September 13, 2009

Real World Cancun Finale: Some Things Don't Heal

Hola! Bienvenido! Eh, that's all I got. Here's the Real World, last day in Cancun!

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Could you be more specific?

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September 8, 2009

Real World: The Zombie Hitler Tap Dance Episode

Welcome back to The Real World Cancun! May-juh (I know, that wasn't Mexican, but I have to practice my Victoria Beckham too, you know) props to MIchy PR for translating Rihanna's email to Scrawny Pat from last week! The best part was when she bragged about Scrawny being in it for the cameras with Jassy, but definitely not with her. Hearts, Michy PR! Thanks for ruining your eyesight for the....um, cause? And now, for the latest...

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It's cuz Rihanna's in heat.

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August 29, 2009

Real World: Scrawny Pat Counts to Three

This week, on the Real World, the first half of the show is the threesome and the second half is everyone talking about it. Probably the best episode of the Real World in a while! Well, it had the inter-roomie threesome, so it kind of wins by default, but - and I can't believe I'm saying this - I was actually wondering what was going to happen next!

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Fingers crossed that it's not this.

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August 26, 2009

Real World Cancun: Romantic Square

Welcome back to the Real World Cancun! Tonight, it's all about class.

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August 18, 2009

Real World: The Ballad of the Only Person to Not Get F ed in Cancun

Welcome back to the Real World Cancun! Ding, dong the herpes is dead! Tonight, the star of the show is Jasmine!, her four feet of drama,

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...and a bottle of Two Buck Chuck.

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August 11, 2009

Real World Cancun: Scab Be Gone!

Welcome back to the Real World Cancun! I am delighted to report that the public herpes outbreak in Cancun is no longer a threat! Read on for details...

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Bad hair, however, is still a menace.

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August 4, 2009

Real World Cancun: You're So Almost Maybe Kinda Fired Not

Welcome back to the Real World Cancun! I don't mind telling you, I've spent the week hating Mexico. I've had a horrible sore throat / achy / coughing / fever / vomiting thing that a quick check on the internet had me convinced was Swine Flu. I'm all about the self diagnosis, by the way. In my time, I have misdiagnosed myself with everything from a brain anneurism to pregnancy. Luckily, Xanax has cured them all.

So, while I spent the week hating Mexico and everything related for giving me the Swine...turns out I just have a wretched case of tonsillitis. Did you know that your tonsils disappear as you get older? Crazy, huh? Where do they go? And what was my point here? I don't think I had one. I think I just wanted to tell my Swine Flu story. So anyways, now that I don't have the Swine and don't hate Mexico, let's get on with the show.

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How many times in one episode can Rhianna showcase her baby maker? The answer will astound you.

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July 24, 2009

Real World: We Would Like To Thank the Internet Voters

Welcome back to another installment of the Real World Cancun! And it's time for this season's relevant social issue affecting young people today. So now, without further adieu, I give you Cutting! The Musical, starring Ayiiia and a pair of cuticle scissors.

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Mary had a little ... cat.
Little cat.
Little cat.
NO NO NO THIS IS ALL WRONG
Lisa had a little...goat.
Dammit! Once I get this figured out I'm gonna be a STAR!

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July 21, 2009

Real World: Don't Call Me Fat

Welcome back to another tequila dipped episode of the Real World Cancun! When we last saw the roomies, we had gone from zero to lesbian lovers to mortal enemies in two short episodes. Someone's evil twin will show up any minute now.

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You hang tight, John. I'm gonna go bang a hostess and dump a gay hooker. BRB.

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July 9, 2009

Real World: Vowel Love

Welcome back to what I'm calling the Perfect Real World Storm in Cancun! We've had fighting, flirting, sex, drinking, herpes, destruction of property, tears...the list goes on, and that's even before tonight's lesbian roommate lovers who become arch enemies before episode's end. And we're only in the third week! We still have swine flu to look forward to! Ready for mas?

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Either close the gap or shut your mouth at least part of the time. You're making us uncomfortable.

