Long ass recap, but so worth every hilarious paragraph! You nailed the recap world L Con! Looking forward to each recap by you!!!

Hey, L Con. I didn't understand the recap at first. But afterwhile, I understood it. You had some good jokes. When I saw Danny say that stuff about CT, I thought that was the first ever WICKED good thing he ever did. Do you guys think CT should ever do a challenge again?

I hate CT, he's such an assclown! Nice choice in men, Diem. I was GLAD to see him go....but then came Derrick. Eh, whatever.
Gah where was the cameraman when Davis got clocked? Doing body shots with Colie and/or Tanya?
Someone needs to be fired for that miss!

As for the season clips.....I don't think Janelle is preg with Johnny's baby...it was probably a scene where she was coniving to get out of going into the Inferno, so she prob just told Johnny "We'll tell them Im pregnant with your kid" to get out of it. Which MAY be the person Jenn is talking to when she says "why should you get the benefits when you haven't even done anything?"

Great recap!

I loooved the premiere. I am liking this challenge so much and it has to do with a the lack of Kina and her hag-friends.

Abram.. ahh I used to like him so much! Somewhere along the line he became a 100% nutcase.

As long as Jenn and Colie stay off camera (or get voted off soon) I will like this Inferno 3. I don't mind Davis and Tyrie at all, and I'm glad to see Johnny Bananas and Janelle. Usually the newbies get irritating, but given the "veterans" MTV has picked lately (seriously, what is with all the RR Xtreme people), I cannot complain!

L Con I must say that this was a phenominal recap. It has been hard for me to adjust to the loss of B-Side but you may have restored my faith in TVgasm.

And even though I know he is a complete ass, I was a little upset to see CT go-just because he is good eye candy. I live in Boston now and I kind of secretly hope that I will run into him one day. But what is the deal with guys wrestling the first night they get to these challenges? Every challenge they do this and I just don't get it.

Alton is unbelievable at these challenges but he looks like he is wasting away. Does anyone else think that he is becoming a lollipop head?

Hey, L Con. Great first recap. I was hoping we'd have someone good to make fun of this train wreck!

As for the lines you set for the season - I think you meant to say:

Number of times Colie will TRY to have sex, only to be rebuffed and treated with scorn: 6

Also, I thought one of the rules in the Inferno was that if you won the shield and had been chosen to go into the inferno, you had to sacrifice another member of the team. Am I wrong?

Loved the previews. Tonya is married but still a whore - who would have ever guessed?

Oh - and I hope CT never graces my TV screen again. He is the most vile creature I've ever seen. He's a liability (as is Abe) to MTV and I can't believe even they are stupid enough to keep bringing them back.

L Con, solid recap. A few points:

I'm totally in for the bets you placed. I'll probably take the under on most of them, but that's some solid bookie work.

Second, one of my friends is pretty good friends with Derek. She says he's a nice guy, and he seems like it (though I haven't met him) outside of these challenges. Didn't he say something about re-evaluating life decisions after getting booted from the last challenge.

Anyways, keep up the good work. It's WICKED AWESOME!

I LOVED this recap, L Con. I cannot believe you actually outdid yourself. I never thought you'd pull off a better recap than the Hills, but here it is!

I was not-so-patiently waiting for someone to recap the Inferno III. I can't believe CT was kicked off even before the first challenge. Too bad. I would have loved to see CT and Tyrie go at it when both of them lost their cool. You know, since the have the same level heads and all.

I really think that the way these teams were chosen, the poor Good Guys were set up to lose. C'mon, Derrick, Aneesa, Abe against Timmy, Cara, Ace? Puh-leez, MTV, at least make this show less predictable. The most exciting this thing can get is if I just tune in to see how, exactly, the Good Guys lose every single challenge. Maybe they can make losing an art. Like Timmy doing a triple back flip with a twist every time he falls off something and DQs. Then his other team mates come in like Cirque d Solie (sp?) and silently pick him up and take him away in some graceful dance sequence.

I hope the hook-ups start soon and that they are a plenty to compensate for these shitty one-sided challenges. Oh, I hope Tanya and Jen get real drunk real soon. Then let them loose in the house and watch the fireworks begin.

P.S. I used to miss Abe when Wes was on Freshmeat but now, after the last RW/RR challenge and Abe's behavior so far, I'm starting to miss Wes.

