Well, it's the day after Halloween, and what better way to unwind from a night of ghosts and goblins than by revisiting our old friends in The Real World: Austin. I've sort of gotten into a bad pattern where I do my posts a week after the show airs (it's very Television Without Pity, I know) but who can blame me? After writing about Laguna Beach, The Apprentice, and even The Amazing Race: Family Edition, it can be hard to muster the energy to attack our favorite bunch of drunken, hormonally-driven roommates. But then again, how could I not? So with the humble pledge that the next recap will appear sooner than this one, let's dive into all the hedonistic goodness once again.
Did I say hedonistic? Because this latest episode was all about work, not play. Sure, the producers managed to fit in drunken girls dancing atop bars, but hey, when it comes to the Real World, that's like capturing footage of people breathing: you can't avoid it. Anyway, the show began with Paul Steckler and his posse coming over to check out the documentary. Wait, what? Documentary? Oh, that's right! It's that job the kids have worked on for about five minutes this season. Well, before Steck could even check out the footage, there was some product placement to be had. He conveniently bestowed the roommies with a brand new T-Mobile Sidekick (pause to hold up Sidekick, smile at the camera) with the understanding that they could use it to keep in touch with their advisors. Yeah, okay, whatever. It's a product placement, Steck. They could have used a land line.
Steckler then gathered 'round the boys and girls and asked them what their favorite moments of the filming were, and guess what? Everyone liked a different band. Wes in particular made an impassioned plea for what may have been the seminal moment in filmmaking as a profession: "I was holding the camera up, and he was singing over me; he sweats all this water, and it falls down onto the camera lens... It's sick." Wow, sounds more impressive than the opening shot from Goodfellas.
Well, as ardent followers of this season may remember, the roommates had to put together a rough cut of their doc, otherwise they wouldn't get to have an STA Travel-sponsored vacation. That meant they had to present their work to none other than the Austin Film Society -- something Rachel was fairly eager to do. "This is to show the Austin Film Society what we've done and that we deserve a little vacation," she said. Seriously, they really deserve a vacation. Sometimes, when all you do is party day in and day out, you really need to take a break and party elsewhere. Besides, let's not forget about the demands of that documentary. I mean, people, they've put almost fifty hours of work into their job over three months. That's like thirty-two minutes a day!
Anyway, because of his alleged expertise in filmmaking and videography, Nehemiah stepped up to oversee the assembly edit of the doc while other roommates sat on the side and occasionally served as Avid cheerleaders. "I like it," declared Wes after seeing one cut. WELL! If Wes likes it, we might as well hand the Oscar over now! To be fair, Lacey said she liked it too, so hey, looks like we're heading to the People's Choice Awards also.
Nevertheless, while Nehemiah toiled on the Avid system, Wes explained his role in the editing process: "For the most part, I'm going to stay out of that editing suite unless I'm taking a girl in there." So.... basically, you're staying out.
As Nehemiah neared completion of the rough cut, Wes -- the Pauline Kael of The Real World house -- weighed in with his official opinion yet again: "Genius!" Consider it Netflixed!
Well, as long as Nehemiah seemed to be on top of this editing mess, it meant there was only one thing for Wes and Danny to do: hit up the Dizzy Rooster! We then cut to the two guys lapping up beer that had trickled off the wet t-shirts of two fairly ugly girls dancing on the bar top. Seriously, these guys really do need a vacation.
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Comments (36)
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1 of 36 | Posted by Mullethead | Posted on November 1, 2005 3:46 PM
You missed the funniest quote of the entire season. "I never fail anything except math. Twice" -- Nehemiah.
2 of 36 | Posted by The Dogg Pound | Posted on November 1, 2005 4:07 PM
Well said, Mullethead. A week late and no real luster on this one B-Side. We know you can do better.
3 of 36 | Posted by The Svan | Posted on November 1, 2005 4:16 PM
i really don't understand why the roommates are given a vacation from the vacation that they are already on. will someone please explain this concept to me?
4 of 36 | Posted by kel | Posted on November 1, 2005 4:30 PM
Wes' one-liners were more exciting than this recap... what gives?
(the LB one was amazing though.)
can't wait to see what sorta antics go down in costa rica...
5 of 36 | Posted by Jen | Posted on November 1, 2005 4:38 PM
i disagree-b-side did just fine-i think it's tough to recap so many shows and still keep bringing the funny, especially with this crappy season. maybe the svan should just svim away (sorry, couldn't resist--it's nothing against you)
6 of 36 | Posted by alix | Posted on November 1, 2005 4:39 PM
Hah! Hah! This was a hilarious posting. You guys should be thankful you even got anything. B-Side you're my hero.