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September 13, 2009:Real World Cancun Finale: Some Things Don't Heal
September 8, 2009:Real World: The Zombie Hitler Tap Dance Episode
August 29, 2009:Real World: Scrawny Pat Counts to Three
August 26, 2009:Real World Cancun: Romantic Square
August 18, 2009:Real World: The Ballad of the Only Person to Not Get F ed in Cancun
August 11, 2009:Real World Cancun: Scab Be Gone!
August 4, 2009:Real World Cancun: You're So Almost Maybe Kinda Fired Not
July 24, 2009:Real World: We Would Like To Thank the Internet Voters
July 21, 2009:Real World: Don't Call Me Fat
July 9, 2009:Real World: Vowel Love
July 2, 2009:Real World Cancun: I Have a Boyfriend. Let's Dry Hump.
June 25, 2009:Real World Cancun: Love is a Stab in the Finger
April 13, 2009:Real World Brooklyn Reunion
April 11, 2009:Real World Brooklyn: It's All Fun And Games Until Someone Gets Murdered In Their Sleep
March 30, 2009:Real World Brooklyn: Losing
March 23, 2009:Real World: What is it Good For?
March 17, 2009:Real World Brooklyn: Cage Dances and Furniture Flipping
March 10, 2009:Real World Brooklyn: Ask The Tranny
March 2, 2009:Real World Brooklyn: Phones Don't Grow on Trees
February 21, 2009:Real World: Rats
February 16, 2009:Real World Brooklyn: "I Haven't Had My Coffee Yet. I Haven't Had My Estrogen Yet. I'm A Bitch At This Point."
February 7, 2009:Real World Brooklyn: Orville Gets an Interview
February 3, 2009:Real World Brooklyn: Feeling Things
January 26, 2009:Real World Brooklyn: I Like You But Kinda Not Really
January 16, 2009:Real World Brooklyn: The Plight of the Tuna
January 13, 2009:Real World Brooklyn: Get to Know Me!
December 15, 2008:Real World Brooklyn Preview
July 16, 2008:Real World Hollywood: Say Goodbye To Hollywood
July 6, 2008:Real World Hollywood: On a Break
June 30, 2008:Real World Hollywood: Goody Two Booze
June 19, 2008:Real World Hollywood: You Like Me! You Really Like Me!
June 14, 2008:Real World Hollywood: The Blame Game
June 9, 2008:Real World Hollywood: Invoke the Doughnut
June 6, 2008:Clipgasm: Real Worlders Improvise
June 3, 2008:Real World Hollywood: Dawg Pile
May 23, 2008:Real World Hollywood: Delilah and Rick James Associate
May 16, 2008:Real World Hollywood: Kiss My Grits!
May 8, 2008:Real World Hollywood: Meathead Soliloquy
May 1, 2008:Real World Hollywood: Making It Up As You Go Along
April 27, 2008:Real World Hollywood: Got Ghet-to?
April 19, 2008:Real World: Hollywood
April 6, 2008:Real World Awards: Best Waste of Time Ever
January 24, 2008:Real World Sydney: Reunion
January 13, 2008:Real World Sydney: Finale
January 4, 2008:Real World: The Eradication of Marge
January 1, 2008:Real World Sydney: Two Drink Minimum
December 24, 2007:Real World Sydney: All I Want For Christmas Is That Half Hour of My Life Back
December 14, 2007:Real World Sydney: Mother's Day
December 8, 2007:Real World Sydney: I Love Julie!
December 1, 2007:Real World: Class Act
November 21, 2007:Real World Sydney: Pushy Bitches
November 16, 2007:Real World: Tell Your Vajayjay I Said Not To Wait Up
November 9, 2007:Real World: There's a New Girl In Town
November 5, 2007:Real World: What I Did For Love
October 29, 2007:Real World: The Other Woman
October 19, 2007:Real World Sydney: Second Hand Alex
October 15, 2007:Real World: The Casserole Hits the Fan
October 8, 2007:Real World: Girl Fight
September 30, 2007:Real World: Work is Hard
September 22, 2007:Real World: Mardi Gras, Glitter Bras, and...Jesus?
September 17, 2007:Recap: Hot Cows and the Virgins Who Love 'Em
September 7, 2007:Recap: Real World: I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!
August 31, 2007:Recap: Real World: Dumby Takes a Spill
August 24, 2007:Recap: Real World: Irish Sluts are Different