Ugh...I gotta go wash my hands now after typing that!

~UglyCutie

Hysterical recap - I literally laughed out loud no less than 5 times. The longest of said episodes occurred when I read - Tyrie jumped into the nearest phonebooth and emerged as Leroy Jenkins. That killed. Nicely done.

I dont even watch this show. Nver seen anything after the first couple of road rules. However, I laughed so hard reading your recap!!

The Davis/CT incident is the funniest thing I've ever heard.

love,

Mr. Sniffles

One thing, L Con. You should have had a "KISS MY A**. KISS MY G*****N A**" reference. If you could have done anything that wouldn't make us miss B-Side so much, you could have had that.

Thanks for all the nice compliments everyone. I’m glad the name change didn’t throw anyone off. I just figured if I’m going to be doing non Hills/Laguna recaps, then I should get a universal handle. You guys get the credit for the new name, since most of you donned me L-Con over on the Hills board some time ago.

Treading – While I’ve never met Derek in real life (Spencer Pratt’s friends say he’s a great guy too,) I can say that I’ve met CT and Danny in person several times, and TV does not do either of them justice. Danny’s worse in person, it’s pretty sad when even your hometown thinks you’re a jackass.

Pegster – Fantastic point about Colie being rebuffed and scorned. Although, I have a feeling she’s going to breakthrough on The Challenge. Half the guys on here would screw a hole in the wall. Combine that with copious amounts of booze, and an exotic setting, and all signs point to Colie busting out of her rut. Several times in fact. I envision Colie crying at a bar one night, and Alton swooping in, telling her what a great person she is, and then bedding her later that night. We’ll see.

Nerrawllehctim – I have to save some stuff for the rest of the season! If I put it all out on the table in the first recap, it would be like having a knife at a gunfight for me writing the next 12.

Also, you’re absolutely right about Panama being part of North America. When I Googled it to verify my facts, I kept getting responses talking about an area called “The Southern Most Point” in Key West. This was probably because Panama’s keyword in Google is “Central America,” which as we all know, is not a continent. My fault.

Funny recap! Now can you recap Shear Genius? The cast of that show is nutzo to.

Do they usually air the challenges while The Real World is still in its season? It is somewhat distracting to have the Denver cast on two shows simultaneously.
I might be the only one who likes Timmy. But he does add a voice of reason to the show. And I find him the most entertaining.

If I were Davis, I would have filed charges on CT, just to prove a point. CT needs to just go away and take Wes and Derrick with him to anger management classes.

I am confused as to why they chose Janelle to be on the BAD ASS team. She seemed to be one of the most rational, sweet cast members to grace The Real World. Am I missing something?
I liked the way the teams were divided in the fist 3 seasons. Was it Road Rules vs Real World? I can't remember.
And as for Aneesa. What is up with that rats nest on her head? Is she channeling Britney Spears and her cheap wig fixation? I started liking her last season, and felt she looked her best. Go back to the short hair Aneesa.

Nice job, L-Con! I was hoping you might be the recapper for this trainwreck of a show. The credits made me die a little inside, I think.

When CT was leaving and said, "Apparently I'm some sort of menace to society" I couldn't help but think that when you randomly injure someone, unprovoked, that you kind of ARE a menace...a menace that looks like Cro-Magnon man. "The Inferno is so easy, a caveman could do it! Unless he gets hammered and assaults someone on the first night!" Douche.

Also, who in the blue hell is "Ev"? She was on like a half an episode of Fresh Meat and now she's a "badass"?!

Great work ... LOVED the photo captions!

L-Con!!!!!!

Awesome recap! I didn't want it to end, then I realized you wrote SEVEN pages - so I took off my selfish enjoyment cap, and now I've got my THANKS FOR ANOTHER RECAP cap on! lol!

CT is a revolting animal, the bouncing around and grabbing his crotch maneuver was weird. I though for a minute that Diane Fossey had come back from the dead, and we were watching a bizarre reality show about apes run amok in the RW/RR house.

Kenny is still hot.

Danny Douche needs to go back to Dorchester, and commence beating Melinda into the submissive dishrag she has tried so hard to become.

Jenn + Tonya + Hot Tub + South Africa + HIV Infested bikini bottoms.