7 of 36 | Posted by Kimistry | Posted on November 1, 2005 4:42 PM
The purpose of the "vacation" is to yank the roommates out of their house and provide a new environment for conflict. So it really has no connection to the roommates work or lack thereof.
8 of 36 | Posted by The Svan | Posted on November 1, 2005 4:42 PM
Nice one, alix. :)
B-side is spread to thin, they need more writers or to quit writing about tripe such as Laguna Beach, The Apprentice, and The Amazing Race: Family Edition.
9 of 36 | Posted by The Svan | Posted on November 1, 2005 4:43 PM
I meant the show, not B-Side. B-Side always keeps it fresh, even when he's off his game.
"Consider it Netflixed" and
"more impressive than the opening shot of Goodfellas" made me laugh, so kudos B-Side. But " So with the humble pledge that the next recap will appear sooner than this one,"...umm, this one already appeared, so IT is sooner than the next one.
10 of 36 | Posted by Mullethead | Posted on November 1, 2005 5:20 PM
thanks, svan :)
i mean, i understand why they send them on vacations, but thought it was dumb, since they're all already on vacation anyways. now MTV is actually trying to make it seem like the Real World is actually work! oh, MTV,you can't fool us!
11 of 36 | Posted by alix | Posted on November 1, 2005 5:22 PM
No need to apologize, B-Side. This show sucks. You'll get to it when you get to it.
12 of 36 | Posted by joslyn | Posted on November 1, 2005 8:41 PM
Um, yeah. The expression "polishing a turd" comes to mind. How can one possibly write a good recap when the subject matter is so damn BORING! I actually laughed a few times at the recap; can't say as much for the show.
B-side, you give good recap ;)
I LIVE for you Laguna recaps, seriously, so freaking funny...
13 of 36 | Posted by nuttypnik | Posted on November 1, 2005 10:25 PM
This recap was as good as it can be, I think, b/c this cast seriously sucks.... They are beyond boring. I am over watching it and will just stick to the recaps. They are way better than this damn show. :)
14 of 36 | Posted by Andy | Posted on November 2, 2005 6:45 AM
The more they take that stupid documentary seriously, the more I laugh. I can’t wait until they pick the drawer to keep their Costa Rican groupies. Then they can all stand around and talk about the drawer. And then Wes can reminisce about that time he got laid last month. Meanwhile Danny’s got a mouthful of Melinda in the other room.
Hey, at least it wasn’t India. I can only take so many shots of real worlders giving candy to starving children (It makes them happy!).
When do we get teh "re-cap" ofthe The Standard Hotel?
15 of 36 | Posted by EdHill | Posted on November 2, 2005 6:45 AM
Yea, this episode pretty much sucked. I couldn't even watch it twice...
I haven't seen last night's episode yet but any time there's drama you know it's a fun time!
16 of 36 | Posted by Guac | Posted on November 2, 2005 6:54 AM
good recap for a lame episode and lame show. i just can't believe johanna was actually READING. she's able to read??
17 of 36 | Posted by subgirl | Posted on November 2, 2005 7:35 AM
They just keep getting more and more and moooorrrreeee booooorrrriiiinnnngggggg - zzzzzzz.......
Oh, yes more boring.
It's sad when the recap has more pizzaz than the show! Love you B-Side!
18 of 36 | Posted by belinda | Posted on November 2, 2005 8:12 AM
Personally, I have always thought that B-Side's Real World recaps were underrated. Not that I think he really gives much of a shit what we think anyway, ha.
19 of 36 | Posted by J | Posted on November 2, 2005 8:17 AM
Bats and Costa Rica seem to be the two main themes this week.
No joke, just a random observation.
ha!
P.S. Tell us more about the two topless girls, please!
20 of 36 | Posted by ha! | Posted on November 2, 2005 9:04 AM
lacey looks like that scary ass doll on the bike from saw
http://media.collegepublisher.com/media/paper195/stills/c11yk664.jpg
http://www.tvsquad.com/images/2005/08/lacey.jpg
21 of 36 | Posted by spot | Posted on November 2, 2005 9:45 AM
B-Side don't listen to Svan!!!
