That night, Derek and Joey bond about life and stuff. Derek was valedictorian of his high school and wants to be in sports medicine. Joey wants to do music. "You know you're gonna be huge," Derek tells him knowingly. I'm sorry, have you even heard his music? This first episode Kumbaya crap is annoying. Joey tells us that he wouldn't mind traveling the country in a smelly van as long as he was playing music. And on the middle school circuit.
Later on, they head out for their second night out in Cancun. Joey hedges his bets and tells us that he's not really a club person, but he'll go along with the group. In the club, CJ buys each girl a rose which Insecuritee takes to mean as true love. She points at him and grinds up against him. Derek thinks they'll kiss at some point. I wonder if it will happen on the same night he has sex with Rihanna.
Meanwhile, Joey's hitting on some skank named Courtnee. And Brawny is making out with someone who Jasmine correctly describes as a Sharon Osbourne lookalike. "I'm all for cougars," CJ tells us, "If she's hot."
And then Joey's skank puts her two cents in. "That's my Mom!" she yells and I can't tell if she's thrilled or embarrassed. But Brawny's sure embarrassed about it afterwards, and comments on the "interesting family dynamic". He ditches Mama Skank, but Joey takes Baby Skank home and fulfills his destiny of having the first sex in the house. CJ doesn't want to sleep in the sexy room, so he curls up in bed with Insecuritee. Oh my.
Is this your first time on TV? You're naturals!
Ayiiia and Jasmine crawl into Joey's room to watch him having sex. Then they make fun of the ho in the confessional. Guess what, ladies? She's getting hers while you sit there in your jammies drawing the action on your Etch-A-Sketch. The next morning, Joey tells us how accomplished he feels. And even better, Baby Skank slips out of the house before he even wakes up.
And then it's time for the morning call to Danielle. Danielle's no dummy, and she's not about to leave her flirty boyfriend alone for too long in Cancun. She's already planning her trip. Quickest visit to the Real World house ever! But who can blame her when CJ spills that Joey got laid the night before and he was forced to spend the night in Insecuritee's bed. Were there no couches, Danielle wants to know? "Nothing happened, nothing to get upset about," CJ deflects. Oh, I get it. Danielle's a jealous girlfriend for not wanting you to spend the night squashed in a twin bed with some other girl. CJ might be a sham. He's might be too cute not to be.
Later on, Joey's skankquest is the talk of the house. CJ wants to make sure he wore a condom. "Don't drink the water, don't get AIDS," he quips. Then it's time for Jasmine and Ayiiia to spill the beans about sneaking in on him while he was doing it. Joey's totally okay with it. He wishes they would have been more obvious. He would have liked to have high fived them mid thrust.
But back to CJ. Danielle's mad and she's taken to the email. At first she was excited to come visit him, but after learning of the spoon session with Insecuritee, she's no longer in the mood. CJ fires back with an email that everything he's done in the house so far, he's done with her in mind. "Are you sure about that?" Brawny asks him. CJ plays dumb, but Brawny tells him it wasn't cool to sleep in a bed with another girl when you have a girlfriend back home.
And I don't know how it happens, but next thing you know, it's turned into a break up email! I know, huh? First he's telling her he's only thinking of her, and two seconds later he's wishing her only the best in life. So, the quickest visit to the Real World house ever has devolved into the quickest breakup with the loser back home ever. I'm sure she planned it all as a passive aggressive way of getting him to beg her to come but CJ doesn't want to do that storyline anymore. Poor Danielle. We hardly knew ye.
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Comments (14)
Fastest recap evah??
Thank you for getting me up to date, haven't watched the show yet......
Wow, a Mexico resort town and these fools?
Hilariosity is bound to ensue... ( at least in these recaps I am sure!)
Loved it!
1 of 14 | Posted by Sweetleaf | Posted on June 25, 2009 8:26 AM
You generally don't like short people?
2 of 14 | Posted by fineprint | Posted on June 25, 2009 8:30 AM
I'm sure CJ has completly blown his chance now of getting into the NFL. Because what every NFL team wants is a player who spends his off season being filmed by MTV getting trashed and hooking up with girls instead of conditioning and training.
3 of 14 | Posted by blazergirl | Posted on June 25, 2009 11:49 AM
"Although she does admit to the whole Napoleon complex, and I respect that cause although I'm not short, I'm definitely a dictator. "
: ) so funny
4 of 14 | Posted by irina0717 | Posted on June 25, 2009 3:09 PM
Yeah...explain why you don't like short people. Do you know what we (short people) have to go through to post a comment? I have to jump from key to key just to spell ONE word.