Personally, I'd like to see Johnny Bananas in a Johnny Banana-Hammock. Abe however, should have shaved some of CT's troll hair off, and pasted it on that bowling ball he's passing off as a head.

Cara and Susie have an alliance? An alliance of STUPIDITY! At least they ain't scurred!

Anyway - Go Team L-Con!

PS - If Ev doesn't make it to the end, then this show is rigged, because that girl is an animal!

I loved this part:
"What I want to know is why Johnny was so into helping Davis? He was like a soothing mother watching over her newborn.

After the break, Tyrie had penetrated Johnny Bananas' protective force field around Davis, and got the 411."
That was great. I too was wondering about Bananas' interactions with Davis; i think he is probably really a nice guy but it did make me laugh.

Also loved the part about Danny cooing over Wes. Despite his steroid-induced bulk, can Danny really be considered a badass? Perhaps they should have named one of the teams Dickbags and he would have been a better fit for that one.

Great job on the recap - I laughed a bunch of times.

What happened to B side???? I've been gone for a while. Is he o.k.?

Angela LaMont,
B-Side left. Its okay though L-Con and TreadingOnMe are great. :)

I agree w/everyone about CT.
What a moron! Why'd he have to bring "gay" into the conversation? Nobody accused him of a "hate crime", he voluntarily (though inadvertently) fessed up to it.

As far as Derrick goes. I think he's probably a nice person. Reality TV tends to magnify whatever your personality is by x1000 times, and Derrick has been nothing but nice to everyone. He might be a drunk, but at least he's a friendly drunk.

I'm depressed. I loved B side. I'm a writer and I really loved his style. I know that the other writers are great, but I just really loved him and he was the reason I read TV Gasm. Thanks for your response Shia

I think it was Rachel and not Colie that broke into a cheetah sprint.

I bet the sliding doors make it easier on the cameramen.

I actually like Timmy... but you're right, he IS kind of likable, which makes for terrible reality TV.

I agree, TVGasm has gone a bit downhill. But I still come here, so... c'est la vie. I wouldn't be so rude but this IS TVGasm, after all.

to Page (#16)

Janelle was a complete bitch, second only to Tyler (in my opinion) during her season. Although she is quite accomplished in the area of "Personal Relations"

I really disliked Janelle throughout the first half of Key West for bullying Svetlana. I don't think she's a bitch, so much as someone that is easily annoyed. Towards the end of Key West, though, Janelle developed some patience and was very nice to Svetlana (throwing her the bday part), and defended her against Tyler at the reunion show. I feel like Janelle's made up for her nastiness.

She still belongs on the Badass team though. While I think she's a nice person, she's definately fiesty.

#29

LCon did address his "southern-most point of the continent" mistake.

Even B-Side made mistakes. They were pointed out in the same way #13 did. In a nice way. And the life-shield rule was also pointed out in the same manner by #7 (really they were answering #6's question.)

I don't get why some people don't give LCon a chance. I thought this recap was funny. At first I must admit that most of the new recappers didn't make me laugh out loud like the old guys but I think they are all getting really good (LCon included).

Don't be so disresepectful to those who write these recaps...it kind of ruins it for those of us who log onto TVgasm to read the funny recaps and disrespect the participants on these shows.

It's a reall buzz-kill when everyone's talking about the show (love or hate it) and then posters start being really nasty to LCon or to each other. Go to chat rooms for that!!

As far as I'm concerned this site is a really fun escape from my reality. I don't wanna come on here wanting to forget the shitty day at work or the petty arguments with the spouse and then just get shit on by a total stranger.

Let's keep focused people! It's US against THEM. LOL!

Love and Peace,

~UglyCutie

For someone who doesn’t have TV, you seem to have a pretty solid grasp on the rules considering I paraphrased them...

Unfortunately, when you win the life-shield, it doesn’t mean that you automatically get expelled from the “Inferno,” it just means that you have a choice to save yourself. Obviously 99.9% of the time people will take that option, but I was just hoping Abram would man up after all the trash talking he had been doing. I’m pretty sure that is why Alton stepped up and took Davis’ place, he thought Abram would stick around to try and take him out.

Sorry for any confusion.

