Hi Gasmii, I'm HayHor and I'm guest recapping for THE GAUNTLET III this week. I'm really happy to be writing our newest episode, because it's a doozy. We'll see Beth and Coral reenact Godzilla vs. Mothra! Katie turns into a psychopath once again! The veteran boys show us other reasons besides chronic gonnorhea that girls don't like them - chauvinism! Are you in? Well if that doesn't hook you, how about a picture of Beth after od'ing on Proactive?!
Call me a bigot, but I practice R(os)ac(ea)ism.
We start with a lovely day in Puerto Vallarta as CT, Danny and Evan plot to get rid of all their girl teammates and "cut the fat". There are five girl gauntlets left and they have four girls on their team to get rid of. Evan says that his "back is sore...ladies the free ride is over." If only he had a moustache, that would've been much funnier.
Don't be mistaken - Moustache rides are never over.
Danny says that as long as a girl goes home, he's a "happy campah". He then says, "sorry ladies. Your time is up," all while wearing something that makes him look like a trannie cancer patient/hulk hogan's boyfriend. Clearly he can be taken seriously.
I got wicked gravitas.
Frank suspects the veterans of blowing competitions on purpose, but thinks the rookies are better off anyway with more numbers. The veteran girls suspect the guys of wanting to blow it too, as Coral and Ev get themselves and the ladies riled up about it. Katie says they should tell the veteran guys that if they don't put in 100% during the competitions the girls won't do it for them. This is ironic, of course, coming from Katie because, as her history proves, she's usually scratching her ass on the sideline and puffing on a Benson and Hedges. After the girls spew their vitriol, the veterans all hang out a little later, and CT's dressed like Master Raiden or Ernest Hemmingway after a bender.
Got absinthe?
While they hang out, they have a discussion about trimming the fat, but Brad is uncomfortable with it. He wisely(?) thinks the girls will flip out if they talk about it, and of course Katie flips out. Maybe it's because of editing and the fight was escalating, but I prefer to think Katie is just batshit insane and she flipped.
For comedy's sake, let's hope it's the latter.
The teams receive their clue about the next challenge and Joanna is pumped because she's been hearing that the veterans will be getting rid of some of their ladies. They all go to the gauntlet chanting and throwing their arms in the air like the cool, hilarious people that they are. The gauntlet task is to disassemble a blocked out recreation of some Mayan pyramids, and reassemble it a few feet away. Clearly, these teams are going to struggle like the dumb, beautiful Neanderthals that they are.
"Cavemen got nothing on us"
Rachel is worried that she'll be going home because she's heard her name discussed for the gauntlet in the past, and they're the "under, under, under, under dogs." Which also happens to be Rachel's favorite sex act, so it's in the stars for her.
Underdog
CT explains in his perfect logic, how the girls are the brain and the guys are the brawn. "You girls just tell us where you want to put the pieces and we'll mix them up...without them knowing, see what I'm saying?" Brilliance. Adam notices that even though the guys are trying to throw it, they're still pretty much keeping pace with the pathetic rookies. Danny, of course, acts like a cocky douchebag and starts running laps around the pyramid during the challenge, shocked that the girls are noticing. Clearly the girls are noticing, they're just resigned to the fact that the guys are throwing the challenge. Thanks for living up to your reputation as someone no one likes, Danny.
Dare to underachieve!
Beth admits that she knows the guys are trying to blow the competition so she can go in the gauntlet and that they're going to "trim the fat, as they say." And by they, she means all of her ex boyfriends. Melinda sees that the rookies have a big lead, "but I don't want to give up. I want to keep going." Which doesn't really make any sense, except that it's Danny's girlfriend, so we should only expect as much. Ultimately, the rookies win, so it looks like we're going to get our big Beth and Coral smackdown.
Time to sacrifice a virgin! Ohhh, guess it's slim pickens, huh?
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Comments (19)
I'm sorry but are the veteran girls stupid or cowards? They said earlier in the season (I think it was batshit crazy Katie) that if the guys throw girl-gauntlet missions, the girls will throw the guy-gauntlet missions. So the guys are obviously throwing the temple mission...why didn't the girls just look the guys in the eye and jump off the plank? Either they're too stupid to have realized what the guys were doing earlier or they're too cowardly to do what they say they would do.
I was frustrated watching them run across the plank to get the guys the win.
1 of 19 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on February 26, 2008 2:47 AM
I think the vet guys are smart for getting rid of the worst girls. Seriously, Katie? She sucks. I hope they get rid of Danny, I hate his shelf forehead, his face, his cockiness, maybe he'll get punched in the other eye. And am I the only one that cant stand Tori? She's the new Kina.
2 of 19 | Posted by Poopsicle | Posted on February 26, 2008 7:00 AM
I was wondering the same thing - why didn't the girls throw the challenge? It would have been a really easy one to throw too. I also don't understand why the producers don't make these games even. The rookies have far fewer players and were at a huge disadvantage during walk the plank. I didn't think they should have been given the advantage in the blindfolded maze one either. Seems odd. Coral's gotta be up there in age too...
3 of 19 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on February 26, 2008 7:13 AM
"Casey then walks the plank and CT says the balls bounce off of him like, "cream puffs." Which for a bear like Casey, should be something he's used to."
um, wasn't that Eric!
Great recap, loved the screencaps.
I couldn't figure out why the girls couldn't figure out the guys threw the mission, or didn't care. Wierd.
4 of 19 | Posted by sweetleaf | Posted on February 26, 2008 7:32 AM
Great recap!! Loved the photo-caps!
But I have to vent slightly about how much I H-A-T-E, I mean, HATE with the intensity that would put out forest fires - I HATE the veteran boys!! Seriously, they are the biggest bunch of chauvinistic, arrogant, FUGLY-ASS, piece of shit, motherfuckers I have ever seen in my life!
