Real World/Road Rules Challenge: And They're Off! Again!

Hello, Gasmi and welcome to season 4,325 of the Real World/Road Rules Challenge! Yes, our favorite (hi, Issac!) and not so favorite (DUNBAR) cast members are back and ready to fight, backstab and bitch their way to $300,000.

Duel

This time, we're down in New Zealand, which looks very pretty but very, very cold. Paula interviews that after the last challenge, she had to get surgery.....to get the knife out of her back! Hey-yo, watch out Conan, Paula Walnuts is on your tail in the comedy department.

Brad fell in love with Tori (um, who?) on the last challenge, and they are now engaged and on the show together. Because nothing is better for a relationship then a reality show, right?

As they come onto camera one by one, we see the standard challenge peeps: Evan, Big Easy, Robin Big Boobs McGee, Ruthie, etc. The only people who we're missing from this list of usual suspects is Coral and the Miz, who are thankfully absent.

TJ gathers the cast and welcomes us back in his standard monotonous tone. He also explains the rules, which are run-of-the-mill challenge fare, just substitute "The Duel" for "The Inferno." Basically, there's no teams, everyone will complete in the challenge, and a female and male winner will be crowned. They will pick one person to save, who then picks someone of the opposite sex, and they keep going until there is one last male and one last female left. Like every fat kid's nightmare in gym class.

The last two remaining are going into the Duel, and then they get to pick the person of the same sex that they want to compete against in the Duel, as long as its not the challenge winners, who are safe. Whew. You still with me?

Evan says the duel his the coolest thing he's ever seen. Since he's from Canada, I'll let it slide. He then gives some cheesy quote about how they will be "amongst the clouds, playing with the gods." Take it easy Canada, you're not curing cancer.

We then cut to the opening credits, and it might be the dumbest thing I've ever seen in my life. Everybody is chanting in some tribal language while doing Judo moves. Its supposed to make them look tough, but Big Easy looks like a possessed vampire, and more of the True Blood kind then Twilight, and Mark and his veneers look like a cracked-out version of Dane Cook.

BigEasy_41109.jpg

Mark_41109.jpg

After the dumbest 30 seconds of my life, they all run into the house, which is of course amazing....too bad it will be riddled with STDs in just a few days. For some reason, they get gift bags that include adult footie pajamas. Um, ok?

Shauvon, looking like a century-old German bar wench, talks about everyone being muscular, and they do a close-up on this guy:

On their first night, they engage in an intelligent debate about how to effectively fix the economy without creating a financial burden on future generations to come. Kidding, they crack the bottles and get sloppy drunk.

Ryan, Davis and Brooke jump in the hot tub and make out with each other. I have no idea who Ryan is, but he's hot and shirtless and I'm totally okay with it.

Diem and CT are back.....blah. Please just go away. Both of you. She talks about CT being a douche (surprise) and ending their relationship. She makes it into a "I'm a woman hear me roar" story, but I'm not buying it from how she's hanging all over him.

Robin reports of hearing some bed springs creak, then pinpoints Chauvon. And CT! ruh roh. Dang, in true CT douchebaggery fashion, he's screwing things up in his first five minutes on the show. Last time he punched Davis in the face, now he's banging nasty Chauvon. Too bad you can't get sent home for banging skank. I am thus renaming CT to DB for douchebag, which I find much more descriptive and relevant then whatever C and T stand for.

More drunken hijinks and douchebaggery ensues. It's Kim "go to Blackville" from Hollywood's birthday and they celebrate with a costume party. Did they pack them? Or did some trusty and dependable PA think a trunkful of random costumes would be a wise carry-on? If so, they deserve a raise.

Diemandadam_41109.jpg
Adam: "How turned on are you right now?"
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Comments (39)

gasmreader:

Great Recap PopPrincess, love the screen captions. Thanks for finishing this so quickly, I was hoping someone would be recapping this show.

When I saw the clip of the fight on MTV for the show I could not figure out how Bret Michaels got on RW/RR Challenge.

Thanks for the laugh.

K

TWSS:

PopPrincess! I am stoked you are recapping this. I seriously LOVED this episode. The scene where they are all fighting while super hammered wearing costumes.....had me cracking up. That might have been one of my favorite challenge scenes ever. The costumes just kept getting more ridiculous, I mean...Evan was wearing a unitard!!! LOVED IT.

And totally agree with you about Diem. That was hard to watch. I'd rather see more drunks in costumes and less battered women justifying the pieces of sh*t they put up with.

Also, I think Shavon is for real the most disgusting person who has been on RW in awhile. Like, she's repulsive. Is there anyone who finds her hot? But I was SOOO rooting for her to pick Diem. I would have thought she was a total bad ass if she had done that, and she would have probably won. But she didn't, so she's a total b*tch, and a total dumbass since she obviously loses.

