I am so glad Coral is back!! She says the best things, and makes the show 100% better by just being there.

When they got the text about the first challenge, did anybody else notice that the phone didn't have service?

Great recap by the way, I'm glad you included Coral's quote about EV. Hahaha.

So who wins lol (i had to ask)

Is anyone annoyed when Casey talks? She opens her mouth really big like she is overpronouncing or over enunciating every word??? Drives me insane...

oh mcsteeny, how i missed you!!! this pleases me to no end.

one thing that pawps my bahls though...why isn't melinda a veteran? (if i'm reading the lists correctly. i sadly admit to not seeing this gem yet). wasn't she on last season and sent home toot sweet for being a puss?

k37744:

Veterans are people who have done 2 or more challenges. Melinda has only done 1.

Mcsteeny, I can not tell you how excited I was to hear that you were recapping the gauntlet! I loved your kid nation recaps and can't wait to hear every gauntlet episode through the eyes of my favorite recapper.

p.s. Did anything ever happen with Dex?

Can I get a HELL YEAH that E.Colie is not on? I let go a huge sigh of relief when I didn't see her damn name on the list. Jebus that girl BUGS.

Brooke is a lesbian? Whaaa? She's a nutcase. Her and tranny Ev making out kinda made my stomach sick.

Love Coral. Love Katie. Love Robin. They're just such unadulterated bitches. It's great.

I'm going to go against the grain here (while quoting Grease too, McSteeny) and say that CT is a rat! Worse then that! He's a flea on a rat! Worse then that! He's an amoeba on a flea on a rat! Seriously, what the hell is Diem DOING with him? She's seems so levelheaded and normal.

Prediction: Veterans will win every. single. challenge.

Oh, I'm so excited The Challenge is back.

Did anyone notice Tyler's weird facial expressions? (ew, I hate Tyler).

Is Beth the oldest person now? She's about 40, isn't she?
Also, Jillian was on Road Rules X-Treme in 2004.

Best recap EVER! I can't decide what was funnier - insinuating Beth is a vampire or how Johanna will screw for money = prostitute. Brilliant!

Diem tries to get CT to go bed, but instead he starts yelling at her and says something about him being with her all this time, and putting time in, and then asks, "when do I get my time?" I don't know what that means but it's a certain reminder about why you don't date angry drunks.

It's good to know some things never change :

Coral is still great and hilarious and my favorite person on these shows.
CT is still an arrogant, bipolar douchebag.
Diem is still CT's enabler.
Beth is still over-the-hill & annoying & hot for Nehemiah.
Danny & Melinda are still fake-engaged.
The newbies are still getting stomped on.
etc, etc, etc.

I still really miss Veronica & Rachel though. Does that make me an asshole? hmm, maybe. hahah.

Hi Everyone!

Thanks for all the nice words.

K37744: One of the originals! great to have to back!

warof7: I honestly have no idea

krickle1215: Many Many thanks! (Dex=progressing)

hoboscooter: I'm honored.

See you guys next week!
-McSteeny

McSteeny - I too think CT is attractive in some weird way! I don't know what it is bc he is clearly an asshole...I feel like hes the type who probably really sweet one and one and possibly when hes not drunk. Brooke being a lesbo is hilarious to me...I think its clearly just a phase for her and did Ev not watch the denver season? Who would get involved with someone who is "bat shit crazy"!!! I still love Coral too although I'm sure we would not get along in real life. I actually think Robin was right and at some point the guys are going to start throwing challenges to get the girls off. Interesting spin on things.

Oh yeah, also: I totally wrote metal steak, instead of stake. Whoops! Kinda funny in hindsight.

Go Giants.

Oh, and great recap too. But go Giants. seriously.

Melinda is on the Rookies team as well as Johanna.
Did anyone notice that Johanna's front teeth are straight now? I know one of them was a little bigger than the other and kinda overlapped. I just wonder why Wes didn't go. Are they even still together.
Can't wait til some real drama happens!!!!!

Great recap, McSteeny. By the way, are you a man or a woman? Just curious. Anyway, you were the best candidate to do the recaps. Way better than the big know it all douchebag named L-Con. He missed out on too many good moments, and he kept feeling like it is very terrible, when it never was. Another thing he screwed up on was that he picked many sides he would go for and go against, and they were the worst choices any recapper would make. Like the time he became a Rachel fan during the first few episodes.

Dr. McSteeny,
Awesome, awesome recap! I can't wait to see how you write-up the rest of the season, which looks to be a blast.

