Thank God, finally a good episode!

Jenn and Colie really are awful. I love Brooke, no matter how cooky she is. I'd probably flip out if I had to live with those slutbags 24/7 too. And hooray for Brooke for finally saying what everyone else is thinking-Jenn is a trashy bitch. Ew.

When Alex was trashed and looking for a place to sleep, I couldn't help but think maybe he should find a nice basketball to sleep with on the floor like in the mono episode.

Lastly, who starts drinking at 1pm? Seriously?

Oh, B-side, how you make unbearable tv the funniest thing to watch!

firstly, what happened to the innocent days of real world NY where they fought over real issues like race...

I feel like it's like the race to crazytown and they're all in a close competition!!

and secondly, WHY are these two girls fighting over the most annoyingly into himself fratboy? hes not even that cute!! what an ego on this kid!! I swear, those clicky bitches are the reason I hated highschool lol! why does MTV continue to find the lowest of the low for their shows? oh, right, I forgot, because the only people willing to do this show anymore are the oversexed always intoxicated people that you used to make sure you wore your shoes in the shower when they used them before you in the dorms lolol

oh, and "Cut to me clapping like a giddy seal" was probably the best line you have ever written, B-side!! keep up the amazng recaps!!

I haven't seen this episode due to cable problems. But I have to say (I'm sure you hear this often B-side) But I love you. I have laughed non-stop throughout this recap. That being said.
Brooke is awesome she might be our new Paula Wallnuts. Never know what sets that girl off.
What is the appeal with Alex ? Like really ? Anyone ? He's not cute.
Also why are all these guys kissing Colie ? Like a week ago the girl had mono, due to the fact that she was going around kissing random dudes. This was not her first but it was her second time with mono. I guess they want to keep that festering pool of germs in the family.
Jenn, A number 1 SLUT. Brooke said it best when she called her a trashy slut. What happened to "Alex you make me sick, you repulse me." Guess the bottle came a-calling and booked her a gig on Alex's lips.
She can't say no to the bottle it's her PR person.
These kids are going to need liver transplants in a few years at the rate they're going. I like to drink but they are out of control.

Classic.

Brooke is a loon, and she is the sanest one in the house.

At least she knows what a mess she is. The others have no idea.

brooke is so nutty, i'm just waiting for her to shave her head, stop wearing panties, and have kids with a white trash loser.

maybe if i'm lucky this will all happen within the next two or three episodes.

Aaahhh!! All three of these girls are crazy! I wouldn't be able to stand any of them. I know ya'll love Brooke to death on here, but she really bugs the mess out me. I'd rather live with Paula Walnuts than her. But yes, she's makes for great episodes and this show made me laugh nonetheless.

Isn't Stephen always missing when the real drama breaks off? He just shows up right after and is like, "What's going on? What's happening?"

How the hell can people still be saying Brooke is the most normal one in the house???? We haven't seen Tyrie or Davis explode since that second episode...whereas Brooke has time and time again proven herself to be a time-bomb...

from the words of Ric Flair: WWWOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! what an episode! I'm still getting over a great idol, and halfway through this show, and man...Brooke is awesome. Some more ranting to come later....

from the words of Ric Flair: WWWOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! what an episode! I'm still getting over a great idol, and halfway through this show, and man...all I want to say right now is, Brooke is awesome, and Colie and Jen are only jealous of her.... Some more comments to come...COLIE IS A RETARD. PERIOD...

OK. This show proved 2 things I've said before. 1)My prediction of Jen and Alex getting back together (even if it's a temporary sex romp), I did predict that they were gonna fondle each other oagain later this season.