This is way long, sorry, LOVED the recap, SUPER excited about this season!

tv freak:

haven't read it yet...just have to say that i was just asking if you were recapping this show hours ago and here it is. thanks =)

tv freak:

Re:Ryan. He was on that one show where they partnered rookies with veterens...same show that big easy and ev got their starts on...he was partnered with one of the austin girls...johanna or melinda

I don't watch the real world and i didn't watch the island so i don't know a lot about some of these people. i'd appreciate if someone filled me in on what i need to know about these people, as well as their seasons:

Britini, Dunbar, Nick, Derek, and Shauvon.

kmh5125:

dunbar and shauvon were on real world australia, with isaac, parisa, kelly anne, cohutta, ashli, and this other stupid girl.

nick and britini are from real world hollywood with kimberly, sarah, will, joey, brianna, and dave

derek is from a road rules season, the last one they did i think, where they brought in new people

vegasdarling:

OMG I saw the screen caps and I honestly thought Bret Michaels was maybe a special guest star or something, and was extremely excited. Wouldn't a crossover be grand? 'Rock of Challenge', anyone?

here4beer:

The opening credits are supposed to be a traditional Maori war dance, which is a native NZ tribal dance. I actually liked that they did this instead of the usual jump out of sand/ strike a pose/ cheese.

Here's a vid of how it's supposed to be done (not great quality, but shirtless men!!) if anyone wants to see: www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoSc0fZJXns

Now that I got that off my chest, I can't believe Adam actually got a few in on CT! Also- does anyone know how/ why CT had Adam's footie pajamas, and why he was using them to staunch the blood dripping from his eye? Weird.

nflow:

can't Adam sue CT, especially since CT was not even sorry on the after show. This is the second time he has gone after Adam, because he thinks Adam is weak. His whole dislike for Adam is based on him believing Adam did not back him up during a fight on their season RW Paris/ which was 9 seasons ago, he needs to let it go. He needs anger management, especially since his brother just got shot and killed in a bar fight.

LastCall:

Great recap, and I'm thinking this one might just be fun to watch!

I'm glad CT is gone already, but I LOVED the fact that he wouldn't capitulate in any way to Saint Diem and her many attempts to subdue him. She breaks off the relationship and then tells CT that she may consider getting back together with him BUT only after five years have passed. Yet she has the gall to expect CT to remain chaste and completely loyal to her for all eternity? Talk about entitled! Fuck you, Diem. Fuck you very much!

If there's ever a contest to decide the most obnoxious opening credits on television, I'd like to nominate this show's lead-in. That godawful Maori chanting thing is just too much to bear. Even hitting the mute button didn't help because I could still see their stupid faces. I literally had to change the channel to avoid throwing up.

And where the hell is Kenny this season? I can't imagine him ever having anything more important to do, so I suppose they must not have invited him this time. I know he's a giant douche, but I miss him terribly. Oh well, I still have my Brad, and he's always been a very reliable imaginary boyfriend. Go Brad...bring that prize money home to me!

LisaMay:

to all Challenge producers: Bring back Kenny!! Bring back Kenny!! Bring back Kenny!!!

Lifesabeach:

That 'crazy' dance at the beginning is supposed to be the Haka and when done right is pretty awesome. (Like the New Zealand rugby team with their shirts off....drooool) When done by these idiots, it looks stupid.

Why on earth would Shauvon pick Anessa? Has she not watched any other season in the last 8 years? Why not Diem or one of the weaker girls?

Brenda Walsh:

This had to be one of the most ridiculous hours of television I have seen in a while.

Didn't Mark make a big dramatic deal about "bidding farewell" to challenges a while back, and passing the torch, etc. etc. ? I can't believe a 40 year old guy doesn't have anything better to do.

serjen:

I was just going to comment about Mark's "retiring" from the challenges a few seasons ago. You have to be pretty pathetic with a ton of time on your hands to make a big stink about retiring from reality t.v. challenges, only to return a couple years later. Anyone over 30 should not be on this show. It just becomes sad.

fluffy:

Maybe it's just me, but I miss Timmy! I miss him wearing black socks with his sneakers and shorts.

lydecah89:

PP, Awesome recap full of lulz! lol

This season looks so much entertaining compared to the snooze fest of RW Brooklyn.

One thing I have to point is how much of a "fag hag" Brooke is. Im sorry its quite pathetic hooking up with two of the gay meembers of the show, seriously she needs to find herself a mate, male or female and stick with it. She seems to be jumping all over the place with her sexuality. That girl is confused.

Im defintely a fan of CT as a competitor, but that dude is a PRICK! Always beating up on the weak, for christsake, Adam was in a one-sie!