I love this show so much that I am actually embarrassed about my adoration for it. Everytime time I turn it on and someone happens to be in the room and asks me what it, I always refer to it as "That stupid reality show." It is absolute trash, but I can't tear myself away from it, regardless.

Like you, Dr. McSteeny, I am extremely excited to see Frank back. He has always been one of my favorite males in the MTV reality show universe. The combination of his awesome body and slight geekiness totally wins me over. This cast as a whole is awesome though. I predict much general insanity.

I am surprized that no one mentioned the opening credits, which had me laughing in befuddled amazement for about 5 mins. What the hell was up the Vets rising out of the sand like some sort of reality star zombie convention? And the theme song, with its constant reprise of "THIS IS YOUR 15 MINS OF FAME!" is too great for words.

I believe the Coral quote was "I don't wrestle...I f**k bitches up!"

And if ur implying Beth is a vampire, you need a wooden stake, not a metal one (I used to watch a lot of Buffy).

I believe the Coral quote was "I don't wrestle...I f**k bitches up!"

And if ur implying Beth is a vampire, you need a wooden stake, not a metal one (I used to watch a lot of Buffy).

So let me get this straight, kellyhp12. Just because you have watched a lot of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" suddenly makes you the expert on vampires? Get a grip. Joss Whedon did not create the vampire, believe it or not.

:-) :-)

spacevenus -
Beth was 24 when her season of the Real World aired in 1993...so she should be about 39. Yikes!

This recap sucked ass. L-Con's recaps were much better.

I LOVE your recaps! I thought they were right on the money.

There is something strangly appealing about CT, but it's not his bizarro hair on his head or face. I guess there must be something special about him if Diem chose him in favor of Derek. (The real Derek that is, who I miss!)

I honestly don't like all these "Fresh Meat" people acting like Veterans. I would've much prefered seeing Frank on the Vets side.

Someone please tell me, how the hell did these dudes get so damn big? CT, Johnny, Danny & Brad all look like Hans & Franz! Oops add Brooke to that list. She looks like a moose!

It appears that Paula is off her Ally McBeal diet and that Johanna, Melinda, and Robin (who I almost didn't recognize) have decided to go on it. Girls, eat some Nachos would you. That said, Coral & Beth are both looking more fit then fat this season.

I'm surprised some of the dudes seemed so eager to hook up. I think a lot of these chicks are haggard, and a lot of the better looking ones are taken or have seriously been around. I'm looking at this cast, it's not like there's a ton of choices.

Coral - has gotten progressively more butchy and less attractive

Cassie - Hot, more like really cute, but she's slept with so many of these dudes.

Robin - Looks really good sometimes, but then looks really horrible other times.

Jillian - pretty cute

Tori - Cute

Jannelle - Hot, but a little too divaish.

Beth - Haggard

Katie (I think that's her name) - Haggard

Fresh Meat Black girl - sorta cute

Diem - With CT

Melinda - With Danny

Johanna - With Wes

Paula - seriously beat up

Dudes are basically battling for beat up chicks and like 2 or 3 cute chicks. All I'm saying if it were me, I'd be focused on the challenge, not getting laid, especially with this group.

BTW, why does everyone look so bloated and red-faced? Drinking? STDs? Botched makeup?

Philemon

no need to get so hostile, but it has always been a WOODEN stake to kill a vampire, not just on buffy.

and Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict

know something? YOU SUCK

Wow, I can't believe it's been that long since the last Challenge. I was sure I had missed one. Whew, my life is still worth living! It's been a while since I've been here, too.

Good recap, good choice in bitches, bad choice in guys. I could never understand what anyone could see in dumber than a post CT. Oh well, more for me. I can't wait to see him fail because he can't understand the rules again (seriously, that was hilarious on The Duel with the tantrums and everything).

I also can't wait to see what happens this season, especially with Beth and Coral going against each other like epic fierce drag queens in the Gauntlet.

"I don't wrestle... I beat bitches up."

And by "jungle fever" I mean a male human getting steamy with a female wildebeast.

ROFL!!!

that coral quote was the BEST. i had forgotten that one.

i, too was like WTF with all the new people that i'd never seen b4. didn't watch viewer's revenge b/c road rules pretty much sucks, so i'd never seen tori, derek and angel b4.

so johanna and wes aren't married yet? with the amount of emotional breakdowns, crying and carrying on that he did on the last challenge that he won (or did he come in 2nd?) i would have thought for sure they would have tied the knot by now.

melinda looks SO much better this time around. less low class midwesterner and more self confident and attractive. too bad she can't get danny to stop abusing steroids.

i love this show!

What's up with the recap?