And the worst part I think, is that when this is all over and their girlfriends/babymommas/fuckbuddies see this, they will still take them back and think its funny because hey, boys-will-be-boys, right? Well, I say FUCK THAT - I wish nothing but impotence, misery, and baldness on every one of them - hey, douchebag Evan (who pisses me off the most because I used to think he was a cool dude) looks like you are already most of the way there!
5 of 19 | Posted by carmelicious | Posted on February 26, 2008 8:01 AM
yeah, the veteran boys are stupid. if the girls were so fuckin horrible wouldn't they have lost more than the two challenges? (and really the first one they lost there was no way they could win and the second one...well we all saw it) so they all need to STFU and engage in a circle jerk like they've been wanting to the whole time. after all, it's the real reason why they want the girls gone.
6 of 19 | Posted by Niecy | Posted on February 26, 2008 9:09 AM
Please tell me that the Niecy who posted is Niecy Nash. I would be honored to have a BAP like that put a comment on this thing.
And I agree with everyone else on here, the girls would've done themselves a favor to lose that challenge on purpose and put their guys in the Gauntlet. The guys are going to get rid of them no matter what - Katie, Coral and everyone else knows it. My guess is, next week we'll see the girls planning some revenge that won't work because the only thing dumber than a collection of guys featuring CT and Danny is their girl teammates.
And thanks for reading, y'all!
7 of 19 | Posted by HayHor | Posted on February 26, 2008 9:35 AM
no i'm not Niecy Nash but i am a BAP, lol.
8 of 19 | Posted by Niecy | Posted on February 26, 2008 9:59 AM
Great recap hayhor, looking forward to the next one :)
I don't understand if someone is SO terrified of heights ... why would you think this competition was the place for you? Your competing for cash in a beautiful location while most of us watch from some snowy-wintery locale ... get your ass up there! ha ha
I'm looking forward to the buried alive challenge, while that would be scary, apparently MTV lets a few of them stay buried, they seem really panicked!
9 of 19 | Posted by chelle | Posted on February 26, 2008 12:36 PM
The female veterans don't throw challenges because they probably feel that having the male veterans around will allow them to continue winning - including the final mission.
Just a thought.
10 of 19 | Posted by Alafoss | Posted on February 26, 2008 1:39 PM
carmelicious:
I totally agree! I had the same reaction, including the reaction to Evan.
11 of 19 | Posted by addicted | Posted on February 26, 2008 1:50 PM
Ok, am I the only one wondering who half these people are? I guess I got lost a few seasons ago when the brought in the Fresh Meat. And how am I supposed to remember some Season 9 Road Rules replacement that was in the last 2 episodes of the season?
Also, how ridiculous that they called Coral vs. Beth "The battle of the century". Ummm, maybe 10 years ago it would've been the battle of the week at best. Has anyone who watches these challenges (besides pathetic little me) actually watched Coral or Beth's seasons? Really, is Beth even the same person as the girl in Real World LA? My boyfriend swears it's not the same girl.
I think they should have a challenge featuring all the old RR / RW cast-members who fell of the face of the earth and / or married Scott Wolf.
12 of 19 | Posted by sardini | Posted on February 26, 2008 1:52 PM
Alafoss,
You're totally right, the guys do keep the team winning and will probably be the reason anyone on the veterans wins money in the end. But for this week, when the girls knew the guys were trying to cut them out and the challenge came down to whether or not they could stay on the plank, they had an opportunity to make a statement and perhaps, have the guys ultimately play fair. Instead, they acted like dummies and let the guys walk all over them.
That's why they're chickenheads.
13 of 19 | Posted by HayHor | Posted on February 26, 2008 1:58 PM
Personally, if I was one of the veteran chicks, I wouldn't mind if the guys decided to throw missions because then the weakest girls would be eliminated. Who wants Beth on their team in the last mission? I sure as hell wouldn't. I don't know if these chicks are smart enough to realize this (Katie doesn't seem to be) but just my two cents. I think they probably don't have enough missions left for the veterans to get rid of all of the chicks on their team anyway so the strongest girls will be left at the final mission.
14 of 19 | Posted by PixieGal262 | Posted on February 26, 2008 4:38 PM
is it me or do people exaggerate a lot on this show, especcially pertaining to size/weight? beth does not have 50 pounds on coral, she is just trying to make beth seem harder to beat than she actually is. i would say that beth and coral are about the same size, but beth is amaybe a little bit bigger.
15 of 19 | Posted by kelseyM13 | Posted on February 27, 2008 4:04 PM
God the rookies suck!
16 of 19 | Posted by MichyPR | Posted on February 27, 2008 9:18 PM
So confused because of Mtv's shoddy editing/screencapping -- all of a sudden Casey became "Cases"? Is this a new inside nickname that I somehow missed? I know it's a low-budget show, but come on.
17 of 19 | Posted by jito | Posted on February 28, 2008 9:23 AM
hey jito...i noticed that too! (though only because of hayhor's screencaps). why is casey "cases" and when the rookies win, it says "Rookies W JO.?" marijuana cigarettes indeed.
Great recap regardless.
carmelicious, you crack my ass up with your wishes for the vet boys...especially the ones that have already come true. them's some wicked impotent fiveheads.
anyone else annoyed by the "vet-er-rans" and "vet-trins" dichotomy? i'm not even sure which way i prefer it to be said...i just know that when melinda says anything, i get angry.
18 of 19 | Posted by k37744 | Posted on February 29, 2008 5:38 AM
That recap was just as worse as anything L-Con did.
19 of 19 | Posted by nerrawllehctim | Posted on May 3, 2008 10:39 AM