You don't have a T.V.? Well, in that case, I apologize. I thought most people who don't watch the shows and just read the recaps did it out of choice. I had no idea some people didn't have televisions.

Can I ask why? Did you just move or something?

My computer was out of comission for a few months but I still watched the shows and read the recaps on my phone, but for some reason, I couldn't post any comments. It was torture.

To be honest, I still don't understand all the rules of the show. I was just defending LCon. I don't want him scared away and leaving us...I guess after B-Side I have abandonment issues.

P.S. I missed the episode on TV but I watched the whole thing on MTV Overdirve. Can't you just watch the show there?

~UglyCutie

I'm 99.9% sure that TJ explicitly said that you HAVE to choose someone else when you have the life-shield. I recall the first time he talked about it that wasn't clear, but at one of the later times in the show he made it clear. I don't have the ep saved anymore, but maybe someone can double check one of the 1000000 times it's re-shown in the next few days.

Nyrlieht, I think you may be right. I just checked it out, and TJ does use the word "have," as does Abram before he competes in the challenge. In the past, there has been an option to use it or not, but they must have made a little change to the rules this year. Would have been nice if TJ explained that in the beggining. Thanks TJ, I blame this on you.

Team UglyCutie!

I agree, let's get back to the basics.

I'm here to make fun of the show, and all of the poor bastards who put themsleves on it! I would LOVE to get away from the civil-war of commenting!

I'm on L-Con's team too, but hell - I'll even extend a peace pipe to to NYWord... What do you say NY? Peace?

Can we all agree to hate the game, and not the people that love to hate it?

:-)

^^^^ Okay, okay...this reminds me of Jessica in LB saying "don't hate the game, hate the player"! LOL!

I miss Jessica's retarded ass.

Yay!! Let me begin by saying the Ev scurred me when she had this evil look on her face during an interview while doing that ladder challenge.

I really hoped more controversial players like Kina, Tina, or Beth had come back. But when you cut a villains head off, another one grows. So I wonder who the HBIC might turn out to be this season?? Maybe E.Colie will be the she-devil of the Inferno this season. She has potential. I agree with someone who earlier said that having Brooke on this show would have been GOLD!

Anyone have any thoughts as to which of the girls will turn into a lunatic by the fourth episode??

~UglyCutie

Florida is not at the southernmost tip of North America

oh yeah, I forgot to mention.....I love how MTV had to blur out CT's pubes above his low-rise jeans.
Classy!! (BARF)

and is it just me, or does it look like Ev has had lip reduction surgery?

L.CON SHOULD BE FIRED---RE: 10 D---BAGS +10 HOES--
NAW YOU AIN'T IMUS R U .

UglyCutie

Did you check out the sneak/preview for the next episode? I have the feeling Evelyn and Aneesa are going to be villains. Aneesa, now that she's not ganged up on, isn't quite as nice as she was on The Duel. And Evelyn... well, I don't know exactly why all the other girls are hating, but she's going to be cast as a villain.

...I thought Janelle had Coral potential, but then I read some comments up there and realized Coral would never make the stupid "personal relations" mistake. :D

IIRC, Ev was a FreshMeater from the first time they did a Fresh Meat challenge.

She was paired with Danny I think and he turned out to be a really sore loser when they got to the obstacle course / elimination station thing at the end of each episode.

According to Casey from the same Fresh Meat challenge (who used her third? place winnings to get a fine boob job), Ev (short for Evelyn?) was hitting on Casey.

In her post-race interview, Casey revealed her disgust for the situation. Not sure if that means she's homophobic or didn't find Ev attractive.

Did anyone catch Alton saying something about "getting to the mother-land" in the beginning montage? Yeah, like the home of apartheid is a great place for someone to note as the "motherland." Perhaps he was speaking in terms of the continent as a whole.

Don't know why I keep watching this... I can't tell who is from RR or RW or is Fresh Meat.

CT needs to have his likeness printed in the dictionaries next to the word, "meathead." This guy is the utter defintion of a meathead.

I guess not having Diem around actually killed him. He probably wouldn't have gotten so drunk and punched Davis if Diem was around.

It is too early to tell what possible hookups might occur but between Colie and Jenn anything is possible.

Too bad about Aneesa. I thought she had really seen the error of her ways, but you're right, she was being picked on last time so I guess that made me mellow for a bit. As for Ev, I don't really know that much about her. But bitch can be scary (see previous post).

