B-Side you friggin rock. That paragraph had me rolling for like 10 minutes. Well worth the wait!

"VENUS FLYTRAP ALERT! That night, a confused and horny Erik meandered upstairs to the computer room where he found Lacey supremely holding court. "I need an outside opinion," he said regarding the Rachel situation. You could almost hear Lacey licking her chops. I'm surprised she didn't curve her face into a grinning rictus, tent her fingers, and say, "Why yes, my pretty!" I mean, this was the most ill-advised meeting since Ariel asked Ursula for legs."--sorry i meant this paragraph

I really like Lacey, but I have stopped watching this show and just read your recaps. I loved the little mermaid reference, but my Tuesday nights are now devoted to nip/tuck.

"Since Ariel asked Ursula for legs," was hilariously dead-on.

I can't wait for the reunion episode. Bets should be made on how much of the episode is dedicated to Lacey's gossiping.

I'm sorry you have to watch this dung heap of a show to give us these great re-caps. I stopped watching the show a while ago, but your write-ups are pretty damn funny, B-Side. I miss Sorority Life too....

I, too, have stopped watching the show but more because of the fact that they make me want to rip the skin off my body to distract me from their collective stupidity.

Case in point..."We have a plan for tonight. At R-Bar, there's a VIP section in the basement... And then we're gonna call every girl in our groupie drawer, any girl that's ever jocked our nuts, we're just going to call them all. All of them up, all the same time, and bring them to the VIP section of this bar tonight... And it'll just be a vagina-fest. Just don't tell Rachel about it," - Did Wes really say this? I had to reread it as I was sure that I missed the "not really" that usually accompanies these things? How can Wes be this dumb?

Thank you B-Side for these excellent recaps so that I can still enjoy the Real World without most of the pain.

i am seriously sick of this cast. these people are LAME. lacey aggrivates me sooo bad!!! shes so FUGLY

i will still watch, but i hate all these people, they totally suck.

You is toooo funny yo. Love me some B-side recaps. When are you getting to last nights Guna episode? Your caps are so money it keeps me rolling sevens all day!!

B-side I seriously wish i was your best friend...

These recaps are uproariously funny. I must say, I was not actually watching this season until recently, but your recaps were better than watching the show itself. Your commentary is on point at all times. I weep for the future when I see this bunch of logic-starved wonders taking up valuable breathing space in a city I liked a great deal. I've actually been to R-Bar, and now it has been tainted with the stench that is RW: Austin.

why the hell am i laughing so hard about the ratty dog?
b-side, if given the option to eat some of the nasty,crusty, envelope glue-tasting (seinfeld, anyone?), melted cotton candy ice cream or listen to/look at rachel for 1 more minute, which would you pick? the ice cream that slowly eats away at your gumline as you drink it? yeah, me too.

im so glad you watch this so i dont have to. you can tell rachel was the girl in high school who followed popular girls around and then thought she was popular by default.

"Rachel announced, "I don't want to have sex." Insert Debbie Downer "Wah wah wah" here."

^ shit, i didn't even see the debbie downer part--brilliant!

did you know that having sex while in the presence of a ratty dog can cause uncomfortable chafing in your "danger zone"?
Wah Wah Wah

good ish...RACHEL SUCKS AT LIFE....BIG TIME!!!

Wow, Rachel's boyfriends was one big time wiener. That being said, I'd love to see the D-bag dating Mel that thought he could treat her like shit, reality check buddy. Is Danny the most annoying tosser ever?

Bside,
I can't believe you didn't jump all over Wes' "I've never met one man in the military that I haven't liked" comment--yeah, I'm so shocked Wes loves a man in uniform!! Great recap-

Best recap yet, even if it had only been as long as this section: "It was like saying, "Would you like mashed potatoes or mashed potahtoes?" In the end, one thing was glaringly obvious: "Reese has got divorced parents," bemoaned Erik. Yeah, and in other news, Reese probably just spent the past two hours licking his balls. I don't think he'll care that much."

Um, shouldn't Reese be more concerned that his "parents" are as dumb as a box of cotton candy ice cream?

The Svan says nice work B-Side.

If I ever get turned down for sex by a nasty, fugly, skank like Rachel, it would mean that I've truly hit rock-bottom and would have to shot-gun blast myself in the face Kurt Cobain style.

too bad i thought the dog was the best part of this episode. i hate the entire cast, especially nehemiah who claims to be all about the ladies....yet he hasn't gotten one yet.

B-Side You are HILARIOUS!

"It was like saying, "Would you like mashed potatoes or mashed potahtoes?" .... in other news, Reese probably just spent the past two hours licking his balls. I don't think he'll care that much."

And pouring a can of cherry coke in and envelope!! You are so funnie. You had me in tears.

Terrible season this year but you make it bearable. Cannot stand Pasty Lacey.

BTW If your dog needs a "Dogsitter" just for you have sex, time for a new dog! Can they not separate for 4 minutes?