2) Brooke is the normal one. I was the outcast when I said this. Everyone said I was defending a loon. I said, she is a loon, but compared to jen and colie, she is the better of the two. This episode proved it. What a bitch those 2 girls are, picking a fight with a girl, just because they're jealous. They both know Brooke is the hot one in the show, and it was only a matter of time that the 2 sluts showed their true colors. What the hell did Brooke do? Sure she's a little stuck up, and whiny, but I never seen her disrespect any of the housemates. Brooke is a whiny brat, but in no way she's the things jen and colie said she is. I don't even have to express my opinions on Jen and Colie. You all know how I feel about them!!! I freaking HATE COLIE, even more so than Jen...

Seriously, sometimes I think the producers paid colie and Jen to act that way. How can a normal human beings act like that?

I am SOOO glad that everyone is finally talking about how incredibly trashy Jen looks on a day to day basis. And not even cute trashy, just trashy trashy.

And as to Brooke's craziness, at least Brooke was wearing pants while she was lurching around like an animal. If she hadn't been I would have combusted from the awesomeness of this episode.

Also, the screencap of Colie in the morning with the "needamanneedaman" tag was hillarious.
Thanks for the awesomeness Bside

Brooke is so awesome!! Paula Walnuts cannot compare! Before this ep. I was on the border about Brooke, because she's 100% entertainment, but 200% irrational nutjob. Watching her blow up on those two skanks Jenn and Colie was great!

Colie is completely delusional! Oh, and Alex is the shit! I love how he completely fucks with Colie's mind! And Jenn is such a trashy whore! Aside from her ho-ish appearance, the fact that she's sleeping with Alex (preview next week) and making out with him again after her tirade about how he manipulated her into having sex shows what a hypocrital slut she is!

B-Side, Jenn and Colie ARE the worst tandem in RW history and I cringe at the thought of them being on future challenges!

I haven't seen the episode yet, but I think this was the funniest recap of the RW ever...great job B-Side.

OMG - the muffin top comment did me in on this one. I laughed for like 5 seconds - doesn't sound like long, but it is - try it!

How could you not mention Brooke darting out of the house like a white FloJo with her ankle brace on??? Oh her poor ankle.

To comment number 10:

First of all, there are three of them. That would make her the best out of the three, not the better out of the two. Secondly, did you not watch the show? Did you not hear her flip out on Colie for no reason, besides her saying "Is this your macaroni pot?" How is that being the most normal one? If I were Colie or Jen (and i'm not saying Colie's not annoying), I would have called her out a loooooong time ago. I mean, right around the time she fucking FAKED AN ANKLE INJURY so she could get out of work. Colie may be needy and annoying, and self-centered, but at least she takes her job seriously. And Jen, well...clearly she just needs to get over her drinking problem, and then she'll be fine.
Colie and Jen are not JEALOUS of Brooke. Colie asked Brooke about a pot, so that automatically means she's jealous? WTF? Seriously, you make ridiculous statements on people's characters based on nothing, like the statement that you made about Lakisha that has absolutely no validity.

Everyone is so boring and pathetic. Colie's face and voice are the apocalypse personified. Jen sucks and talks like ass. Alex is a p-word. Brooke is crazy but I like her the best.

Colie, there is a book called "He's Just Not That Into You." Thanks for setting back the feminist movement at least 8 years. Plus, everyone knows you can only have dibs on one guy at a time. That is the friend rule. Alex is fair game for Jen. Colie seems to have never progressed past the "MINE" stage of development during her toddler years.

rock star,

i couldn't agree with you more.

colie and jenn are NOT jealous of brooke.
there's absolutely nothing there to be jealous of. brooke is insane.

does anyone else think that brooke has a serious problem with people telling her to clean up? remember when they were camping and alex asked her if she could help out instead of just standing there and she lashed out at him just like when colie asked her about the pot? something tells me she has serious issues with cleaning/being told to clean from her childhood.

B-Side, I was surprised you didn't say anything about Alex floating in a raft in the HOT TUB. I got super-confused because I was sure they didn't have a pool...

Colie's unfortunate muffin top made me think of her little song: "When you're fat, you don't wear that!"

colie may be super annoying, but she's NOT fat!

