Back at the resort, the vets are congregating in their hut and deciding which female to throw into the gauntlet. They decide on Janelle, who then opts to go against Jillian. Frank throws a shit fit and says it's not happening, as if he has the final word on it all. After MJ gives some outsider perspective and Tori promptly tells him it's too dang bad what he thinks, Frank accepts the fact that despite what he might be used to elsewhere, he doesn't make the rules around here.
I get the feeling we're not in chess club any more, Toto.
Jillian unexpectedly gives Janelle a run for her money and wins. Meanwhile, I think Frank might have just put on the most embarrassing display of rooting I have ever witnessed. And I've been to Fenway. He actually yelled out awkward things like "yeah, you deserved that ball!" Oy. Frank, sweetie, I appreciate your loyalty and all, but stick to taking your shirt off and clapping. Trash talking's not your bag, baby. Now, let's get back to the resort before every football stadium in California bans you from entering.
This would have been the perfect time for some classic Challenge drama. Instead we get another clue about tomorrow's challenge. Yawn. I love the fact that this show is an hour long, but hate the fact that there are two challenges and two gauntlets. Where is the drama and the fun plotlines? Katie, Beth and Coral are sharing a room for Christ's sake. The three of them in one room and no drama? That's like putting Aubrey in the same house as the guys from The Band and no one walking out of there with a blow job. And herpes.
As long as I'm complaining, I have to give you a side note about this guy sitting next to me in Starbucks, who is on the phone talking to someone about how fantastic his children are. Why do parents insist on pretending their kids are better than they are? In this particular case, Emma is 2 but is a child prodigy who is speaking at a 5 year old level. (That's 70 month years to you, MJ). And Billy is 7 and apparently the best looking 7 year old in America. All the girls are after him. Last time I checked, 7 year old girls still believed in the cootie philosophy, Sir. Oh, and two year olds don't speak, they babble. Just once I'd love to hear a parent suck it up and speak the truth: "Yeah, Susie's a sweet girl, but that schnoz is gonna cost me a fortune in plastic surgery costs down the line. And Little Timmy's not much better. He sucks at t-ball, and splits his time between nose picking and whining like a little bitch. The wife wants another one, but I'm scared it can only get worse."
Anyway, the next challenge requires the teams to shimmy across mid-air. We get reminded by a Fresh Meat clip that Casey doesn't take too well to heights. Speaking of Casey, why does she make such extreme facial expressions when she talks? All of the eye rolling and face straining makes MY face hurt. The overacting is unbearable. It's like Cameron Diaz movie gone terribly wrong.
I could be Jell-O...
Instead of bailing out of the challenge this time, Casey resorts to sitting on the concrete uselessly holding on for dear life. She says she pisses her pants, and I really want to know if she means that literally. That's when Evan gives the quote of the week for me when he says "Girls, you're afraid of heights, you're dyslexic, you can't color inside the lines...we get it. You suck." Good one, Fivehead. Now go help Coral try to squeeze Eric into that life vest.
When the veterans win, they send in Frank, and I'm momentarily confused. Frank told me in my interview with him that he and Adam are best friends. Frank and Adam spent time earlier talking about how to save Jillian from the gauntlet. And now Adam is leading the charge on sending Frank in? What gives, Ad? And why didn't Frank get pissed and start shouting nerdily after the announcement? That's when it hit me: Adam did it on purpose, to help Frank. Adam knew the vets were looking to throw in one of the rookie's bigger guys, so he made sure they picked Frank so that Frank could choose to go against one of the smaller guys, rather than risk having Frank be pulled in to the gauntlet by Derek or MJ. Actually a really smart move.
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Comments (11)
I grew up in Southern CA and have heard people say "balls out" and "balls to the wall".
Frank sticking up for Jillian really annoyed me. It was probably just the way they edited it, but she should have fought her own battles instead of sitting there silently.
