Recap: Inferno: Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?

wrestlemania.jpgSo let's say you're in your 20s and on a reality show. Let's also say you've been sent to South Africa to compete in silly challenges and live in a house way nicer than you'll ever live in. How does one go about unwinding and letting off steam from the hectic world that is THE INFERNO? Well for the dimwits still left in this house there is one answer - WRESTLING. Whenever me and my friends hang out and drink it always devolves into us ripping of our shirts and having a nice homo-erotic battle. This always goes over real well when we start doing it at Whole Foods. I openly wonder 2 other things about this. 1. Why is Aneesa involved in this? I thought she has a leg/back injury. I'm sure wrestling is gonna heal that quicker. 2. We keep seeing Tonya's butt being blurred out, which I'm sure must have been a horrific sight for all those involved. Really though, I just have to say that nothing is more fun than half naked wrestling near a pool with a bunch of idiotic reality "stars". Why else do we come to The Inferno?

After "naked wrestling fun time" we get the usual scene of the gang being texted a clue. Susie reads it. It has the line "make sure you're charged." Well our gumshoe detectives immediately kick into high gear, with theories abound about what those mysterious words mean. Abram thinks it's bull fighting, an entirely practical guess since South Africa is known for 2 things, racism and bull fighting. Tonya, using her head for once, thinks the challenge involves electricity, which Paula says is silly and of course, to steal and old joke, tells Tonya she can "KISS MY GODDAMN ASS". Oh MTV what shall the challenge be? I wait with bated breath.

Sadly, before we can begin the new challenge, we are treated to an epilogue of last week's exciting saga Giraffic Park Feet Markgate 2007. Susie says the Good Guys are having a meeting to address all the shadiness going on (what, you mean like Cara blowing challenges to help you?) Of course Cara instantly brings up Johnny not being clear about the foot mark stuff. What did you want him to do Cara? Slap everyone on the team around until they listened to him? Johnny, who continues to grow on me despite me hating him the first episode of RW Key West, calls Cara out for intentionally sucking. Thanks MTV for the grainy flashback in case I have experienced short term memory and blacked out last week. Cara at least does admit to holding back when Susie is on the chopping block which Johnny says hurts the team. Johnny states on male inferno days the guys always go "balls out." The guys also go balls out when hanging out at the house, donating food to the homeless and just generally being awesome.

Of course no beginning of an Inferno episode would be complete with out seeing the Bad Asses discussing the game. We see Wes and Kenny talking about their Machiavellian manipulations as they play the idiots version of chess. Checkers. So I guess when not having half naked wrestling time the guys play checkers. Great. You're all officially a combination of my grandfather and a bunch of jack-asses.

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Nah, we can try that other board thingy another week.

Finally! Challenge time. We see a bunch shots of exotic animals running (will we get to see bull fighting after all?). Sadly MTV is just a big cock tease and we then cut to both teams in a warehouse. The challenge is called Captain's Chair. Each team will be pick a female from the other team to be a captain. The rest of the team will then answer trivia questions about what has happened on the show so far. For every question a team gets wrong their captain gets shocked. I love how MTV knows that these people are too stupid to answer real questions and thus always give them questions about what's happened on the show. Come on, would it kill them to give these kids a test of real knowledge?

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Are you smarter than a fifth grader? Take your time...

Recap: Inferno: Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader? Sections:  1  |  2  |  3 

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Comments (7)

Lc88 [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Good recap, but that was Abe and Kenny playing chess, not Wes.

HereKittyKitty [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Nice recap!

I really almost hope that Derrick chokes again. What a glutton for punishment. I hated Wes, but when he beat Derrick the last time, I've never wanted to hug someone so much. Some of these people just need to MOVE ON with life.

If a sex tape surfaced with Susie and Cara in it, I'd be the most unsurprised person on the planet. I wish that it was just Paula left with the boys... we saw how well that worked out for the good guys and Jaime in that challenge.

Mrs LT [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Haha great recap! When Abe and Kenny were playing checkers, I at first thought they were playing chess and thought "Wow. That's amazing. You can train monkeys to play chess?" When I realized that they were playing checkers, it was more of a "What a meeting of the minds. I had no idea that the Challenge was really a political thinktank."
And #2, I'm totally on your page with any Susie and Cara tape that may surface.

But I"m not sure I like Alton much anymore after what he said at the end about wishing all the girls could get kicked off his team because they're like cancers. What has Paula really ever done wrong? She's a good competitor.

Mrs LT [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Haha great recap! When Abe and Kenny were playing checkers, I at first thought they were playing chess and thought "Wow. That's amazing. You can train monkeys to play chess?" When I realized that they were playing checkers, it was more of a "What a meeting of the minds. I had no idea that the Challenge was really a political thinktank."
And #2, I'm totally on your page with any Susie and Cara tape that may surface.

But I"m not sure I like Alton much anymore after what he said at the end about wishing all the girls could get kicked off his team because they're like cancers. What has Paula really ever done wrong? She's a good competitor.

Ubiquitous [TypeKey Profile Page]:

I think Susie's "I love you Cara" was just more of that passive-aggressive "good Chriatian girl" bullshit she's been doing lately, not indicitive of a codependant lesbian relationship. Gawd that chick frays my last gay nerve!

raggedy_andy [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Mrs LT (#3... and #4 :-P), I'm with you on not liking Alton much anymore. Any Paula-hating will get one on the crap list as long as she's doing well for herself. In addition to that though, I was bored and watched a few episodes of "Reunited" and he said Frank and Steven made him enjoy it there. I didn't watch the original RW:LV, but it only took one episode for me to find those two (particularly Frank) more obnoxious than most of the people who get on those shows.

Ubiquitous [TypeKey Profile Page]:

Alton has been a bit of a dick lately, hasn't he?

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