Of course the show opened with little clusters of people meeting in random touristy locations across the city and then taking unique transportation to the house. Willy and Sarah immediately bonded for no real reason except that they quickly sniffed out that they both like men.. A LOT. Sarah in fact went to all lengths during the episode to prove just how sexual she is. First it was her stupid padded bra that she pulled out, then it was a little tour of her sexual costumes, then it was her fake breasts (she comments that she's always been very comfortable with her body, as evidenced by the need for some silicon enhancements), and then it was her making the guys touch her fake breasts. Somewhere in there Sarah noted that she's always wanted to be sexual ever since she was a little girl. I wonder, was that before or after she was sexually abused?

Anyway, it didn't take long for Sarah to pounce on MJ, the Southern gentleman who once hoped to play for the NFL. MJ was mildly attracted to Sarah, it seemed, but he came up with a jokey excuse as to why he wouldn't be hooking up with her: she wasn't a blonde. It was a superficial comment, but I actually think it was his non-confrontational way of saying "Look, it's not gonna happen because I think you're crazy". Well, now Sarah had a quest. No, it wasn't a quest to make MJ realize hair color shouldn't really matter. That would be a little too high level for Sarah. Instead, she set out to prove that red heads are just as good, if not better than blondes. Glad to see that whole body image security thing is going well.

With her mission ahead of her to lay the tallest straight man in the house (of which there were only two, but more on that later), Sarah spent the first episode flirting with all the subtlety of a vagina on a billboard. Her most awkward move was a lame hair dryer seduction where she wantonly dried MJ's shirt while giving him the Come Hither eyes. "He's drawn to the cheapest tricks," bragged Sarah. I wonder if she was referring to herself when she said "cheapest trick".

Later Sarah piled herself into a bikini and showed off her surgically enhanced rack. Once again, I was glad that she had no self-image problems because her boobies looked like two polarized cue-balls repelling each other to the far ends of her torso. There was more flirting in the hot tub, which led Sarah to believe there was sexual tension between her and MJ. In fact, she said that many many times. Truth is that Sarah feels sexual tension with houseplants. This girl really needs to shut up. We get it, you're sexual (and lame and pathetic). I just don't know if she was trying to convince us or herself.