Testimonials

Naturally, my first order of business is the bathroom, which is not that big, and has only little tiny cosmetic mirrors on the sinks. How are you supposed to be TV ready with such tiny little mirrors? Also, they're out of toilet paper, but luckily I had a Starbucks napkin in my coat pocket. Was that too much information? I head out of the bathroom, and saunter over to the kitchen, where I notice coffee and pastries. Oooooh, coffee! And food! I'm ecstatic, until Jess corrals me away and tells me we're on a schedule and the interviewing must start now. My arch-nemesis is very, very good at her job. I could make a day of wandering around randomly with a cup of coffee. Actually, I normally do make a day of it.

I will be meeting with the cast in groups of two, and the first team up is Katelynn and Devyn. Katelynn takes me into their shared room. Katelynn is tall with long brown hair, striking blue eyes and gorgeous eyebrows. Anyway, because my stupid screener didn't work, and the stupid pier took forever to find, I really have not a clue about this girl at all. So I start making small talk and reading about her from the press release at the same time, and hello...Katelynn's a transgender! Did I say that right? Am I being politically correct? She was born a boy, and did her surgery in Thailand a month before she moved into the Real World house.

Well, I'm fascinated, but I don't want to spend all my time talking about the used-to-be-a-boy business, cause I don't want to define Katelynn by this. Katelynn is a South Florida girl, like myself. She met her current boyfriend Mike when they were in high school, and she was still a boy. Mike lives in Wisconsin, where Katelynn is currently relocating, but we're not gonna get to meet him, cause for whatever reason, he wasn't able to make it to Brooklyn during filming. Either that, or he's not cute enough for TV and Katelynn banned him.

And Katelynn is super, super cool. I like her immediately. Actually, I kind of like all of them immediately. To my huuuuuge disappointment. The best dirt I get on Katelynn is that she was cast with pink hair, but the producers asked her to change it for filming. But later on, Scotty will tell me that Katelynn used to be a cage dancer. This was conveniently not mentioned during my conversation with her.

The main question I have for the roomies, and this something that I've always wanted to ask a Real Worlder, is why go on the show? I think the real reason is either a) to be a little famous, or b) because you think your coolness must be shared with the world, but I'm guessing no one will actually answer honestly. And I'm mostly right. Katelynn tells me she went to an open call with a friend, just for fun, and lo and behold, they ended up casting her! I don't know if I totally buy it, but I like Katelynn, so I pretend I do. Taking a cue from Andy Cohen, I ask her if she feels any obligation toward being a role model for the transgender community, and she tells me she's a pioneer - which I disagree with, because that girl on America's Next Top Model beat her to it - and that she has no big agenda, but would like to raise awareness.

So, as I'm bonding with Katelynn, Devyn is lounging on her bed, resplendent in a sexy purple dress and boots, texting away. Devyn's kind of fucking fabulous with an adorable little accessory dog. Also, she had the good sense to compliment my shoes when I walked in, so I like her immediately too. Suddenly, Arch-Nemesis Jess walks in to remind me that I'm supposed to be interviewing both girls at the same time. "Did you just get me in trouble?" I accuse Devyn. No, she tells me, she was just lounging there when Jess walked in. Did I mention Jess rocks at her job?

So then I turn my attention to Devyn. Devyn is a beauty queen from Missouri, and she's really gorgeous. Her skin glows. Her press release bio makes a big deal about how she's a tease. "It's easier to get into Heaven that into Devyn" is her catchphrase. I want a catchphrase. Actually, I have several, but none of them rhyme. I need one that rhymes. The bio also says Devyn's a diva, which I definitely can see, although she's very sweet to me. But if there's going to be any drama this house at all, Devyn may be our girl.

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