If anyone watches The Soup on E! with Joel Mchale, he pointed out the silliness of Adam getting smashed by CT and CT claiming he will eat his brains. CT is comedy/reality tv gold.

CT has been kicked off twice now before the very first challenge. Complete moron.

I'm was so mad the trailer completely spoiled CT's obvious early exit. I think they'll keep having him back anyways until he finally rapes somebody, which I believe will be a male castmemeber.

Anyway thanks again for the awesome recap, keep em coming!

NotWithoutMyTV:

Does anyone else find TJ to be a big chunk of nothing?

No personality, no distinctive looks, he's not even particularly annoying. It's like they just grabbed some slacker walking by and handed him a mic.

spacevenus:

I'm sorry, but the recap seemed rather short to me.
I know not a lot happened, but the fight itself warranted a longer description. It was pretty intense, and CT is a beast!
I hate Diem with a fiery passion of a thousand suns. I hated her on her season and ever since. She broke up with CT, why is he disrespecting her for sleeping with someone else?
Maori connection notwithstanding, the opening credits were so stupid, they were painful to watch.
Like someone else pointed out, the first five minutes were more exciting then the entire Brooklyn season.

Also, Miz and Coral retired years and years ago.

NotWithoutMyTV:

At what does a reality show contestant's shenanigans begin to outweigh the ratings that contestant guarantees?

Everybody tunes in to see what CT the 'rhoid rager will do next. Does MTV have any worry that what he might do next is kill someone? Or do they truly not care?

RachWho?:

Thanks for the recap. This season looks ridiculous as always.

Can I point out one little pet peeve, though? "Then" and "than" are two different words. For example, you stated, "Because nothing is better for a relationship then a reality show, right?"--it should actually be "than a reality show". I wouldn't have commented, but you did it several times in this recap. Nobody's perfect, and I am obviously anal retentive. Just had to get that out.

Thanks!

NotWithoutMyTV:

RachWho?,

I've got an awful case of anal retentiveness, too, so I really feel for you.

I haven't had a decent bowel movement in a week. Doesn't that just suck?!

Obsessively, Retentively, and with love,
NotWithoutMyTV

twss:

PopPrincess I think you write gooder then anyone :)

winks523:

Did anyone hear someone screaming when CT broke free and was chasing Adam? I really thought he would kill him. I feel like "Troy" the producer was not being aggressive enough to stop the fight. People die from fights and getting punched in the head...it's scary how fast things can get out of control. Shauvon is trash! I want to know what happened to her precious fiance that she left Sydney for. I love Isaac! I am soo happy he's on the show, he's so hot! Robin seems to lose more self esteem as the shows go on...on san francisco she seemed kinda tough, on the island she was a paranoid mess and now she's caving into the first person who tries to make an alliance with her... MJ! Didn't MJ come on a different challenge because someone had to go home and he was a replacement? I think Tyrie went home because his gf got sick. Is MJ ever asked to be a real contestant or does he just fill in? Ok sorry this is so long but these shows are my guilty pleasure and after I watched it I was just dying to talk about it!

Blakelovesthechallenge:

You spelled SHAUVON and ANEESA wrong.

Anyway, I hated both CT and Adam and I am SO happy they were both kicked off.

Anyway, It didn't surprise me that Evan and Robin won the first challenge, I'm happy for Robin, but Evan is SO BORING!

And Shauvon is an oversexed pig. She's the sexiest female, but an idiot.

I was mad at Ryan because he knew his hand was injured and that's why he picked him.

I already know Aneesa will win, because in the MTV trailer, it shows her doing various missions, so she will obviously send the STD we call Shauvon home!

GO MARK!

winks523:

I meant to say Robin seemed kinda tough in SAN DIEGO.

Blakelovesthechallenge:

My conclusion: I hope Mark wins. He seems to stay out of drugs, and drama and he is a good guy.

I'll be happy if Mark, Brad, Issac, Robin, Diem or Tori wins.

I'll be mad if Evan, Dunbar, Ryan, Paula, Brittini, or Shauvon(Well we know she won't) wins.

Anyway, here's who the people have replaced.

Mark=Timmy(RR2)
Evan=Mike(RW Back TO New York)
Shauvon=Veronica(RR Semester At Sea)
Issac=David(Rw Seattle)
Brtittini=Christena(RR South Pacific)
CT=Puck(RW San Fransisco)
Nehemiah=Darrell(RR Campus Crawl)
MJ=Jon(Rw Los Angeles)

It's like they found replacements from the older seasons of the shows.

Ava Lanche:

Thanks for the recap- haven't watched the whole show yet, but have decided I am liking the challenges WAY better than the last few Real Worlds. I just enjoy seeing all the "old fogies" trying to kick it!

