Hola! Bienvenido! Eh, that's all I got. Here's the Real World, last day in Cancun!
Could you be more specific?
Welcome back to Cancun with some sad, eerie music. Emilee tells us that everyone's leaving on bad terms. Jassy agrees and talks about building a bridge. Ayiiia gets on the phone with this alleged boyfriend, Ryan, who she keeps calling "Daddy-O". Back to Em & Jassy and the spooky music, talking about how much they wish Joey the walking herpes scab was still there. More eerie music, and we cut back to the boys and (of course) Rihanna saying the same thing. And then...there he is.
He rings the doorbell and the roomies jump all over him. Well, all except Ayiiia. Joey says now that Student City is done, he's coming back to say a proper goodbye. And yeah, Ayiiia's really pretty annoyed. The first thing The Herp wants to know is where's the hot new roommate Lauren? Sucka! They tell him he just missed her, she just left. Jassy tells us that fake Lauren is from Oregon? Nebraska? "I don't know where that bitch is from." Even the imaginary roommate gets more play than Jassy and you can tell she's not happy about it.
I know invisibitch didn't try take my man.
They sit around the living room talking about how Herp's psycho doll head is now sleeping with the fishes at the bottom of the sea. And they blame it on Lauren, who apparently has now been re-cast as a complete bitch. Even Ayiiia prefers The Herp to wretched, imaginary Lauren - and this makes Herpe decide to forgive her for...wait, why does he hate her again? I don't even know. All I know is he leaps across the room in his ridiculous red sweat band and excruciatingly fashionable jean shorts and gives her a hug.
Brawny tells us that imaginary Lauren is responsible for bringing Herp and Ayiiia back together! Oh, and The Herp vows to have sex with Lauren. Now I'm sort of wishing there really was a Lauren to be bitchy to him and tell never gonna happen. And out on the patio, Herp ups the ante. Now he wants to have sex not only with the new fake roommate, but also with Rihanna. "Call me crazy...but I love a challenge!" he chortles. And for the seemingly nine hundredth time this season, I'm wondering where the hell these disgusting, loser guys get this swagger?
I don't know if it's the scoliosis, the headband, or the flip bangs. Or a combination.
Jassy tells Herp how happy she is that he's back. And the Herp grabs Ayiiia, gives her another hug and tells her he's sorry about all their differences. But that her picking him over Lauren is what made her really forgive him. Dumbass sucka! Brawny tells us this Lauren plan makes him a genius. Ummmm, no. And outside with Jassy and Em, Ayiiia is not quite as forgiving as she seems. Also, Emilee's wearing a shirt that says "If you're rich, I'm single." Hey, me too!
And Herp's going pretty far with his newfound friendship. He invites Ayiiia out to the tequilia bar. And then things start happening fast! Rihanna says she "might" hook up with Herp. I'm fucking nauseous. Then Herp tells us that he feels some kind of sexy vibe going on between Rihanna, Ayiiia and Emilee. Well, taking Herp out of the equation does take some of the nausea away. If only Rihanna's fake hair wasn't in the picture.
Bald by 28.
Then Herp gets filled in on the Rihanna / Ayiiia / Scrawny pat threesome. Then they all get in the elevator and have an orgy. Not really. But from the way everyone's carrying on, it doesn't seem impossible. At the tequila bar, they're all having fun. Ayiiia tells us that Herp is the "great uniter". And she lets him seal the deal by grabbing her boob. Gross.
I have a sneaking suspicion this girl is gonna be President one day.
Back at the house, The Herp is looking for Lauren. And the gig is up! They leave him a note telling him what an idiot he is. I second that. It was a pretty good prank though. And the reconciliations are coming fast and furious tonight! Next up is Emilee dragging Brawny away...to apologize to him? "Awwww...it's okay," he tells her. What a sport.
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Comments (8)
Great Recap ChickBomb! I didn't watch the show this season, but got my updates and chuckles from you, instead!
Shameless plug for a friend time! My buddy Sam (theflyingchange dot com) composed the music during the good-bye scene! It's an instrumental version of his song "Broken Bow." He's ridiculously talented and I'm proud of him.
1 of 8 | Posted by Dogsnaxx | Posted on September 13, 2009 10:17 AM
Your buddy Sam might want to keep that off his resume.
2 of 8 | Posted by NotWithoutMyTV | Posted on September 13, 2009 11:54 AM
Ayiiia really upped the skank ante. I mean really, how easy can one girl be?
I always hate the "good-bye" scenes in the finale because they are all walking into the same dinky airport. It's not like they aren't going to see each other again in like, two minutes. When they showed Derek and Jonna getting on the elevator Bronne was right in front of them.
And as much as I hate to admit it, Jonna looked really pretty in the preview for the reunion. She was pretty when she got there, and pretty when it was over. What the hell happened in Mexico that made her look so nasty?
3 of 8 | Posted by judyjudy | Posted on September 14, 2009 10:46 AM
ChickBomb! Thanks for taking us through all the scrapeyness and diseaseyness of this season! How nice for them to return to format with drunken skanks and stupid tools. THIS is what the youth of today aspire to be, right?
love to you!
love, J-Mo :)
4 of 8 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on September 15, 2009 8:48 AM
Is anyone thinking that it's sexual tension that caused Joey and Ayiiia not to get along in the first place?
5 of 8 | Posted by sardini | Posted on September 16, 2009 10:22 AM
no i think it was the tequila..and the fact that ayiiiiia is a whore.
6 of 8 | Posted by loves2play05 | Posted on September 16, 2009 3:10 PM
ChickBomb ! My what a long way you have come since the Denver Days. We used to chat back then.
As a Colie fan (aka. MOM) I am glad B-side was re-capping then. lol...
Thanks for giving me some laughs.
7 of 8 | Posted by ashley | Posted on September 17, 2009 1:29 PM
Has the recap for the reunion episode or "the shit they should have shown" been posted yet? I don't see it in the archives.
8 of 8 | Posted by channel flipper | Posted on October 6, 2009 4:09 PM