Didn't say she was fat, she just had muffin top due to ill-fitting shorts. Those who live in glass houses, blah blah blah.

i know you didn't. i was just saying she's not fat. by the way, i love the term muffin top.

Rock *, what if someone you knew, who you didn't like in the first place, asks you about something out of nowhere to embarrass you and put you on the spot? Would you just act casual and be cool with it? I would, but only if the person is a close friend. I would not, however, if he/she is just a annoying roommate who I have animosity towards, and I’m sure you feel the same.

Why is Colie asking about a pot while others left dirty dishes in the sink too? You know why? It was a test to see if she can push Brooke around, but she found out that if she messed with Brooke, she will be sorry. You see, Rock*, People like Colie and Jen need to be screamed at or else they will push and bully you around. The nicer you are to them, the bitcher they act towards you. They are caddy and immature. Couldn’t you tell that Colie never liked Brooke from the beginning? She tried to make Brooke an outcast and turn Jen against her. She is an immature bitch, and Jen is just as bad because she acted like Brooke's friend, but turned on her to hurt her on purpose. That's just typical Jen. Again, I ask, what the hell did Brooke do to either of them? I always saw her treat the other 2 girls with respect.

Am I wrong anyone? Help me out here...I’m sure B-side agrees with me.

(About Lakisha Jones, I will cover that another time.)

Yes, Jenn is trashy and Colie is a possessive drunk (and she was especially annoying straddling Alex while his friends were right behind them). BUT Brooke is A1 psycho sauce. Whatever meds she was on during the show were clearly not working for her. I hope her doctors gave her new ones to help her cope. Although I loved the way Brooke exaggerated the entire Colie-macaroni and cheese-pot confrontation. No wonder she freaks out if she sees everything from a completely warped angle.

And does anyone else notice that Brooke's tongue seems too big for her mouth? She always looks strange when she talks. Please, someone put a penis in it to get her to shut up!!!!!

I'm so glad you noticed the muffin top - I saw that right away! One of the girls on Maui Fever had one yesterday, too. Seriously, these girls are skinny little things, but they still can't wear shorts that fit?


Loved the Brooke freak out. And, it was pretty weird, because I've always seen comments about how hot/pretty Brooke is, but I never saw it until this episode. She is WAY more attractive than Colie and Jen.


Speaking of Colie - how needy can you get? I love Alex's friend actually telling her like it is. Too bad she was too drunk to realize it!


Can't wait to see the next episode!

mangos- when i was 22, i started drinking at 1 pm sometimes. football games, friends in from out of town, some other sort of event. it's not that unusual for people who are still in the college mindset to drink early in the day on a weekend.
and colie's comment about being drunk not being an excuse for jenn making out with alex- oh, it totally is. i got so drunk one time in college that when i finally came out of my black out, i was in the middle of a dance floor, making out with a guy i would have never kissed had i been sober. in my favor, i was 19 and i've never been that drunk since. but it DOES happen. and jenn seems to be a little bit of an alcoholic.

I thought Brooke was right on the money, I was just surprised that it took her so long.

E. Colie and Jenn are obnoxious, clique-ish, irritating and dumb. They have consistently iced Brooke out, and gone out of their way to make her feel like the "odd girl out". Brooke hates Outward Bound; and I think it's a fucked up job to FORCE someone to do - WHY would she want to do something she hates to support people she hates? I don't blame her.

Colie is totally Passive -Aggressive, when she pulled that shit regarding the MACARONI PAN on Brooke, I thought it would have been totally justifiable for Brooke to beat her with it. Then Jenn, being the great "friend" she is, continues to add fuel to the fire, and ratchet things up.

Colie is pathetic. I find her to be one of the most revolting people to have ever been on the RW. I absolutely HATE her too! She is also a very homely girl, she rivals that idiot Sarah from Philly in neediness, ugliness and self-delusion. Blech!

Jenn is a whore. She is a low-rent, loud-mouthed, crazy, ugly, trashy whore. She is just so low class, it's hard to watch her - it's like watching hookers at a bus stop.