AleneWelkss:

Hello fellow readers!! First off, I have to say that I have been reading tvgasm for over a year. This is my first time posting. I have simply been too lazy to do it before.

That being said, I just had to make a comment on this show. I'm the only reality junkie, and no one understands..lol.
This may sound stupid, but watching CT lash out like that truly terrified me. I don't know what it was, but I saw an anger in his eyes that was horrible. Does no one realize this person needs help before something really terrible happens? He didn't even find out if it was Adam before wanting to rip him apart. My heart was literally pounding because I was afraid for the boy in pajamas. :)

Anyways, I have not followed him, as I am fairly new to reality shows. Is CT on drugs? Is this his typical personality? Why does Trump try to act like he's helping Rodman, but no one will help someone that is truly scary with his anger managment. Does anyone know if they just send the contestants on their way, or do they help them in these situations. Sorry, it has just bugged me since I saw it.

Sorry for the long, first time tangent. Just wanted to feel out the tvgasm world..lol. Thanks for the awesome recaps. They are freaking hilarious!! :0)

AleneWelkss:

I meant none of my friends understand my need for reality tv..:oP

ReeseWitherspoon:

When CT was running around like a madman, I kept think to myself "Taser him! Taser him!" Whenever CT is on a challenge, the folks at Bunim-Murray need to invest in taser guns or tranquilizer guns.

And I do agree with lydecah89 that CT will end up raping someone. Most likely a male cast member.

Diem can be annoying, but I think it was trashy that he hooked up on the 1st night when she was there. Imagine if the roles were reversed & she hooked up with a guy on the first night. If that had happened, Diem and the guy would now be dead and CT would be in jail. Which actually I think will be happening soon enough. CT being in jail I mean.

oldmomoftoddlerboys:

Thank you, thank you, thank you PopPrincess for doing this recap and doing it so well! These RR/RW challenge shows are my abosolute fave reality shows. This is mostly because some of these people are now my age or very damn close to it!
I have to say and hope other will comment on it, CT is on something. Steroids, coke, meth; I don't know exactly which one or maybe a combination, but come on! Just observe his behavior. Also did anyone see the after show? He seemed soooo coked up to me. He kept fiddling with his shirt and his hair. His nose was red to boot! This guy screams substance abuse to me. Thoughts anyone?

NotWithoutMyTV:

I'd be willing to bet that steroids are definitely a part of CT's problem. Probably something glandular, too. I can picture him as a hulking, troubled kid in grade school that the teachers were afraid of.

I think the recipie would be the following:

Take a generous portion of big and dumb. Add steroids and other illicit substances to taste. Bring to a slow boil over 15 minutes of hot fame that rewards bad behavior with screen-time, money, and the attention of easily-victimized women. Voila! Serves 16.3 million. Bon appetit!

oldmomoftoddlerboys:

Spot on and HIGHlarious NotWithoutMyTV!

kara:

NotWithoutMyTV I must commend you for making me laugh a much needed hysterical giggle-fit with your comment. You have no idea how needed that was.

Also, thank you to the recapper for YOUR laughter-inducing recap.

dreamkeeper:

CT must be on something other than steroids or drinking non-stop now because his body is not in the shape it was in the past. Mr Caveman has always had a buff body in the past but when he was chasing Adam in the parking lot( and saying he wanted to kill him and eat his head) CT had his shirt off and he did look out of shape. Maybe not out of shape for other normal people but out of shape for CT.

nflow:

have to log back in to say, wow, I guess I am not the only one that loves the challenges. It wasn't fair that Nick was sent home, especially since he had a broken hand, but what goes around comes around. Shauvon looks nasty as does brooke, what happens to this cast members, it's like they move to LA and loose themselves.

tv freak:

thanks kmh for the real world update...i can't stand watch reality tv non-competitions.

tv freak:

lydecah- yes, I love the soup

forgot to mention: lol at Diem's career first crap...isn't this her career?

hollagirl2:

NotWithoutMyTv...stop being a troll and have some original opinions... you cry a river when Brooklyn is boring and say you want the drama and ratings and that's why you watch and then you try to act all self righteous and call out MTV for giving you what you complained about not having.... is there some imaginary line in your head or list of rules in which certain things are or arent allowed in a show unless you deem it appropriate?... but you got me... you just wanted to get a repsonse out of people and i got suckered into responding!

jerzgrrrl72:

Omigod PopPrincess, your recap & captions are HILARIOUS--that was the best laugh I've had since I made the mistake of viewing the opening credits for the show the first time. Btw, I stumbled across this site by typing "what is with that stupid chant at the beginning of RW/RR The Duel 2?" into my search engine. I would have come up empty if my opinion wasn't shared by at least one talented blogger, so thanks--you ROCK!

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