The remaining duelers have lost their minds and organize a fashion show. Mark is the emcee, Brad is judging, and Landon is going to be a contestant. Best. Decision. Ever.

Grandpa Mark, in his best gay fashion show emcee accent, introduces our first contestant, Brittini. According to Mark, she's a secret agent sneaky bitch and would be a Black Labrador if she was a dog. I'm not sure why the girls are required to be a dog breed but I guess it's funny in New Zealand. She's wearing a white bikini, arts and crafts wings, and an attitude. She wants to win and get to the finals and prove she is one badass person that can't be beat. There is no one I want beat more than her.

Tori is next in a silver toga-like ensemble and a Burger King crown. She is the opposite of sexy and Mark says that if she was a dog, she would be a wiener schnitzel. I'm pretty sure that wiener schnitzel is a fancy German way of saying chicken cutlet but what do I know. I'm new here.

Tori says that for her and Brad, $100,000 is a lot of money but that $200,000 would be even more. Really? $200,000 would be more than $100,000? For you and Brad? Fascinating.

Rachel comes out in a motorcycle jacket, a towel and knee-high, stripper boots. (Because why would you travel to an island in the middle of the South Pacific without knee-high stripper boots? What would you do if there was a fake fashion show competition and you didn't have them?) She drops the towel and stuns the men boys into silence. I don't blame them. Her butt is hanging out of the bottom of some sort of bikini/underwear hybrid and (in the immortal words of Steven Tyler) it's F. I. N. E. Fine.

The women are finished and the men are up. Mark introduces Aneesa (see what I did there?) as a naturalist who enjoys all shapes and sizes of womens. She's wearing a torn trash bag, pieces of toilet paper and the inside of a comforter like a cape. See, if Aneesa had packed the knee-high boots, we might have had a competition here.

Diem walks out in a homemade bikini, a bunch of twigs secured by a giant green bow on her back, and tremendous teased hair. What part of "fashion show" did she not understand? She says she's a strong competitor, a force to be reckoned with and not an easy person to take out. Yeah. Just ask CT. (I'm here all night. Try the veal.)

Finally, Mark introduces Landon but calls him something that, as best as I can tell, sounds like "key goat" but I can't re-watch the same three seconds without losing my mind, so Key Goat it is. I'm not sure but I think he's crafted a belt made of juice boxes. I think Mark says something about Halle Berry and kegel exercises but Landon tears off two boxes and I lose focus. Forget what I said about re-watching the same three seconds.

The fashion show is over and it was a five-way tie. I think it was fixed.

Back en la casa, Evan asks MJ to tuck him in the same way he tucks in his daughter. A little creepy but MJ is happy to oblige. He tops it off with a kiss on the forehead and the sweet music makes you forget this is a competition and one of them is going home the next day. Even with the tuck in, Evan wants MJ to go home. He's sure MJ will call him into the duel if given the chance. These kids have it all figured out.

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Posted in Real World and Road Rules Challenge by TinyElvis at 12:27 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)
Last Comment: jozeyg on Jun 16, 2009 11:18 AM.