I loved Alex's friend, he was so disgusted in general, especially with Alex at the end. I loved how he was just utterly dismissive of Colie, he obviously found her as dumb and unappealing as most of us do.

I wish Brooke and Alex would hook-up. That would Brooke's ultimate "FUCK YOU" to those two awful hags.

OMG B-SIDE! You are KILLING ME!

I don't think I'm ever watching the show again, seriously, because your recap is so much BETTER!

And yes, this part: *Cut to me clapping like a giddy seal.* AHAHAHA!

Honest to god, I laughed so hard my throat hurt.

I hate Colie too. She whines, I cannot stand it. I knew a woman who talked like that and THANK GOD she finally moved away so I wouldn't have to bump into her at parties anymore. She had that same, low-throat growling, whiney voice crap going on. "I saaaaaaaid I have monnnnnnnnooooooo" *mewl, whine, spew*

"aaaaahhhhhhh....
ehhhhhhhh....wahhhhhhhh"

OH for god's SAKE, somebody slap her before she speaks again! Tape that mouth SHUT! And it KILLS me that she has a college degree! Surely that's a mistake!?

Have higher-educational degrees come to mean so little? Wait, don't answer, I don't wanna know.

/covers face with hands

GREAT re-cap, too funny!

When did Colie "try to make Brooke an outcast"? I completely missed that...there you go again with your outlandish statements...

And "Why is Colie asking about a pot while others left dirty dishes in the sink too? You know why? It was a test to see if she can push Brooke around, but she found out that if she messed with Brooke, she will be sorry. "
HA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAH! Yeah, I'm sure Colie is reallllllly intimidated now because of that embarassingly histroinic display. She definitely won't mess with Brooke now for fear that she might revert back into a 5-year old again!! Maybe Colie said something to Brooke because she was the only person in the kitchen at the time?

Chee Z-I liked Sarah from Philly! After the first few episodes she stopped being so needy of MJ's attention, probably when she realized how ridiculous she was being.

*histrionic

Ok, had to watch this on MTV/overdrive.

Great episode!

1) Brooke clearly overacted to the brat comment from Jen. I mean seriously...when was being called a brat when you're over the age of 12 insulting. Some people use it as a term of endearment.

2) I cannot understand how ANYONE deals with Colie. Alex's penis is even aware of the danger that lies beneath the surface. I'd actually like to watch her in a challenge show, just to see how many men she can attach herself to during a given season. She absolutely astounds and disgusts me.

3) Alex was downright rude to his guest while kissing Jen at the bar. He looked completely uncomfortable sitting next to the spectacle of Jen and Alex making-out (MID AFTERNOON IN A BAR).

This cast is completely reprehensible. They're oversexed, devoid of any manners or feelings, drink too much and slur out too many life "philosophies".

I would probably flip the f**k out like Brooke if I had to live with them.

haha. i can't believe so many people are defending brooke. you all must be lunatics too.

I think the safest thing to say is that all three of these women are lost causes. There seems to be the a glimpse of something salvageable within each of Tyrie, Davis, and even Alex. Steven is a complete mystery to me.

-#29, Cheez-e, you took the words RIGHT out of my mouth. THANK YOU! Your comments are always right on the money.

Rock *, and Luxe- whatever guys, you can hate on Brooke all you want, just don't defend Colie, that's all I ask for. If you think Colie and Jen are the normal ones, you guys clearly have issues. Yes, I'm a geek defending Brooke all the time, but it's not because I think she's a goddess. I just REALLY hate Colie and Jen. It's people like them who causes so much trouble within a group of friends, not to mention spread diseases whereever they go.

I think Alex's friend is the spokesperson for all the viewers. He should remain in the show to straighten up Colie, even though she will not understand what he's saying, since she's unable to communicate with anything but a mirror.

i'm definitely not defending colie and jenn. i don't think they're the 'normal' ones, but both of them put together aren't nearly as crazy as brooke. i don't like anyone on this show. except for brett. yeah. he should stay.

