Later that night, Paula catches Dunbar and Kimberly making out in the woods and is totally fine with it. Actually, she pretty much plots her death, and I bet it involves tying her up and leaving her in Blackville, because you know shit goes down there. Paula tells the camera that she thought Dunbar had a girlfriend, and once again, I have to ask: Did you SEE his season? He cheated on her like the whole freaking time!
Big Easy is uneasy about the pecking order and goes to consult the Oracle known as B-rad about it.
Inside the house, somebody's under the blanket and Paula wants to know who! Its a shirtless Dunbar and a stupid Kimberly. Paula no likey. Kimberly thinks it's innocent but me and Dunbar's-Girlfriend-Julie disagree.
Paula plays sad sack but tells us she's totally NOT jealous. Hell to the no!
It's finally the next day and time for the save ceremony. TJ puts some Visine in his eyes to take the red out and asks Lando and Brit who they want to save, even though the bottom two people can turn right around and call them into the duel which is exactly what happened to Lando last week with Issac, so it's really not saving anyone, but why bring logic into an MTV show so let's just roll with it. Landon and Brit "save" Mark, who "saves" the other elder Rachel, who "saves" Brad, who of course "saves" Tori, who picks because I'm getting tired of writing saves in air quotes Evan, who of course picks Diem, who picks MJ, who (yawn) picks Aneesa, who picks Big Easy, who picks Jenn, who picks Dunbar, who now he has to pick between Kimberly and Paula! Ohh shit!
Dunbar takes a moment to think. Paula is PISSED that he's even pausing and is already threatening to stomp on his nuts. Not the best way to convince him to vote for you.
"Such tough decisions....do I pick the girl who wants to suck on my nuts or the girl who wants to stomp on them?"
Dunabr says "most of the time Paula has not been my friend" but in true MTV mis-direction fashion, he picks Paula.
So Kimberly and Derek are going to the Duel. Derek takes Big Easy to the Duel. Kimberly takes Jenn. Really? She's already been in and proved she's pretty ferosh. Why not take on toothpick Brittini? But, too begrudgingly give her credit, Kimberly has been in the Duel a few times and held her own.
Derek picks Duel Pole Dancing, which I like to call "No Chance In Hell Big Easy." Kimberly picks Push Over.
Derek is very hawt, but I wish he had a bit more personality. Not Evan level-personality, more like old school Brad. I guess I'll have to watch his scenes on mute with Brad doing a voice over from his San Diego days.
Duel Pole Dancing is stupid. You and your dueler climb up a big pole and fight over footholes and pegs. Big Easy is talking a big game but not doing much besides pushing D off every time he gets a few feet off the ground. It's kinda working since D is getting tired and frustrated.
Easy starts to make a decent effort up the pole, but falls off himself and D is up the pole like a spider monkey. Or a stripper auditioning for Rock of Love.
D gets pretty close to the top then falls down, again. Aye, this is torture for me and I'm only watching it. Both are pretty tired. D starts making good progress and finally puts Easy out of his misery.
Time for the Lady Duel. Kimberly walks into the Duel like she's in the bathing suit challenge of the MIss America pageant.
There's a close-up on MJ for some reason, and I have to say, MJ is getting uglier the longer he stays. If he wins, he'll have to take up residence under a NZ bridge and spend his days scaring little children.
TJ honks the horn to start the duel and wonders how he can turn it into a bong. I've always loved the way stoners can't back their car out of the driveway, but can make a bong out of a stuffed animal and a twisty tie.
Anyways, Jenn rushes Kimberly and knocks Kim off her feet. Paula is creaming her pants and Dunbar is shitting his.
Jenn knocks her ass off and wins the round. Rachel says she manhandles Kim, which I think turns her on. Dunbar is PISSED and pouty and Paula is pleased as punch. They hug goodbye.
« America's Next Top Model Finale: Windy-Face Vs. Scaredy-Eyes | Main | I Love Money 2: Reunified »
Comments (10)
OMG. pop princess....I love, love, LOVE your recaps and give you mad props for polishing a turd.
today i love you even more for misspelling "Florida" in your rant about MTV outsmarting you. ;)
marry me.