I really got a kick outta the person who pointed out that CT's pubes were blurred. I noticed that too. Gross. Hasn't he heard of "landscaping".

During the previews before the show started I noticed Jen arguing with one of the other castmembers. Does anyone remember who it was?

I also thought Davis' comments about CT being on the plane longer than he was in Africa hilarious.

LCOn:

Any word if anyone is going to recap the Flavor of Love Charm School show? I thought the I Love New York show was funny as hell but no one recapped it. This will be the biggest circus on TV.

~UglyCutie

One more thing I forgot to add. The way they broke down the teams was retarded. Tyrie on the Bad Asses?! Come on! Since when does getting arrested for peeing in front of your house warrant being called a bad ass? Danny on the bad asses was a bit of a stretch as well. Davis on the good guys?!

I hate to keep posting, I should have just made one big post, but is it safe to say Johnny and Janelle hooked up during this show or had already been messing around prior.

I remember they came close to messing around during the key west season. Does anyone know about this. I am asking because, why would Janelle joke with the whole being pregnant with John's kid if they hadn't been messing around. Anyone know about this?

Maybe they're strategizing for sympathy passes like CANCER did.

I think Tyrie's on the BA Team because of Leroy Jenkins. LOL!

One thing, L Con. You should have had a "KISS MY A**. KISS MY G*****N A**" reference. If you could have done anything that wouldn't make us miss B-Side so much, you could have had that.

Posted by: nerrawllehctim | April 14, 2007 8:29 AM(#12 of 52)

Is it supposed to be Warren Mitchell, or Mitchell Warren? Anyway, you wanted to do the recap and didn't get selected. Try to show some grace, and stop insulting L-Con - you are acting without courtesy or respect. The best man won, it's time to move on.

i dont know why there's been a change in heart about how to treat one's fellow posters, but all i'm gonna say regarding that that while reading thru the comments for this recap, i actually agreed with 2 of my biggest non-fans. (although i think they missed me, i havent had time to check out tvgasm or even tv all last week.)

luckily i did get to watch the inferno yesterday and i really thought this recap corroborated the craziness i saw on tv. l-con, i still think you're too wordy and you shouldnt make lists of any kind. i couldnt read the last few pages because it was too much information.

the pics were good though and there was one point i laughed out loud. i really have to put this out there guys: CT is totally gay. that "wrestling" shit was totally whack and i think the reason he punched davis was cause he wants to do him. it's totally obvious he used diem as a beard, and he was way to into "wrestling" kenny (who is a very sexy stud in his own right.)

CT is a maniac. He has to come out of the closet. his use of the word gay when describing his attack on davis is indicative of his M.O. It's only a matter of time before he's forced out though. No one there seems to like him, and once he fucks diem over, the guys who defend her will really give it to CT.

I agree with shia completely about jazelle. thought she was a huge bitch to svettie, couldnt understand why she joined forces with tyler. but it seems like love may be bringing the best out of her finally. she didnt have the courage to get with JB during their season, and it seems like that pairing off is inevitable.

go team real world love...

I don't think it's picking on any one particular person, it just that people have been saying the same things for WEEKS since B-Side left. It's one thing to say that a recap wasn't that great and to offer some creative criticism. It's another to literally go line-by-line and comment on each and every thing that wasn't liked. It's gotten to the point where it's just rude, disrespectful and intentionally hurtful. Most people here have pretty thick skin but it's hard not to get fed up when people are obviously trying to start something.

Moving on...everything's pretty much been said so just a few quick points. CT's an idiot, thank god he's gone. I laughed at Davis' plane comment too, but then got annoyed because he's so one of those people who doesn't talk shit about somebody until they're out of earshot. Tyrie being a badass? Some dramatic arguments and public peeing does not a bad ass make. Did anybody else want to punch Danny in the face for being all douchey during the toast? Yeah, we all know that CT will turn into a violent asshole about five seconds after his first drink, but what's the point in being all negative about it right now? I guess he's just angry that he doesn't have Melinda around to tell him how wicked awesome he is.

Damn, this season is going to be so awesome. What a great first episode. 1 neanderthal down, 1 to go.