Yeah I agree with luxe. I'm definitely not defending them, but Brooke is the worst. I could handle being in a room with Tyrie and Davis. And Brett is awesome.

Great recap

I haven't even seen this episode yet and I have been dying to see this all season. Brooke fucking kicks major ass for telling those two alcoholics off.

I don't even understand how Colie and Jenn can be friends when Jenn fucks Alex, knowing that Colie likes him. It kind of seems like retarded BS in college.

This episode was hilarious. Funniest of the season so far.

Hilarious recap B-side. I really like the whitesnake caption, that had me dying.

Jenn IMO is officially the biggest ho in Real World history. It was like she was waiting for Colie's boyfriend to show up so she could bone Alex again. And she didn't even wait that long, at least wait a few days ho!

And Brooke, Brooke, what can I say, you are just incredibly immature. The most immature in the house because you can dish it but you sure as hell can't take it. Also I don't think I've ever seen a woman look so incredibly hot one minute and then look so incrediby crappy the next minute like Brooke. It is amazing.

And wow Davis' boyfriend became like a roomate while he was there.

Thanks rollepolee, and right back at'cha!

Rock Star, you seriously thought Sarah from Philly wasn't sporting MAJOR damage? Do you remember the night in (Fiji, Tahiti?) when she tried to bring THREE different men back to her villa, who were all friends, and who kept running out on her? And she really never did let go of MJ. And she was fugly too.

Brooke wasn't just reacting to being called a brat, she had a meltdown because Jenn and E. Colie have been consistently catty, and disrespectful. Jenn picked a fight, and she got one - it'll be interesting to see how this all plays out now that E. Colie and Jenn have once again violated everyone else's boundary lines.

I have to say also, if some low-life skanks tried calling me out on ANYTHING, I would shut that down immediately. Brooke is confident, and doesn't care if they like her or not - she's just not going to play along with their bullshit. Why should she?

BTW - If E. Colie and Jenn are so worried about cleanliness, they should start by not swapping DNA with men they barely know.

Ok B-side, hands down best recap ever!!!! Where you tipsy when you wrote this, it seems like you were a bit. Either way I fucking love it.

Jen is obviously one of those girls that can't handle their friend getting more attention than them. She claimed that she was repulsed at the thought of having sex with Alex, yet as soon as he and Colie were messing around again, there she was, ready to make out. And Colie, dear God, what the hell is wrong with you?? She is so needy it is painful to watch.

P.S. Really what is the big deal about Alex? I'm sure there are many other better looking, nicer guys that would be willing to mess around with a couple of skanks any given drunken night.

"Colie, there is a book called "He's Just Not That Into You." Thanks for setting back the feminist movement at least 8 years."


OMG, hanan5050, THANK YOU. I enjoyed the little jog that Colie had while saying, "It's so nice to know that Alex isn't into me." Which was followed by her immediately suctioning her vagina to Alex's crotch. Oh yeah, she has no control over what her vagina does, right?

She is a hot mess and so pathetic. Thanks for representing the female population HORRIBLY..

"BTW - If E. Colie and Jenn are so worried about cleanliness, they should start by not swapping DNA with men they barely know."

Hilarious, lol. And so true.

All of these people are deeply flawed, but Brooke at least seems genuine. Genuinely insane, but genuine.

Davis is also somewhat likable, at least when he is not drunkenly shouting racial epithets.

And Stephen has also marginally improved from the self-righteous hypocrite he was when the show began.

Not much positive to say about the other four.

It took a REAL woman to put this real world on the map finally. From the beginning of this season I could not understand why producers chose Colie. She instantly seemed like a person with some kind of serious medical problem due to long term drug addiction. Anyone else get the feeling that the bitch has been hitting the crackpipe since puberty? I was like why cant MTV have at least one person on this show who isn't a harcore alcoholic/addict/slut?

