Welcome back to The Real World Cancun! May-juh (I know, that wasn't Mexican, but I have to practice my Victoria Beckham too, you know) props to MIchy PR for translating Rihanna's email to Scrawny Pat from last week! The best part was when she bragged about Scrawny being in it for the cameras with Jassy, but definitely not with her. Hearts, Michy PR! Thanks for ruining your eyesight for the....um, cause? And now, for the latest...
It's cuz Rihanna's in heat.
We open with football and Piglet CJ. I can't imagine a more boring combination. Turns out, Piglet's getting a tryout for the NFL, which means Piglet's also getting a storyline today. In the house, Everybody's Gay Bestie Derek tells Piglet that win or lose, he's proud of him. Then Piglet tells us that this is his third year trying out. Excellent hedge, Derek. Followed by, "Just make it already, bitch!" Well, that had a very butch, football-esque ring to it, no?
Alright, it's been a whole paragraph of football and I'm over it already. Let's go to the club! Let's meet Emilee's new boyfriend, Carlito! Let's make fun of his fake Gucci logo hat! I would ask what kind of moron would actually wear this, but first I'd have to find out where one would even buy this. I should also mention that Carlito is a little pudgy and he has a huge zit. But he was smart enough to hit on Emilee in front of Rihanna, which means two seconds after Emilee sends him off to fetch ice cubes for her drink, Rihanna's cornering him near a lounge chair and dragging him to the dance floor.
Don't let this handjob give you the wrong idea, k?
Naturally, Emilee is pissed, but she's medicated so we can't really tell. She doesn't say a word about it, but Jassy's happy to have someone else to authenticate Rihanna's husband stealing ways. She recounts the story to Ayiiia. "I would never do that!" she declares, followed by a firm, "I don't trust her!" Okay, established.
Over at the GRL, otherwise known as Brawny's new digs, it's bore snore. "I'm bored out of my mind," he informs us, "So obviously, I'm going to make a zombie movie!" Oh, of course. Obvs. Then we're treated to Brawny's ridiculous camcorder masterpiece. Piglet and Derek pretend they like it. I'm starting to realize that Brawny's just one of those loud, obnoxious people who thinks that being loud and obnoxious is funny. At the GRL pool, Xtina's giving the Student City workers a nice farewell speech. Goodbye Xtina, I will miss your parade of hairdos. You will always have a special place in the hearts of Mexicans and MTV viewers alike for kicking that herpes disguised as a Real World cast member out of Cancun.
Slightly more watchable than Ryan's suicide movie.
And back to Piglet, he's got news for the other two boys - he's bringing them to Las Vegas for his NFL tryout! They're predictably happy, and ready to have t-shirts printed for the occasion. Well, that's actually kind of sweet. Later that night, Piglet and Derek are on the public drunk people bus, and somebody starts with everybody's gay bestie. Piglet takes matters into his own hands, and retaliates by beating the guy up. And apparently, Derek gets in the fray as well. "You punched a guy and I kicked his friend!" Derek giggles drunkenly as they stumble back into the house and into the confessional. Impressive work, boys.
Then they re-enact the ass kicking about ten different ways in the house, complete with Piglet using a yellow notebook as a dummy for the dude he punched. And it's all fun and games...until the Policia show up. The next day at the pool of some other hotel, that's what happens. Piglet denies everything, and Brawny, who doesn't know what the hell he's talking about and to my knowledge wasn't even there, backs him up. "Who are these kids? I don't know them," sniffs Mr. Cool Cause I'm On The Real World to the non-Real World accusers. Piglet continues to deny everything.
Gay Bestie probably didn't help matters by hollering "Piiiiiglet!" at the top of his lungs as he exited the bus.
The hotel lady tells them nonetheless, they have to talk to the police. "I'll talk to the police! Let's go!" yells Brawny. What are you going to talk about, jackass? And I doubt he knows either, but if the other guys are piling into a Mexican paddy wagon, Brawny is not about to be left behind.
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Comments (14)
ChickBomb, in addition to be hilarious and generally awesome, now I find out you're also Jewish??? Now I really have a crush on you!
1 of 14 | Posted by JasonR | Posted on September 9, 2009 7:24 AM
ChickBomb,
totally agree on the hitler analogy. comparing anyone but hitler to hitler is just a lazy analogy and shows a lack of understand and maturity. that being said, i know where brawny was coming from, because i may have killed emilee and ayiiia if they went through my stuff and then was treated to that indignant tone they had when they were calmly confronted about it.