B-Side, you are the Claude Monet of recapping. You are ABSOLUTELY the funnest read ever.

With that said...

This cast is BY FAR

theeeeeeeeeeeeeeee mooooooooooooooooost booooooooooooriiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaast eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeveeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.....

Please make it stop!

Yay... I loved the Minnesota Vikings reference. Good work. This show is not even worth watching anymore... I have never cared less about a RW season before. I am hoping next season, (I heard its in FL somewhere) is better or I am officially done with the RW franchise

this recap was great B-side, but can you please get your Laguna Beach one up... Cedric???

I miss Sorority Life...remember when that girl slapped the other one across the face....ah the good old days.

All in all a great recap, but I don't know if I can support your intense love for Lacey. I do share her hatred for most of the cast, but I distinctly remember thinking how illogical it was that she couldn't think of one reason a break makes sense.

Wes is maybe the most annoying person ever, but at least he's not an insecure, out of place, shrew. I think we could all do well fitting a little Wes into our lexicon. Like:

Boss: "Hey, westla, I'd like you to fly up to Stanford this weekend for recruiting."

westla: "Nehemia, we haaave to get Danny to go with us, we'll get soooo much pussy. I'll call up all the Tri Delts, it will be a vagina fest."

Boss: "Who's Nehemia?"

westla: "Lets go to the Dizzy Rooster!"

Boss: "You're fired"

On second thought, that's not a good idea. Wess is retarded.

loved the vikings reference, too bad they suck this year.... :(

This recap was well worth the wait. I was not only laughing out loud, but positively GUFFAWING (phonograph scratch, Mo'nique, Debbie Downer wah wah wah, Venus flytrap, Ariel and Ursula, Cherry Coke in an envelope...). Too, too funny...Thank you B-Side, you are a comedic genius! I wouldn't even bother with the show any more except for how hilarious these re-caps are (which brings me to the only downside: will I get sucked into the next season, just to keep reading them?)

b-side you are hilarious and i hope you read peoples comments because it would definately boost my self esteem to have a bunch of people tell me im funny. i appreciate your recaps of real world and laguna beach--thanks.

Vagina-Fest 2005....ahhh I love it!!!!

This Recap was right on point.. First of all this season freakin sucks.. Is there any point to the show... Lacey is ugly as hell..danny is slow..mel looks like the chick from the cartoon chip and dale.. niamaiah however u spell his name is just annoying.. and wes ugh do we really have to look at him.. and rachel should be glad she has any man wanting her.. johanna is about the only decent one despite getting played and arrested for stealing a raggady rose from a bum.. It sucks!! I hope next season's cast are atleast people you can stand to look at..

"too bad i thought the dog was the best part of this episode. i hate the entire cast, especially nehemiah who claims to be all about the ladies....yet he hasn't gotten one yet."

Diane...im so gonna have to co-sign on ur comments....he is the pimp w/ no bitches....LOL...how does that make sense?!?!?!

HAHAH Rachel's Amazing Technicolor Cocktease! HAHA I love it! B-side you are amazing!

Even though I saw it a million times in the previews, I still loved the part when rachel was like "Im standing right behind you". I dont know why, maybe its just because I hate Wes...and Rachel. But Wes more.

and pouring coke into an envelope! HAHA..hysterical.

RIP Sorority Life..miss it!

This cast really does suck. They are all a bunch of bums going no where in life. I can't stand melinda. She claims to be a wild child and loves SEX. Uh, she's only had sex with Danny and I bet that wasn't even that great.
Rachel is an idiot, she says her and erik are on a break and then when they come back from Vagina fest and tells erik how it was hard to see him with other girls and he said that now she should know how he feels because they were broken up and then she says " we aren't broken up" if i was erik i'd throw the cotton candy ice cream in her face and tell her to shut the F*** up! These people are so stupid, I don't know why I watch them, I guess so that I could hate them all even more. I only like lacey and she gets to me sometimes. johanna has buck teeth and should never smile.

Lacey’s like quotient was off the charts. I like, loved it and stuff.

It's amazing how Wes is still playing the whole stud angle when everyone knows he only got laid once. But god I love it when we get introspective Wes. That man OWNS the confessional.

Melinda has a good body .. but that is where it all ends with that girl. And I'm sure some of this is MTV editing .. but it seems as tho she has totaly let herself go since becoming Danny's "offical girlfriend". Always in jeans and a big shirt .. hair never looks brushed ... ugh.

And I seriously hope someone kicks Lacy's ass. She is hid-E-ous and her holier-then-thou attitude kills me.

NOt only that..yea melinda had a good body..well most of it...shes also sporting a spare tire which is accentuated by her too-tight at the waist jeans thus, causing hideous muffin top!

Not to get all serious here, but Rachel is just 21, which is pretty young to be thinking about a lifelong commitment, IMO. Yeah, it sucks to fly hundreds of miles (with a dog, no less) to see your GF and not get any, but I think Rachel actually showed some maturity and did them both a favor by withholding. Not to mention the fact that her and Erik's relationship began in very extreme circumstances and there's no telling whether it'll survive outside the military.