Keep up with the AMAZING LAGUNA BEACH RECAPS!!! They really are your best and just take comfort in the fact that we understand that you really couldn't dedicate too much energy to this recap because of the topless girls in The Standard Hotel!
22 of 36 | Posted by ivapbj | Posted on November 2, 2005 10:03 AM
um, does anyone else think this cast got screwed in vacations? i mean, fiji, greece - COSTA RICA?
it's a beautiful place - but you don't hear cooing after coo about costa rica.
23 of 36 | Posted by aeb | Posted on November 2, 2005 11:14 AM
Jen -- little preview for ya: in Costa Rica they go out drinking. In bars. Danny's jealous of the attention Melinda gets, and they fight. So it's real different from the other ass-crappy episodes.
24 of 36 | Posted by MTVgetoffthe... | Posted on November 2, 2005 1:32 PM
Kinda funny you mentioned Quentin Tarantino because my boyfriend pointed out the uncanny resemblance btween Quentin and Lacey first episode this season. We've been calling her that all season!
25 of 36 | Posted by JLynn | Posted on November 2, 2005 2:10 PM
OH MY GOD--the next episode is AMAZING, and by amazing, I mean horribly boring.
nevertheless, wes DOES apparently "mistaken" a guy for a girl while in a cab with neihmiah, and he actually says "well, that was the hottest dude I've ever seen"..oh wes, stop pretending to be straight. we all know you like to be embraced in the large arms of a strong man..like clay aiken (no word on whether he and reality loser reichen are together)
*oh, and wes/danny (what a douchebag, seriously)/neihmiah actually convince some brain -damaged americans that wes is Prince Harry..yeah. no word on whether or not they crawl out of their hole in the ground to do anything other than partying.
can't wait for the next recap, B-side
26 of 36 | Posted by alix | Posted on November 2, 2005 2:21 PM
You missed the funniest quote of the entire season. "I never fail anything except math. Twice" -- Nehemiah.
Posted by: The Dogg Pound
I agree! Did you see The Soup? I love when Joel McHale makes fun of Nehemiah!
27 of 36 | Posted by Tara | Posted on November 2, 2005 2:27 PM
This season sux!!!!! They should just rename it Danny and Melinda's Reality Show. This cast is horrible...
Wes - what a joke!
Nehemiah - get real!
Danny - stop being so jealous!
Melinda - guys only stare at your fake boobies!
Lacey - get a tan!
Rachel - go back to war!
Johanna - how will you ever get a job in your field of study now?!
28 of 36 | Posted by Tara | Posted on November 2, 2005 2:30 PM
tara- if you like joel mcHale, check out The Showbiz Show with David Spade on Comedy central..same funny one-liners about b-list actors and reality shit...it's (thankfully) reminiscent of "Black Sheep" David Spade, not "Dickie Roberts" David Spade
29 of 36 | Posted by alix | Posted on November 2, 2005 2:40 PM
ivapbj,
Please go fuck yourself.
Sincerely,
The Svan.
30 of 36 | Posted by The Svan | Posted on November 2, 2005 3:40 PM
Tara...
When you said... Rachel - go back to war! ...
you should have added... and please step on a land mine.
31 of 36 | Posted by bacardi | Posted on November 2, 2005 8:51 PM
Another good recap!
Thanks B-Side =)
32 of 36 | Posted by Jen | Posted on November 2, 2005 11:28 PM
I Think I wanna send a letter to the Producers of The Real World and tell them that they need to re-evaluate the formula that they use to cast these people. I don't remember one good cast since the Real World New Orleans. Everything else has sucked. They get young ignorant people who just make them selves look idiotic. It's pathetic, If I ever saw any of them in person, I would probably laugh my ass off so hard at them, and ask them " you know you're an idiot right?"
33 of 36 | Posted by Veronica | Posted on November 3, 2005 5:09 AM
BARCARDI-- AHHAHAHAHAH!
34 of 36 | Posted by Catrina | Posted on November 3, 2005 7:04 AM
Is it me, or are Wes' one-liners becoming the most entertaining part of the whole damn show? I started off hating him, now I space out if he isn't in the shot, 'cuz I damn well know, I'm not going to get any laughs.
35 of 36 | Posted by Danielle | Posted on November 3, 2005 11:51 AM
You must have PhD in Polishing the Turd-ology bcuz your recaps are WAAAYY better than the show. So sad. Can't wait until next week's Guna Tuna recap.
36 of 36 | Posted by B-Side's #1 girl | Posted on November 3, 2005 12:19 PM