zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
...yeah, i'm watchin it again tonight.

I'm actually really glad Danny wears short brimmed hats. Have you all seen that FOREHEAD!!! Weeeeeird!

loved the hamburgler comment-i definitely was laughing so hard I snorted, much to the enjoyment of my students....

side note-i'm pretty sure the entire cast should be sterilized-the thought of Wes(or faux Abe if you will) procreating makes my heart hurt...

I was very disappointed that all Johanna did was steal a flower from a homeless person...I thought she actually did something worth getting arrested for! Oh well...

Haha, I was hysterical when Danny "slammed" the curtain. I guess it would be a scary thing if they actually had doors!

Wes...go away...

I agree, goober. Frankendanny is doing us a favor with those short-brimmed hats. Emily, it looks like Wes and Johanna may be procreating soon!! Wes is the biggest goon I've seen on the RW, and he's living in a dillusional world. I guess ignorance is bliss.

Each Real World cast usually gives us a truly memorable tooljob. Adam from Paris, Amaya from Hawaii, Beth from Los Angeles... the list goes on. Props to Bunim/Murray for giving us not one but two pantheon tooljobs this season (three if you count Rachel's cotton candy ice cream-sending boyfriend). Wes, Danny, I salute your idiocy.

Stealing one of a homeless street vendors flowers is a pretty f#cked up thing to do.

Wes is going to be at a bar in Philly this week (I think) as a judge for a bikini contest. He is gross but stil probably get laid.

Along those lines of blond reality tools, I saw Anthony Fedorov Sunday, only because he lives a couple apartment doors down from me. He actually looks better than he did on AI.

Now, I've never lost a parent, so I want to give Danny that benefit of a doubt. I might act weird for a few months if that kind of thing happened to me too. But that doesn't mean this is a person worth trying to maintain a romantic relationship with!! Why does Mel keep giing him chances when there's a whole city of corn fed hottie texans out there?

I love the part about Nehemiah's arm- was there a woodchipper incident?! Freakin hilarious.

I didn't get to see this eppy, but this makes up for it. Much better than just watching. Thanks B-Side!

HAHAHA, love the danny letter writing. one thing is for sure though, he could take some lessons from martha stewart.

did anyone else think of johannas "solution" to her alcoholism was on par with that of landons? where johanna says she will ONLY drink wine, landon limited himself equally to 5 or 6 drinks a night.

poster children for moderation these "people" are not.

Why again does Melinda like Danny? I've never seen him do anything even remotely likeable.

Finally someon else is bothered by Danny's forehead. Everytime it rains it looks like a cover for at least 50 people.

Danny's forehead makes him look like he's a reflection in a freak mirror at the carnival fun house. Another typical douche with a smokin hot babe on his balls. we're in a crazy world, people.

I only get to see RW every now and then and I rely on your recaps to get my snort of the day, hilarious.
"Surely Lacey can break her out with the Power of Pale! Quick! To the Pasty-mobile!" LMAO, i'm sure the people sitting in the computer lab around me just LOVE my snorts and giggles as i read your recaps, thanks =)

Danny doesn't have a forehead...he's got a fivehead. :D

this is a photo if it were possible to genetically combine the cast from the real world.
http://www.nwo.dk/pic/fuck%20on%20first%20date.jpg

Not to sound insensative, but Danny's head reminds me of some midgets heads. The kinda larger cranial area belowing out. I wonder if there is dwarfism in his family.

MYL

OMG! your recaps are so HIGHlarious! thanks for making this rw season entertaing, b-side!

I like to think that I was on the anti-Danny forehead bandwagon early on.

In this post, I likened him to the alien in Alien. Granted, I didn't specify that it was the forehead that made me feel that way, but seriously, think about it. Totally has the alien forehead.

Bro, you're totally right about the head. People with dwarfism (achondroplasia) have a similar bone structure to their skull. How did he get on tv? ..and Wes, and Rachel, and Lacey?? I thought tv was for pretty people only.

Eskimohanna...classic!

B-Side, I love your recaps! I was waiting on it all week. I knew it would be hilarious because this episode was a 30-minute punchline. She steals a flower? I thought she got into a streetfight or something. And as always, Johanna never takes responsibility for her drunken dumb-ass behavior. True sign of an alcoholic.

This cast is one of the most laughable casts. The only people that are likeable (IMO) are Melinda and Rachel & Nehemiah on occassion. Danny treats Melinda likes she's nothing. I don't know what she sees in him.

Melinda's a nympho (she said so herself) so she sees 5 months of free sex with Danny! That's what she sees in him.

I would much rather read these recaps than actually *watch* the show! I'm so over The Real World it's not even funny. S.O.S. different season. Thank God B-side watches this crap so I don't have to! Thanks for takin' one for the team, B! :)

yesss!! i checked about ten times to see if this recap was up yet. i watched this episode with disgust over how stupid these people are. i can't stand how wes, melinda, and danny talk in mixed metaphores all the time. (i noticed the mom on gastineau girls does this too) this real world is so bad. i keep blending last season with this season, the color schemes on the screen are the same and the kitchen is set up the same, i dunno. why are the houses turning into giant open spaces. also i thought i was watching a rerun at some parts because of the retarded melinda/danny relationship debate. it is so redundent, hello obviously danny doesnt want a girlfriend right now but at the same time melinda is hot and all about him. so instead of just being buddies who fool around danny writes her a 6th grade style letter, lame!! melinda is too insecure to just have a casual relationship she has to latch right on. i mean remember how "wild and crazy" she was acting in the first episode. i mean, no class dude. also she was trying to come across as a party girl but its just to impress guys and then go all whiny.