August 20, 2007:Recap: Real World: Cheap Date
August 14, 2007:Recap: Real World: Imaginary Boyfriends and Really Bad Teeth
August 7, 2007:Preview: Real World Sydney
July 14, 2007:Recap: Real World Reunited: You Can Go Back To Not Caring Now
July 5, 2007:Recap: The Real World: Craps! A mom's Best Friend
June 26, 2007:Substitute Recap: Real World: The Plight of the Kinda-Star
June 14, 2007:Overreacting for Dummies
June 6, 2007:Recap: Real World: Swimming is LIFE
May 31, 2007:Expecting Change? I Wouldn't
May 25, 2007:Hey, Remember Us?
May 24, 2007:Remembering the Time in the 5000-some-Feet High City
May 17, 2007:We're Proud You Were On TV. Love, Brooke's Parents
May 10, 2007:You Better Piss On It
May 8, 2007:Talk to Real World Creator Jon Murray Live
May 2, 2007:Colie Needs To Get New Sexual Advice
April 27, 2007:YAAAAAAWWWWWNNNN
April 19, 2007:The Real World Guide To Dating
April 13, 2007:Chin(s) Up Brooke-aroo
April 4, 2007:A (Boring) Job Well Done
March 28, 2007:The Real World: I've Made a Huge Mistake
March 22, 2007:The Real World: You Can't Do THAT in Denver??
March 15, 2007:The Real World: The Powers of Rationalization
March 7, 2007:Recap: Whorefest 2007 Continues!
February 28, 2007:Recap: HAHA, YOU IDIOT!
February 21, 2007:Recap: The Real World: SHE'S IN HELL!!!!
February 14, 2007:Recap: The Real World: Love, Love Will Keep Us Together
February 7, 2007:Recap: The Real World: Feeling A Bit Melan-Colie
January 31, 2007:Recap: The Real World: Climb Every Mountain!
January 24, 2007:Recap: The Real World: Who Else Is Sick of Camping?
January 17, 2007:Recap: The Real World: Hit Me With Your Best Shot!
January 10, 2007:Recap: Real World: Brooke Continues To Be IN HELL
January 4, 2007:Recap: The Real World: Ghetto Superstar
January 3, 2007:Recap: The Real World: Camping Is Fun!
:Recap: The Real World: Take A Hike!
December 21, 2006:Recap: The Real World: The Party Bus Is Coming, And Everybody's Jumping!
December 13, 2006:Recap: The Real World: She Blinded Tyrie With Science!
December 7, 2006:Recap: Real World: This One's For You, Michael Richards!
November 29, 2006:Recap: Real World: Did IIIII Do That??
November 22, 2006:Recap: Real World: Welcome to the Mile High Club
November 21, 2006:Recap: Real World: Meet The Denver Drunk-O's!
October 18, 2006:Johnny Bananas Survives Real Life Duel!
October 6, 2006:So This Is Why Jake Plummer's Been So Distracted...
September 13, 2006:Three Burning Questions For The Real World
August 31, 2006:Who's Partying Hard at the VMAs?
August 25, 2006:Fun, Sun, and Totally Done (Until Next Week)
August 18, 2006:Clipgasm: Chippendales Bound Edition
August 16, 2006:So It's Time To Say Goodbye For The Summer
August 10, 2006:From Russia With Love
August 7, 2006:Tyler Does The Running Man
July 31, 2006:Kasib-ling Rivalry
July 20, 2006:Driving Us Car-azy!
July 17, 2006:Spain in the Ass
July 11, 2006:Paula To Police: KISS MY ASS!
June 28, 2006:Love Letters from Key West
June 27, 2006:Wicked Splitsville?
June 26, 2006:Gone With The Wind: Hurricane Paula Strikes Ft. Lauderdale!
June 19, 2006:TVgasm Encounters Danny and Melinda on Airplane!
June 14, 2006:Don't Rain On The Parade!
June 12, 2006:Girls and Cancer: More Fun on The Real World
June 1, 2006:Burned!
May 30, 2006:Battle of the Wallflowers!
May 20, 2006:Think You've Seen Crazy? Well, KISS MY ASS!
May 11, 2006:What Else Should She Say? Everyone Is Gay!
May 3, 2006:Don't Worry. Be Happy!
May 1, 2006:Mystic Standoff
:Pose for FHM? No Svet.
April 27, 2006:Drinks On Me!
April 19, 2006:Rush, Rush Paula To Therapy
April 16, 2006:One Step Forward and Two Steps Back for Paula
April 10, 2006:The Denver Drunk-o's?
:Trading Spaces: Meet Your New Manager
April 2, 2006:Under New Management
March 24, 2006:Svetlana's Hypothetical Situation
