So Lando and Brit win! How....predictable. Even though it's an individual challenge, we still have the same results.
The Dynamic Duo have to figure out who they are going to "save" even though we all know its BULLSHIT. I try for the sake of you, dear readers, not to lose my shit every time I hear people ponder for more then two seconds on who they are going to "save" from the duel because we all know they really aren't safe.
Anyways, the pick Brad, who of course picks Tori, who picks Mark, who picks Rachel (hey, I thought you had to pick a member of the opposite sex, Mark!), who picks Evan, who picks Diem even though we all know he hates her, who picks MJ, who picks Aneesa, leaving Dunbar, Derek, Paula and Jenn left.
Aneesa picks Derek, who picks Jen, which leaves Dunbar and Paula in the DUEL. Insert hyena laugh of triumph!
Paula thinks for about 2 seconds about who to take into the duel, and decides on.....Aneesa?! WHAT?! What about Diem and Tori??! Both are weak, not too bright and not to mention god-awful annoying. I love Brad too and wouldn't want to piss him off by picking his woman, but I also REALLY like $100k. Ugh.
Dunbar picks MJ and won't even look him in the eye. You. are. such. a. PUSS.
They pick their games and Paula picks Back Off. Aneesa is delighted, and so am I.
Dunbar gets The Elevator. Back at the house, Dunbar is walking around punching things. How wonderful. MJ talks about his family and being overjoyed at losing and seeing him again, which is kinda sweet. I'm sorry for about 5 seconds about all the mean things I've said about him. Aaaannnnddd.....I'm over it. Back to normal.
Paula and Dunbar talk about a bunch of bullshit that no one really cares about and I check out and try to count the tiles in the kitchen. 47. 47 tiles in my kitchen.
Evan and Dunbar talk about what a crazy bitch Walnuts is. Now this is a conversation I'm interested in. Evan goes to talk to Paula, and once again, WOW. She thinks she's the victim and a pawn in the game. Don't you remember screwing your alliance over about 4 episodes ago?
The next part of their conversation is so entertaining, I must describe it verbatim:
Paula: Name one person who wants me here
Evan: I do
Paula: No, a REAL person
Hee hee, oh Paula, I agree. Nobody who looks that goofy and says such stupid shit should be classified as a real person.
Dunbar tries to talk some sense into Paula, and for a crazy anger management meathead, he tries his best to speak in calm neutral tones like you are supposed to with a rabid animal like Paula. She's totally loving all this attention.
Anesa is cornrowing MJ's hair and thank god for that because I can't take any more of this horrible Justin Guarini was raped by Sideshow Bob hair.
Duel time! FINALLY! I was running out of things to think of instead of paying attention to Paula.
The boys are up first, and as Dunbar and MJ listen to TJ explain the rules, Dunbar does his best to look intimidating but ends up look like he's constipated.
Evan lets us all know its "our first big kid match, we should sell tickets." Wait, weren't you just in the Duel? Did you just dis yourself?!
TJ blows the bong--I mean, whistle, and the race is looking pretty close. Both are getting pretty tired until Mark yells at MJ "do it for Bella!" and MJ KICKS DUNBAR ASS! Yay Mark! Dunbar, Please take Paula home with you.
In the ladies Back Off challenge, it gets very physical and brutal. I love how the chick ones are more physical then the guys one. Aneesa gets the first hook. Evan says she looks like a big angry lesbian. He also tells us the sky is blue and the grass is green, so thank you Captain Obvious.
Aneesa gets the second hook and sends Paula's ass home. Thank god these two are gone!
Next time on the duel: I dont know because my tivo cut off, but check back soon for a super-special two-in-one re-cap edition that will mean I'm finally caught up!
Where are the hookups? Where is the drunkeness? WHERE, i ask you, WHERE?! I dont give a shit about physical challenges. Show me drunken hook ups, morning after pills, and empty tequila bottles!
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Comments (3)
I saw actual Maori do that war dance thing they have as the opener on Bizarre Foods the other night, and I have to tell you: it's completely retarded-looking even the people who invented it do it.
1 of 3 | Posted by NotWithoutMyTV | Posted on June 10, 2009 9:23 AM
Dude, you're WAY behind. The show is over. Evan and Rachel won.
2 of 3 | Posted by kit9 | Posted on June 11, 2009 11:12 PM
i waited 6 months for this recap and only got 2 pages? =( im sad
3 of 3 | Posted by angelbayyb | Posted on June 12, 2009 8:50 AM