2 of 14 | Posted by baymenxpac | Posted on September 9, 2009 7:54 AM
Oh my gosh! I loved this recap! Mostly because I agree with you 100%, especially on how I initially thought Brawney was a harmless ball of fun and now I think he just screams because he knows that is the only way anyone will give a fuck about what he is saying (not to mention ruthless dictator comparisons = not cool!)
BUT - I've been dying to ask the following: Am I the only one that was shocked to hear that every time the boys hug (which is kind of a lot!) they say, "I love you"?!?!?!?! Please tell me, is this common among men (straight or gay!)? It happened like 3 times and each time, I was like: did I hear that right? (don't get me wrong, not complaining, just surprised!)
Oh - and I couldn't help but laugh all the way through the Derek and Piglet's confession after the "fight" they were so drunk and silly - it was just plain entertaining!
Bring on the Finale!!
3 of 14 | Posted by carmelicious | Posted on September 9, 2009 9:25 AM
@ carmelicious.... men only do that kind of bromancing when they're drunk! Which seems to be kind of a lot down in Mexico....
4 of 14 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on September 9, 2009 9:59 AM
I noticed the EXACT same thing about the guys and hoped it would be mentioned. I am annoyed by false sentiment between girls who really don't know each other that well, and when guys do it, it's that much weirder.
5 of 14 | Posted by andreak1013 | Posted on September 9, 2009 10:14 AM
P.S. This episode will probably please the previous poster who said they found Emilee to be the most attractive girl, but didn't seem to have any guy prospects. But....seriously....that guy? First Rihanna with disgusting-in-every-form-of-the-word Pat, and now Emilee with....that guy? And people say guys will sleep with anything. Also, I love how his name is Carlito and he's whiter than rice.
6 of 14 | Posted by andreak1013 | Posted on September 9, 2009 10:18 AM
to seclude means to isolate. how is that not what Rihanna meant?
7 of 14 | Posted by drb20 | Posted on September 9, 2009 12:33 PM
That was like the 4th time Brawny made a comment comparing someone to Hitler. Awkwarddddd
8 of 14 | Posted by plockeness monster | Posted on September 9, 2009 12:47 PM
Great recap ChickBomb, thanks for the shout out, happy to ruin my eyesight for the cause lol.
So I thought that what Rihanna meant to say was "exclude" but maybe that's just me. Anyways, when it comes to Bronne, while I can see what he's saying, maybe Hitler was not the best example.
9 of 14 | Posted by MichyPR | Posted on September 9, 2009 12:56 PM
"Finally a hero comes along to save the Jews from having their zombie magazines stomped on."
LOVES IT!!! What a great caption!
10 of 14 | Posted by hoboscooter | Posted on September 9, 2009 3:52 PM
CJ hasn't hooked up with any pro teams that I've found so far.
11 of 14 | Posted by Anonymous | Posted on September 10, 2009 3:16 AM
I don't know about Jonna. Sometimes she seems really pretty, but others she's just blah. Why is everyone so crazy about her?
Also, has anyone else noticed those weird discolorations on her arms and legs? What's up with that?
12 of 14 | Posted by spacevenus | Posted on September 10, 2009 7:49 AM
I remember one of the guys, Brawny, I think telling The Herp that he loved him when they were saying goodbye on the phone. Just a tad weird. Most brothers don't even do that. But whatevs.
Rihanna (btw, why do you call her that?) is such an attention whore - only from the male persuasion - which makes it obvious how insecure she is. It's sad really. But, if I was one of the female roommates and she made such obvious plays for a dude I'm gunning for - honey, it is going down! Her weave would have been loooooong gone!
And did any of you catch "The Shit They Should Have Shown"? They all talked about how nasty her weave was - one of them even said it smelled like Spaghettios!!!! LOLOLOL!
13 of 14 | Posted by msjacqmills | Posted on September 10, 2009 3:39 PM
Why is it, that The Shit They Should Have Shown, is a hundred times more entertaining than the majority of the crap we are subjected to every week?
Here's my take on the Rhianna vs. the girl roomies situation. Yes, she whores herself out like no ones business and is a big flirt. That's just sad and maybe she needs to seek some help for that or something, but it drove me crazy how jealous the other girls got about it. They in turn made themselves look like such whiney babies. All they had to do was ignore her actions and let her go on looking like a tramp. But I guess that wouldn't be as fun for us to watch, would it?
Also...WTF Emilee. Cry me a damn river already. Her crying about the guys trip to Vegas was so pathetic. As is destruction of someones personal property! Ugh.
14 of 14 | Posted by HandyManda | Posted on September 10, 2009 10:43 PM