges to get her name back in circulation. She's done more challenges than anyone and has never won. She probably knows she can only stay 2 weeks and then loses on purpose. Beth says she wants to be there b/c she's a competitor, but if that were true, she wouldn't give up just because her teammates want her gone and conspire to make it happen (which apparently is every challenge). If you're a competitor, you stay and fight.
20 of 21 | Posted by hoboscooter | Posted on March 13, 2008 2:05 PM
hoboscooter, i completely agree -- i've been saying the same thing since like 3 seasons ago. coral NEVER wants to go into the gauntlet/inferno/whatever b.c she knows she's WEAK. if you "deserve" (or want) to make it to the final challenge, PROVE IT IN THE GAUNTLET.
it's just that now there are people in the mix who aren't afraid of her b.c she can see through her shit. she's all talk and no walk. all strut and no stuff. all sing and no song. you know what i mean.
21 of 21 | Posted by bonita | Posted on March 14, 2008 12:43 PM