So where do you think our hero goes running afterwards? That's right, it's house ho Ashli's turn for a little Ku Klux lovin'. She's mad at me, he bitches. Um, what? WHAT? He grabs a pen, draws America on one piece of paper and Australia on another, and uses this as a prop to explain that it's "too much of a distance to be playing little junior high I'm-mad-at-you-so-I'm-gonna-hang-up-the-phone." Flippy and I are looking at each other speechless. Is Dumby on crack? Oh wait, I may be on to something there. It would explain the anger and the bad skin. That's it. Dumby Bear's on crack.
Well, he's sure as hell not on Proactiv.
Later, Ashli explains to us that tonight, they're....GOING TO A NEW BAR! Say what you will about Ashli and her "i" but she's taking them to a new bar! It's called The Lowenbrau. I'm pretty sure this is a beer, but I don't care. It could be called The Monkey's Ass for all I care. I'm just delighted that someone's finally going to a new bar. I hope Ashli introduces them to Quizno's next.
Dumby says one thing but does another when he's partying, Ashli informs us. She's wearing a cut off jean skirt. I want to refer back to ChickBomb Rule # 1579: Trendy clothing is fine, but must be retired within 30 days of said trend hitting the mall, but considering this trend started in the mall, I guess it doesn't apply. So I'll settle for just wanting to burn it in a bonfire along with KA's message tees, Shauvon's handcuff purse, and Trasha's fake Chanels. Burn, bad fashion, burn!
Anyway, they don't even have one drink in them before they're rubbing all over each other on the dance floor and Ashli tells us she's "feelin' it." Oh, now I get why Ash wanted a new bar. She just wanted to be somewhere where nobody knew them to carry on their torrid affair. Shady! The Lowenbrau is like the Motel 6. The perfect plan. If only there weren't all those pesky cameras and a production crew circling them.
"I don't even care right now," Ash flippantly tells him, grinding up on him. Please, like she cares so much at all other times. "I do!", Dumby replies, grinning blissfully, and grinding back to her. Well, obviously.
Is that a cork in your pocket or are you happy to see me?
After the trip to the new bar, Ash and Dumby Bear are in the kitchen sitting thisclose to each other. Ash is trying to use a little reverse psychology to get Dumby into bed with her, telling him he won't do it, he doesn't have enough balls. Actually, she's trying to get him to spoon with her and KA in the same bed. Dumby points out that he's already spooned with KA, and KA knows what it's all about.
Well, you haven't spooned with both of us, Ashli argues. You couldn't handle that. We'd rock your world, she continues. Any nineteen year old girl who talks this blatantly is either a tease of a total ho bag. I'm not sure yet. I would just sit there and think about the girl I love, Dumby tells her. Oh, that makes it OK. That makes it not at all cheating.
His penis wants him to be single, Ashli tells us. Isn't that what every man's penis wants? He doesn't want her sex, she didn't offer him her sex, well her female persuasion then, blah, blah, whatever, whatever, just do it already so we can get to the backlash, will ya?
Dumby Bear tells Ashli if he didn't have a girlfriend, it would be on. She says that doesn't matter. Then she tells him she understands, she's not a homewrecker, she'd never be a homewrecker. Luckily, I know she's full of it, otherwise I would have turned this off right then and there. It's not easy, Dumby reminds us, especially when you're used to having sex A LOT. Had to throw that one in there, huh, tiger? Especially cause Ashli resembles DGJ. That makes it even HARDER. Oh yeah, it does.
Home is where the tart is.
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Comments (19)
Oh ChickBomb, I have been waiting for your recap. Bravo!!! Job well done. I too was surprised to see RW on after The Hills. While Parisa has done some things I don't agree with, nothing comes close to how rude and aggressive Trasha has been. Would love to be a fly on the wall when her parents and boyfriend see her antics. Can't wait until next week to see Miss "As a Christian" have the door hit her on the way out!
1 of 19 | Posted by IndyHillsAddict | Posted on November 21, 2007 6:42 PM
I official re-christen him Dumby Bear as well.
2 of 19 | Posted by Sweetleaf911 | Posted on November 21, 2007 6:46 PM
Hilarious recap! Of course, the episode was AWESOME!!! I played back the shoving scene about 3 times to try and hear what Trasha said before she knocked Parisa. It was something about "I can't talk to them because of their work and church and....."
What I find utterly ridiculous is that after that little diatribe about being Christian and that church stood in the way of her talking to her parents, she had the nerve to lay her hands on someone. She may need to get back to church and brush up a little.
For what it's worth, though, she didn't look like she hit Parisa hard enough to knock her down. I thought it was a well-maneuvered flop. Parisa should play for the NBA.
3 of 19 | Posted by texasgal75 | Posted on November 21, 2007 8:40 PM
What she says is my family is busy with work and church and can't talk, so don't say I pick Jarrod over them. Or something to that effect, according to my captioning. I beg to differ on the fact that she didn't push her hard enough. I think she did, but it probably wouldn't have been so bad except for the fact that Parisa fell into a doorway and then over something, it was more than just a push.
I was a little disappointed that they've shown us the push for weeks now, but we can all tell the fallout is what'll be good. Happy Thanksgiving.
4 of 19 | Posted by bentley1101 | Posted on November 22, 2007 11:18 AM
Dammit, I need to start watching this show again instead of just reading the recaps!
From the recap:
"He's turning it around and making HER the cheater so he won't feel guilty about banging house whore later, Flippy notes. I'm starting to wonder if I should be watching with Flippy. He's more insightful than me."