1 of 10 | Posted by k37744 | Posted on May 18, 2009 2:59 PM
@ k37744 : OK I totally LOL'ed when you pointed out my mistake and I'm NOT FIXING IT!
2 of 10 | Posted by PopPrincess! | Posted on May 18, 2009 3:54 PM
HEY, lay off Kimberly-She's been NICE and kind to everyone and didn't even get mad when Dunbar picked Paula. Who cares if she's racist, I'm sure there's more that are, they are just keeping it quiet. She's the ONLY one with GUTS to admit it.
And I was mad that both Isaac and Eric went home, I was hoping Derek would pick Evan and take him out.
Anyway, I predict Dunbar and Paula will go home next week.
3 of 10 | Posted by Blakelovesthechallenge | Posted on May 19, 2009 4:17 AM
I'm with Blakelovesthechallenge.....I know Kim made a dumb comment on her other show but she seems to be one of the most normal chicks in the house.
4 of 10 | Posted by Baxter | Posted on May 19, 2009 5:52 AM
Honestly, Bri herself has said that Kim was one of the people she was closest to in the Hollywood house and that she and Kim have talked about all the comments in that one ep. I couldn't stand Kim on her RW season, but on this challenge, she really hasn't bothered me at all -- I'll take her ANY DAY over Paula, for sure.
5 of 10 | Posted by LitChick35 | Posted on May 19, 2009 9:23 AM
I have to admit yet again, how much I love this friggin' show. And the recaps just make me like it even more, because I get to read about all of the things that I am thinking while I watch it.
But I must say that I get so friggin sick and tired of listening to these pansy ass guys talk about how others are playing the game shady. Same with survivor and pretty much every other reality game show. "They don't play the game with honor." "He lied to me." blah, blah, blah.
It is a game. They are all there to win. is there a right way and a worng way to win as long as it is within the rules?
Every time Evan has got called into the Duel he has bitched and moaned like a little ol' girl. Look at Big Easy and Landon. they get called in and they go in whithout a word to say and do their best to win. Landon took care of business without saying a word. Big Easy went home without a cross word to anyone.
If I wnet on one of these shows I would lie, cheat and steal to win. And even more importantly I would expcest everyone else to do the same to me.
I will say that the duels will be pretty interesting from here on out because all of the weaker players are gone.
6 of 10 | Posted by v_cap | Posted on May 19, 2009 9:26 AM
PopPrincess I LOL'd when I saw you spelled Florida wrong. I can relate though, I once posted a smartass facebook comment spelling genius wrong. Ah the irony.
Also, am I a total tool because I kept laughing at the fact that all the duelers had rhyming names? Eric and Derek and Kim and Jenn. Heee hee.
I think the answer is yes, yes I am a total tool.
Awesome recap!!
7 of 10 | Posted by twss | Posted on May 19, 2009 10:26 AM
Kimberly isn't half as annoying as she was on RW. Actually she's not too bad, but I still love your references to blackville. Kim should've picked Diem - what a total fake (she couldn't have picked Brittini b/c her and Landon won that challenge).
8 of 10 | Posted by hoboscooter | Posted on May 19, 2009 12:26 PM
Evan is totally the Danny Gokey of RR/RW Challenges!
9 of 10 | Posted by carmelicious | Posted on May 20, 2009 7:32 AM
You know I was really hoping Mark would win the challenge again just so he could yell "PRUNES!", grab onto his walker, and then wonder where the hell he is.
...Or maybe I will just leave all of the old jokes up to you PopPrincess.
Excellente recap, I was just as annoyed with Paula as you were. I never thought she was that bad until now. I mean, at the end of the Island she was a whiny snot, but now she is one of those clingy, whiny snots. WHAT WILL FIX THIS NONSENSE??
10 of 10 | Posted by congratsmeathead | Posted on May 20, 2009 9:23 AM