Moving on. I don't like that way young American tourists treat Mexico. I mean no one would go out and puke in public were they in Paris (France, that is). Of couse they puke if they were in Paris Hitlon. Usually the country is treated like a trash can.
I live in a border town and when I used to go down to the clubs down there, man those kids didn't give a f...care.
Besides, isn't anyone scared of all the kidnappings/killings down there? Some bad peeps are bound to think that MTV would pay a pretty penny for a liquored up/drugged up "bro" from the USA.
5 of 14 | Posted by uglycutie | Posted on June 25, 2009 5:13 PM
aaaaand does anyone elsed think they moved the show down there because legal drinking age is 18? This way the cast can be younger and dumber and we would avoid any pesky maturity or common sense.
6 of 14 | Posted by uglycutie | Posted on June 25, 2009 5:16 PM
actually im pretty sure everyone in the cast is 21+ or the majority anyways... and i work for a company that deals with the legal aspects of reality filming.. and even tho the drinking age their is 18... mtv can promote 18 year olds drinking so it actually wouldnt benefit filming in any other way...
anyways...
a ring piercing? yeah... right up there with tatooing someone's name on you...
7 of 14 | Posted by jthomps | Posted on June 25, 2009 9:24 PM
did anyone else watch the show endurance? probably not. well its basically survivor for teenagers. jonna was on the first season. i think she won the whole thing. i hated her then and i hate her now. she was that girl who would win and then would cry about having to send people to fight for their lives on the show. i always hate those people. but yeah cj is BANGIN
8 of 14 | Posted by preppyboy | Posted on June 25, 2009 10:18 PM
Bronne reminds me of Isaac a little bit. Btw, I think Isaac is the funniest real world cast member ever, his whole speech from the Duel 2, about "I think Rachel is a real Lesbian, not those, my dad didn't pay any attention to me, so I kiss random girls in club Lesbian." still gets a chuckle out of me.
9 of 14 | Posted by nflow | Posted on June 26, 2009 12:10 AM
Joey is a hoot. Even though he is probably a total ass, it seems funny to me. Also, did anyone notice the line in Rihanna's boyfriend's little list of things that he loved about her that said "you cleaning me"? Huh?
10 of 14 | Posted by texasgal75 | Posted on June 26, 2009 1:53 AM
Chickboooooomb! Welcome back, and I think this seasons has MUCH more promise to damage the image of young people in our country today than those snoozers in Brooklyn and their silly pranks and paeans to tampons. I'm so glad you're here to help us through it. Glad to have you back again!
love, J-Mo :)
11 of 14 | Posted by J-Mo | Posted on June 26, 2009 10:50 AM
I have decided that Joey is my favorite. And he's kinda hot in a skeevy way. Like you said, his excitement to get some "ass" didn't even bother me. I actually thought it was cute! I hope he hooks up with Jonna and wins his bet.
CJ is hot too, but he reminds me of a hotter version of the goober hillbilly from Australia. What was his name, Coda, or something? Anyhoo, my money's on him to sleep with a roommate first. Probably Emilee.
12 of 14 | Posted by jadestarla | Posted on June 26, 2009 5:44 PM
It seems to me that they took the Brooklyn casting template (token black girl, meathead jock, puerto rican gay man, etc.) and applied it to a locale that would be more amenable to drama. Not that I'm complaining... YET!
13 of 14 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on June 30, 2009 5:44 AM
Excellent recap as always! Against my better judgment, I have started watching AGAIN, even though I swore I wouldn't. I'm almost as old as CJ, and since he's too old to be on the show, I'm probably way too old to be watching it. Allllllso.....I do not find Joey endearing; I think he is trying too hard and I find him to be a douche. But that's most likely because cocky, skinny-jeans-clad musicians are not my thang.
And why do people with the theory that they're ohhhhhhh-soooooo-in-loooooove with their significant other back home, but they can have "cuddle buddies" of the opposite sex while away because it's completely "innocent" keep showing up on these shows? Good god, it is NOT innocent. Does MTV seek these people out?!........Oh, wait. Did I really just ask that? Of course they do.
14 of 14 | Posted by andreak1013 | Posted on July 1, 2009 6:57 PM