Indeed. Flipit is invited to all upcoming Real World parties hosted at my house.
5 of 19 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on November 22, 2007 6:59 PM
... the producers SUCK!
This episode and the next should have been combined to make one glorious episode. Basically the previews already showed this entire episode... there was so little point in watching. I can't believe they left the push at the end and NEXT week we get the "I pushed a fat girl" thing... What the hell? Lame, lame, lame!
6 of 19 | Posted by shia0bundan | Posted on November 22, 2007 8:25 PM
Trasha is quite possibly the most disgusting piece of shit human being I have ever met and/or seen on a reality tv show. Her behavior, comments, rudeness, skunk hair, flaunting Christianity when it's convenient, distorted perception of reality, even her voice, just everything is such complete trashy shit.
Your screencap about "It rang twice! Who are you banging you slut?!?!" cracked me up. Dumby Bear is definitely on his way to the Spousal Abuse Hall of Fame.
7 of 19 | Posted by DP Hooker | Posted on November 22, 2007 8:53 PM
I second the opinion that Flipit needs to start watching shows with you. I really enjoyed your recaps at the beginning of the season ChickBomb, and finally about a month ago they degenerated to a point where I just refused to comment because it was adding fuel to the fire. Glad to see funny ChickBomb is back in the swing of things.
I hope that Trash-heap gets sent home. I watched that clip a few more times and decided that she did hit Parisa pretty hard. I don't care how angry you are, you just don't lay your hands on other people. Maybe our Christian princess was attempting some faith healing? It wouldn't be the first idea she got screwed up in that warped little mind of hers.
Ashli is one of the whoriest whores I've ever seen on the Real World. She makes Trashelle seem like a nice southern debutante.
And until Issac sits down and tells us who is on the phone the most, I call bullshit on all of them. Cow will work in a pinch.
8 of 19 | Posted by HereKittyKitty | Posted on November 23, 2007 8:03 AM
You forgot to include Trisha pinching Parisa! lol
9 of 19 | Posted by isharma | Posted on November 23, 2007 12:04 PM
pinching, is that what that weird interaction afterwards was?
10 of 19 | Posted by jesshloly | Posted on November 23, 2007 5:39 PM
If I was Parisa I would've rip Trasha's skunk hair out of its tracks. Honestly Parisa needs to grow some cajones and start fighting back and stop being so needy, because she really has potential.
11 of 19 | Posted by joeydoll | Posted on November 24, 2007 8:18 PM
HereKittyKitty,
WB! We missed you!
12 of 19 | Posted by Chee-Z-TeeVee Addict | Posted on November 26, 2007 4:43 AM
What was with Trisha yelling "i didn't hit you, bitch?" Uh, clearly.... you did.
And i wonder how Julie feels now watching this shit on tv? if i saw my boyfriend telling another girl that he would fuck her if he was single and cuddling in bed with some hobag you better believe i wouldnt keep him around.. regardless of whether he physically "cheated" or not!!
13 of 19 | Posted by Errrica | Posted on November 26, 2007 8:00 AM
These. People. Are. Awful.WOW.
I know I'm waaaayyy too old (28) to identify with the cast of this show, but is this truly what's going on with the late teen / early twenty set?! Sweet Jesus! I hope every single one of them gets sucked directly into hell without even dying first...and I say this "as a Christian..."
Ha! Great recap!
14 of 19 | Posted by Dramaqn15 | Posted on November 26, 2007 4:09 PM
These. People. Are. Awful. WOW.
I know I'm waaaayy too old (28) to identify with the cast members, but is this seriously what's going on with the late teen / early twenty set? I hope each one of them gets sucked directly into hell without even dying first. And I say this "as a Christian..."
Ha! Great recap!
15 of 19 | Posted by Dramaqn15 | Posted on November 26, 2007 4:12 PM
I found this episode really boring. The best thing was the dumby bear thing.
The much hyped Parisa/Trasha fight turned out to be a snoozer. Makes me think most of the other hyped stuff that's supposed to happen will turn out to be a snooze fest as well.
16 of 19 | Posted by bakismaki | Posted on November 27, 2007 10:24 AM
Parisa is a tattletale. She isnt nice to any of the roommates. No one likes her because she doesnt give s sh** about anyone else and just talks on the phone with her mommy. She is SO boring to watch. Singing or working out or trying to get on Dumby Bear. She is so annoying! I wish Marge would leave.
17 of 19 | Posted by arainbow | Posted on November 28, 2007 7:45 PM
I have been coming to TVgasm for the past couple of years and I’ve never felt the need to comment… until now. Chickbomb, you are WAY TOO EASY on the snobby sluts in the house (Trisha, Kelly Ann, and Ashli) and you are WAY TOO HARD on Parisa. The way you make fun of Parisa’s style, how you notice silly things like eyelashes, and how you barely make fun of the “pretty girls” makes me think it is because you are EXACTLY like Trisha, Kelly Ann, and Ashli: stuck-up, close-minded, and superficial.
18 of 19 | Posted by pinky1234 | Posted on November 29, 2007 7:50 AM
I agree, you could be way harder on those other bitches. I can't say that I blame Parisa for not giving a sh*t about any of them because it's not like they've been nice to her. I'm glad Trisha's going home cause she is the worst of them...well KA is really bad too. God I hate them, the only one I like is Isaac. All the others should "get sucked directly into hell without even dying first."- Dramaqn15
19 of 19 | Posted by MichyPR | Posted on December 1, 2007 10:15 AM