1 of 11 | Posted by SnackyCakes420 | Posted on February 22, 2008 12:19 AM
i have been seriously slacking on my gauntlet this season. I hereby vow to make more of a snarkiness effort. might be the weather. snark's just not flowin like it used to.
janelle's an idiot for picking someone with an undefeated record plain and simple. jillian crushed everyone she went up against...meaning she was the worst person to pick. these chicks are half-assing it big time. dust off my red, white and blue loverboy headband and let me show you how it's done. bunch of marys.
anyone remember the 'Return to Las Vegas' antics and frank's turn at being a playboy? i have a feeling miss jillian is going to look back at this and cringe. like making out with that sorta cute guy at the bar that one night and being mildly proud of yourself. that is until you and your friends run into him again and you realize you were slummin big time and it ain't gonna look good on a resume. at least jillian's faux pas is on tape. bravo.
2 of 11 | Posted by k37744 | Posted on February 22, 2008 5:10 AM
Frank is by far the most annoying rookie. The way he was fighting to Jillian was SOOO annoying. Especially since his reasoning was nonsense. Had it been any other girl who was thrown into the gauntlet each time he would not have cared. Then when he was screaming for her in the gauntlet...I wanted to throw a rock at him!
3 of 11 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on February 22, 2008 7:18 AM
By the way, how many times are we going to hear the phrases "top dog" and "trim the fat"?
May I add "chopping block" to that list please?
Maybe thats whats so bad about this show this time-(besides no coral/katie/beth action so far) no original thinking!
4 of 11 | Posted by sweetleaf | Posted on February 22, 2008 7:29 AM
Once again, nice recap Dr. McSteeny. I love the first two captions - "No Offense Janelle" and "Ten Inches You Say?...Riiight" And I didn't even catch MJ's baby mistake. Hilarious.
I do agree the episodes could be better if they added some of the behind the scenes stuff instead of showing 2 challenges and 2 gauntlets. It might as well be a half hour show again.
5 of 11 | Posted by hoboscooter | Posted on February 22, 2008 9:23 AM
It's actually 60 months years.
Anyways, I wonder why they keep sending Jillian in, the Vets I mean, Did I miss something?
6 of 11 | Posted by MichyPR | Posted on February 22, 2008 10:37 AM
sweetleaf: Yes!!! I totally cringe every single time I hear "chopping block." And it's not just this show--it drives me nuts.
Awesome recap. I loved MJ's months years. There wee so many hilarious things about this recap I don't know where to start, so I'll take the lazy way out and just say kudos.
Just for spits and giggles, I say "balls to the wall" quite often. Usually, I'm doing it to sound especially hokey. I've heard my share of it here in the dirty south.
7 of 11 | Posted by VolGirl | Posted on February 22, 2008 10:44 AM
Just wanted to add, if y'all didn't know already. I looked up Brad's myspace page and it looks as if him and Tori are officially together now. So they're not just hooking up, like i thought everyone was doing in the Gauntlet. He has pics of both of them together on his page. =)
8 of 11 | Posted by jozeyg | Posted on February 22, 2008 1:56 PM
You know, as soon as I saw the rules for the first challenge, I had the feeling that one of the idiots on this show would end up injuring himself or herself. Why can't people understand that you should never give two-by-fours to anyone even remotely connected to MTV?
Also, when I saw Frank cheering Jillian on, my first thought was, "This dude is getting laid tonight!" I actually thought it was kind of cute, but I'm a bit partial to Frank, anyway.
9 of 11 | Posted by Philemon307 | Posted on February 24, 2008 7:54 PM
balls to the wall gets used in the midwest as well... although once i was trying to think of it to use and came out with "balls to the wind" yeah... use it and pass it on :)
10 of 11 | Posted by tvkitty | Posted on February 25, 2008 11:23 AM
I thought Janelle would put up more of a fight. Seriously, wtf? Scratch her f-cking eyes out, b-tch. It's disappointing 'cause Frank and Jillian are uber-irritating. I thought it was a hilarious farce that Frank said Jillian was in there twice already when one of those times was against Brooke. F-cking Brooke! If that Gauntlet event was who could be a nutty, nonathletic faux-lesbo, then, yeah, Jillian went in twice, but, as it stands, she only really went in once before this one.
11 of 11 | Posted by angelic_shy_sweet_guy | Posted on February 29, 2008 1:15 PM