Previously on The Ruins: Wombat was a drunk, Wus was a maniac and Kellyanne was a slut and a whore. I think that pretty much covers it. Oh, wait, and Evan was an ass.
A bunch of the Champs are sitting around and talking about -- what else -- Wus. Evan is pissed because Wus has done nothing to repair his relationship with the team. Now, I'm not prepared to defend Wus just yet but it's not like The Brain Trust (Evan, Kenny and Johnny) are completely blameless. I don't recall any of them reaching out to make amends either.
Who's in charge of headgear on this show? I do not approve. Johnny is going to reverse-psychology the crap out of Wus, dictate that they're making performance-based decisions and when Wus throws missions, they'll use that to justify throwing him into the Ruins every time.
Fat Asian (which I'm now shortening to Fasian because it takes too long to type and I'm nothing if not lazy) explains to them that they can't be enemies with Wus the entire time and then come together at the end to win the final challenge. Also, if Wus is on their team, she doesn't think they'll lose any challenges at all.
Susie: Can someone hand her a big glass of shut the fuck up?
Here's the deal, Fasian: Have you seen your team? The Champions are stacked. Even if the final challenge was the Challenger Guys versus the Champion Girls, the girls could win in a heartbeat. Wus is unnecessary. In fact, I bet Veronica and Fasian have more testosterone in their little pinkies than all the Challenger Guys combined.
Johanna suggests that the guys have a meeting with Wus to smooth things over. If they do and if Wus is still an ass and they decide to throw him in every time, Johanna will support that.
Fasian moves outside to talk to Kellyanne. Kellyanne tells her that Johanna asked if she and Fasian were like BFFs and wanted to know what they talked about.
Kellyanne tells us that Fasian is 55% of the reason why she decided to come to the challenge.
Fasian goes on to explain that she and Kellyanne are in the same position: They're the strongest girls on their team and the teams are made up of weak, insecure women that want to get rid of them because they're scared. That and the Challenger Girls don't like Kellyanne.
Kellyanne says that Johanna shows her no respect (could be because you're sleeping with her ex-fiance but I can't be sure) and even though Johanna says that she has no problem with Kellyanne, she's quick to say that Kellyanne is a slut and a whore and has fake boobs. Isn't truth an absolute defense?
Ugh. Now it's Johanna's turn to talk to Wus and explain that if Wus decides to be a team player they can get through this and make money. She accuses Wus of parading around the house with his girlfriend and tells us that there's just something about Kellyanne that she dislikes.
Or could it be that she's sleeping with your ex-fiance? I just wish we could figure out this tricky little riddle. Wus cries about the fact that he was supposed to be such an important person in Johanna's life and then she goes and fucks Kenny on national television.
So Wus is still hurt that Johanna slept with Kenny and Johanna is hurt that Wus is sleeping with Kellyanne. Wus is pissed that she doesn't understand where he's coming from and she's tired of trying to be his friend and trying to protect him.
Then they get a clue: It's time to get into the swing of things. And they're told to wear bathing suits and team uniforms. Cohutta is charge of reading the clue and explains that the Challengers are down two players and it would be great to pull out a "W" because no one likes to lose.
« Grey's Anatomy: No Sleep, No food, No Problem | Main | The Hills: Bitch Trumps Bitch. »
Comments (13)
Tiny Elvis...you totally rocked the recap!! I gasped (out loud for which my boyfriend chided me, but whatevs) when Johanna pulled the house card on Wes. Boyfriend even got a little interested at that point. I swear, based on the previews, that house must be a petri dish and should be cleaned by one of the crime-scene crews that comes in and cleans up after some horrendous murder. I missed Wombat this episode. I just wish crazy Paula and even crazier Brooke were on this season...that would be golden!
Keep up the good work Tiny Elvis, I love reading all of your recaps!
1 of 13 | Posted by Marijai | Posted on October 8, 2009 3:30 PM
Were Wes and Johanna together when J did Kenny?
2 of 13 | Posted by plockeness monster | Posted on October 9, 2009 6:25 AM
There is still so much (sexual?) tension between Wess and Johanna. They seem to interact much more then Wess and Kellyann, or maybe that's just editing.
So what the hell happened to the Sydney cast? Cohutta looks the same, but Kellyann hasn't exactly aged gracefully, and Shauvon just looks like a mess. I don't know about Dunbar, I've only seen him in the opening credits.
3 of 13 | Posted by sardini | Posted on October 9, 2009 6:58 AM
Great recap! When Wes came at Johnny, I could not stop laughing. I dislike Wes, but Johnny was sooo scared of him, at that point. Sardini- I agree w/ you. So much sexual tension b/w those two boneheads! GROSS!
4 of 13 | Posted by plockeness monster | Posted on October 9, 2009 7:12 AM
plockeness monster... Wes and Johanna were not together when she hooked up with Kenny, they had been broken up for a few months. So he doesn't really have a right to be this mad about it... unless they were all mutual friends and he sees it as Kenny breaking "mancode" or something like that.
very funny recap TinyElvis!
5 of 13 | Posted by pixyamiga | Posted on October 9, 2009 7:29 AM
Wes is still in love with Johanna!!!!
Kelly Anne is FUGLY!!
Tiny Elvis: the "brain trust" shouldn't have to make amends. They did nothing wrong! Wes would not listen and tried to bulldoze everyone.