Long story short, I think she'd be able to be a lot more decisive if she were a few years older and had more living under her belt.

Whatev, Wes sucks.

Brigita: I agree with you on the "too-young-at-21" thing. I married my wife at 21 and we were divorced five years later. Contrary to anything we may have heard, absolutely no one knows what they want at 21.

B-side: The Ariel / Ursula line was snarkiness at it's best - mind if I use it? The problem will be finding an appropriate situation to use it in. But I'm sure as heck gonna TRY!!

I loved the part where you said Lacey practically licked her chops when Erik asked her for advice. If Rachel and Erik are Reese's "parents", then someone needs to call animal services. Anyone who sends ice cream in the mail shouldn't be responsible for anything that can breathe. God forbid if Rachel wanted to see Reese. "I sent him in the mail for you!"

"sort of like how wes sucks at brains" had to be the funniest things i have ever read in one of your recaps!!! i love you

brigita, Rachel has too much shit under her belt as it is. She's a fatty, man.

bside,

i believe you were talking about the hat in every pic and how stupid danny is...more proof!

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewPicture&friendID=8120229&friendName=danny&Mytoken=6B2821D0-E99C-B38B-3DD1EDBCB61EC8D7654938

search yourself for mel's, you can't miss it....

I seriously don't believe any of the myspace bulls$it anymore...you don't know if ppl are really who they say they are. It's probably just a bunch of losers wishing they were reality stars. How sad.

DID ANYONE ELSE DIE LAUGHING AT FREAKIN REESE WHEN RACHEL AND ERIK WERE IN BED OMG. poor thing was going up and down like it was on the canyon river rapids.

I know..i think its hysterical that he has to be wearing a stupid short brim hat in EVERY picture! Get a new style damn!!!

I hate melinda and her ugly hair and ugly nose and stupid accent.

Does anyone else get annoyed by Melinda's eyebrows? This may sound dumb, but every time it shows a confessional of hers I get angry staring at her eyebrows! Anyone else with me on this.....anyone?

I cant really think about what you mean right now Ashley but if it has to do with Melinda, I most likely hate it and am annoyed! HA

Her eyebrows look like little catepillars that got stricken with some genetic disease causing clumps of hair to fall out randomly. This isn't meant to offend any catepillars out there, just stating that they don't belong on anyone's face! Fill in your eyebrows Melinda!!! They scare me!

I think that Melinda's eyebrow problem is due to bleaching them to match her god-awful hair (and I wonder if Lacey ever wants to take the scissors to that rat's nest).

I think they're all losers:) If I had to choose one to be my friend, who would I choose? um..........I gues Johanna. Just because she seems smarter than everyone else. Who would everyone else choose?

Johanna is the only semi-likeable one in the cast by my book. She just will need to keep her mouth closed.

I wanted Melinda to step in dog shit.

Rachel ought to thank the Lord someone even wants her ass! Her pickings are slim at best. No, she is not ready to be married at twenty-one, and she needs to and has a right to state that clearly to Erik. But what does that have to do with giving up some ass? Plus, they showed her dick teasing him about all the sex he was going to get, then he gets nothing. I feel so sorry for the guy; he got so played on national TV.
Hate lacey more now, she needs to mind her business. Or if she must blow up everyone's spot, at least whisper, or wait until the person goes to the store or something-damn, have some finesse! I thought she was supposed to be so smart. Rachel has no balls; she should have broken that shit up as soon as she heard what Lacey was talking about and removed her man from the room. Weak.

Totally agree joslyn. Lacey needs to learn the art of talking behind peoples backs, cuz she sucks at it. And I feel soo bad for Erik If i was him I would have picked up the sog's shit and thrown it in Rachels face. She doesn't need to married at such a young age, but then don't make promises you can't keep. I was in the military and the only reason people hook up with people overseas is cuz there is no other ass to get, once you come back to the states that shit is over with. Kinda like "what happens in vega stays in vegas" damn these people need to learn the game!

Ooops, that was supposed to say *dog's not sog's. I got carried away.LOL

Quotes that had me laughing out loud:
"Wes announced, clearly never having met, you know, a wacked-out homeless Army vet."

"where a whopping three groupies showed up to partake in Vagina-Fest 2005 (starring the biggest vagina of all, Wes)."

"You suck at life." Sort of like how Wes sucks at brains."
I still laugh every time I read them.

Loved the recap B-side.
I think Lacey is asking for a beating I mean it's true that she pretty much says the truth but she should just say it to the people's faces or if she's gonna talk behind their backs well at least do a better job of it and Rachel for being a vet she has no balls (I know she doesn't have balls but you know what I mean) she should have walked right in there and called Lacey on her shit. At least that's what I Would have done. Oh and Erik is an idiot pretty much god he sucks.