Oh Gasmii, this recap is unfairly late; and I fear it gets worse: it's going to be a little bit bad. Sadly, in the world of the outer-gasm, I have a very unrewarding job that takes up entirely too much of my time, stresses me out a great deal, and get this: doesn't even permit me to curse or make fun of people. I spend most of the day looking like this:
But I promise to come back next week with a more McSteeny-like recap. In the meantime, take a couple days to hate me, while you catch up on last week's episode, after the jump...
We open at night on the beach, with Johnny saying that Ev's move last week (stealing his key) was ballsy as shit, but premature. Then Johnny starts looking into the camera and talking shit to Ev. I hate when reality TV people do this. Who are you trash-talking? The camera man? Ev's right inside hand washing her lucky visor and counting her chest hairs. Go on in and talk to her directly.
Meanwhile, Cohutta and KellyAnne are by the pool talking intimately, but nevertheless claiming that they are just friends. Oh yes, friends. I know those benefits well. Cohutta tells us that he and KellyAnne are the only two people he knows who can go to bed together and not have sex. Where Cohutta lives they apparently don't have married people.
Then KellyAnne tells us basically the same story: she cares about Cohutta, but they are better off as friends. I don't really understand the problem with these two. There are only a few reasons a woman would say that a guy is "better off as my friend." Either he's ugly, he's terrible in bed, or he's told her he's gay. And even the gay thing we're willing to be flexible about during desperate dry spells.
Now we know Cohutta hasn't told KellyAnne he's gay because he's southern. And while I normally don't make sweeping generalizations, it has to be said that southerners never admit they are gay. They'd much rather just repress their gayness until they become angry and self-loathing, all the while overcompensating by acting like macho douche bags.
Exhibit A
Anyway, except for Lance Bass (who I maintain only came out after living in Orlando and then LA for half of his life) southerners have serious gay denial. They can't help it. It's in their nature. Like Italians and their sick obsession with Rocky movies. I'm sorry, I did it again there, didn't I?
So that rules out gay, which only leaves ugly or bad in bed. And I love Cohutta dearly; he's one of my favorite Real World cast members, but my dear Gasmii, Cohutta is not ugly.
The next day Dan is up to his old drunken tricks again. The intoxicated move of the week for this week is hitting people in the head with cardboard and suplexing people WWF style. This is being done much to Ryan's delight.
I can't imagine why....
Dan is sort of like a zoo animal that little kids ooh and ahh at while they eat their good humor bars and do the pee pee dance. It should be noted, by the way, that I myself would be that vicious little scoundrel just to the left of the little kid eating the good humor bar, who's pouring her bottled water out slowly onto the pavement, just to watch the little guys predicament get even more difficult.
The next day Ev is strategizing about how she can win the game, and she decides that the only way to do it is to start an alliance of her own. She determines that she, Jenn, KellyAnne, Cohutta and Colie are already united. This leaves Derrick, Robin and Dan in the middle. Dan is basically useless, so Ev decides that Derrick and Robin are the keys to victory. Cue Operation Capture Robin and Derrick; a four step mission.
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Comments (6)
The first screen cap looks like Brynn for RW: Vegas! And I like Cohutta too. He will be missed, but hopefully will come to the next challenge.
1 of 6 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on October 23, 2008 7:21 AM
oh man i was rollin at the dunbar screen cap!..bwaahahaaaha
2 of 6 | Posted by LOVES2PLAY05 | Posted on October 23, 2008 10:04 AM
Did anyone else notice that when Johnny had to give his key to Ev he threw it on the ground so she'd have to pick it up? Ev just handed Johnny the key, even after all the crap he said in his speech. I can NOT believe this show is making me like EV. It hurts me...
3 of 6 | Posted by jenday23 | Posted on October 23, 2008 11:38 AM
Jenday23, I did notice how Johnny threw the key and Ev handed it over. I am also shocked that I am now on Team Ev. I hope she can find a way to prevail!
4 of 6 | Posted by BRaps | Posted on October 24, 2008 8:36 AM
The only way Ev will prevail is if the producers HELP her prevail. They never find out what the challenge is until the votes are in for the face-offs. It's not like the Guantlet or Duel where you spin a wheel. TJ just walks up and tells you what you're going to be doing. They can manipulate the show that way. Watch, there'll be a puzzle or something that Ev is good at that her opponent isn't so she can win her key back or they will change the rules again. It sucks she only had that key for a "day".
5 of 6 | Posted by Thatswhatshesaid | Posted on October 26, 2008 7:20 AM
Well, I wrote my comment above before actually seeing this past week's episode. *SPOILER ALERT IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT* How cool that the remaining 4 do indeed get to go in/back into the Face Off. Ev was celebrating like she just won the lottery. Who thinks she'll actually come out on top and who do you think will get their key stolen?
6 of 6 | Posted by Thatswhatshesaid | Posted on October 26, 2008 2:26 PM