Why are Cohutta and Nick put in the ruins every time?
Katie has totally mellowed out this season.
And finally, EVELYN WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME THING IF SHE HAD THOUGHT OF IT FIRST!!! She wants to cry cry cry that she was screwed over when she was on her way to devising her own screw over plan.
6 of 13 | Posted by LisaMay | Posted on October 9, 2009 8:00 AM
Does anyone else thing Wes's face looks like a giant penis? A big, blotchy-complexioned penis, that is always earing a petulant look.
One of the great medical mysteries of the 20th century was a man who lived a normal life but was found after his death to have no brain. Instead of a brain, he had only a bundle of engorged ganglia emerging from his spine, which apparently handled all the duties of a normal brain. This man was Abraham Lavin, T.J. Lavin's grandfather. It's true, you can look it up on The Innerwebs!
Explains a lot, doesn't it??
7 of 13 | Posted by NotWithoutMyTV | Posted on October 9, 2009 11:44 AM
Did Evelyn have the option to say "no I'm not going in any more, how about Susie or Katie go against Kellyanne?"
It's so frustrating sometimes watching this show because there are so many conversations we don't get to see. On the aftershow, Johnny made it seem like Evelyn presented the idea of going up against Kellyanne. I don't like Johnny, how come he talks like Kenny now? He didn't talk like that in key west.
I think Johanna threatening to sell Wes' house is a new low and pretty pathetic. The house compares to how much she wants to win at some stupid challenge? I bet Johanna didn't donate one dime to the down payment of Wes' house.
Casey is a moron and I wanted to punch her when she goes "FINALLY" when Evelyn gave Kellyanne the win. Casey thinks she's in on everything when really she'll probably be gone next.
It's hard to believe these people function outside of the "real world" (how ironic, hah) but that just makes it so much more fun to watch!
Also, Shavun scares me and I think she may have motivated me to step it up at the gym. I just looked at the sydney real world recaps and yes, she had big boobs back then, but she did not look blown up. You'd think the opposite would happen...you go on TV and you lose weight, not gain like a 100 pounds and still think you're hot because you have big boobs.
I was cracking up when you wrote "like she could beat anyone"
I am now rooting for the challengers
8 of 13 | Posted by winks523 | Posted on October 9, 2009 12:36 PM
After this episode I REALLY hate Johanna. I feel that the champions are being really unfair and I'm team Wes all the way. Kenny is such an @$$. I loved on the Aftershow how Wes was saying that he and Kenny used to be friends until he boinked Johanna but what could you expect from a guy who was really fat all the way up to high school and suddenly got thin and good looking. lol didn't know that about Kenny
9 of 13 | Posted by MichyPR86 | Posted on October 9, 2009 2:49 PM
Okay I have a few questions:
What is the origin of Evelyn's name, Fat Asian, now abbreviated to Fasian? She's neither fat nor asian. What am I missing here?
Do you mind if I call Wus by his alternate name, Sponge Bob Square Head?
Wasn't Evan okay once upon a time? I think I stopped liking him the year he turned on Coral. He caved to peer pressure. Talk about a wuss.
And finally, Tiny Elvis, may I ask how you manage to drive a car? Do you have to stand on the dashboard?
10 of 13 | Posted by NYdiva | Posted on October 9, 2009 5:13 PM
Everybody in that house is on steroids.
11 of 13 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on October 9, 2009 7:05 PM
"Tiny Elvis: the "brain trust" shouldn't have to make amends. They did nothing wrong!"
Reading that sentence almost made my head explode.
I'm at the point where I have to keep my index finger directly over the mute button during this show lest I be subjected to another cringe-inducing confessional from Johnny Bandanas or, God forbid, pasty faced Evan. I'm not sure I'll even make it to the end of the season this time. I just hate SO many of these people SO much. Susie is a stupid cunt. Darrell is a stupid cunt. Johanna is a stupid cunt (and always has been, IMO). The Brain Trust is a loose alliance of stupid cunts. Wes has a long history of being a stupid cunt, and yet I still feel compelled to cheer him on because he seems to be doing his best to outcunt the three cunts in the Brain Trust. But he actually put his house in Johanna's name alone??? I'd bet dollars to donuts that a promissory BJ played some part in that transaction. I'm not sure whether Kellyanne is a stupid cunt or a batshit crazy cunt...she's got the crazy eyes, if you ask me.
Adam and Cohutta and a few of the other extras are still alright with me, I guess. B-rad is practically invisible and I'm gonna be pissed if he remains that way right up till the time he gets all beat up and bloodied and then leaves the show. If that's BMP's plan, then screw you, BMP!!! Also, I think the producers may be hiding qualudes in Katie's Alpo. I've never seen her this quiet before.
p.s.
It's OK to use the word "cunt" here, right? Because I can can come up with a substitution if need be...poopyhead or something like that might work.
12 of 13 | Posted by LastCall | Posted on October 12, 2009 12:31 PM
hahaa did anyone watch the aftershow?
they showed a dailies clip and kenny telling dumb-bear that he "could be in a gay mans magazine" when he was swinging onto the platform, i guess he was trying to tell him he looked sexy or something, but dumbbear was pissed...he really cant handle being made fun of
13 of 13 | Posted by loves2play05 | Posted on October 12, 2009 4:15 PM