Brooke really did MTV a great service by putting those 2 moron "females" in their places. If I were in her shoes I wouldve long ago been like, "Alex is gay!" but obviously Brooke has her act together completely and chooses not to point out the obvious to the fools. Colie was trying to start shit with her about the cleaning; it is a classic insecure bitch move to try to drag a strong confident woman into your drama when you're clearly in over your head. (as Colie definitely is; she and Jenn are jokes.)

tyree and brooke are the only decent people on this show and it's becoming more and more interesting to see them fight the devils in their midst. Tyree seems to know Stephen is a 2-faced slut in the closet (how come he takes such issue with Davis' homosexuality but he himself revels in promiscuity? aren't there 2 commandments specifically condemning adultery and none about same sex relations?)

Brooke, I thought the outward bound episodes showed her in a bad light; she obviously was conniving to get out of it. But now I really dont blame her for not wanting to go up in the Rockies with a bunch of off-their-rocker hoes! I really think it must be easier to climb a mountain than to live in a real world fishbowl with such obnoxious and toxic drama queens!

The funniest thing is that you can tell in HS, Jenn may have been the super popular cheerleader slut, Colie wouldve been the kinda popular meth-head slut, and Alex wouldve been home alone every weekend staring at his Mac and playing the Sims! Thank you MTV for bringing these people together so a classy take no prisoners broad like Brooke can expose them for what they all really are.

I hope Tyree and Brooke get together. They would have cute babies!

Great recap, B-Side! When Brooke stormed out of the house, I totally thought she was running toward the ghetto too!

Yes, Colie's a pathetic mess, but Brooke's response was not proportionate to either the macaroni incident, or the "brat" incident. Is it that horrible of an insult? No. Plus, recapping the story to Stephen, she acted as though Colie hurled that pot at her head, not just asked a question, however PA it had been.

Someone mentioned that Brooke might have issues with cleaning, good call. I completely forgot about the camping cleaning-up controversy.

Also, I really hate her facial expressions. They’re almost as bad as Kina’s over-exaggerated lip movements.

Brooke has eyes like a mole(the animal) pun intended. See first picture.

Okay Colie's question definitely didn't warrant such a bitchy response from Brooke, but honestly.. I'm sure it was a long time coming. Whenever my roommates would try to tell me to clean up, I would definitely think Brooke-like thoughts in my head because I knew that I had cleaned up after them several times before.

Her going off on Jenn was a bit outrageous, but, I'm sure she just doesn't care about Jenn. Why should she respect Jenn when the girl doesn't even show any ounce of self-respect? That being said, Brooke is just a spoiled girl with psychologists for parents. I'm sure she's used to acting up for attention.

Stephen is just dead weight. He does nothing in any situation, offers no intellectual or well-thought out insight, and pretty much stays out of all of the drama (even the drama he creates himself). He's going to make a great father!!

I was going to avoid commenting, but one thing stuck out in the responses that made me change my mind. First, Colie and Jenn are both bat shit insane. I don't know what hole those two crawled out of, but they've got serious issues. Colie is clingy to the extreme and Jenn even screws over people that she refers to as friends. Both are frighteningly self destructive.

Now, the point that made me throw my two cents in is the myth that Brooke is a "strong" woman. I will say that she has pride or self esteem in that she was willing to stand up to perceived aggression, but that's as far as it goes. When using the word strength to describe a person, you're generally refering to either physical strength of strength of character. Since we don't see Brooke lifting buses and using Stephen's head for an arm rest, I'll assume everyone is saying she has strength of character...that's not really evident. Someone who has strength of character is someone who will follow through on a commitment in spite of obstacles (in Brooke's case, herself). Brooke's horrible work ethic shows that her character is not terribly strong. While Jenn and Colie are complete whack jobs, even a broken clock is right twice a day, Brooke is a little princess and has issues with doing work she sees as beneath her. That's a character flaw, not a strength.