Also, i'm so happy Johnny Bananas is on this one, he seems like such a nice guy. Not to mention smokin' hot..

Was CT seriously trying to deny punching Davis when he was confronted in the middle of the night? He said something like "some gay kid got punched in the face, what's that got to do with me?" Uh...maybe the fact that you're the one that did it?

I don't understand the opening credits. Why do they have the good guys running away from the bad asses? Is MTV trying to say they set up this challenge specifically so the bad asses would win and the good guys would lose?

Also to the poster who said that Colie might emerge as a villain, I don't think that'll happen because she'll be too busy crying and falling in love with all the (white) guys in the house.

whoever wrote #59 is not the original NYWord. this site is really going to the dogs if people are making copycat profiles now...

NYW

It wasn't me. As you know, I sign my stuff. We've had our issues, but that's not my style.

I agree, posing as another poster is wrong.

Cheez,

I never thought it was you. I know if you wanna talk smack, you want the credit for it!

My guess is that it's most definitely CT. I'm the only one who's said he's a fudgepacker...I guess this is his retaliation. As quiet as it's kept, the tvgasm staff has been alerted.

So let it be known to everyone reading the recaps and comments, any comment purported to be by NYWord, if it's insulting to NYWord, it's not NYWord.

It's CT, the fudgepacker. Stay away from Kenny bitch! That ass belongs to Tina!

LOVE,
NYWord, of the Cleopatra-Hapsburg House

Actually I wouldnt be surprised if it was Diem, "defending her man."

Hello sweetie, let me be the first to tell you, like only NYWord can, you're a beard. That means a "straight" guy is using you to make it look like he doesn't like the cock. Unfortunately for you, CT is way too over the top, and punching Davis crossed the line of giving him (and your "relationship") the benefit of the doubt.

Sorry you have cancer and all, it definitely sucks to face that at such a young age. But you really shouldve listened to Wes and Evan's advice on the last challenge, cause they were speaking for the generally sane population that watches this show.

When you were making such a big deal about your first kiss with the douchebag, all of us were shaking our heads, wondering how you could not see how obvious it is that that Boston-accent spouting mouth you desired has indeed been the receptacle of someone's penis...

But you know, he did say something to you in what was it...paraguayan or something...so maybe that was like the magic code that gives you the right to pose as the one and only inimitable NYWord on tvgasm....

Nah...dont think so...even Cheez is on my side, Bearded Lady...

NYW, OTC-HH

Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict, I didn't send in a recap. I just wished I was a recapper. I don't even know how that works. Besides, I have my own website. It's http://realitytvguide.blogspot.com and I just want some readers. I'm just helping him, because B-Side would do that on every episode.

looks like they took care of the copycat mutant NYWord...way to go be MYL! that's what I call truth, justice, and the American way!

Good recap L-Con. It was in the spirit of B-Side, while keeping your own flavah (my Bahston accent comes right out heah).
I am sad that there is no Kina this season. It was fun seeing what eye shadow she would apply with a butter knife. At least we will get some Aneesa hair surprises. Where is Wes?

Great recap, LCon! Worlds better than the other ones, in my opinion. :)

I don't get what's going on with the poseur NYWord being CT? What happened?

Does anyone know if Janelle and Johnny are really a couple or not?

NYW--

Why are you writing fake posts to Diem? Do you honestly think she or CT posted on here?

You need to focus on your job and not take crappy reality tv summaries so seriously, perhaps.

I like the theory on CT being gay, NYWord.

That might explain the super-low rise jeans that caused MTV to break out the pixellation. Although, if he was gay, don't you think he might do some "man-scaping" and manicure those hedges?

LCon,
Great recap. And do not be ashamed of your crush on Alton. I don't know a single person- male, female, gay or straight- who doesnt look at him and say "wow".

Did Danny mention Mel at all? Are they still together?

And I am sure they put Ev with Danny so that they can try and rev up some drama. Do ya'll remember her myspace rant about what a lying douche Danny was during Fresh meat?

" Number of times CT and Danny will make me extremely embarrassed to be from Boston - Over/Under 17,289 "

Ummm.... kindof like how Kina and Colie have made me weep inside for all of us normal girls from NJ.... I think they shouldnt be allowed back in the state & should be forced to live out their days on a garbage barge out in the ocean.