B-side... i think i love you. thank you so much for making me laugh so hard.

Unlike most, I actually like Wes as a character. Classic Wes lines such as "Grand Theft Carnation" and "I feel like robbing a bank" (while riding horses in the last episode) never get old.
Plus, he always has the standard fallback - "My name is Wesssss"

Hilarious Recap b-side.

Why oh why do women even give Wes a second look???? Oh, yeah, it's because some women have so little self esteem and such a need to be noticed that they'll sleep with any old hideous little troll just to get on TV. EWWWWWW

Sweet Melinda
The peasants call her the goddess of gloom
She speaks good English
And she invites you up into her room
And you're so kind
And careful not to go to her too soon
And she takes your voice
And leaves you howling at the moon

I don't know about Danny's forehead, but Johanna's buck teeth give me the shivers. Fo Sho.

Thank you FishCooch for noticing Joey's buck teeth! Geez! All of my friends are like, "No, I don't see anything." They are so bucking obvious.

Anyway, I think Nehamiah summed it up best a couple of episodes ago, when he said, "Wes is...not attractive." How did Wes even get on this show? All the other people in the house are at least passable. Wes is just not attractive AT ALL!

As for Melinda: sure she latched on, but only because Danny is feeding her full of sh!t with that letter and stuff. She was totally there for him through his surgery and his mom's passing, etc. Now he's treating her like crap. Bottom line: He just wants to keep his wienie wet. So if he can't go out and hook up, he can always come home and try to wake Melinda out of a drunker slumber to get a piece of ass.

Ok, that's all I got. Except that Rachel is cute (I think) and she keeps going after ugly guys who wear lame basketball jerseys.

I have just stumbled on this blog, and with that said, you know I have a staggering amount of rant in me regarding RWA. SO much material so little time... Here's what is bugging me the most. Does Danny own another pair of jeans or any leg attire for that matter? Must I be faced with having to look at the same pair of pants for the entire duration of the show??? Yes, I know the show was taped and the kids are probably all married or dead by now, but I say screw the Katrina Fund -Danny needs a new pair of pants and he needs them now. C'mon people are ya with me? Well I feel better already. I can only pray to God that Melinda grows a spine and becomes a walking vagina monster and screws everything in sight while Danny watches from the sidelines with his only pair of pants because he needs a beating.

Danny's forehead is way worse than Johanna's teeth. Although they may be a little crooked, it's nothing a little cosmetic dentisty can't fix. They are nice and white!! I think she is freakin adorable, and is reeeaaally selling herself short falling for wesssssss. Johanna, if your'e reading..holla! i'll show you how a real man treats a woman.

Good Lord, is it possible that MTV stick any MORE weather related background scenes in this show?! I think last Tuesday's show had 11 minutes of the cast and and 19 minutes of pouring rain or sunrise shots.
Yes, Wes is unattractive and illiterate. However, I enjoy his retarded comments. He makes me laugh. And as for the whole Danny/Melinda saga...I feel her pain...I've been in that boat. She puts up with his bullshit and apologizes unecessarily because he's fine and she wants his ass. Ah, cruel, cruel world...

yadayada, I'm with you on hoping that Melinda cuts Danny off and really starts bringing the boys home....he is sooooooo trying to have his cake and eat it too.

YAWNS!!!

All this build up for a stolen flower and the continuing Danny Melinda saga.

The re-cap was great though. As usual B-Side made something out of a nothing ass episode.

Wow, people are really getting bored with the RW. Only 37 posts and this re-cap has been up for a couple of days now. I enjoy reading the posts as much as the re-cap. come on people!!! write some shit!

i love how wes changes his story on johanna according to how she is acting towards him at the time. such a wussy. it was funny how the episode ended with him saying how he has shown johanna that he will always be there for her, blah, blah, blah. he is such an idiot and thinks that he sounds smart. cant wait to see him in the rw/rr challenges, cuz you just know he's gonna milk this stint for all its worth

I agree, saralina. Wes totally changes his attitude and story toward Johanna, just depending on how she's treating him. One minute he's all telling Nehamiah, "If she can play games, I can play them better." (When she obviously wasn't playing games -- she, like the rest of the world, just thought Wes was ugly). And then the next minute he's calling her a bitch (actually, screaming it across the house). And then the next minute he's all, "I will always be here for her." No. You mean you will always be there waiting for a moment of weakness when you can tap that.

Amen to that skinnyjenny!!

i justrecently your site and i just have to say well done. i spent two hours reading up on the real world and laguna beach (my guilty pleasures). they are two terrible shows but i can not stop watching. you are hilarious but whoever write desperate housewives-not as funny. ill be reading every week from now and thank you for spending the time to make me laugh.

"And by "cutie" I mean she looked like a springer spaniel" HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Johanna committed Grand Theft Carnation. *sigh* She seriously needs to check into rehab; and I don't even mean that militiously. The girl needs help. But props to Wes for being funny on purpose.

As for Danny, he's definitely more trouble than he's worth--at least the version that's presented to us. He has a lotta growing up to do. Melinda needs to grow a spine and stand up for herself. Why call him out on all his shit if you're just gonna APOLOGIZE for NOTHING? That really made me sick...