Well Hung - 
by B-Side
Amidst all the Trumps and Celine Dions of Monday night, we had a brand spankin' new episode of Fresh Meat to watch. I have to do some explaining before I write anymore. A few weeks ago, when the cast of this Challenge was revealed, I kind of -- how can I say this? -- panned the whole thing. I believe I used the word "abysmal." Well, I'm always willing to admit when I'm wrong about things, and in this case, I'm happy to report that I definitely judged this show prematurely. Fresh Meat isn't perfect, but it's been a fun change of pace. Plus, I love that we've returned to the old format of twelve teams of two. Always good to mix it up. To be honest though, my biggest fear going into this season was that we'd have entirely too big an Austin contingent to deal with. Surely they'd drag down the entire competition, but luckily, it seems as though I'm not the only one with a deep hatred for that cast. Last week's premiere saw Coral lead a charge against the Austin crew which resulted in the much welcomed elimination of Danny. And let's face it. Any Challenge that gives Danny the boot early on has to be worth something, right?
This week's episode began with a glorious recap of Danny's final moments. I guarantee that he's still complaining in his apartment, blaming MTV for putting so many Austin kids in the cast and ruining his chances. Because it's everyone else's fault -- not his for alienating himself from the get-go with the rest of the Fresh Meat kids. Honestly, this all could have been avoided had he simply offered everyone a short brimmed hat as a token of good will. Ah, but this is old news. He's gone. No need to rub salt in his wounds (scratch that: there's always a need to rub salt in Danny's wounds).
We then moved onto this week's episode where we found Derrick walking around with his partner, Diem. "I think it's phenomenal to have a partner and one person to trust," he said, and no, he wasn't referring to that hairy caterpillar that hangs out under his chin. He was talking about Diem, the hottie blonde girl with whom he had been eternally bound (at least through the duration of the challenge). The two partners talked about fears, and Diem noted that her only fear was, oh, nothing major. Just OVARIAN CANCER. Great. Just when I was revving up for full snarkiness, Diem dropped a bombshell. She had ovarian cancer. Apparently a year prior, doctors had removed a cyst from her abdomen. Then, just a few ago, they found another one, but this time they removed her ovary, appendix, and lymph nodes. It was then that they discovered her illness. Very sad, but I couldn't help wondering... why was she there? Why wasn't she getting treatment? Actually, forget the cancer (or as Fran Drescher would say, "Cancer Schmancer!"). She had surgery just four weeks ago in her abdominal region. Why the hell was she signing up for grueling physical activity?
Well, Diem had an teary answer for my questions. "I want to really be able to do everything physical now because I'm not sure when I'm gonna be able to do anything physical again," she said. Whoa. That was sad. Damn it. She's snark-proof!
Diem may have lost an ovary, but if it's any consolation, looks like Derrick's lost a hand.
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