March 17, 2006:It's Not That We Hate You. It's Just That We Hate You.
March 13, 2006:When The Shirt Hits The Fan
:Food For Thought
March 4, 2006:The Key To A Good Season?
December 5, 2005:A Little Monday Afternoon Gossip
December 3, 2005:Saving The Best For Last
November 30, 2005:America's Next Top Real World Model!
November 25, 2005:Austin Powers Down, But It's A Fight To The Finish
November 19, 2005:Prison Break
November 14, 2005:I Want Your Sex
November 3, 2005:The Little Prince
November 1, 2005:It Was All In The Editing
October 31, 2005:Don't Worry, Karamo. We'll Keep This On The DL.
October 25, 2005:Dog the Booty Hunter
October 18, 2005:You Better Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself
October 10, 2005:Hey Jealousy
September 29, 2005:Quit Playing Games With My Heart
September 27, 2005:Every Rose Has Its Thorn
September 17, 2005:I've Got Poop That Jingle-Jangle-Jingles
September 7, 2005:Battle of the Bands
September 1, 2005:You Know You Make Me Want To Shout
August 30, 2005:Melinda Does The Dance Of Joy
August 26, 2005:TVgasm Enters The Real World
August 20, 2005:Almost Taradise
August 16, 2005:That Didn't Take Long
August 12, 2005:The Feel-Good Episode of the Year!
August 2, 2005:So... About Those Dinner Reservations...
July 30, 2005:Most Fascinating Real World Episode EVER
July 20, 2005:Dis-Missed
July 14, 2005:Melinda Feels Whorrible
July 6, 2005:Saving Face
June 29, 2005:The Skull and Boners Society
June 22, 2005:Bone, Thugs, and Harmony
March 15, 2005:Ho-Town Philly's Back Again
March 10, 2005:The Philadelphia So Long
March 8, 2005:Don't Let The Door Hit You On The Ass, Real World Philly...
March 3, 2005:This Used To Be My Playground
February 23, 2005:Willie To Landon: You Make Me Feel Really, Really Straight
February 21, 2005:Love The One You're With
February 18, 2005:Free Willie
February 14, 2005:Most Dramatic Bachelorette Party EVER
February 10, 2005:Experiencing Mel-aise
February 3, 2005:Lovers and Friends
January 27, 2005:Attack of the Drama Queens
January 20, 2005:Three Up, Three Down
January 13, 2005:Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Scabies But Were Too Afraid To Ask
January 6, 2005:Landon Reaches The Cutting Edge
December 9, 2004:Karamo Thinks 80s Music Is Gay
December 2, 2004:A Very Special Real World
November 23, 2004:Push A Cop's Pet And Landon Jail
November 17, 2004:Landon Tackles Responsibility, Hot Soup
November 16, 2004:Pimping Ain't Ebay
November 10, 2004:If Coral and Tina Had A Lovechild...
November 3, 2004:Landon Needs a Cuddle Card
October 27, 2004:Real World Flirtations: Still Not Interesting
October 20, 2004:Karamo Finds Love, Doesn't Get Angry.
October 13, 2004:Fahrenheit Bunim/Murray
:If You Can't Be With The One You Love, Have Sex With The One You're With
October 7, 2004:Real Worlder Discusses Life, Love, Gratuitous Waxing Information
October 5, 2004:Can I Just Get A Dap?
:"I'm Officially An Idiot"
September 29, 2004:Buckle Up - It's the Race Episode!
September 23, 2004:Willie's Super, Thanks For Asking
September 15, 2004:Sarah Needs A Cold Shower, Self-Esteem
September 8, 2004:Philadelphia Freedom is Fabulous!
September 2, 2004:A Night Out With The Miz
August 24, 2004:Philadelphia Prepares for Seven Months of Embarrassment
July 16, 2004:What We Learned From What We Didn't See
July 6, 2004:Reunited And It Feels So Good
June 29, 2004:So It's Time To Say Goodbye...
June 22, 2004:Sailing Takes Me Away... But I Want SERENITY NOW!
June 19, 2004:Poor Form
June 16, 2004:Ja Rules
June 8, 2004:America's Top Model Roommate
June 1, 2004:Mama Mia! Bowser's Gone Home!
May 25, 2004:I'm a Drama Queen... Now Get Me Out of Here!
May 19, 2004:Errbody In The Clubb Get Tipsy (and Belligerent)
May 16, 2004:My Big Fat Greek Bitchfest