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I'm so sorry for the late recap, Gasmii! I'm still watching Jersey Shore over and over and over again. Thank heaven for the DVR and the pause button. I can't get enough of watching that tanned dwarf getting punched in the head. Does that make me a bad person?
Here's a tip: Don't tell a juiced-up, drunk idiot that he has a tiny penis in front of his friends.
Hola, Gasmii! For all of you who were kind enough to share the origin of why Johnny Bananas is called Johnny Bananas in last week's comments, I thank you. And curse you, just a little bit. It's yet another image I will have to have surgically scraped from my frontal lobe.
Speaking of douchebags, I was walking on Madison Avenue and 53rd Street on Friday afternoon and, I kid you not, walked right past Kenny and Evan! It took me a few solid seconds to figure out how I knew them and I was momentarily insulted that they didn't stop and say hello to me. Then I realized who they were and burst out laughing. For the record, Evan is wide and hunchy and Kenny is much taller and much bigger than he appears on television.
He still sucks, though.
Apologies for the delays, Gasmii. I was working on my "A game" and "visualizing" my recap and perfecting my "air quotes". And trying to scrape my brain to eliminate this image:
Continue reading "Real World and Road Rules Challenge: The Ruins: You're "Costing" Us The "Game"" »
With Wus finally gone, I was hoping the Champions would get their act together and finally force the goons to prove themselves in the Ruins but no such luck. Fortunately, and sorry to ruin the suspense, most of the scapegoats will be gone by the end of this episode and some of these guys are going to have to step up. Dare I dream?
I think if I sit here long enough I can totally feel the hair growing back in this spot.
Sadly, it looks like exchanging sex for votes is failing miserably in Phuket, Thailand. And it also looks like we're going to have to listen to at least 42 minutes of the Cohutta - Kellyanne - Wus - Johanna love trapezoid. I'm over it. If any one of the four is the focus of any other episode - except the episode where they injure themselves in a challenge or where one of them beats the other with a baseball bat - I quit. And I mean it.
Left nipple. Right nipple. Oh phew. They're both here.
MTV owed us since we suffered through last week's total snoozer of an episode and I'm happy to say that they delivered. There was drunk-yelling, plunger-beating, head-smacking, trash-talking and even fly-eating. Another popped boob implant and I would have nominated this one for an Emmy.
And maybe Ibis will invite us to whatever party she keeps getting dressed for.
Sincerest apologies for the delay! I've been sidelined with an evil virus that not only resulted in this very tardy recap (clearly of the highest priority) but also had me calling in sick on the second and third day of my brand new job. Clearly, I am allergic to employment and am in the process of convincing the government that this qualifies as a disability. I'll let you know how that goes. But speaking of disabilities, let's see what our favorite team of mentally-challenged monkeys are up to. Shall we?
Previously on The Ruins: Wombat was a drunk, Wus was a maniac and Kellyanne was a slut and a whore. I think that pretty much covers it. Oh, wait, and Evan was an ass.
A gentle reminder.
Continue reading "Real World and Road Rules Challenge: The Ruins: You're Such a Boob" »
Welcome back my Real Worlding and Road Ruling Gasmii! Here's this week's recap: Twenty eight cast members from previous seasons of the Real World and Road Rules contaminate Phuket, Thailand and compete in the newest Real World/Road Rules Challenge/Clusterfuck. Landon is not one of the cast members. The End.
Seriously, MTV. I'm far too old to be watching this crap and would appreciate a little eye candy. Shauvon's boobs can keep me interested for only so long and from the sneak peek of things to come, I don't think they're long for this world. So sit back, get your spreadsheet to keep track of who gave chlamydia to whom, and enjoy.
Herein lies patient zero.
Continue reading "Real World and Road Rules Challenge: The Ruins: It's A Wes Thing" »
Maria Menounos is given the task of getting to the bottom the Duel 2. Unfortunately, she spends more time talking about things that didn't happen on the show and about people who aren't at the reunion. I sat through it anyway (a decent amount of Landon face time didn't hurt) to bring you all the dirt. Except it's more like dust. Not much happened kids. I'm just warning you now.
Am I really doing this?