Well, first off, don't get too concerned about the whole Kina/Randy situation. Thanks to the tireless promotional efforts of MTV, we knew that the Veterans would be going to the Gauntlet before the show even began. That was bad news for me (I really wanted Kina and Randy separated), but then again, this also meant I might get to see Derrick's possible ouster.

Nevertheless, the show began with Kina and Alton loungin' on the porch, talking about who might go into the Gauntlet if the team lost the next challenge. Alton admitted that his choice would be Randy, something that didn't totally thrill Kina.

"It's kind of obvious why you think Randy, just because of the body type and all that kind of stuff," she said. Body type? Just say it: he's doughy. Soft. Like a not-purple Grimace.

Kina did hit on an important point. Physicality was important for the final mission, and Alton knew that. "[if we do] A three mile run -- do we have to hoist him over a wall?" he asked us. Look, I'd be more worried about Ibis at this point.

Ah, it just never gets old for me.

Nevertheless, Alton continued his assessment of Randy: "He's the chunkiest guy on our team. He's as strong as a tank, but he's as big as one also." Was he referring to Randy Jackson? I mean, yeah, Randy's a little soft around the sides, but a tank? Only on The Gauntlet 2 would someone like Randy be referred to as "big as a tank."

Yay! Funny freeze frame!

Speaking of plump specimens, we then cut to Ibis who was now sitting alone with her BFF, Kina. The Rookie captain informed her friend that Alton was planning to take Randy into the Gauntlet, causing Ibis to balk, "Do they think they only need jocks at the end of the day?" Uh, yeah. Pretty much. And since when did Randy not qualify as a jock? Oh, that's right. He's an artiste.

Anyway, Kina summed up her feelings in her typical pissed off way. "I think it's stupid."

And of course, ever the lapdog with no thoughts for herself, Ibis agreed: "I think it's very stupid." Of course, none of these girls provided any reason why it was stupid. They just thought it was stupid, okay?

Actually, I take that last statement back. Ibis did in fact tell us why the decision was stupid. Randy, it turns out, was an intellectual resource. "He's brilliant," Ibis said. Randy? The Randy that's on this show? Boom Bazooka Joe? Yes, apparently Randy was a beacon of intellectualism that we should all aspire to. Either that or Ibis hasn't really been around a lot of smart people in her life. Yeah, that's probably it.

Randy = Brilliant.